The Bottom Sneeze 3000

The Poop Gobbler 5000!

In our dorm room - "Standard"

Pearl Harbor.

"I'll be right back. Gotta drop some bombs off at Pearl Harbor."

Let's go with the classic: Charybdis

The Dookie Snatcher

The Taming of the Poo
(a nice Shakespearean name)

The Coprophage.

George Bush

Steve

The Throne of Lost Souls

Gilligan's Isle (you know for those 3 hour 'tours').

Penelope

UnkoIkken Plus!

Splash Mountain

The Holy Grail

The real question is did you get custom lid installed on your "Carrollton"? if so, that could make all the difference in the world when it comes to a suitable name

Steve Dont Eat It Factory

Heavenly Gate

Perhaps the Smelltron 2.5

my vote goes for "standard"

here's my suggestion.

Steve, don't eat it! disposal unit.

Cheek Muncher

Arserenity

Well, it has "skirted styling" or as i like to say, "Kilted styling", so it really needs a Scottish name, cause as we all know, "if it's not Scottish, it's CRAP!"

Steve Did Eat It Deposit

Oops I Did It Again

Margarett

Lolo

Nina Haagen Dazs of The Chocolate Flavor

Sneeze Bowl

The Super Bowl

Unportable Potty

Processed Tree Brain Depository

The Eaten Food Memorial

-

GUS

I suggest you call the thing "Toilet." But you could Frenchify it to make it sound all haute. Or you could just go phonetic and call it Twah-let.

Here's a link to a website that analyzes the meaning of names. Here is their analysis of the name "Toilet."

http://www.kabalarians.com/male/toilet.htm

ooh ooh! or you could call it the McCrapper, keeping it in line with the Scottish theme from above.

outstanding Justin....simply outstanding

I choose my name from that timeless song, "Convoy"

Kenworth Hauling Logs

The Olympian. Go for the gold!

The Brownie Bucket

if anyone would like to take a look, here's a link to what i can only assume is Steve's toilet:

http://www.kitchenandpantry.com//Product.asp?ItemID=10315

Would "The Velvet Revolver" be copyright or trademark infringement?

Just thinking about my toilet being called "The Velvet Revolver" brings a tear to my eye and bile to my throat.... but maybe it's just me...

Also, I submit the name "Arizona" for you.

My mom always says, when the dogs are let out to poo, that they are going to "Dumpsville, Arizona"

You could just call it " Number 2"

How about:

"The Royal Flush"?

"Up shit creek" or would it be
"Down shit creek"?

"Shit Ta"

"plop, plop"

Diablo Cody

I submit for your approval: "Unicornicopia." It's whimsical and makes me think of Thanksgiving (which, in turn, makes me poop).

Thought of a few others:

"The Throne" - used quite often, but when I have to go, I often announce to others that I have to go rule my universe. And I often talk about how, when I finally get my own house, I'm going to decorate the bathroom in red and gold as if it were a throne room.

"Thomas" - in honor of Thomas Crapper, inventor of the toilet as we know it today.

"Xanadu" after that mansion in Citizen Kane. Or in Coleridge's poem... "in Xanadu did Kubla Khan a stately pleasure-dome decree."

"X-13D" after that crap 'cheeseburger' flavor that Doritos introduced.

"Hollywood" - ever see that episode of Family Guy? 'So this is where all the sewage ends up'

Lou

The Log Sort

ok, I laughed out loud at "cheek muncher", and I also loved "Arserenity", and I liked "Smelltron 2.5".

But I have one of my own. When I read the arcticle that lead to the naming of your toilet, the writer said the "shit lagoon". I can't say I love that, but it reminded me of a spitoon.

I hereby offer "the shitoon".

The Event Horizon

Big Hungry Joe

Lord Shattington

"The Event Horizon"

I laughed out loud at that.

Yes, "The Event Horizon" is good. I also giggled heavily at "The Throne of Lost Souls"

The Cave of Wonders

I like "Steve, Don't Eat It!" the best so far.

Loretta

The Odyssey

Catch 22

Kafka On The Shore

Candy Mountain

ok so most of this just came from my book shelf

Destructo-Bot 9000: Ninja Slayer

Bookshelf or not, I kinda like "Loretta."

i almost pooped when i read Lord Shattington

all i know is that one of the best pieces of vandalism i ever saw was the toilet at summer camp, where someone had stolen a sticker from elsewhere, and placed it on the inside lid of the toilet. the sticker read "We Recycle"

also... when i was in italy, there were these minature construction vehicles to carry waste around called "dumpy 500." that was one of the best moments of my childhood.

"Le Chuck"

I'll have to second "The Shitoon"!

The Disemboweler

"Amber Waves"

The Ol' Gerbil Pond

This would really sound better as the title of the bathroom itself, but how about "The Cave of a Thousand Asses?"

The Pensive

Toilets should have anthropomorphic scholarly names.

Professor Dumpledore

Doctor Doo-Doo-little

For our neighbors to the south:

Senor Burrito-completo

Gambino & Sons' Lie Detector & Water-Boarding Device

The Kiddie Pool.

So you can say "Yea I'll be right there. I just have to drop the kids off at the pool first."

Well my wife and i call it "the pool" as in

"Well honey, i gotta go drop some kids off at the pool!"

If "the pool" doesn't strike your fancy, you may also consider naming it "The Casbah" When dropping the kids off at the pool doesn't sound right, we say "I'm off to rock the casbah" or "holy hell, i need to rock the casbah!"

DAMMIT CHRINEY! You beat me by one minute! Well -F- i still recommend "The Casbah"

Sly & The Family Stone!

It could even have a sweet funky theme song.

If the joke's not clear, the family stone is a family dump.

"The God Phone" -- for those post-drinking binge moments.

