I was in a hobby store for my son looking for a toy plane that I knew didn't exist (a long story I won't bother you with) when a box for a model kit caught my eye. It was good ol' Captain America.

I thought it was an interesting choice that no photo of the actual model appeared on the packaging. Since that's usually not a good sign (or a great sign depending on how you look at these things), I tried to find a picture of it when I got home. I did, and it's all I could have hoped for.

The more I look at this Captain America the more I'm obsessed with him. He's not angry, he's not ready to kick ass, he just looks fantastically disenchanted. Like he didn't get the taxi he was trying to hail, or he's bummed that he has to go crime-fighting in a soggy boot.

But it's not just his lack of expression that kills me, it's his actual face. It looks like they hired some chooch to put on the Captain America suit so they could take pictures to create the model kit, and then they forgot to make the model not look like that guy.

Either that, or it's Tony Shalhoub.

Another version of the model seems to have him with a crazy Ed Grimley smile. In this one I picture him running after the other superheroes shouting, "C'mon guys, wait up!"

I'd say whichever one you get, you're still way ahead of the game. I'm totally going back to the store to buy one now.

(For other dumb superhero stuff on The Sneeze see:
Captain Avenger
Spider-Man: Adventure Hero
and Iron Jaw Part 1 and Part 2.
Or check your local library!)