July 17, 2005

In Response to Meat Boats

In the last post I mentioned how Subway used to cut their sandwiches differently, and I failed to turn comments on. This was a mistake.

Here's just a handful of the responses I received regarding toasting, preferences, theories and even a little interesting/alleged background history on Jared. Let's start with what I learned from a guy who manages 6 Subways, and we'll go from there... (Comments are now closed for this post)


First, no complaints about the article. But being a long-term manager of 6 Subways, I thought I might share a little info, since there were a few questions in the answer.

The toaster was not exactly a response to Quiznos. In fact, it came up in the Coke/Subway deal. About a year ago, while Coke, Pepsi, and RC were battling for the contract for every Subway in the world, Coke won the deal by offering to purchase every Subway one of these $5000 super-toasters. (Which on a different topic, are an amazing feat of engineering). Of course, however, Subway liked the idea because of Quiznos picking up business. I believe this would have happened regardless of Quiznos. To the best of my knowledge, Quiznos is copying us. A few Subways in scattered parts of the world have been toasting for a very long time. And even still, our toaster is 10 times better than theirs :P.

We changed the way we cut the bread from the u-gouge to the hinge-cut. Yeah, we're that pathetic, they have names. It is faster to the build the sandwich, and easier to close *if done correctly*. It also prevents the tops of the bread from getting lost during busy hours.

The hinge-cut is far superior if the person making the sandwich knows what they are doing. If not, everything will go wrong, in which case people will claim the old u-gouge was better.


I wrote to Thom with 6 questions that he was kind enough to answer...

When did Subway stop the U-Gouge?

I believe it was about 4-5 years ago

Do you still have customers that ask for it?

Once in a blue moon, but it's very rare.

Are new Subway employees still trained in the U-Gouge in case I want one?

No, but the customers that want it are always willing to teach my employees! I had one guy want to cut the bread himself.

Was abandoning the U-Gouge a huge decision and a big battle at Subway headquarters?

I was not with Subway at the time, but I can imagine there was quite some battle over it. I hear that some stores are still doing it this way. The people that like swear by more than Mac users swear by their computers.

Are you happy eating the hinge?

Makes no flavor difference, if that's what you are asking. As for it staying together, I'm a fan of the hinge cut. It can hold much more meats and veggies than the u-gouge ever could.

Has anyone asked Jared what he thinks about this?

No idea. Probably somebody has.

Do you think I could take Jared in a fight?

No, Jared's a pansy. He sued Subway a while back because he's no allowed to be seen in public eating anything but Subway, under his contract. He lost that one, so he's back on TV. I've never met the guy myself. He really is just a spokesperson. Years ago, he lost weight by eating too much Subway (you can lose weight by eating too much sand too, doesn't mean it's the right move), but now he's just a tool.


So what have we learned here? That Jared's a pansy, and yet I still couldn't take him. (How does Thom know me so well?)


i saw your update about sandwiches. i will let you know that i worked at Subway back when i was like 15 or something, and again when i first started college. both times i worked there they were still cutting the subs the old way. the old method of cutting subs was referred to as the U-GOUGE. they said subs were to be cut that way to prevent the spillage of sub contents. why do they no longer care if your sandwich spills all over the place? they just don't. Subway now considers it your problem. if you go to subways now, the people there actually know how to do the U-GOUGE, but you have to request it specifically.

Natalie Dee

Natalie, by the way, is my favorite daily internet comic juggernaut.


It’s your responsibility to lead the campaign to bring back the Meatboat. Don’t let this die the uneventful death that cookies in the Happy Meal got.


Dear Steve,

(You no longer have comments! Or, maybe you just aren't opening them
up anymore. Now you have to read crazy emails from me instead!)

I refuse to eat at Subway anymore for two reasons:

1) They gave me a wicked case of food poisoning.

2) The "veggie sub", which is the only sub I felt comfortable eating after the E. Coli Incident, is no good with a side-sliced loaf of bread. As far as I can tell, no one likes the side slice. Everything falls out of the sandwich! It's terrible. I think their wedge system of slicing was perfect. Nothing fell out of the sub. Maybe their sandwiches don't have as many calories as a Big Mac because by the time you get it to your mouth, everything has fallen out.


I used to work at subway (talk about shit jobs) and the reason they started cutting the bread differently was because morons were getting too many veggies and stuff, and then the sub wouldn't close and would leak stuff. When I worked there, I would always cut it the old way if they requested it.


Hey Steve,

I have some theories on the Subway thing (I wish you had comments turned on all the time on your blog, so that I could stalk you better).

I figure they stopped doing the little wedge cut-out for one of the following reasons:

1) When they TOASTED the puzzle-piece-sliced sub bread, the "boat" part wasn't toasted enough and the sliced bit was burnt to a crisp. Market research showed that "Mmmmmm... soft on one side, scorched on the other!" was not a popular slogan.