"Dunedoo" -- A real place in Australia. Pronouced Dun-e-do, not dune-do. Honest.

"The Crapper" -- Traditional.

"The Blumpkinator" -- Um, look it up on somewhere like urban dictionary. Or not. Best not.

The Bulimic's Best Friend - aka - The Confidant

The "Shitoon" is good, but I'm guessing it's probably not acceptable as an official name, since there are small children in Steve's house. Since I also have small children in my house, I will only be able to call mine that privately :-(

I also like Professor Dumpledore

Here are a couple site-based ideas:
- The Turdy Station
- Steve Ate It

And a couple of ideas based on the toilet manufacturer (Toto):
- Auntie BM
- Poo-sanna (just think "All I wanna do when I wake up in the morning is hold you tight")
- Assfrica (just say it out loud a few times... it's nice)

Cuitlacoche (kweet-lah-KOH-chay)

Just say it out loud. "Honey, where's the paper? I need to go to the Cuitlacoche." It has a nice ring. Only Tree Brainers and whoever eats that stuff will know what it really is. And really, who's going to know the difference?

(for reference http://www.thesneeze.com/mt-archives/000344.php)

The Felcher

"The Dream Catcher"

How bout:
"The Moan Throne"
"Squeeze and Please"
"Whammy Ka-blammy"

I'm not sure if someone earlier was trying to recommend the name or if they were signing their comment. Regardless I would like to put a vote in for "Gus."

It's simple and quick to say. I like it.

I second "Perhaps the Smelltron 2.5"

My vote is now for "Gambino & Sons' Lie Detector & Water-Boarding Device"

Also,

William Shatner.

end of competition.

Chorizo Machine

These are great suggestions, I like the Shitoon but you'd then have to explain it to the kids.

If you lived in Dallas the Texas Poop Depository would fit.

On a related note my wife and I refer to pooping while at work as "Cashing The Brown Paycheck".

My suggestion: Deep Blue.

My favorite from above: The Confidant.

Also, "The Hiding Place".

The Hot Seat.

William Shatner- that's brilliant! Or should I say, "ass"tounding!

My vote's for Gus, especially if its short (as it is in a certain disney film), for Octavian

"The dream catcher" is by far my favorite.

I was going to suggest Hillary, in keeping with Kohler's female name theme, but I don't know your political affiliations ;) The Shatner and The Confidant are the frontrunners, imo, or perhaps St. Steven's Cathedral, as in praying on the porcelain alter.

The Butt Brain

or

Steve, don't crap it!

...The "Plug-Chugger"
...The porcelain seat of contemplation...
...I like plug-chugger ; it's got ZAZZ!

Thought of two more on the way home --

"Hello SCATty" -- Think cute jap cat, eating poo. Alternative could be "Hello Shitty", perhaps. The idea is to cute it up, and the Japanese are well into odd things.

"Mr Hanky's House" -- Nod to South Park.

Assfrica made me lol

I also believe it would be extremely satisfying to take a shit on "Fergie"

I like Lord Shattington, and William Shatner ... yeah, that's good - must be where the captain's log goes?

Here are some quick entries:

The Log Ride
Shangri-Log
Poolympus
Turdvana
Lunch Heaven
New Jersey

Man, I'm so glad my education hasn't gone to waste!

I'm too tired to be creative right now, but I gotta vote for "shitoon" and especially "Mr. Hanky's House".

Gentle Geyser Viewpoint

Weeee! (for the kids)

Or Gus, or Bottom Sneeze 3000

"Streamweaver"

How about "The Cold Throne", "Turtle-head Lake", "Library Chair 2.8", "Liquid Sunshine", "The Harington" (After the inventor John Harington.

So many great suggestions thus far. I can't pick just one.

My vote goes to "The Event Horizon".

My vote goes to "The Confidant". Not only does it work for bulimics, but it also works for keeping those unpleasant smells anonymous.

Stevie's meadow muffin tray
Meadow muffin is a slang term for poop xD
P.S.
yes that is my real first name

The most voted for names are as follows:

Shitoon - 4

Gus - 3

Event Horizon - 3

William Shatner - 2

Smelltron 2.5 - 2

(as a side note, i didn't include the original post.)

Also, i was inspired by Hannah to come up with....

The Hot Gate

SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!1!!1!!!!!!1!!!1!!!!

The Dook Chute

I like Gus

I like "Le Chuck", but it's only funny if you are a Monkey Island fan.

Some of my ideas...

Outbox

To Be Filed

Download Queue

Printer Spooler

Vista

The "Other" Recliner

Doggie Mug

Goldfish Graveyard

Cheek Squeezer

Mini Jacuzzi

Your Mom

Oh Shit Falls

The Swamp - As in "I'm just going to drop Yoda off at the swamp."

I love, love, love The Eaten Food Memorial. And Xanadu (especially with that Coleridge quote, which you could have framed on the wall.)

The Crapperjack

(I'm sure there are plenty of "what prize did ya get?")

Home of the Whopper

hmmm there is alot of comments... and i have slight suspicions that my post will be skimmed over, unnoticed, but on with the naming... how bout... Tomb of AssKebobs has a nice egyptioan yet comical feel to it me thinks.

"Broken-hearted"
as in:

Here I sit,
Broken hearted.
Tried to sh!t,
But only farted.

Failed marriage.

I think I want to stick with the whole elegance that the company is going for, so my suggestion would be: "Moonlight Escapade"

I like "Gambino & Sons' Lie Detector & Water-Boarding Device." It's topical. It's thought provoking. It's an absurdly long name for the shit can.

OK Love the Shatner

but here are a few for you...
Thermopolye ( the greek name of the Hot Gates from the Spartan refrence...you could even make a sign based on the stone plaque placed there "Stranger, Go tell the Spartans that here we 300 sat , and with spartan law did our doodie")

Man with the Horse (going to see a man about a horse ref.)

