March 25, 2006


Some friends and I are on Myspace now.

It seemed like something I was supposed to do, but the truth is I don't understand why we're on there.

Can someone explain why everyone is on it?

Or why I'm on it?

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Posted by Steven | Archive

myspace...conspiracy? it seems to me that, like the cell phone, the site has become something that clearly the world cannot function without anymore. almost everyone i know is on myspace, and i don't really know what they/i do. there are people who meet "friends" on there, hell, my friend even met his boyfriend on there. who knows. vast conspiratorial plot to know where/who/why we all are???

Posted by: Patience Blythe at March 25, 2006 05:47 PM

I'm on it, but I don't know why - it does have some good stuff music-wise, though, so that could be it. It's only good as long as the musician in question hasn't 'customised' the page though, cause some of the page customising going on at MySpace is awful. I don't know why, but apparently, in some people's minds, bright purple on neon green = OMFG AWESOME.

Anyway, in closing, I can't answer your question.

Posted by: Alan at March 25, 2006 05:58 PM

I am not on it because it seems that it is just a place where people try to act like they are cool and try to tell us people about their boring lives.I have many friends who have one. I just don't see the point. I don't understand that some people do have a myspace to let someone far away know what it is going on. But that is only reason I see to have one.

Posted by: Serena at March 25, 2006 06:03 PM

Just go around and find pictures to stare at, pretending you're a single, 22-year-old college kid, wishing the babe in the pictures in front to you was on the same campus as you.

Either that or controversy. Jacob Robida, that emo "you BROKE my LIFE" kid, and that other guy.

Posted by: Yaanu at March 25, 2006 06:09 PM

Most people dont know this, but myspace was originally created to be a page where new and upcoming bands could advertise themselves and put their songs on the internet to try and get some fame.

It came over new management somewhat recently and the new person changed it so that singular people could get their own profiles. It became a sight to whore yourself and your friends

What's myspace for? It's for bands to get some notoriety. Why are people like me and you on it? Because we're fuckers, that's why.

Posted by: Jacob at March 25, 2006 06:11 PM

OOOHHHH OOOOHHHH PICK ME I KNOW!!!!!! You are on there because I love and I sent magic love rays to your head making you want a myspace accoutn because I'm a myspace junkie....I think....that could have been a dream. Seriously though, you are fuckign awesome Steve...a true inspiration to a word smith like myself.
Lot o' Love
Elida Silva
A Self Proclaimed Genius.....hehehe

Posted by: Elida at March 25, 2006 06:12 PM

"What's myspace for? It's for bands to get some notoriety. Why are people like me and you on it? Because we're fuckers, that's why."

Definitely my favorite explanation so far. Thanks, Jacob.

Posted by: Steve at March 25, 2006 06:12 PM

Oh, and Jacob, yes, I am a myspace whore...and a fucker of all sorts. Sadly, you are correct about that.

Posted by: Elida at March 25, 2006 06:19 PM

The reason everyone is on myspace is because they give them out with your birth certificate world wide. I am serious...

Posted by: austin at March 25, 2006 06:20 PM

The term 'lemming' comes to mind.

Posted by: Michiel at March 25, 2006 06:41 PM

But why is EVERYONE in my 'extended network'. I don't even have an account? weird.

Posted by: Michiel at March 25, 2006 06:41 PM

I know that I'm on myspace because I'm a conformist asshole. It's a bit like facebook, except you don't have to be in college so all of the dropouts and seventh grade whores can be in on the fun too.

Posted by: erin at March 25, 2006 06:42 PM

Why do you have a myspace?
Because you have finally cracked.

The only thing myspace is good for is getting a couple of pedophile stalkers for whorish prepubescent girls in bikinis.
Or, I guess, getting some publicity if you're some kind of band that no one has heard of or cares about.
But mainly the first one.

Posted by: Arielle at March 25, 2006 06:53 PM

myspace is littered with morons -- one in every 100 profiles is not owned by a moron.

that is all.

Posted by: dnm at March 25, 2006 07:04 PM

It is a competition. The quest for most number of "friends" seems to be the why. The how is the more cheesecake, breasts and booty pictures you have the more "friends" you add to the tally and the closer you are to becoming the winner.

Posted by: LuxuriaMusic at March 25, 2006 07:09 PM

Yeah, what is it with myspace? I'm old and felt compelled to get on there too.

I, too, am a fucker. Damnit!

Posted by: Rick at March 25, 2006 07:20 PM

Myspace exsists as a more personable instant messenger. You get to browse the people's profiles before you send them a message. They are like a free online pimp.

Seriously though, I ended up finding out about my 5 year class reunion through adding a person I graduated with as a friend. Maybe it is a way of networking. (I am married so I don't use it to whore myself out.)

It's also away of following up on people you know, that you don't really like, but your friends know them. So...this is what all the assholes that I graduated do with their spare time...what losers...oh wait, I am on there too. :(

I have also found it a very useful site for "inside info" on my sister-in-law. I have lots of dirt on her, but I would never tell.

I guess what I am trying to is definately a just have to know how to use it.

Posted by: Carol at March 25, 2006 07:30 PM

It must be an American thing. I'm in Australia, and have never heard of it before. Maybe, like livejournals, it's a way for people to make themselves seem more important. "I'm on MySpace. People must want to look at me and read what I think".
But we already read what you think Steve, so why you have one? Who knows?

Posted by: Manda at March 25, 2006 07:34 PM

i'm on it so i look popular.

but i think i'm going to delete my profile soon. it's getting a lot of bad press lately.

Posted by: trizzle at March 25, 2006 07:48 PM

I am not on myspace, nor do I intend to ever be on myspace and I do not know why you would want to be on myspace. I don't think you have enough time to devote to myspace, steve, as you are working to much to update here as often as we, the sneeeze addicted, need you to. So, please give it up before you get sucked in and we lose you all together. Please get out now, please.

