I found this in my son's backpack the other day.

If you're having any trouble reading it, it says

I pretty much had the same reaction as his teacher.

I haven't had time to do an in-depth interview with him, but we did discuss it briefly and I'm happy and relieved to report the two sentences are not dependent on each other.

He wrote sentence #1 because I'm "nice".

He wrote sentence #2 because I'm "mostly white. And a little apricot."

He then confirmed that these were completely separate thoughts, and that he does not like me BECAUSE I'm mostly white or even a little apricot.

As far as the drawing goes, it's not even of me, it's of him looking at a boat. Which is bullshit, given that I was the star of both sentences.

It's fine, at least I have my new hip-hop name: Li'l Apricot.