Bloodrayne:The Movie ( Just because it was truly a pile of shit)

Sweet relief

The Final Frontier (but you could only call that right before you christen it...because haveing read wht you eat you will boldly go where no man has gone before)

Dr Pooper (must know what dr peeper was originally for to get that one)

and finally:

a modifier to an earlier post
William Shatner should be shortened to The Shatner but pronounced Shat....(exstended over actted grunt)....nerrrrrrrrrrrrr ( the r is pronounced in pronounced relief)

Though there are a lot of great names up there, "Big Hungry Joe" Amused me the most...though maybe it should be "Big Hungry John"?

For the Trek fans - "Food Replicator-Tron 5000: Feedstock Input Port"

Big Hungry Joe made me laugh the most, and gets my vote.

You gotta love a crapper that would look forward to its job.

Judge Fudge

The Masturbatorium

Weight Watchers

Auschwitz

The White House

(and for the kids) Tinkle Town

I love William Shatner!

A few more:

Brown Eyed Swirl

Stinky McDoodie

Dreamcatcher

Tony Stewart

The Drowning Pool
Stainless pot

The shitty throne

Cack Casket

As always, I cannot be original and turn to Futurama for inspiration: Sgt. Feces Processor

Big Bertha.

The Urinator makes me lol, too.

Hahaha...okay, my favorites are definitely:

Lord Shattington
Shitoon
The Crapperjack

(in that order).

The Dirty Sanchez

Dunny-On-The-World

My two year-old recently began calling the big-person potty "the poop ledge", and everyone else followed suit. I mean... c'mon! It's fucking perfect! "Gotta to sit on the poop ledge...".

The Stargate

The Crusader, or Pegasus (as it's a porcelain pony)

Le Poodoir?

Shitty Hall?

Big Gulp?

Anyhow I vote for "The Shatner"

"The Crosby Cradle"

"The Stoole Stool"

In relation to my previous comment:

"I've just got to dop the Crosby kids off at the pool!"

My vote is for "The Event Horizon" - since that's the whole point - you don't want whatever is in there to EVER come back!

For those not in the know about black holes - the event horizon is the point of no return as you approach a black hole. Once you cross it, you cannot get back out.

Perhaps that suggests another name idea:

"The Black Hole"

Bahahaha, i like Jesse's "The taming of the poo".

I like "big hungry joe" and the "poop ledge".

I would like to nominate "Steve's Stink Pot". After all, a throne should be named for his master.

All of the toilets in my house have "Church" on the seat. This has always amused me since it is the only "church" I attend regularly.

I liked Assfrica and Arserenity. And Poop Ledge.

"The Shatner" is great. But not William Shatner.

Sticking with the French theme:

Rendezvous

or perhaps

Deja Vu...

Big Bertha

How about "The Thunderdome"?

The Shatner.

The Stool Stool.

The Stool Pool.

The Shiitake-r!

or possibly Shiitake soup bowl. (so literal)

Soylent brown

Commode-or Perry

Skip-to-my loo

Heh heh... we have a urinal at school called the Manfield...

But I digress.

Name: The Vertical Excrement Receptacle Unit.

As opposed to... horizontal, I guess? Work that out on your own time...

(Personally, I like The Event Horizon.)

"Château Verdaflore"

Blumpkin Patch

Otherwise I liked McCrapper

The Fartress of Solipoo

Ernst Stavro Blowarse,

perhaps the "Linkletter."

The Confessional... it is a spiritual place afterall.

"The Face"

Revised!: The Fartress of Solidpoo

The Bleak Bog
(marked by wet and windy conditions)

Where Hippos Go To Die

The Poopal Throne

The Colon-izer

The Indoor Poo.

"Senator."

Okay - I have read thru and these are the best ones in my opionion:

Splash Mountain
Smelltron 2.5
Arserenity
Sneeze Bowl
The Olympian
The Royal Flush
The Shitoon
Senor Burrito-Completo
"Squeeze and Please"
Poolympus
The Crapperjack

....and OMG - dying laughing over New Jersey!!! HAHAHA!!!

I also love "The Event Horizon" and "The Dream-Catcher."

Since it is manufactured by TOTO, I would submit that it should be called "STYX" with the tag line, "Styx, . . .unleash your own river of HELL!"

Fort Clog.

Favourite Faeces Honour Manoeuvre

Amber
Heinrich de Turd
Ab Roller
Primrose Schindler
Lord Bungfish McMurtry
The Squeeze Box
Fillmore Fecalford

Brittney Spears

Nuff Said

Wait no.....

Lindsey Lohan and Paris Hilton would work tooo

I think the top three choices here so far are:

"Turtle-head Lake" how did everyone else miss this?!

"Judge Fudge" the best rhyming option

and "poop ledge" You gotta love children

Nope I was right

Britney Spears

Nuff Said

The oval office.

I didn't read everyone's submissions so I'm sorry if I double post.

Maybe...

The Tsunami Swirl

Urination Station

The Glory Hole

I like:

unportable potty
Casbah
Shitoon

Did anyone mention John? In the spirit of Frenchification it could be Jacques.

Also how about Cup, as in "two girls and a . . .?"

The Poop Ledge - haha! Brilliant. My ha'penniworth...

The Fall

Miss Midden

Bums Away!

Flushing Meadows

Reflectively Urcine

Summer Breeze

Brutal 850-pound bear rape

Senor Craphonso.

As in "I'm going to have a few words with Senor Craphonso..." or "I shall make Senor Craphonso pay!!!!"

As a matter of fact, I might name my OWN toilet that....

