July 7, 2003

Same Shrimp, Different Planet

When I see a new toy like Sea Monkeys on Mars, only one word comes to mind... finally. Why should these precocious little fellers be bound to the Earth like the rest of us? I know they're still going to die in a day and half, but now it's on Mars! Which is the reason I have no choice but to elevate this site (and the nation) to a Code Orange Toy Alert.

I must admit as cool as this toy is, I don't fully understand the concept. Are the Sea Monkeys supposed to be living in a dome of water on the surface of Mars? Or is the dome of water supposed to represent some type of weightless atmosphere the Sea Monkeys are floating around in? Mars has gravity, so I'm not sure why they'd be floating.

Unless, a tiny Sea Monkey is light enough to float around in the reduced gravity of Mars. In fact, now I'm sure that's it, because I know the people who make Sea Monkeys would never put out a toy that wasn't based on reality. I mean, think of the trouble they went to to make the drawings of the Sea Monkeys on the box look accurate.

If you've been feeling a little blue lately... If the "Man" has yet again been holding you down... if you've come to the realization that you're probably going to die without making any difference in the world... Cheer up! Now you can buy happiness for only ten bucks. Click here to get yourself some Sea-Monkeys on Mars.

Click here for The Sneeze Home Page!
Posted by Steven | Archive