Apples, pennies and herpes rank high among the disappointing items you can receive on Halloween. This week I found one more I'd like to add to the list: "New MEGA M&MS."

When I first heard about them, I thought "Wow, what a great idea! Huge M&Ms!"

And just look at the packaging. They're so massively gigantic, only 6 of them fit on the bag! Oh, doctor!

I now present to you an ordinary m&m side-by-side wth a new "mega" m&m.

I know it's silly, but in my head I had visions of holding an M&M with two hands and biting into it like a sandwich.

Maybe taking one on a picnic and sharing it with my wife. Then feeding the leftovers to squirrels and bums.

Oh well. I guess I can dream. And at least now I know how little it takes to be "mega."

Boy, I can't wait to give my wife a dose of my mega dong tonight.