Wait its made by Toto? Ok let me list some song titles by the band Toto

Africa (already Ref.ed)
Baba Mnumzane
Better World Parts I and II
Bottom of your Soul
Burn Down The Mission ( considering what Steve Eats LOL)
Can't Stand It Any Longer
Carmen
Couls This Be Love
Don't Stop Me Now
Dying On My Feet
Endless ( We have all had those sessions)
Falling in Between
Geargey Progy (Bwahahahaha)
Goin' Home
Goodbye Elenore
High Price of Hate
Hold The Line
Home of the Brave
Hooked
Hydra
I think I could Stand You Forever
I won't Hold You Back
I'll Be Over You
I'll Supply The Love
Isolation
It's A Feeling
King Of The World
Let It Go
Maiden Voyage/Butterfly
Manuela Run
Mindfields
Mrs. Johnson
Mushanga
No End In Sight
On the Run
Right Part Of Me
Rockmaker
Simplelife
Slipped Away (for when you dont quite make it)
St. George and the Dragon
Stay Away
Taint Your World
Takin' it Back
Til the End
We Made It

I think we got the Playlist for when the Tree Brains theoretically Play the Opening of the New Toilet right before it is CHristened By Steve

'Aryan Superqueer.'

This is a band-name contest, right? No? Oh.

Um. The toilet. Uh.

I'll stick with 'Aryan Superqueer'.

Shatner is classic...
I like DeVille or Towncar though. Sounds luxurious.
And how about Super Bowl? As in, "I have to drop the Browns off at the Super Bowl."

Mr. Poodumpski

up sorry its
Georgy Porgy not Geargy

I vote for William Shatner. Elegant in its entendre.

I like Shatner myself. Or perhaps The Rear Sneeze?

The Bakery- it's where you go to pinch a loaf.

Otto

Tina

The Stool - works on several levels.

William Shatner is my favorite

I'd like to cast my vote for William Shatner. I can really see that used in context.

"The Log Flume"

mystic river

Danny Thomas's Coffee Table or simply the Danny Thomas.

The Great White Canyon*

*Named by action figure explorers of potty national park.

How about something German to fit the "schiezer" aspect:

Das Poop

First, let me say it's threads like these that remind me why I love The Sneeze.

My faves:

The Crapperjack
Kenworth Hauling Logs

Around here we have:

The Dog's Water Bowl
The Tick Morgue
The Brown Swimming Hole
Dad's Lounge

How bout we call it brad pitt, as in, im gona go take a dump in brad pitt.

or New Jersey.

Thunderhole

"Bob"

just "Bob"

Sweet Repose

Banque

It's French for bank. As in making a deposit.

I bought my toilet bowl at Ikea, it's called "Ånus"..

Hurricane Latrina

We used to say "gotta go take a Bill" which came from "gotta take a shat" from the obvious Billy Shatner, so that gets my number one vote, although in the interest of classiness perhaps William Shatner, Esq. or something. Also, Lord Shattington and Pearl Harbor.

"the event horizon" is perfect:
from Wikpedia: "In general relativity, an event horizon is a boundary in spacetime, an area surrounding a black hole, beyond which events cannot affect an outside observer. Light emitted from inside the horizon can never reach the observer, and anything that passes through the horizon from the observer's side is never seen again."

I think I need to hear audio of the official flush before I can come up with any new ideas.

The shatner is shattastic.
so is the rear sneeze...
Perhaps The Shatner rear sneeze? or is that going too far?

SHITHAMMER FROM VALHALLA.

Fuckin' epic, right?

The Border- as in better make a run for.

Fresh downloads on to Steve's "i-pot"

(Not STEVE JOB'S ipot.. though watch out for next year's model being thinner and lighter than ever.)

I like "The Poop Ledge"

Cleaveland steamer express? Evokes a train, cause you know it slides sown the drain like a silent choo choo train.......

I LOVE Hurricaine Latrina

The Spackler.

Charles.

The Joe Bucket

Kevin

I like:
Senor Burrito-completo
Lord Shattington
William Shatner or The Shatner

You could take a page from Greenpeace:
http://www.boingboing.net/2007/11/26/mr-splashy-pants-in.html
Mr. Splashy Pants

I vote for Xanadu, Lord Shattington, and Deep Blue although it looks like it's going to be William Shatner by a landslide.

My grandmother used to refer to her chamber pot as the "THUNDER MUG."

I think "thunder mug" has genuine old-time-elegance, n'est-ce pas?

I would also proffer: "The Executive"

My favorites previously submitted are:

"The Pensive"

"The Shatner"

The "Turd Hearse"

The "Down & Outhouse"

"Starbucks"

Vote for Shatoon and Ft. Clog

http://www.flickr.com/photos/whatwhat/91374586/

Ok I've got a few here.

1. The Foundation
- Mr.Show once referred to shit as "foundation" and it stuck with me as an original poop word. Also, you could say that you are making a donation to The Foundation. It's classy, but whimsical in the way it rhymes.

2. Champion Lotecki, Supernatural Being
- Just a fantastic name for anything really. I believe I first heard it as the name of a dog that won the big annual dog show.

3. Mr. Brownstone

4. The Misadventures of Professor Oliver Orion Prescott, in the 22nd Century
- as in, "My dear, I'm off to continue 'The Misadventures of Professor Oliver Orion Prescott, in the 22nd Century'.

enjoy

Pronounced: Shuh-Tead

Spelled: Shithead

the Abyss

or

Hippo Trap 3000

OK.. Here is the winner:

Ashton Kutcher

Iknow, I know, pure brilliance!

Bohemian Crapsody

The Commodore.

You're welcome.

For the wooden seat, I'd like to offer "Bran Mountain."

For your colored plastic seat - one of those nice puffy ones with an embroidered butterfly on it - "Golden streams."

And I'd like to vote for "Gus."

The Oval Office! = best name suggested so far.

