August 15, 2005

Reviews You Can Use: My Friend Anthony

I've known my friend Anthony for over 10 years. He's definitely what you would call a "really good guy." I would trust him with my own children, he's funny and we like a lot of the same bands.

He has been playing around with some online dating sites recently, and I salute him for writing one of the greatest profile headlines ever: "I'm like John Cusack and a unicorn, rolled into one." Absolutely brilliant! (Even though he didn't take my suggestion to make his dating screenname "Manthony.")

Anthony also snores like a possessed freak. Now matter how hard you think you've heard anyone snore (including in cartoons), Anthony is louder. If I'd try to recreate it, I'd hurt myself. He also has high-cholesterol, which goes up even when he watches his diet. He takes Lipitor for it, which is kind of cool only because Lipitor sounds like a fat-fighting superhero.

- Smart
- Funny
- Trustworthy

- Sunburns way too easily
- High-cholesterol
- Car always dirty
- Never wraps my presents

Bottom Line: I consider Anthony one of my best friends, and I'm lucky to know him.

Final Grade: B+

UPDATE 3/3/2007 I have received the following request from Anthony...

"I hearby submit my request to have my "Review You Can Use" reviewed and amended. My comic snoring has been cured -- it's not even mildly amusing anymore -- and I now keep my car much cleaner. Unfortunately my cholesterol has reached a career high of 286, despite my Lipitor being raised to 40 mg and my weight down to a svelte 172."

Duly noted, Anthony. I will adjust your review accordingly:

- Sunburns way too easily
- Non-Comic snoring
- High-cholesterol
- Never wraps my presents
-Makes me go back in and tweak things I wrote 2 years ago

Final Grade: B

Previous Reviews:
Identical Twins
My mom

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