i blame george washington carver
This is one of those little things that just eats at my brain. Here's a jar of "Simply Jif" peanut butter. It contains slightly less sugar than regular Jif. It also contains a slightly huge problem. There's only one thing that is "simply Jif"-- a jar of JIF! The very moment you alter the Jif recipe in the tiniest, teeniest, eensie-weensiest way, it's no longer Jif. In fact, it's simply NOT Jif! To all readers of The Sneeze who make Jif: feel free to call your new product "SIMPLER JIF" or "SLIGHTLY-LESS-SWEET JIF" OR "PRETENDING IT'S SKIPPY JIF" but please stop calling it "SIMPLY JIF." Not just because it's silly, but because you're giving me an ulcer. Is there a National Peanut Butter Council? I'm filing a complaint. This is lunacy! And I need to start drinking simply decaf. Click here for The Sneeze homepage. rallying the peanut troopsThe day I put up the Simply Jif post I forwarded a copy to the Jif people, but they didn't write back. So I sent the following dopey and urgent group email to The Peanut Advisory Board, Peanut Grower Magazine, aboutpeanuts.com and The National Peanut Board.
It's odd, but for some reason I didn't hear back from any of them either. If I don't get a response today, I'll write again. UPDATE: I did hear back from Peanut Grower's Magazine. I'll post it in the A.M. along with my stupid follow-up email I had prepared to send them all. Click here for The Sneeze homepage. mother nature's vitamin pillTwo days ago I sent a silly email to the Peanut Advisory Board, Peanut Grower Magazine, aboutpeanuts.com and The National Peanut Board regarding my issues with Simply Jif. None of them wrote back, so I started to write this 2nd email to them:
Before I could send it, the editor of Peanut Grower Magazine ended my fun by writing back and being all nice and helpful. Here's her response to the initial email:
Some people are pro-life, some people are pro-choice. Amanda is pro-peanut. If you'd like to learn more about the beloved peanut she suggests you check out: www.peanutbutterlovers.com, www.nationalpeanutboard.org and http://peanut-institute.org. Official PEANUT PALS membership certificates are now available. Click here for your special suitable-for-framing-and-cherisihing PDF file certificate. Click here for The Sneeze homepage. |
![]() ![]() First time here? Steve, Don't Eat It! might not be a bad place to start. ![]() Why not subscribe to The Sneeze? It's free. It's painless. And I dare you. ![]() ![]()
THE PAINLESS SNEEZE HOLIDAY DONATION BOX If you're going to be doing any shopping at Amazon and would like to send a little love to The Sneeze at the same time... PLEASE USE THIS LINK TO GET TO AMAZON ![]() ![]() ![]() Cockeyed Retrocrush Uncanny Adventures Eric Joyner's Tin Robot Art Cloud Cult Andrew Zimmern - Bizarre Foods Natalie Dee Bent Objects Be The Boy The Slack Daily Defective Yeti Snack Reports The Art of S. Britt WilloToons Coop (sometimes nsfw) Bagel Radio Archie McPhee Awesome Book Journals! Be The Boy Drawn! Toothpaste for Dinner The Art of Gary Taxali In The Air Nicole Gastonguay Disgrasian Sloppy Cans Very Big Blog Tenth Muse The Bloggess .: FRIENDS OF THE STEVE :. Peter Pagano Graphics Doodle Monkey Pronutrex Creature from the Blog Sloppy Cans DelBloggolo Lisasmith Hungry Girl Forgotten NY Meshugena Interfuel Aquidneck Inquirer Leader Creative Steve Zmak Photography Guster Organic Consumers ![]() Moxie Design Studios™ some backgrounds by ![]() powered by: Movable Type © 2003-2012 The Sneeze All rights reserved. No portion of this site may be reproduced in any fashion without express written permission. |