I like "Perhaps the Smelltron 2.5" (the whole phrase), as well as "Cheekmuncher," "Unicornucopia," and "Shittoon," although you might want to name it something your son is allowed to say, so I'm going to suggest "Poop Poop Poopy Poop-Poop."

Steve carter, wouldn't that be

ass-ton catcher?

hey! hey! i cast my vote for "The Shatner" and it's official pronunciation with the added grunt!

Wow. "Bran Mountain" (bran-mountin'?) is really good, too. I missed that one.

the bile duct

Bran Mountain is awesome.

Senor Sucio Sanchez...

trans: Mr. Dirty Sanchez

My suggestion:
YouTube

My favorites so far:
Big Hungry Joe
The Shatner

ben affleck

Custer

My Favorites (in no particular order)

Lord Shattington
The Event Horizon
The Dream Catcher

Southerly Winds

"Brown County Chopper"

"Lower Decker"

I think Shatner's going to take it.

Poop Depot.

i like "shitoon" very much and also my proposed names:

the "dirty bubbler"

and "frothy minx"

Disemboweler

Casa de numero dos

Lincoln Log Cabin

Fudge Factory

Scooby Doo Doo

Peanut Gallery

Ja Rule

Deuce Bigalow

You've got kids, so I'd like to think you want a non-profane name for the toilet. Here's my suggestion: The Poo Master 5000 It's classy, yet edgy and of course, kid friendly!

"The Mirage" --
Sorry I pooped on the floor, honey! The toilet turned out to be a mirage!

Going with the Scottish theme, I thought of good old Uncle Scrooge McDuck. So how about:

Squeeze McDook

"I have to go visit my uncle, Squeeze McDooky"

The Squeeze

LOL... the Squeeze. That's funny.

Das Turd.

The prize should involve either The Tree Brains or Bacon. Or both. (Tree Bacon?)

you've gooot to name it marcel duchamp! (for those unfamiliar duchamp took a urinal, turned it upside down, signed it with a fake name (R. Mutt) and submitted it to a fine art gallery). he'd be proud to have a toilet named after him. or perhaps r mutt.

Judy the Booty Lover

Sir Thomas Crapper the XIV

Uncle Larry

Lotty Dotty (We Likes to) Potty

Hugh Jazz (not original, I know, but appropriate)

ASHanti

"Memories"

Would you pretty please have a little nameplate inscribed to attach to the toilet somwhere? That'd make it even more awesome. And they only cost like ten bucks to have a sticky nameplate engraved at a trophy shop.

My suggestion:
Nuts 'N' Chews
or
The Blowhole

I too am in the midst of a bathroom reno, well, in the midst of agreeing with my wife about what she likes in a bathroom.
The highlight of the reno and the reason I'm leaving things in her oh so capable hands is our new toilet. For some reason I laugh every time I see it and every time she mentions our Wall Hung toilet to a friend. I'm thinking of getting some sort of prosthesis to hang off the base and branding it the Well Hung toilet.

Thanks for proving me right that its not "a stupid idea" to name your toilet.

Isn't it obvious, it should be called:

Chuck Berry

I think Big Hungry Joe and New Jersey are the best so far, but if we're gonna go with the Scottish theme, there's really only one name the toilet can have...

Sean Connery

Half #1, Half #2, Half not good with fractions.

Corporate titles:

PooTube

SteakBack OutHouse

Bowl XP

The Belvedere.

"the squeeze" is a winner!

my dad calls our the "Splatter Catcher 9000" but my vote goes to the "Senator" cause just like them, the toilet will be full of shit as well.

Holy Crapper

Crap Trap

"The Queen Mother"

"Scatmandu" - A nice tribute to Bob Seger.

"Roseanna" from Toto.

How about The Moment of Truth?

"Hurricane Latrina" is very clever.

my contribution:

The Turd'n'ator 500

Gus is hilarious and gets my vote

Also a toilet named Bill Cosby would rock

BIG HUNGRY JOE!
BIG HUNGRY JOE!
If not, The squeeze is brilliant and I like Shatner as well.

The Squeeze gets my vote. pure genius.

H.R. Flushnstuf

Santa Maria

The Magellan

The Crusader

Savannah

Jackie Brown

Tarsus

The Executive Lounger.

"The Butt Hole"

Rosanna:

All I wanna do when I wake up in the morning is take a poo....Rosanna, Rosanna.

The "Trans-incontinental"

I LOLd at "Amber Waves" so I think I'll second that one.

I came across this link several years ago and, whenever the conversion turns to that that of toilet-talk, I can't help but mention the Great John. It's a toilet for "larger" people...and the website is actually pretty hilarious. Words do it no justice, though...just have a look at the satisfied couple on this page:

http://www.greatjohn.com/grjodi.html

So I vote that you bypass this "standard" toilet crap (pardon the pun) and go straight for the Great John!

OFFICIAL VOTE:

"Event Horizon"

HONOURABLE MENTION:

"Hurricane Latrina"

Dale.

nelson totally wins with new jersey.

The Log Cabin

If you're not down with the "Great John" idea, you could always just call your toilet:

The Superbowl.

(Of course, the Browns would play everytime)

My grandparents used to live in a really old farmhouse. I think it was built before indoor plumbing b/c they had a flaming toilet. Seriously. You closed the lid and the contents would burst into flames. Deal with THAT at 3 years-old.
Anyway, the name doesn't fit here, but it's actual name is too precious not to share.

The Destroylet

Crud Guzzler

"The grunt'n plop"

I like "Oval Office"

How 'bout:

Commode-O-Dragon
Judge Dooty
Cleveland
Thigh Master

Cheers

The Poop-o-Porium

The Porcelain Patsy
Bowl-O-Rama
The Cake Gobbler
Phi Beta Crappa
The Immaculate Throne of Morning Reflection
Defecate-Con 1

I wouldn't be displeased with The Shatner, either, tho. ;)

"The Event Horizon"
LOL!

