October 23, 2003

Barbie As Rapunzel As Bizarre

This is a box of "Barbie as Rapunzel Fruit Snacks." It is a promotional tie-in with the movie "Barbie as Rapunzel." It has also been making me crazy for days.

Barbie as Rapunzel. What does that mean? I wander around my house muttering it to myself. "Barbie as Rapunzel... Barbie as Rapunzel..."

I guess what's bothering me is that Barbie is not an actress. Barbie is a doll. And in this case she's not even a doll, she's just a drawing of a doll.

And what about the actress Kelly Sheridan who provided the voice? She's not doing the voice of Rapunzel. Remember, she's doing the voice of Barbie as Rapunzel. (But not really, for it is Barbie who is Rapunzel.)

That all being said, what we really have here is a box of fruit snacks. Barbie as Rapunzel Fruit Snacks. Bear with me while I try to sort through the representational layers taking place...

Artificially colored corn syrup AS fruit AS a snack AS a hairbrush... AS SEEN IN a movie with Kelly Sheridan AS a doll AS a drawing AS a fairy tale AS a movie. There, that makes total sense.

I came up with a few more cross-marketing plans the "Barbie as Rapunzel Fruit Snack" people can have. (Free of charge, as always.)

"My Pretty Pony as Seabiscuit" Choclatey Manure Puddin' Cups

"Monchichi as King Kong" Banana-Shaped Extreme String Cheese

"Furby as Ghandi" Super Sour Gummy Squeeze Yogurt "Passive Resistance" Squares

By the way, "Barbie in the Nutcracker Suite" is now also out on video. I guess they're hoping I'll say, "Oh look! Barbie in the Nutcracker Suite! We have got to see that. She was so good as Rapunzel!"

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Posted by Steven | Archive