Posted by: Diane at March 25, 2006 07:52 PM

Don't worry, I'm not going to update on myspace. I just think it's funny that I'm on there and I have no clue why.

Posted by: Steve at March 25, 2006 07:53 PM

I just got a myspace a few weeks ago- it's just another thing to do on the internet. It's kind of addictive, changing the layout and music, messaging your friends and all that jazz. But you already have a I'm not sure why you have a myspace either.

Posted by: Carla at March 25, 2006 08:02 PM

Myspace is just part of the entire Web 2.0 bubble that will eventually pop like every other fad. Flickr, Zooomr, LinkedIn, and thousands of other useless sites make money off teenagers trying to find other people interested in the same things. It's a social network, and it sucks. Forget finding friends near you which you can actually hang around with, digital friends are good enough for actual users of Myspace.

I personally think it's ironic that Myspace (and others) help you be social using a device that is notoriously anti-social, and find people with similar interests in a medium where it is so easy to lie.

My friend Kris is actually the developer of one of the newer sites, Zooomr and has asked for my help on numerous occasions. I have yet to contribute a single line of code because this entire Web 2.0 fad is completely and utterly retarded.

The blog at is a great read for anybody that hates... um... actually make that anybody.

Posted by: Thom "Tekcor" McGrath at March 25, 2006 08:09 PM

Steve, you're...emo? :O

Posted by: Squee5000 at March 25, 2006 08:48 PM

I'm on it because my kids asked me to. There are a lot of dumb things on there, but it keeps me caught up on my kids and grandkids. One of the nice things is my sons half sister found him, they haven't seen or spoken to each other since their dad died 8 years ago. So some good does come out of it. But I agree that a lot of the teeny boppers (yes, I know that is showing my age..) just look like whores on there. Also, from reading a lot of my kids friends sites, I feel there is a lot their parents don't know...If my kids were under 18, I don't know if I would want them on there unless I had access to their accounts

Posted by: Kathy at March 25, 2006 08:53 PM

It's one of those teen-networking places, somehwere, much like blogger or livejournal, where children can post their angst online and pretend that the world cares.

But it does more than that, too! It's a popularity contest - everyone wants to have more "friends" than everyone else. It's a place for the socially marginalised to meet up, and complain about how the world hates them. It even acts as a hunting ground for scary old men looking for children to prey on ...

Finally, it does what the entire internet is for - allow people to pretend that they are someone and something that they are not - culturally, socially, physically, chronologically (well, ageically sounded even more stupid), and even genderifically. If you don't like who you are - you can be someone else on myspace.

Posted by: Earthman Xosha Rosp at March 25, 2006 09:10 PM

In the time that it took me to read the previous posts, another message was posted. That means that someone is reading thesneeze at the same time that I am and THAT, folks, is why sites like myspace exist. We can "talk" without committing to body language and eye contact.
Maybe that's why more people are being diagnosed with nonverbal learning disability? Because they can no longer read social cues? Because computer text doesn't make faces at you or notice that something is stuck in your teeth?

Posted by: antigoni at March 25, 2006 09:21 PM

To be honest, the only reason I'm on myspace is so my friends would stop sending me invites. Dang those things are annoying. Never really use it though.

Posted by: Van at March 25, 2006 09:31 PM

Yes ive seen this myspace disease. Ive been told no less than thirteen times this week that i need to get an accout. I refuse to join in on this groupthink.

Posted by: Quartico at March 25, 2006 10:27 PM

As remarked above, MySpace used to be dedicated to (angsty) musicians, a place where they could promote their work, upcoming concerts, etc. Since then, it seems to have become a fad. I fell into the trap too, Steve, I signed up because a friend was using it, but once I had done so I wondered what on earth the thing was good for... It's more like LiveJournal, but with a ton of clutter and less purposeful. And, if you can believe it, more emo. Oh well. I wasted five minutes of my life on it and that's five minutes I'll never get back. If you happen to find it useful for something, please let us know!

Take care,

Posted by: KermodeBear at March 25, 2006 10:36 PM

let me put it this way: there's a club on facebook for UW-Whitewater students called "We Neglect MySpace for Facebook" Most of the campus is part of it...

Posted by: mande at March 25, 2006 11:10 PM

I'm there because my little brother never answers my real emails, but he'll answer my messages on myspace. Go figure.

Posted by: Kelly at March 26, 2006 02:32 AM

Isn't a perv haven? Of course I wouldn't know anything about that.

Posted by: Alan H at March 26, 2006 02:33 AM

The answer is simple. Your worth as a human is determined by the number of friends you have on mySpace. It is also for pedophiles and egomaniacs. Speaking of self-importance:

Ya see I didn't even conciously put that. Damn mySpace

Posted by: destroy at March 26, 2006 03:44 AM

its about for "networking" finding new friends etc. Either fro maround your area or not. My town has its own group, where people from the Whitley Bay area (where i live) cn talk about events that have happened and other things -

or go on myspace and click "about" - "MySpace is an online community that lets you meet your friends' friends.

Create a private community on MySpace and you can share photos, journals and interests with your growing network of mutual friends!

See who knows who, or how you are connected. Find out if you really are six people away from Kevin Bacon."

Posted by: Ben Mols at March 26, 2006 03:54 AM

I don't know but suddently I was on myspace too and I just can't figure out what happened!

..but all my friends are there..

Posted by: Kirsti at March 26, 2006 04:02 AM

I'm only on it so I can comment on the posts made by others.

