As if AIDS and tsunamis weren't enough, along comes this bottle of iced tea.

From the Ito En company, the label features one of their Haiku award winners:

Where's the good ol' haiku 5-7-5 syllable structure? This one is 4-5-5.

According to their website, this is the "New-Style Haiku" where you don't have to bother with the whole 5-7-5 thing or even try to make it 17 syllables. They say this is to encourage as much participation as possible. It encouraged Charles Rodning to save 3 whole syllables, apparently securing his title as the bad-boy of iced tea poetry.

Chuck, I'm sure you're a nice guy, but I reject your new-style haiku. (And since I'm a nice guy too, I still give you the award for Best Brief Sentence About a Teapot.)

My buddy, Steve, wrote an old-style haiku to express his feelings about the new-style haiku:

That's some good haikuing.

Since anyone can now change the rules of anything, I've made a few official changes of my own:

The New-Style Working Out is scratching myself.

And the New-Style Really Big Penis is 4 inches. (That's so when Alba makes her move, she won't be disappointed. But it doesn't really matter, because the New-Style Disappointed is horny, naked and psyched.)