What? The rest of us don't get to see the picture of Alicia? I mean, it's the internet. You can trust everyone here to behave themselves, right?

Did you ever find out about decorating the town for Christmas?

Also, typing random words into netscape with .com at the end sounds suspiciously like you were looking for porn, but ran out of ideas and just typed the first word that came to mind.

I love you, Steve, for stories like this. And your 'anal douche' ad on the sidebar. I love that too. And on preview, I agree with Craig - this post is no good without that picture - heavily modified to make Alicia look like a head of broccoli or not.

I think I used to live in Broccoli town, too. Only it was called Flint, Michigan when I was there.

When I told my mom that my friends said broccoli was poison, she said that was part of the evil plan.

My therapist thanks you for stirring up these memories.

I can't post a pic of Alicia unless she says it's okay first. Lisa is getting me in touch with her. If she says it's okay, I'll post it.

-Steve

Oh my gosh, that is so funny! What a crazy, small world we live in. Can't wait to hear about the reunion.

You need to get her "okay". Even if it requires a head lock and noogies!

Did you come clean that you aren't 18 years old? and how did they ever figure out this connection??

What a wonderful, heart-warming story, and what a small, broccoli world we live in. I can't wait to hear how this fateful reunion pans out. Will there be tears? Will there be crudite? I wait anxiously to hear more.

yea, I'm really curious how Lisa figured out who she was.

And whether or not they actually had broccoli.

Can you get to broccoli town from that secret spot in Halloween Land from Nightmare Before Christmas?

Hi Steve! I too used to type in random words + .com in 1998! I never discovered anything so magical as Broccoli Town.

I specifically remember being shocked that ihateyou.com was a gay porn site.

...yep. I just checked, though, and the domain name is for sale. Perhaps the dream will live again!

THIS IS HOW THEY GET YOU. Alicia is part of the conspiracy, and now Lisa is in on it too.

I think this was no broccoli accident.

My question is...in Broccoli town, how do they know when it's garbage day? Broccoli smells like old moldy feet even when it's fresh!

You can still visit Broccoli town thanks to the time and space bending powers of the wayback machine on the Internet archive website. Here's a link to BROCCOLI TOWN!

http://web.archive.org/web/19961222181748/http://broccoli.com/

Sadly Steve's email was not saved. I checked everywhere but sadly it is lost in the bowls of time.

@ kirk -- I've gotta figure that Lisa and Alicia, while being strangers, happened for whatever reason to be attending the same social function, and in the course of their conversation, (probably discussing their careers) mentioned that she'd been involved with the broccoli.com site. Lisa, not quite able to recall the details of Steve's past interaction with the site, IM'd him to find out, and hilarity ensued.

A bit of a coincidence -- just how much of one I could't gauge without knowing more about the individuals involved and their work histories -- but it's Steve's masquerading as an 8 year old in his 1998 correspondence that really puts this one over the top.

You are so totally set for life, broccoli-wise!

Oh my broccoli! I laughed so freaking hard at the text msg exchange with Lisa! Can't wait for on the Broccoli town reunion ;)

So... broccoli is the gateway vegetable for stalkers?

Just curious, have you compared the sketch of the Tree Brain Bandit to Alicia's pic? Some say there are no coincidences in life.

Broccoli Town sounds magical. Only the power of such magic could produce this glorious tale.

Here is the archived version of broccoli.com from 1999
http://web.archive.org/web/19990508020534/www.broccoli.com/mainpage.htm

I swear I used to go to greengiant.com and click on the jolly green giant over and over again just to hear him say "ho ho ho!"

ooops - looks like Gary beat me to it... :(

Once again proof that the world is creepy and small. *shudders*

Man, I wished I lived in Broccoli Town.

omg that is too funny! What are the chances of that happening? You should post the pic, if you can (if it's not impolite for privacy reasons).

What no comments on Mann Packing???

"I can't believe you just ate broccoli for 3 hours with alicia"
~really funny punch line... lol

This might just be one of my favorite posts of yours. Brilliant!!

There is so much more to this story that I want to hear so you'd BETTER keep us posted

I think on our next world tour The Tree Brain's should play a free gig in Broccoli Town.

i still think broccoli is poison and i'm 29.

so there, broccoli town.

I want to live in broccoli town! Right now I'm currently living in "Let's all be pretentious jackasses and act like we're rich and far above everyone as we hand our server a coupon land" and let me tell you, I'm gonna fucking kill someone here. I think the prison system in broccoli land would be much better.

More broccoli residents:
http://bread-and-honey.blogspot.com/2008/10/wtf-broccoli.html

I love how excited everyone is about broccoli. It makes me...nah, I still want a burger.

I must know what Alicia thinks of this-- the faces of hidden spies peeking out from Cascadian Farms' frozen broccoli (http://bread-and-honey.blogspot.com/2008/10/wtf-broccoli.html). It's fascinating and frightening all at the same time.