Posted by: golfwidow at March 26, 2006 04:28 AM

I got a MySpace a while back because a friend made me. I thought it was stupid, but I gave it a chance, expecting to delete it a week later. But I didn't. I kind of liked it, and I don't know why. It's like drugs. It made me feel good when I was on it. "Glee! A picture comment! Let's see what they have to say! ...I can't read that! Oh well! Somebody said something about me and my stupid toothbrush ninja picture!"

Posted by: Aloisa at March 26, 2006 05:27 AM

You...must...myspace...our...lord...and...savior...Tom...has...commanded it...

seriously though, what do you need Myspace for? It's primarily a blogger site from what I can see.. and you are... THE blog... so don't worry about it.

Posted by: Matthew at March 26, 2006 05:57 AM

I don't know why I'm on Myspace, either. I think the draw is simply the sheer number of people that have accounts. It's pretty cool to find people that, up until that point, you were pretty sure were dead or in prison. The "Holy crap! I remember you!" factor is pretty high. So I check back every now and then to party like it's 1997.

Posted by: John at March 26, 2006 06:06 AM

Myspace is big 'away message.' It's like, instead of talking to your friends face to face, you leave them lots of online post-it notes. What's the fun in that?

Also, if you ever plan to delete your Myspace account, brace yourself to face the wrath of your friends. When I told all of my friends that I was deleting it, they suddenly transformed into these gross zombie-esque creatures, with wide, blank eyes and slurred speech, all creeping closer, asking 'why would you do such a thing?!' and 'do you even want to be my friend anymore?!' Scary.

Posted by: Roast Beef at March 26, 2006 06:10 AM

oh my dear. it's alright, the thing with myspace is that you think it's really stupid before you use it and then after you get into it you STILL think it's stupid but you can't stop.

it's a little bit like crack cocaine.

Posted by: angela at March 26, 2006 06:20 AM

And NOTHING is worse than those people that are constantly using the school computers to browse around Myspace land. Well, I guess child molesters and rapists are, BUT THAT'S IT.

Posted by: Bernardo Love-Hewitt at March 26, 2006 06:29 AM

I don't, nor will I ever, have a "myspace". The reason for this is as follows: I moved 700 miles away from my home town so I wouldn't be found!! As for on-line dating services... hey you remember those "party lines"? Same thing... except this time you get a pic of some hot person they only wished they could looked like.

Posted by: luckygirl at March 26, 2006 06:32 AM

It's so idiots like the one in the URL I'm about to paste can be easily identified.

Posted by: Wrexie at March 26, 2006 06:56 AM

we're just a bunch of conformists. Get used to it, biatches

Posted by: Jesus at March 26, 2006 07:21 AM

I have a myspace too, however I don' t think I'm truthful about anything on it. I swear it has to be subliminal messages. The government has just come up with a new way to spy on us, and is promoting it mercilessly without our knowlege. They're trying to find terrorists and haven't figured out that the terrorist don't have myspace profiles where they announce their plans of word domination... only cartoon characters do that, but the U.S. government is kind of slow. Myspace will eventually die with the conspiracy as soon as they figure out how flawed it is. Just watch.

Posted by: Arsenic at March 26, 2006 07:23 AM

I have no idea either. It isn't very useful. I'm there because I sheepled when some friends from a message board I'm on did it. Yipes, sorry about that sentence, but I'm too lazy to try to make it nicer.

Soooo, what does it take to be one of sneezesteve's friends???

Posted by: JY Biscuit at March 26, 2006 07:25 AM

im on it because myspace is one of the most efficient ways to waste times. I've tried everything... folding orgami, alphabetizing my cds, counting the number of moles on my body... but I usually grow bored with it and revert to doing something that actually matters.
with myspace, I can stay on for hours without even thinking about what I should be doing.
myspace is truly amazing.

Posted by: eunice at March 26, 2006 08:04 AM

Geessus, H-Shit-N-Shinola, Steve, I REALLY had hopes, that you not only had MORE brains, than to join "SheepSpace", let alone, more class, but obviously I was wrong.
I love, reading the comments above that keep referring to "MY FRIEND" and "MY FREINDS", "made me so and so"... because I doubt, highly, that any of those people could DEFINE what a "friend" is. As for their "obvious reasons for joining", SheepSpace, all have said the exact, same, thing.............. they're sheep, they're losers and fellow fuckups, period.

Posted by: ELR Weirdo at March 26, 2006 08:30 AM

MySpace really is a conspiracy. It's a way for the communists to get all the information they need about you (and anyone else) and force you to join them.

Posted by: Ryan at March 26, 2006 08:41 AM


First off, most of the responses here have shown that they've got a myspace too...Two words for ya, Steve..."Free Advertising." So yes, in some people's eyes, I may be a typical myspace whore, but at least I can do my part there to spread the news about the sneeze.

Thanks for the Add, by the way :)


Posted by: Jay at March 26, 2006 09:04 AM

I got on my space to link with people who shared an interest of mine, then decided I didn't like them. But my very good friends (in real life!) are on there and now I can't leave. I wouldn't know where/when all the parties are!

The only good thing about it is that I can practice my Italian and French with people from those countries...Bonjour et ciao!

Posted by: marie at March 26, 2006 09:43 AM

Tsk tsk Steve....
I expected better than you.
Selling out to Rupert Murdoch?!?!


Posted by: Popher at March 26, 2006 10:49 AM

I don't understand what the big deal is about Myspace... I mean, why do people get so angry about it?

I guess it is annoying that many of the users are highschool girls whoring themselves out so as to acquire the most friends... but other than that it's just a site where people can keep up with their friends, and are kept posted on stuff like show dates for bands they like and I don't know... it's just a stupid website, why is everyone so angry about it??

