My buddy, Dan, has a lemon tree. This tree has produced a few odd lemons in its time, but we are now convinced it was probably planted over a portal to Hell.

The other day Dan walked outside to find this satanic yellow beast hanging from the tree, plotting its world-wide reign of citrus terror.

This is no tiny lemon. It is approximately 5" long, has a 14" circumference and weighs just over 1 pound!! It's a lemon to be reckoned with.

It almost appears as if a normal lemon is in the grips of a monstrous taloned fist. Or that it's trying to give us the finger. We were going to cut it open but were afraid blood might come out. So, now it's on eBay.

Since this is ultimately a perishable item, I'm also throwing in a non-perishable and extremely rare SNEEZE MUG. Very few of these exist. (Because no one ever buys them from The Sneeze store.)

In addition, we will donate all profits from this auction to a charity of the winner's choosing.

Won't you bid on a freakish piece of demonic fruit history today?

To see more pix check out the auction right here.