2) After a tragic wedge-slicing bun incident at one of their stores, Subway was sued by Wendy's when they tried to introduce "Mmmmm... fingery!" as their new slogan. Then they switched to conventional machine slicing.

My ideas notwithstanding, thanks for the giggle your blaming it on Jared gave me. Let's just blame everything on him; he's fucking creepy.


I worked at Subway shortly after they transitioned from the traditional "U-cut" to the modern "hinge" cut. The explanation they gave us on the line was twofold: one, it was faster to do the hinge cut so we could make more sandwiches and two: some market research study discovered that customers believed the hinge-cut sandwiches contained more meat and fillings than the U-cut by looking at them, even though they had the same amount of stuff in them.

For a while we still got folks asking to have their sandwiches cut the old way but considering the turn-over in the food service industry it wasn't long before nobody knew how to make the old style cuts anymore.

By the way, unlike a lot of folks who've worked in fast food and will never eat at the franchise they worked at again because of what they saw behind the scenes I have no qualms about eating at Subway. I mean, you really do see just about
everything when they make it right in front of you. We got a lot of cops coming in who were worried about spit contamination on their burgers.


Hi Steve,

I miss the meat boats, too! Back home (in Canada) when they first started slicing the bread simply in half, a lot of Subway shops would give you the choice of having the "old-fashioned" cut, i.e. the v-shaped wedge cut. I always asked for it because it holds the sandwich fixin's better.

(Of course I've been in Japan for five years now and their favourite Subway Sandwich is "Basil Ham", so needless to say I've not had Subway for five years)

Sandwich-less Canadian Expat


I noticed it too - they used to make a nice well the length of the bun where the fixin's could cuddle up together. I figured some tight-ass started squawking about proper sandwich physics.

BTW - the "make room for the meat" trick works great for hotdogs and BBQ sandwiches, just pinch off a little out of the upper bun.

Long time reader, first time emailer.


Is just me that finds it annoying that the Quiznos' TV ads don't pronounce their toasty tagline the way its written?

Written: "MMMM... TOASTY!"
Spoken: "Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-MMM... TOASTY!"

But... damnit.. that's an extra Mmm!


Hey, Steve! Glad I can finally share a bit of trivia with the man who changed the way I look at YooHoo forever.

The "little boat full of meat" method of cutting was called the U-cut, and it was ditched a few years back when Subway began to redesign its image: fancy new sauces, fancy new breads, and a straight cut through your sandwich. Most of Subway's customers welcomed the new, simpler method of cutting, but a few (myself included) missed the old way. Subway catered to our nostalgia.

Though I haven't been to a Subway lately, I am told that it is still company policy that you can request a U-cut for your sandwich. My problem is that the U-cut was tricky at its finest moment... most of the current generation of Subway employees have probably never heard of the U-cut, let alone mastered its technique.

I'm just curious enough that I think I'll try ordering a U-cut sandwich on my lunch break tomorrow. I'll let you know how that turns out. :)

- Cap'n Curry

Hi Steve,

I was a Sandwich Artist at Subway for several months. I was hired
just a month or so before the switch to the new cut (Summer of 2000).
The old style, where a wedge was cut out of the top of the sandwich
was called the "U-Gouge" because it was supposed to be U-shaped.
Nobody at the Subway I worked at cut it correctly, though. The U was
supposed to stretch the entire length of the bread but most people
pulled up and only trimmed a bit off the top when they reached the end.

The current method is called the "Hinge-Cut" because the bread hinges
open. The bread is supposed to be cut down at a 45 degree angle from
the top corner almost all the way through to the opposite corner. If
the bread's flatter than it's supposed to be, the cut is almost
always wrong (more acute angle, usually). If somebody cut the bread
wrong, then they usually have problems closing the sandwich. To
remedy this, they get creative with the knife used to cut foot-longs
in half and try to slice through all the ingredients and bend the
sandwich around the knife. It can get messy.

Sandwich construction:

U-Gouge: Cheese, Meat, Veggies, Sauce: bottom up, filling the gouge Hinge-Cut: Cheese and Meat on the top half; Veggies, Sauce on the bottom.

Which method do I prefer? I really like the Hinge-Cut but if somebody cuts the bread at the improper angle, well, it goes down-hill from there.

P.S. Did you know that Subway is no longer using the Sub Club stamps? You should be seeing soon a new Sub Club swipe card like an ATM or credit card. Supposedly, it's to cut down on scamming.


You are right that they are cutting the bread differently. I noticed this too but I thought it was just a personal preference.

On a regular sub like a cold cut trio, I've got no problem with the slice and stuff. On a meatball grinder, you need the meatboat to keep those bastards from rolling out on your lap.


Considering your most recent rant regarding Subway, I thought you might get a BELT outta this:

I think your readers need to know about Jared's sordid beginnings.