Posted by: kasie at March 26, 2006 10:58 AM

"they're sheep, they're losers and fellow fuckups, period."-ELR Weirdo

Thanks man. But see I'm in University, and myspace is my way of procrastinating. But hey, loser and fuckup works too.

Posted by: Lindsay at March 26, 2006 10:59 AM

It's a way that the CIA can keep track of morons (which poses a bigger threat to the U.S. than any terrorist).

I figure myspace serves the purpose as text messaging on a cell phone.

Posted by: Robbio at March 26, 2006 11:01 AM

MySpace is grossly overrated. And someone mentioned's a good place for bands to get noticed and whatnot...but the majority of users just use the site as a lame hookup place. And as for the band thing...most of the time your "friends" couldn't really care less about the music you're playing. You're just another number to add to their friendlist. the end, the kids who really care about your music are still your local fanbase and friends of friends of friends...etc.

Everyone's all "but I keep in touch with all my old friends and blah blah blah" and that's all nice and everything...but there are other means to stay in touch...and when your friendships have diminished to mostly leaving comments like "I love you, you hottiebangalottie <333333. Leave me one. ::heart::" it's kind of a shallow relationship, ne?

And theeen it goes even further...when your "coolness" and "popularity" are based on how many "friends" you have on there. I mean even the dorkiest, geekiest kid can be mad freaking awesome - just take some emo pictures, add a lot of friends, leave a ton of comments, flirt with skanky girls and everything is set.

Whatever, though. In short: it's just lame.

Posted by: Ashlee at March 26, 2006 11:14 AM

To be serious, I joined because two friends of mine who live in different states wanted me to. It was pretty pointless in the beginning, but then more and more of my friends from around the country joined, and it has become a way for us to keep in touch, share pictures and other media, and help to support bands. But we also say that the motto of myspace is as such:

"Myspace: helping people stalk other people since 2003." Or whenever it began.

It all comes down to you personally and what you are getting or losing from involving yourself in it. But since I am also involved in the music business, I feel it is necesary to be on top of the most recent happenings, and Myspace is part of that.

Posted by: liv at March 26, 2006 11:20 AM

Be careful... I think they put something in that website to make it very addictive. But yeah, once you step away from it and think about it for a minute.. it's pretty lame. I mean, I can just as easily email the friends that I miss as well as email them pics. And IM them, if nothing else.
It all boils down to self promotions and the undying need for approval.

Posted by: Jessucka at March 26, 2006 11:35 AM

I joined to help a friend stalk her teenaged son and his mangy friends that might get him in trouble. I never put any info on it and I only have one friend (Tom). I think the main purpose of MySpace is to allow teenagers to brag about all the weed they smoke and the booze they guzzle, and for teenaged suburban white girls to pretend they are gangsters. Sorry, gangstahs: "We be thuggin, 4 REALZ!!" Because, you know, their parents will never find their MySpace. I have no idea why you, Steve, would have a MySpace, but you got a post out of it, we all need imagination fodder.

Posted by: Richard at March 26, 2006 12:14 PM

my space is sooooo stupid the in no point for it steve i mean i guess you can talk to people with it but that what telephones and instant messaggers are for and you cant meet people there cuz its mostly a sausage fest and the chicks that are on there always live 1000 miles away from you so theres no point its a way to shoiw every one how dumb you can be by putting little bannanas and pictures of shoes on your profile

Posted by: mike at March 26, 2006 12:23 PM

I do it so that I can practive my CSS code. So far I've done my own page, as well as one for a friend and helped code another.

Other than that, though, it seems like a waste of time and effort on behalf of those that maintain it and use it.

Furthurmore, the entire purpose of the site is to push ads (oftentimes the most obnoxious ones on the net) on as many people as possible, which is, of course, why I removed them as quickly as possible.

Posted by: jack at March 26, 2006 12:50 PM

I wish I had an answer for you Steve, I ask myself the same question everytime I look at my own myspace page.
Welcome to the unknown

Posted by: Mark at March 26, 2006 01:43 PM

Hey, some people use it to whore themselves and others don't. Personally, it was nice to be able to see people I haven't seen in years and be able to contact them (if you lost contact w/ them anyway). I dunno, maybe I'm a conformist bitch but I don't mind myspace and those who don't like it then why worry about it? Nobody is forcing you to think about or look at myspace so if it bothers you that much then don't do either. Simple. Myspace, livejournal, xanga, flickr...all the same shit so who cares?

Posted by: TheRealLoser at March 26, 2006 02:35 PM

Why are we on Myspace? Because you can't masturbate all the time.

In truth, it's basically without having to pay for anything. You can find anyone with the real name search, including my elementary school arch-nemesis, Spencer Reuter (whose myspace page has no friends listed) (I always knew that guy was a loser) (I hope he sees this, since, being a loser and all, he's probably reads the Sneeze).

Posted by: J David at March 26, 2006 02:38 PM

I have a myspace, I only use it to keep in touch with friends that I haven't seen in a few years. They don't answer my emails so myspace messages is the only way to communicate.

I don't understand why people are so angry about myspace. If people want to be whores online why should anyone else care?

Posted by: Fi at March 26, 2006 03:07 PM

Ha ha! I totally sent you an invite to be my friend because my nefarious plot worked!
MySpace is the bane of my existance. I waste so much time there.

Posted by: Olivia at March 26, 2006 03:14 PM

the only reason I got on it was so I could order a shirt from demetri martin. that guy fucking rules! I agree with jacob too. I'm just a fucker.

Posted by: Adam at March 26, 2006 03:53 PM

I once signed up to myspace to see what it was about and I thought, "What the f- am I supposed to do now?"

And then I never went back.