"harry potty" anyone?
no?
ok, fine.

My entry: Old Yeller

My vote: Event Horizon

Honorable mention: William Shatner

where can i get an exploding firey toilet? seriously someone tell me? I don't even want to know what happened when your pets died in that house....

The Log Jam

I was watching something about a murder in Carrollton yesterday..
Anyway, Captain's Log? Credit goes to the William Shatner people.

Saboteur
Buttholster
Poorifier
Fecalator
Aquachucker
Assinerator
Bottomfeeder

That is all.

I'm just laughing because the toilet is actually named "Carrollton" because I'm related to this guy>/a>.

It's gotta be Chernobyl. But Casbah is pretty good too...

THE SQUEEZE, I mean, isn't it obvious? It sorta sounds like the sneeze so there you go, no further inquiries needed.......

"Il Dookie"

"Dookie Houser"

Something for the kids, eh...?

the "Dookie Monster"

Poo McTurd

My vote goes to Fox's name in the 5th post: Charybdis.

How about "Daddy's Twenty Minute Vacation"?

i vote shatner... but it got me thinkin

there will be poo
no poo for old men
poono
in the valley of poo
poo: the golden age
the diving poo and the butterfly

i could do this all day... or should i say poo

Tainted Love

Private Reflections

The Spud Removal Machine

In my family, we used to call the bathroom the "Poopatorium." As in, "Don't bother daddy, he's studying really hard in the Poopatorium right now."

Holy shit (no pun - really) - there are a lot of great name to choose from. My votes are:

1. The Shatner
2. Arserenity
3. McCrapper

Scat-o-lux

Gotta love dumpy 500.

-Judge Pooty
-The Wasteland

-The Sawmill - as in "Gotta go drop off some logs at the sawmill"

-The Time Machine - because time seems to stand still or sometimes you come out and it's a different day.

So I only had the stamina to read halfway through all the comments, but my favorites were

Toilet (mostly because of Justin's reflection)
The Shitoon
Pearl Harbor
Auntie BM
The Crapperjack
and New Jersey. Who can resist mocking New Jersey? Or, for that matter, taking a shit in it?

The Throne of Reason

ThinkerStinker

Bessy

Concentrated Evil Eliminator

Mitch Hedberg mentioned "Catch 22" but I think "Catch #2" would be appropriate. I LOVE Hurricane Latrina!

...a variation on "the Shatner"...

simply "William Shatner", with a "Beam me Down" lid.

Fire Photon Torpedoes!

The Lumbermill.

As in, "I've gotta go to work at The Lumbermill." or "It's going to be a late day. I've got to put in some overtime at The Lumbermill."

RTS - Return to Sender
"Steve Don't Flush That!"
Small Pet Disposal
Full Moon
The Goddess - worship at her feet

I also really like "Shatner" and "Event Horizon," but the Stargate also works really well.

I've always been partial to "Crapper"

the event horizon
casbah
gus
assfrica

in descending order of amazing.

ground zero

Shit Bukkit

Crap Catcher

My Suggestion: Dorothy (Dorothy and Toto just go together) The full characters name is Dorothy Gale which is good too.

Or maybe The whizzer of Oz?? (stupid I know)

My Vote: The Event Horizon (very clever)

Honerable mentions: Xanadu (haha), The squeeze, shitoon, and of course, Gus

The Shatner is funny too but I hope it doesn't win

I love Latrina... but my contribution is

The Pee Brain

I suggest: Jeremy.

"The Yellow Brick Road"

My vote goes to "The Shatner"

Runners up:
Shitoon
H.R. Flushnstuf
Assfrica

dianetics (the original container of crap)

I dont know why- But I think you should name it after a Pokemon, or a godzilla monster.

"King Ghidorah"
"Charizard"
"Gastly"
"Hedorah"

or give it a humorous name
"The Doody Honker"

or something nonsensical like
"Heat and Chaos"
"Cafe Le Chapeau"
or "The Goonies"

Well.. It's hard to name something without knowing it, I didn't name my cats for a while and just let them earn their names (they wound up being Bozo and Gravy). So what do we know about toilets? Well We know they are always there for you. Be it trouble down below at 3am or just the standard morning drop off, they're there, working around the clock 24/365.25. Like man's best friend, faithful... Loyal..

So here are some names that mean faithful/loyal or some synonym thereof.

Truman - Loyal Man
Taka - Dutiful
Enoch - Devoted; Dedicated

Another is Tua which means Behind. Which works on so many levels.

No matter what you choose to name your new pal I'm sure the relationship between man and seat will be a strong one.

"The Porcelain Express"

finding nemo, anyone?

Assfrica is a winner. I also propose:
Crapcruncher
Poo de toilette
Doodet (pronounced like bidet)
Duke of Dooks

Assfrica - classic

Catcher of the Rye?

Ps This shit is FUNNY.

A few more:

Whizzkid
Urine Luck
Poops of Hazard
Dookies of Hazard
Dook of Hurl
Stank McCloggsalott
One Oppapoo-nity (ala Eminem)
2 poos in a cup
Dawson's Crack

The "Kaplunker"

"Plumber's Nightmare"

Not only because you will be using it, but because your son has a tendency to flush other things down.

I suggest "Poop Deck"

You can adopt pirate speak just before and after you go. Maybe even holler "Shiver me timbers!" during, if it's a moving moment.

das Führer

"The Enameled Shit Throat"

I am duty-bound to think up at least one, but I don't think I can outdo Shatner. HR Flush'n Stuff is also hilarious!

The Inbox.