Click here for The Sneeze Home Page!
Posted by Steven | Archive

I am the person in the top portion of the article, and thought I'd have to clear up one thing. Here's the original quote:


This is simply not true in the slightest. While we do use a special Subway brand meat not found anywhere else produced for us specially by Oscar Meyer to be lower in fat, they are "true" meats. The only exception is the Bologna which is 100% Turkey, and the Cold Cut Trio (now known as Cold Cut Combo). The Ham, Bologna, and Salami in the Cold Cut Trio are also Turkey-based

Posted by: Thom McGrath at July 17, 2005 01:44 PM

Are you implying that the ham and salami going into the cold cut combo is different from that going into other sandwiches? Shouldn't that be disclosed more prominently? I don't think most people are aware of this if it's true.

Posted by: Mark at July 17, 2005 02:02 PM

I'm not implying, I'm stating fact. :P And I agree that it is not disclosed very well. Whenever somebody asks what's in it, *I* tell them it's Turkey, and so do my employees. But this is only 6 out of 20,000+ stores that I'm sure of. Other than that, it's on our menu boards and nutritional guides. To be fair, however, the fine print on the menu boards typically get covered by the holders themselves and are completely unreadable by anybody more than a foot away.

Posted by: Thom McGrath at July 17, 2005 02:34 PM

Hmm, I've never eaten at a Subway. It looks like I missed out on the "meat boat." Unfortunate. :P

Posted by: Dan Bruno at July 17, 2005 03:06 PM

talking about subway it should be a policy that the employers know what different ingredients are. Took this guy a whole minuite standing there deciding which one was swiss cheese

Posted by: vi at July 17, 2005 04:07 PM

Unfortunatly we've only had a Subway close to us for the last year or so, so have not had the experience of the "U-Gouge" but I will be interested to see what they say if I ask for it.

I wonder if the same company policy applies to the U.K.?

Posted by: Kamisori at July 17, 2005 04:28 PM

I am a long time eater of Subways, mostly because it is the only restaraunt within a 10 minute drive of my work place. I've alway enjoyed the sandwiches, both the meat boat and the new version. But after reading about the toaster, I thought maybe there was something at Subway that I was missing out on. So I tried it on my next lunch break. It turns out the only thing I was missing out on was some burnt toast. I think I'll stick with Quizno's for the toasty sub.

Posted by: Molly at July 17, 2005 04:59 PM

Yeah, the toaster is a tricky beast. It's a 1000° combination convection oven and microwave. Sadly, many typical employees don't know or care how to use it right. There are four different settings and each sandwich uses only one of them. When done right, the sandwich is near perfect. When done wrong, you get what Molly has experienced. So it's a trade-off. Quiznos may take forever to toast compare to ours, but it's easier for 16-year-olds just trying to make a couple bucks for Summer.

Posted by: Thom McGrath at July 17, 2005 05:12 PM

I know for a fact that most of the meats at SubWay are not turkey based. I am allergic to turkey and none of the food I have consumed there has made me sick yet.

Posted by: SomGuye at July 17, 2005 06:51 PM

Hmmm, nobody has yet commented on the fact that Subway sandwiches are really just conidment sandwiches. It's no wonder Jared lost weight eating them so much, because each sandwich has about four wafer thin slices of deli meat and a half a slice of wafer thin cheese, oh yeah, cut in half yet again, and then well, all the free toppings of lettuce, tomato, oinions, peppers, pickles, etc. you could want. So basically a salad on a loaf of bread for $8. It's a complete rip off and why I won't eat there any more. It reminds me of that old Burger King slogan... "Where's the beef?"

Posted by: DMC at July 17, 2005 07:49 PM

Ha ha ha... I just took a looked at the toasted Subway photo in the former post and yup... mostly bread, condiments, salad filling, and just barely the image of a slice or two of deli meat in the top left corner. Yup, that's exactly a Subway sandwich alrighty. I wonder what sort of profit they make on an $8 sandwhich with barely any meat or cheese on it. It's gotta be a heck of a lot.

Posted by: DMC at July 17, 2005 07:53 PM

OK, just saw the photo on the Subway website and see that they show tons of meat on the sandwhich... um, so unlike any sandwhich I ever got from Subway. Who are they kidding? I've never been to one single Subway that ever made me a sandwhich with that much meat on it!

Posted by: DMC at July 17, 2005 07:58 PM

It does not matter whether Thom the inside subway guy sez that subway was first in the toasted sandwich battle. Maybe some corporate guy decided at subway to tost the sangwiches but Quiznos beat you all to the marketplace, so you look like you are playing catch up to an up start.

For th record, there is a subway about 100 yards from work and I eat there about 5 times a month. So I am not against them, just pointing out what should be an obvious perception in the public's mind, which is all that matters as far as marketing is concerned.