Posted by: teiso at March 26, 2006 05:22 PM

what i dont get is why so many people are against sites like myspace...? i have found so many people from college that i'd lost touch with and now we email and catch up on old times. its great. and i've met alot of other cool artists from there-- i've actually organized a group of artists that meet up once a month to share new work... most of them i met through myspace. and yes, i've dated people from myspace-- some were weirdos but i've met some seriously fantastic people that i would not have otherwise met through my normal daily activities. aside from people trying to use it as a promotional tool, you could actually use it for creative purposes. *gasp* make new friends?!? thats just crazy-talk.

Posted by: Sarah at March 26, 2006 06:02 PM

Reading all of these comments about myspace, it brings to mind this clip from the daily show:

Watch it and sing along to the emo rock.

Posted by: adrian at March 26, 2006 06:37 PM

I finally broke down and joined. I found tons of old friends from highschool had done the same. If you can ignore all of the half nakked teenage girls, it's pretty cool to re-connect with old friends.

Posted by: Cassandra at March 26, 2006 07:03 PM

Just wondering here.. doesn't anyone use friendster anymore?

Posted by: adrian at March 26, 2006 07:10 PM

I have never been on my space..........But I'm going right now to see what all the HUB is about.... I hope I survive.

Posted by: busybee at March 26, 2006 07:25 PM

It's becoming a marketing tool... not only do people, and bands have Myspace profiles, but the local bars I (may or may not) frequent also have profiles. And now, blog sites even have profiles. I think this will all eventually lead to creating profiles for your profiles, until your profiles start stalking each other online.

And shit, yes, I have added the bars, and the blog as my friends!

And can someone tell me why I'm in Steve's top 8? I've never even met the man! Is he stalking me?!?

Posted by: Zclone at March 26, 2006 07:29 PM

Myspace is just one more way to continue the dumbing down of our society, in order to control bodies, thereby ensuring votes. Just look at the posts. Spelling and punctuation are missing in 50%+. More fodder to keep the morons occupied.

Posted by: Rhett at March 26, 2006 07:32 PM

I don't know, I use myspace to keep up with some of the less popular bands I listen to.

But damn, I sure feel like a creep whenever I look at someone's profile. It seems like all the thing's that you would find out about a person after knowing them for a few weeks is all right there on their myspace profile page.

Posted by: The Dude at March 26, 2006 07:36 PM

Everyone's on myspace.... because everyone's on myspace.

Posted by: Amy at March 26, 2006 07:42 PM

You want everyone know how many friends you have (230)?

Posted by: steph at March 26, 2006 08:33 PM

It's totally a confusing situation. I got on Myspace because I thought it could be fun? I hate mine, really. I don't like most of the bulletins or random skeevy dudes commenting on the pictures. But it has become a tool of convenience. An automatic birthday reminder. A message from your favorite local bands listing show times. A way to make a quick comment to a friend while you are bored and work and can't call.

Posted by: tish at March 26, 2006 08:51 PM


U R on MySpace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Be my friend N I will B yrs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Myspace Rulz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: stiffy! at March 26, 2006 09:24 PM

CRAP! You have 253 friends!!! You're tres popular!!!

Posted by: stan at March 26, 2006 11:37 PM

I use myspace to keep up with those friends who i haven't seen in so long, that trying to fill in the info of what has happened since i last saw them would take days. It also makes a good place for my friends to read about what's going on in my twisted mind. No whoring for me either.

Posted by: Bitchick at March 27, 2006 03:01 AM

Perhaps subconsciously, I say this because you don't even know or remember why you joined myspace, you joined to get more hits to your site.

Posted by: Lilyth at March 27, 2006 04:14 AM

'cause Tom is an evil genius.

Posted by: Miss Evenstar at March 27, 2006 04:41 AM

i talk to my friends on myspace... and idk i mean ppl do have points about it saying how it's bad and stuff.. but sometimes its good. i get to talk to ppl i usually wouldn't. and i'd like to say that ik everyone on my friends list. and if i don't know someone i delete them... but i'm not saying everyone should have it... idk wat i'm saying really..

Posted by: PPL at March 27, 2006 04:49 AM

I'm too cool for Myspace. :D

Posted by: dani the girl at March 27, 2006 06:58 AM

Well Steve, I’m 21, the way I see it, its a place for kids (and people who act like kids) to do what ever they want and say whatever they want (true or not) and then they think they can deny everything by saying "myspace is just a joke, every one knows that. If you don’t know that your a loser!"
I have a "friend" who has a page on myspace. And she just recently posted a something about me that is not true. I'm sure she will reply to the e-mail I sent her with the same nonsense as above.
In short, the only reason I can see to be on myspace is that people think they can do whatever and not be held accountable for it. Sounds pretty good until your on the shitty side of it.
And also, I suggest that all parents look to see if their child has a page and make sure they aren’t doing anything inappropriate.

Posted by: The Bitter Butterfly at March 27, 2006 08:25 AM

I'm not really sure why so many people are on it, I think its like most profile sites. People join think "oh is this it?" and never login again. Sadly I'm on it but I joined ages ago =\ I'll be honest it's not really an excuse but oh well

Posted by: E-motive at March 27, 2006 08:59 AM

EVERYONE is on myspace now. When I joined it was brand new, and after I'm on it for like a year I start hearing the word "myspace" fly across the room into my ear during conversations I'm not even eavesdropping on.

the bottom line is, if you don't have a myspace, you're not one of the "cool" kids.

Posted by: Dan at March 27, 2006 09:37 AM


Posted by: kirk at March 27, 2006 09:44 AM

I refuse to put myself on MySpace simply because, as I told someone once, I don't want to be one of "those people". I'm not looking for love or fame, and I'm not desperate for attention. I do, however, go there to check out bands or musical artists. It's great for that.