Dolly Farton

Cleveland Steamer

The Excremate

My boyfriend and I thought it over and we've got:

The Ring of Fire
The RoseBowl
The Porcelain Pissant
Turdtastic
The Colostomizer
Margaret Barebottom
iCrap
Burrito Graveyard
Fecal Fountain
Shitstain Springs
Corn Carousel
The Park-and-Go
The Tax Refund

more when we think of them

My favorite so far: Lord Shattington

"Big Mac"

Works with the scottish theme, as well as what will inevitably send you running there. Also, notice the initials.... Coincidence?

Turd Cutter Gutter

Porcelain Paris Island

How 'bout

bLOG Site
Oval Office

Feces Facilitator

If those don't gain support, I'd throw my vote in for Hurricane Latrina,

William Shatner would be my second vote. If someone came over to use the 'john' you could say you didn't have one, but the "Bill" is down the hall second door on the right!

Jon

The Turd Goblin

The Poop Burglar

Captain Crapper

then when you flush you say, "take it away, captain!" and you can salute if you so desire.

you know,
it's just you and the cap'n makin it happen.

Let's go with a manly theme, like cars.

How about the BMW S-Class.?

That stands for Bowel Movement Washer. I think the S is self-explanatory.

The Forget Me Not

or

Gentle Caress

"Ass-ton Catcher" - A variation of Ashton Kutcher, whose acting ability is in the toilet...

whoever wrote Diablo Cody, that's pretty good

However my suggestion is: Mike Holmgren

Lord Xenu

or Turd Ferguson, that's a good name for a toilet.

"Dirty Harry" or "Dirty Hairy"

"the pearly throne of justice"

instead of the classic "John" maybe "Jean-Claude" or "Jean-Pierre"

and of course you could go with the always hilarious "your mom" or "your face" -"i have to go take a poo on your mom", "i've been sitting on your face all morning"

pudding cup

log ride

poop shoot

assplasher

cold comfort

shooting range (or shitting range if you will)

target practice

Crespo

Unicornicopia and the dream catcher are my favorites.

I dont have any ideas at all but id like to share that when my friends and i need to take a shit we usually say " imma gonna take out the trash"
speaking of shit LOLOL

"The Brick Catcher" could be a nice one..
like shitting bricks lawlawl

The "Pasta Factory"

I've always called all my toilets by the same name:

Trigger.

And I'm serious about my toilet. I can only "eliminate" properly into "home waters" so to speak.

Strange toilets make me nervous for some reason.

Kenny Logg-ins.

The Altar.

see the wiki definition ... strangely appropriate.

"An altar is any structure upon which sacrifices or other offerings are offered for religious purposes, or some other sacred place where ceremonies take place."

By proxy the bathroom as a whole can become The Temple.

The Beefeater
The Eliminator
Montezuma

The Event Horizon, Xanadu, Mount Olympus, or Valhalla are my votes... in that order. It totally need an extravagant name.

I had to collect a poop sample form my dog for the vet, only they insisted on calling it a sequel.

Number 2 The Sequel

The Throne of Lost Souls
Splash Mountain
Loretta
Gus
the shitoon

My top five.

My favorites so far are McCrapper, Shatner, and Event Horizon.

I humbly submit:
"The Blue Track Vortex"

and

"The Optometrist" (who examines your brown eye...)

The Squeeze--"Half number one, Half number two, Half not good with fractions"

Can't go past it really

I don't think this one has been mentioned yet, but for all the gamers out there, how about..

Princess Turdstool

The Infected Corn Palace

Lethargy.

I like combining William Shatner with Rear Sneeze as Xiledsavior said, but it should Shatner's Rear Sneeze, or Shatner's Bottom Sneeze.

I also like Poop Deck or Poop Ledge.

The grand poobah.

BTW I like The Event Horizon, The Confidant, Dream Catcher, The Pensieve and The Squeeze.

Didn't your kids flush some animals down the toilet once? Maybe you should call it The Zoo. But that might encourage them to put more animals into it.

Dr. Fill

I haven't seen this one yet, but have always been fond of "The Turd Tank". Simplicity at it's finest!

The Amy Winehouse Habitat

BWAH HA HA to "Kenworth Hauling Logs" - I loved that song as a kid.

My submissions:

"Stinky Pete" - which your kids might appreciate it if they're "Toy Story" fans

"Mr. Hanky's Home" for South Park fans

"Grandmaster Flush" for rap lovers

Or maybe "Lord of the Rings"

Crapoir

Although my faves from above are:
Gambino & Sons' Lie Detector & Water-Boarding Device
Lord Shattington
Hurricane Latrina
Professor Dumpledore
Brownie Bucket
Pearl Harbor
Shittoon

I really have to give props to The Squeeze on this. i mean really....that's fantastic. I would also like to submit " The Mad Crapper" in honor of some kid at Boy Scout camp who used to take dumps at random places ( eg. the base of the flag pole, or home plate at the baseball field) in the middle of the night so we would all have nice big steamy suprises the next morning. My Favs thus far: The Squeeze, Lord Shattington, The Shanter, McCrapper, and my own The Mad Crapper

excuse me, The Shatner, sorry

Oh and also, for all those Homestar fans out there
"The Poopsmith"

"the office"
as in, "Honey, I'll be back in a bit, I just need to go to the office"

Here's a few gems...

Two words: "The Duece"
(Classy yet somehow offensive at the same time. It's perfect.)

