Not long ago I wrote about my little one flushing the mysterious "blue track" down the toilet.

The plumber eventually returned and this time he removed the entire toilet from the floor before he attempted to unravel the mystery for good.

I'm sad to report that he find nothing more than some cardboard and part of a flushable wipe that apparently isn't as flushable as advertised.

No blue track.

I'm glad the toilet is working again, but I'm also disappointed that we'll never know what he flushed. The Blue Track will just have to take its place among the world's great mysteries like Stonehenge, and the Bermuda Triangle and the Mystery of the Very Funny Third Thing. (The mystery there being, I'm too lazy to think of it.)

But, while we're on the topic of toilets, I received a hand-drawn Christmas card last night that reminded me of something fantastic.

My friend Tom has 2 kids - ages 12 and 14. Last year, just as a goof, his kids decided to put some cookies out for Santa, along with a note. They ended it with a little smart-assery, telling Santa that if he needed to use the bathroom, it was the first door down the hall on the left.

Tom found this letter late on Christmas eve and decided to leave his kids the greatest present of all. He found some squishy ginger bread his wife had baked earlier and lovingly left it in the toilet.

He even went to the trouble of sticking some little pieces of candy cane in it, to add to the Santa authenticity.

It's this attention to detail that makes Tom a superhero.

Thanks for the card, Tom. Christmas is saved!

Another little Sneeze holiday tradition would be "Hugo's Christmas in New York."

"Hugo, The Man of 1000 Faces" was a toy introduced by Kenner in the 70s. He came with a bunch of cool disguises like wigs, mustaches, and weird teeth that you'd glue to his face.

A billion years ago in the 80s, my pal Tony and I took Hugo to Manhattan at Christmas time (with only his regular face) and photographed him all over the place. Here he is pictured above taking the subway right into the city. (He's tougher to spot in some of the pictures than others.)

Go check out Hugo's Christmas in New York right here.

Mr. E writes...

Steve,

Our story begins with one PinkStainlessTail, who in an Ask Metafilter post about a Christmas song said the following:

" I like to sing Jingle Bell Rock, but using only the words "bell", "rock", and "jingle":

Bell rock jingle rock
Bell jingle rock
Rock jingle rock
Bell jingle bell
Rock bell
Jingle
Rock rock bell
Jingle rock, jingle rock
Bell bell bell

Drives my wife nuts. I'd record an MP3 of me doing it if someone could find me a karaoke track."

Soon after, much to the chagrin of humanity as a whole, he actually did record his version of the song.

It's only fair that you have to endure it, in penance for your bringing up that O Holy Night song every year.

Your... Friend?
Mr. E
http://www.eopoint.com

Thanks, E. I'm not sure it compares to the beautiful atrocity of O Holy Night, but I do like that it comes from the pure place of something he tortures his wife with.

UPDATE: I talked to Drew over at Toothpaste for Dinner, and it's a complete coincidence that this was the drawing he put up on the same day I posted the story above.

(Drew always rocks. As does his wife, and my bud, Natalie Dee.)