Posted by: Courtney at March 27, 2006 10:05 AM

11 rules for myspace
1.If you're ugly,
stop acting like you don't know it.
The captions under you picture that says
"top model pose""sexy bitch""arnt i hot"
doesn't convince anyone.

2.To the people who have like 25,000 friends,
are you serious?
Nobody in this universe can keep up with that many friends.
You're stupid.
Go play in traffic.

3.Don't ever post pictures and say
"OMG, I'm so ugly"
"OMG,I'm so fat"
because if you were,
you wouldn't post them.

4.Nobody cares about threats over the internet.
Don't try to act hardcore with the keyboard.
Fighting online is like racing in the special olympics;
even if you win,
you're still retarded.

5.Making 20 bulletins a day
about how you have new pictures
and begging people to comment on them is pathetic.
Make the bulletin once if you have to,
and those who actually care about you
will comment on your pics.

6.If all your pictures look the same,
don't post them all.
Please put some variety in your pics.
Nobody wants to see your face
8 different ways.

7.Who really gives a rat's ass if
I don't accept you as a friend?
Don't send me another request or message asking
"what's up with you not adding me?"
I don't want you as a friend;
that's what's up!

8.Little 6th and 7th graders who have MySpace
and look like skanks,
go somewhere else
because nobody wants you here.

9.If you have decided to read this,
you are a true MySpace Friend.
Real friends read their bulletins.

10.I say you go and pass this on
and maybe it will finally get through people's brains
(if they have them).

11.And if you open a bulletin and it says something like
"you will die in 10 days if you dont repost this,"

Posted by: yomama at March 27, 2006 10:06 AM

All of the above, and more. I am on it because I used to run a BBS back in the day and myspace reminds me of those days. It is way too full of children, but you don't have to read their crap, so it's kinda like sitting in the smoking section of a "family" restaurant - you know there are kids there because you can hear them, but you can't see them, so it's cool. Anyway, you are on myspace because you cannot say no to a friend. That's what I think, anyway. You have this place, so you are likely not going to make much use of your space there.

Posted by: Kerry at March 27, 2006 10:27 AM

and i wanted to add you when you just had 5 friends or so...

then you put a blog about it a BAM! 9000 friends.

myspace is just one big fuster-cluck of people. normally i dont want to add people or be added by people i dont know but like for you and/or guster, i did because i like to see when 'new info' comes out.

Posted by: dejai at March 27, 2006 11:58 AM

I don't know why *I'm* on it. I barely even look at the damn thing. I only have three friends, which seems pathetic because everyone else has hundreds, but those 3 friends are REALLY my friends, whereas most everyone else just adds anyone and everyone. I am not sure what the purpose is, but I have been told that it is cool. If that's true, why is Kevin Federline on MySpace? He's not cool. What's the dealio?

Posted by: Heywood at March 27, 2006 12:33 PM

I had an "extended houseguest" who swore allegiance to MySpace and must have spent 50% of his life in the past few months basking in its glow from his computer screen. He was constantly in search of profiles that he could "meet" and "get to know" in the hopes of scoring a date.

But the thing is, MySpace offered the opportunity to be an abhorrent liar about everything. "I need to start listening to this band so I can say that I like them." And the women he did meet seemed to have invented as much about themselves. It's really what forging a new relationship is all about: an inherent trust in the fact that the other person is lying.

It seems to simply offer the opportunity to be that person that you're not, without the real-world risk of embarrassing yourself horribly when someone calls your bluff. So I recommend you invent a secret, double life, Steve, and run with it.

Posted by: Phaeax at March 27, 2006 01:01 PM

Because it's the right thing to do..............

Posted by: unlived at March 27, 2006 01:36 PM

I have two myspace sites: one for me and one for my rock band... guess that makes me a double fucker, even if I never update them.
Anyway, I sent u a request to add me as a friend, Steve, so, add me.

Posted by: Alex at March 27, 2006 02:05 PM

I'm not on myspace (it's evil, full of scary people, and I don't know what I'd do with it if I had it anyway), but after reading these comments I feel left out and friendless :(
But I have a blog now, does that count?

Posted by: Deity at March 27, 2006 04:41 PM

I think it's funny how EVERYONE has one and EVERYONE has an excuse (as in "I only have one because...") because no one wants to admit that they are completely hooked.

Posted by: Chloe at March 27, 2006 05:00 PM

myspace is here basically to give us fuckers something to complain about. I mean conform isnt that pretty much what we ALL do anyways? gimme a break. WHY Not myspace. I found friends on there from the past that i really enjoy being back in touch with. I think it's a pride issue. I mean why EMAIL??? is that conforming? well yeah! so the fuck what :)

just stay clear of the people your afraid of. you still have to use your brain like any other situation. Do you Never see freaks at the grocery store. do you walk up and give them your info. Well there are ways to be safe on myspace too.

Posted by: lee at March 27, 2006 05:00 PM

Back to the band thing. Are all the famous to semi famous band profiles fake? Suddenly Sonic youth has 25000 friends ranging from 13-year olds showing skin to er ....TOM! What is it with that guy anyway? Even Scott Walker has a profile. I guess some of them are just primitive fan-sites, but according to all the comments, nobody understands, "Ohh... I love your music soooo much Michael Jackson! Miss you, come back". By the way, Michael has a mere 12028 friends, including Lionel Richie, Bee Gees and ...TOM! (tom has 66178315)

Posted by: Stian at March 27, 2006 05:08 PM

because it's cool :3

Posted by: yee-uh at March 27, 2006 05:32 PM

MySpace. What a laugh.

No, I'm on there, too. All the hip twenty-somethings are on there these days, but you know what? I've got a secret....

Thefacebook is far superior.

