A huge pet peeve of mine of mine is when I'm at a stop sign waiting for a pedestrian to cross the street, and they don't pick up the pace. It infuriates me. (My other pet peeve is what a douche I sound like using the phrase "pet peeve.")

All I ask is the people crossing the street show a little hustle when they know there's a car wating on them. I know they don't have to, but I would like it because the rage I feel while they saunter along is going to give me a coronary.

I'd even be happy with the Coach's Trot-- you see that in sports when the players are all running to their lockers, and the fat old coach just moves his arms around to make it "look" like he's running.

I bring all this up because I keep seeing a commerical for the new VW Passat. In it, two guys are playing football on the street and one of them goes long, dives to catch the ball and lands hard on the hood of a Passat. He then rolls off to the ground, unhurt.

The announcer goes on to talk about Passat's new "Front-End Pedestrian Saftey System" which apparently makes it safer if you hit somebody. This is the best news ever. It seems to me this is a license to mow people down at will.

The Passat people are geniuses.

The next time someone is taking too long to cross the street, I can playfully knock their asses across the road for them. Life just keeps getting better. First boobies, then Tivo, now this. Yay!