You want weird? This evening, before reading this entry, I bought a bag of frozen broccoli florets. I haven't bought broccoli in over a year.

I want to go to Broccoli Rabe Town.

My first time here, and hooked after the first story!

Be careful Steve! Alicia will say.. 'Have this broccoli, its FREE!'. Then you're hooked and next thing you know, you lose your house to pay for broccoli!

Be careful Steve! Alicia will say.. 'Have this broccoli, its FREE!'. Then you're hooked and next thing you know, you lose your house to pay for broccoli!

I used to live in broccoli town. It was nice...much better than cauliflower town. They were a bunch of white supremacists.

One day when I was new to working in a supermarket bakery, a terrible stench wafted through the work area. I looked around, wondering who's anus this cloud of noxiousness just leaked out of.

This happened a few times before I learned that that smell coincided with the produce section getting a batch of fresh broccoli.

I forgot to mention what my above comment has to do with Broccoli Town-- Well, in Broccoli Town, you can fart with total impunity.

Broccoli Town is so much better than its evil counterpart, Okra Town.

The Broccoli Town post is exactly why I love The Sneeze. Looking forward to pics of the reunion!

So I came back to read more fabulous comments, then headed over to the AV Club where a link to the article "I vant to suck your broccoli: 23 unusual vampire variations" popped out at me.

I declare this Serendipitous Wednesday! (At least for me.) Broc on...

I can't believe you're planning a reunion with broccoli lady, yet you *still* haven't sent me any of your blood or drugs.

Priorities, Steve. You don't seem to have them.

~coming out of lurk~

oh man - broccoli town sounds much more fun than a lot of places.

Yeah Steve, better get with the program and send The Bloggess some of your blood, AND drugs, like right away. Because... because... wait, I'm thinking.. because she doesn't eat her broccoli and human blood (and drugs) are all she has to keep her alive!!! Whew, that was tough. Must be coffee time.

Is it too forward of me to tell you that I love you? In a non-stalker, non-creepy, totally platonic sort of way of course, but I do. Because of stories like this and, uhm, well practically every other story that you've ever posted.

Too awesome for words. Truly.

**I used to live in broccoli town. It was nice...much better than cauliflower town. They were a bunch of white supremacists.**

Arcsus:

My understanding is that Broccoli town and Cauliflower town were forced to merge due to budget issues. The result, of course, is Broccoflower town.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Broccoflower

Steve, this is the reason you are teh king of teh interweb!

Fantastic story there, Stevesie (I of course will blindly assume that it is perfectly alright if I call you Stevesie).

My only question is why Alicia only THINKS that she remembers you; I mean, how many other folks could she possibly be confusing you with?

Perhaps, however, I'm simply underestimating the amount of broccoli inquiries sent on a yearly basis. The poor woman may have been inundated with Broccoli Town questions for all I know...

i actually stumbled across thesneeze in a very similar fashion about four years ago

How does all this freaky stuff happen to you?? Is it just a coincidence that you have a blog that you need to come up with stories for, and these weird blog-worthy things keep happening to you?

When I worked at a gradeschool, we had a net nanny program that would block dangerous websites and send a message to us computer geeks if someone went to a naughty site. We would go running to the computer that triggered the alert so we could humiliate, tattle to parents, and/or crush the adventurous spirit of the little darling.

The music teacher there had frequent need of computer help and boredom relief. His epic level of laziness prevented him from actually calling us, though, so he would type in random sites in an attempt to trigger the blocking software. My favorite was when we were alerted that someone was using his computer to access www.midgetporn.com.

It was, of course, blocked. We laughed about it and I forgot about it until I read your post.

Yeah, I checked.

It exists and it's exactly what you think it is.

I'm starting to wonder if his entries were really as random as they appeared...

Thank you for reminding me that it was you who introduced me to Hungrygirl.com!

I wonder if they make a broccoli wallet??

It could be friends with my bacon wallet!

A while back I typed in gary.com and all there is on the page is a picture of some dude named Gary.

i have a list of words i like (not based on their meanings, just the sound i guess) and broccoli is one of the top 5s. Both in english and spanish. Its just a nice word all around and i think broccoli town kicks ass. Im sorry Alice had to move out, its all downhill from there :(

*cough*broccolitown.com*cough*

Dear Steve,
As you may have heard Australia is currently in a state of outrage after the savage beating of an elderly flamingo
http://www.news.com.au/adelaidenow/story/0,22606,24574238-5006301,00.html

This was a horrific act of non-sequitur violence. Is non-sequitur crime an issue in the US?

Posts like these make me love The Sneeze even more than humanly possible.

Tim,
Um... speaking of non-sequiturs...

Oh Steve, I love you life.
Broccoli Town! What a killer...

too cool, this article,I MEAN

I used to type random words in google to see what kind of websites would show up. When I was tired I'd type tired. www.tired.com Tell them why!
In fact, thats exactly how I came across The Sneeze! I was doing that exact thing one day, and I sneezed. So I googled "sneeze" and happy day I came to your website.