August 09, 2007

Part of a Well-Balanced Road Trip

It's a question we all ask ourselves at one point or another.

If you were driving cross-country, and were forced to bring a breakfast cereal mascot - who would it be?

I think I'd take Cap'n Crunch. He has a lot going for him.


- Excellent navigator
- Great war stories
- Things would not get soggy.

There are a few other decent choices, but many more terrible ones...


Tony the Tiger - Bad idea. Irritatingly upbeat and loud.

Likely dialogue:

"This interstate is GRRREAT! Look at that corn field! It's GREEAT! You have cupholders?? THEY'RE GRRREAT! You're pulling over?! GRREAT!"

"Get out."

"GRRREAT!"


Snap, Krackle & Pop - I am not buying and installing 3 car seats.


Sonny - Mentally unstable. Might peck out your eyes while you sleep. If he's on his meds, I'll consider it.


Trix Rabbit - Too needy.


Lucky the Leprechaun - I'm into the potential wishes, but getting accused of taking his Lucky Charms every 10 miles would get old fast.


Sugar Bear - Mellow. Cool. Overall, not a terrible choice.
Cons: Might sleep a lot and not chip in for gas.
Pros: Smooth with the ladies. Could get you laid.


Count Chocula - Maybe. I don't trust him. But we'd make great time because he'd drive through the night.


Frankenberry - I like him, but I can't ignore the cons.
-Wouldn't fit in my car.
-Kind of a pussy.
-Smells like strawberries and sweat.


Booberry - Not a bad choice. Might be a downer, but you could find out how he died and how his bow tie stays up.


Toucan Sam - Three words: Bird shit everywhere.

Click here for The Sneeze Home Page!
Posted by Steven | Archive
ar.$skin.$extension); ?>