November 29, 2003

The Dreaded "C" Word

When I started up The Sneeze way back in 2003, I played around with Google's "Adwords" service to try and get a few eyeballs to the site. Basically, you write your little ad, it starts appearing on Google, and you pay whenever someone clicks on it.

The first ad I wrote was pretty pedestrian. Here it is:

ad #1

Not very many people were clicking on it. (Bastards.) So, I tried a few other standard sounding ads without much success either. I needed to write an ad that stood out from the other ones a little, so I thought I'd take the honest approach. I finally hit upon the following:

ad #1

Within minutes the click rate rose dramatically. But even as I was typing it, I wondered if Google would eventually pull the ad. Not only did it say "Sweet Jesus," (which I guess somebody out there could find offensive) it was also basically saying the Adwords service was too much money.

Sure enough, a few days later I got the following CLASSIC email:

Hello Steven,

Thank you for advertising with Google AdWords. After reviewing your
account, I have found that one or more of your ads or keywords does not
meet our guidelines. The results are outlined in the report below.

Action taken: Suspended - Pending Revision
Issue(s): Unacceptable Phrases***

Fair enough. I had expected it. Then I read the rest of the email:

Your ad(s) contains the following unacceptable
phrase(s): "Click". Please remove these phrases from your ads, as the
limited text space should be used for concise, informative language
that will entice users to click on your ad.

My unnacceptable phrase was the word: "Click"?!!! So, what you are saying is, you want me to remove the word "click" so I could better entice users to "click on my ad." Fine. But first please allow me to remove my "underwear," so I can better entice you to "eat my balls."

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Posted by Steven | Archive