Posted by: Jessi-ca at March 27, 2006 08:09 PM

A couple of twenty-something pals of mine heard I was in a band with a 10 year old kid (I'm 35) and insisted,"OMG, you gotta get on the Space!" One of them set up a profile for us. The whole phenomenon just looked to me like a way to e-mail injokes that every one else can read. Kinda lame. But then, I'm not too clued-in to the whole blogosphere, either.

Then, the other day, the boy's older brother mentioned us in his apparently popular blog, and suddenly we're deluged with listens and "adds". And now I have something to do with my days besides checking for new content on The Sneeze! I can't get enough of funny Hasselhoff cheesecake pix and psychedelic wallpaper! Dear God, shoot me now (my Space-enthusiast friends all speak of their relationship with the Space in a similar combination of freakish adoration and self-loathing).

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that nearly all the girls are much closer to the band's median age than to any of our individual ages. Very frustrating. I hate it. Please add "totalannihilationband"! Please? Forget I said anything bad about MySpace! I love the space, LOVE THE SPACE!! I'd have commented here much sooner had I not spent the last three days glued to the Space... I'm trying desperately to get the boy to remember how to log-in, so I can wean myself off this internet crack. Have mercy.

totalannihilationband. Add us!!!

Posted by: Dorkmeister at March 27, 2006 10:27 PM

About you:
You write

Who you'd like to meet:
People who's entire existence can be defined by 12 uploaded pictures and a few blurbs about themselves.

Posted by: Balki Bartokomus at March 28, 2006 02:45 AM

we are all on there for the same reason we are postin 2 this blog.... we r addicted to stupid shit! actually i do like it i have 2 spend 2 much time there..

Posted by: dee leeena at March 28, 2006 07:11 AM

I could soooo sell Myspace!

"I have friends all over the world. Keeping in touch can be as easy as posting a 1 word comment or a picture of my current drug of choice!"


"These days finding a date for the weekend can be overwhelming. With myspace I can spam "Hey sexy. Just showin sum lov. Holla bak!" to every girl I've stalked on my friends list! Thank you myspace!"


"My band sucks, but we still want money and bitches. We kinda sound like Killswitch and The Used and ... Shabba Ranks ... and whatever else it is you kids listen too. Thanks to myspace we can suck ON THE INTERNET."

Posted by: kfd at March 28, 2006 07:38 AM

wow, i skimmed/read every comment and i'd say about 96% of everybody said they had a myspace. that's pretty bad.

i refuse to get a myspace. something about it just really turns me off. there are its perks though, like for relatives you have that live far away, or friends, and it's an easy way to stay in touch. but, other than that, it's just a place to "whore" yourself out, as everyone else has been saying. it also really creeps me out that anyone who pleases could just come across my myspace and read everything about me and see my pictures. myspace was blowing my mind the other day when i came across about 5 people that i haven't seen since i moved in third grade. it was the weirdest thing ever.

another thing i hate (sorry, this is turning into a semi-rant) is that your popularity depends on how many "friends" you have when the majority of the friends are just aquaintences or people you barely even know. and all the comments are all "omg, hey!! aren't you in my precal class?? fun times in there! be my friend, k? see you @ school!" (this comment is equivalent to the comments left by most of the other highschool morons i go to school with). i think i wouldn't be so turned off by myspace if it weren't for the people who have made it into a popularity contest and...i don't know, people just take it so seriously. it's just so lame. arrrrg.

wow. feels good to get all that off my chest.

Posted by: betty at March 28, 2006 10:04 AM

i'm on it because some of my friends are on there and only allow other myspacers to read their blogs. because they don't know enough to register their own domain name.

we are sheep.

i don't get the appeal of it though.

Posted by: wRitErsbLock at March 28, 2006 10:28 AM

I think MySpace is great. For a little while I wondered what I was doing on there, but then I started to reep the benefits. People started coming out of the woodwork—high school friends, old exes, acquaintances. Welcome to a place where the past never goes away. People are still out there wondering how I'm doing. And I thank them for that.

Posted by: Ginger Bellamy at March 28, 2006 11:54 AM

I don't think of it as a teen site at all. Sure, they're presence is there, but if you don't make "friends" with any you can pretty much ignore them. I'm only friends, mostly, with people I know in real life. It's a great way to stay in touch with friends in other places or reconnect with people you've lost touch with. I love it!

Posted by: melissa at March 28, 2006 02:23 PM

Only losers are on myspace!

Posted by: CoolerThanYou at March 28, 2006 02:44 PM

I discoverd another use for myspace. I've been trying to figure out how to find one of my best friends from high school, so I did a search on myspace for her kids...voila! found her oldest daughter, and now I am back in touch my one of my oldest friends. That alone was worth being on

Posted by: Kathy at March 28, 2006 09:01 PM

Actually, a friend of mine did a MySpace experiment to discover whether "The quest for most number of "friends" seems to be the why. The how is the more cheesecake, breasts and booty pictures you have the more "friends" you add to the tally and the closer you are to becoming the winner" is true.


Posted by: Kay at March 29, 2006 06:15 AM

Well, I'm on it because of a friend of mine. I do shit with it because I get nagged if I don't. As for the rest of the world?

I'm willing to believe there's a conspiracy involved.

Posted by: SalvialTen at March 29, 2006 08:29 AM

My friend forced me to sign up under threats of denying me Olive Garden.

It's more of a pain in the ass than anything.

Posted by: Rage at March 29, 2006 12:12 PM

I'm kind of new to MySpace, and don't really use it much because i'm Canadian and not many Canadians I know of use it. But i have used it to look up dirt on my boyfriends old girlfriends =D or at least to size up the competition.

Posted by: Amy_l at March 29, 2006 12:51 PM

Evidently MySpace is the reality TV of the 'net. Everyone wants to pretend that they're smart and above it all, but they're really soaking it all up.