-Skid Row

-Steve, Definitley Don't Eat This

How about Epsilon (one of the rings of Uranus) no really!
http://solarsystem.nasa.gov/planets/profile.cfm?Object=Uranus&Display=Rings

Rumpkiss

Manscent

Taco Bowl
The Shitake
The Shitake Mushbowl
Lake Sneeze
Sneeze Creek
The Loch-Shit Monster
Lake Baby Ruth
New Jersey
The Loaf Pit
Lake Minipoopah
The Slop Pot
My Sweet Shit Bucket
Putridity
P. Dootie
Turditude
The Turdinator
Shitquairium
Le Tank Du Shit
Crapalodian
The CrapMaster
Bowel Bowl
The Super Bowel
Crap Diddly Doo
Poo Poo McGoo
Piss Poo McGoo
Why me?
Swallow Me Filth
Shit Me Baby!
Shit Me Baby One Time
The Pooper Bowl
**************

The Great Sneeze could settle for no lesser water closet than:

TOTO: the great porcelian god, to whom you must bow in prayer after those "delicious" culinary events.

or some abbreviation thereof, after all that is a bit of a mouthful, in my time I have had John The Great Porcelian God, and 3 incarnations of The Prophet Brent.

The Gorgeous Gurgler

I could never top some of these. My votes go for "The Event Horizon" (I'm still giggling over that one) and "The Shitoon".

The Ring of Fire
or
The Poop Coop

i fully support unicornicopia. it has very little to do with toilets, but it just sounds so regal!

"mount crapatoa" or perhaps "sir smelly mouth" but i would go with a classic.....remember full metal jacket? the best half of a movie ever made? i'd go with that and name it charlene!

My votes:

1. Gus
2. Shatner
3. the Squeeze

if u do name it charlene btw u could always say..."hey baby i'm going to sit on charlenes' face for a while,tivo this for me! lol

Gadzooks

Butt Sneeze!

Mr. Splashy

The Swallow

How about :
Crap Monger 3000
Bibbity Bobbity Poo
Bowel Bowl
The Evacutrex
The Trudy Bowl

Jet Propulsion Lavatory

The McWhiffaport

Turd Ferguson

Prairie Dog Creek

BTW "Event Horizon" is so totally funny.

bowelwulf

My favorite is definitely Dream Catcher. I also really like the Shatner. I also really like all of you guys. This has made my day.

And just to throw it out there, Smashing Poopkins.

Sir Shitselot.

Pronounced like "Sir Lancelot"

i vote for "shatner," "the shitoon," or "charybdis."

but there also could be a good, strong, ship's name, like "the defiant" or "dauntless."

i would also like to share that in cajun creole, what it's called has to do with what you're doing... it's called both the "PISSOIR" and the "SHITTOIR." i mean, that's brillliant.

my votes:

1. The DREAMCATCHER
2. The EVENT HORIZON

My vote would go towards "Hurricane Latrina" ..

I think you should call it the "Sir Elton John."

But that may just because the local radio station that they stream through my office won't stop playing "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me," and the part where George Michael says "LADIEZ AND GENTLEMEN, SIR ELTON JOHN" absolutely destroys me.

Other than that, I'm a big fan of "The Confidant" and "The Shatner."

"The Shatner" all the way! That comment about making a captain's log was hilarious. Coming up with a name for the toilet is important, but when you already have an awesome line for the act to go with it, you've got a double shot of excellence. One might even say, "Number two with a bullet!" (with apologies to Alf)

- The Bakery
(for all the loaves you feel compelled to pinch off inside of it).

The "Crap in Me".

Ok, all this is great. But the real question is who here is man enough to get a Washlet? Seriously. www.cleanishappy.com You won't regret it.

Booster McCracken

The Ganges

Shite Park

If you haven't already found the perfect toilet seat may I suggest the little number?

http://www.thecamoshop.com/mooakcatose.html

Just think of the possibilities for toilet paper!

The Shatner is awesome!

I am partial to Chowder.

my contribution:

Sterculius (Roman god of feces, Beavis and Butthead? Anyone?)

Singularity (nod to event horizon and Black Hole)

iPood

I like from above:

Shittoon
Charybdis

The Porcelain God

(Cos after drinking too much one can pray to this)

Cheers
Robyn

how about "the bakery"? in high school my cross country coach told us to "pinch a loaf" before the race, so "the bakery" just seemed appropriate.

also, one time my buddy took an extra long time and our coach told him he said pinch a loaf not bake the bread ahhaha

At work we just call it "The Boss", as in "I'm gonna go have a talk with 'The Boss'."

The Poo Lagoon
Like blue lagoon

Or to go with the scotch thing

Mccrapshanks

Princess

Paris Lohan

the Pot-a-nator

Ralph!

after all, isn't that what you call it whenever you actually speak to it?

I looked here because I was amazed there were over 400 comments for naming a freakin' toilet. So I suggest "Britney" in honor of the similar excessive paparazzi attention.

Susan way down there is confused on the origin of the shortened name "Ralph" for puking.... it's "Calling Ralph on the big white telephone"... which doesn't necessarily imply that "Ralph" is the TOILET'S name...

But I digress...

I'd suggest perhaps The Dump Truck... or Francis Ford Crappola.

While growing up, my eldest brother always referred to the toilet as "The Brain". Looking back, I now think it must have been an obscure reference to "The Head". "I have to hit The Brain."

The Poo Lagoon

I fell head over heals for the name "Moon Dancer" after seeing a toilet seat named that.

Being from Pittsburgh, I like the idea of "Brown's Stadium"

The Librarian

For the movie goers: Flush Gordon
for golfers: Pepple Beach
for bankers: the Shyte Depository

I'm gonn stay up all night until I get one that I'm satisfied with.

i go for loretta, its classy, its comfy, but in a trailer park kinda sense. loretta is strong enough to take your shit.

After I took a cruise I began refering to #2 as dropping anchor but I can't think of any good names to go with it. Perhaps the Torpedo Tube? "I have to man the Torpedo. Fire number 2!"

Of the above, Charybdis is the best -- and I highly recommend The Odysey for bathroom reading. The Shatner is also good.

Dr. Poopenstein

"The whirlwind bollock muncher"