I'm not on MySpace, and I'd love to say it's because I'm terribly erudite and hang out with prohibitively hip people, but it's just because I'm lazy and my computer is slow.

Posted by: Honey at March 29, 2006 02:05 PM

why? because it's there.

I'm on it, have been since September '03, and I'm still not a better person for it.

Posted by: ehren at March 29, 2006 08:14 PM

I only joined to find friends from highschool and college and communicate with them. More of them are on there than any other site or messenger. I am not in one of the "friends races" and frequently clean out my list of people that don't talk to me. I'm happy with just the people I know on mine.

Steve, you ROCK! You definately don't need a myspace if you don't care to mess with one.

Posted by: Marcia at March 30, 2006 06:20 AM

what's Going on with your stve dont eat it?

Posted by: chandria at March 30, 2006 09:23 AM

"Mommy, Steve is talking crazy!"

Steve, don't follow the Myspace cult, it's the biggest load of shit. There's absolutely no point, please Steve, get off. I've recently been elected leader of the anti-myspace movement. I urge you to get out while you're still skeptical about it. I've read your site Steve, Myspace stands for everything you're against!!!


Posted by: Charles at March 30, 2006 04:54 PM

I agree with Charles. You must detach yourself from myspace before its to late!!

Posted by: Whowantstano at March 30, 2006 08:34 PM

I am on MySpace because I have moved around a lot and it's really hard to keep track of everyone. It's sad but I keep in touch with everyone more than I did before. Everyone (excluding bands) are people that I know well. Yes, there are a lot of "whores" but, completely dismissing MySpace is like dismissing the phone, or email. We are movin' on up and this is a prototype.

Posted by: Jen at March 30, 2006 11:27 PM

I'm on myspace so I can keep in touch with my adult children. And so I can find bands like "Vagabond Opera" and always know when they play.

And I have less than 8 friends and am not cool. But I wouldn't be cool with 800 friends either, so no biggie. ;)

Posted by: Pirate Kitty at March 31, 2006 09:16 AM

Yes, I can see it now....the future rulers of the world...MYSPACE THE GREAT!
We all have seen it.....most of us have one....and most of us who have a myspace, hate it.
I, for one, hate myspace.....but I'm on it all the time.
My homepage....Myspace
I tell my mom I'm doing homework....Myspace
My boyfrineds being a dick........Myspace Blogs
I have real homework to do......Myspace
Computer class......Myspace

It's all i do.
It's for everyone to connect, or that was the intital it's for stalkers, emo kids, bands, freaks, geeks, and popular kids.

Each of these groups has developed it's own style, and here i get to my point. Steve, your myspace can't stay boring forever, you have to streotypr it sometime.
Here's some guidlines:

Stalker: Odd pictures, short about me and intrests, not decorated, 1,000+ friends, all hot females in bikinis.

Emokid: Really nice decoration, mabye an overlay, long lists about what they like, a few online quizzes, emo music, lot's f emo friends, long blogs, pictures of them with stupid haircut in the same postition...over and over

Bands: stuff....

Freaks: bloody pictures and gory stuff...not much about them and only a few friends

Geeks: Lot's of real life geek friends....stuff about video games....weird music....shcool pictures

Popular Kids: Page "pimped" with a myspce editor, lot's of blinking animations and glittery things...lot's of pictures, more thatn one song, tons of friends, nice pictures, tons of online quizzes....[death to popular kids]

Posted by: Heather at March 31, 2006 01:53 PM

I'm not on my space. Or facebook. But maybe I should be? Man I'm so glad the internet wasn't around when I was in college ('93 grad). I knew people who emailed other people at other colleges (VAX lab only), but it wasn't anything like it is today. What's the point of being away at college if your parents can call your cellphone anytime or email you constantly? It allowed me to break free from my lame high school friends, start over, and talk to my parents (love 'em) just once a week :-)

Blah blah blah blah blah

It's 5:20. I'm busting out of this prison.

Posted by: Jim at March 31, 2006 02:21 PM


Posted by: LADYJUDGE at April 1, 2006 02:16 PM

My cat bounded onto my keyboard, looked at me, then sneezed all over the monkey logo on the upper left. Cat boogers everywhere.

That was completely irrelevant.

I'll never use myspace for one single reason: I keep getting spammed with multiple myspace invites from people I've never spoken one word to and who've added me to their instant messenger for no coherent reason. That obliterated any smidgen of interest I may have theoretically had for myspace.

Posted by: A.Gorilla at April 2, 2006 12:57 AM

Myspace was made for bill collectors to find you

Posted by: DJ Refile at April 2, 2006 11:42 AM

Apparently Myspace is evil because I cannot access it from my work....hmmm???

Posted by: SwtMary at April 4, 2006 05:19 AM

I have been on it, off and on, about two years. I agree the "why" is a bit of a mystery, however, numbers don't lie. For the people who have nothing better to do, Myspace has everything. Personally, the Religion and Philosophy forums are the best.

I can't think of a better medium to share my views, breasts, and Jesus jokes ;)


Posted by: Kimberly at April 4, 2006 12:56 PM

Well you see, it's rather simple. Remember in the 70's and 80's where cocaine was a BIG hit? Yeah, sooner or later, it just wasn't good enough so then came along CRACK. Myspace is essentially the crack cocaine of the internet world!

However, if you wanted a profesional answer I'd have to say:
Due to the growing number of people with borderline personality disorder, it has provided a substitute for validation, but only placating egos and creating quicksand of the soul............

Posted by: SiaZ at April 4, 2006 02:04 PM

i think myspace is for unsigned bands and to whore yourself ..

Posted by: jo at April 7, 2006 07:04 AM
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