Posted by: mark` at July 17, 2005 08:19 PM

I really don't like what that health freak Jared's saying about fried chicken with mayo and breading. That's how I LIKE my chicken sandwich.

Posted by: Kevin Walsh at July 17, 2005 08:52 PM

Maybe it's because "my" Subway is out in the sticks , but I've never paid $8 for a sub. I pay $4 & change and I get a 6 inch with 3 thick slices of turkey, 2 slices of cheese, and all the veggies and dressing I want. In addition, I get a bag of chips and a medium Coke, so it's similar in price/quantity to any combo meal from any fast food place, isn't it? I'm not going all Jared and recommending we all eat Subway everyday, but in a pinch I wouldn't exactly call it a ripoff. Unless of course I was on a high protein diet. Then, it would probably suck.

Posted by: Molly at July 17, 2005 09:14 PM

I love the title the holy toast. It's a lot better than toast wars:).

Posted by: Ernie(a Pal of Peanuts) at July 17, 2005 09:46 PM

There are like 10 Subways within close proximity to my house. I must say that compared to any other quick meal, I prefer Subway. Most of the time, I just can't bear to eat some really greasy burgers and the like.... Wait... Alright, nevermind that... I'm starting to sound like that fat, hoagie eating, porno librarian "Jarred "Phlegm Cup" Fogle.... Anyway... Rock the meat boat, baby!!!

Posted by: Dazz at July 18, 2005 02:27 AM

A comment on the toasting and not the cutting. Subway in Australia have just started toasting their subs. Infact, in the last 3 weeks or so. And we get all those crappy american subway ads. I hate Jared :(

Posted by: Dave at July 18, 2005 03:21 AM

Responding to a few here.

The trick to making a sandwich look like it contains more meat for an ad is by folding it into quarters and placing it with the corner facing towards the fold of the sandwich. This makes it look like each piece of meat is actually 4 pieces, even though inside the sandwich there is next to nothing. Gotta love marketing.

Mark is right about Quiznos, but only in some areas. Many places still don't have a Quiznos at all, so in those areas people will believe that Subway came first. My opinion? I don't care.

And $8 dollars sounds more like a Quiznos price to me :P! Actually, Subway is making a few really stupid moves in the coming months that will hand our business over to them. We've already undergone a pricing unification. Most 6-inch sandwiches have gone down, but most footlongs have gone up. Sadly, these new prices are a lot closer to Quiznos new prices. And believe me, there's worse news coming in August, but you won't see Subway advertising it or even making a press release. It'll just... happen.

Posted by: Thom McGrath at July 18, 2005 04:27 AM

"So basically a salad on a loaf of bread for $8. It's a complete rip off and why I won't eat there any more. It reminds me of that old Burger King slogan... "Where's the beef?""

1) Yeah, I noticed that too, but better than a meat-heavy sandwich healthwise, and besides, for a couple bucks more you can order double meat.


2) It was NOT burger king. It was Wendys that had the Where's the Beef slogan/campaign. Of course, I could never get over their square hamburgers.

Posted by: Mike at July 18, 2005 05:02 AM

One thing that never made any sense to me:

How come if you order a turkey breast sub, they give you two (maybe three) slices of meat, but if you order a BMT or Club, they give you 6 slices (2 of each meat) for the same price? Anyone who orders a single sliced-meat type sandwich is getting hosed on their meat quota. (not including the grilled chicken or steak)

- JB

Posted by: JB at July 18, 2005 05:48 AM

Sorry, forgot to mention I was talking six-inchers, not the foot longs.

- JB

Posted by: JB at July 18, 2005 05:50 AM

I dunno which Subway you go to, but you're getting ripped off JB. Keeping with 6-inch formulas here, Turkey should *always* have 3 slices, and a BMT (speaking of which, anybody want to guess what it stands for these days?) should always have 2 Ham, 3 Genoa Salami, and 3 Pepperoni, for a total of 8 pieces. And a BMT should be about 30˘ more than a Turkey.

And to be fair, a slice of turkey weighs 1/3oz, but a slice of ham only weighs 1/4oz - that's why you get 4 slices of ham on a 6-inch ham, and only 3 on turkey. They work out to the same amount. So to be fair, DMC's complaint is about right, considering that 1oz of meat goes on a 6-inch, when a McDonalds QUARTER-POUNDER gives you 8oz. Hmmm....

Posted by: Thom McGrath at July 18, 2005 06:00 AM

Hey Thom!

(Just like it's your website!)

Is it true that official Subway policy is to count out 4 little black olive slices for each sandwich, because they are so expensive? It's not like anyone every really does that, but I got a sub once and was told that when I asked for more olives.

Please clarify the official Subway black olive policy.

Thanks : )


Posted by: Jamie at July 18, 2005 06:40 AM

ok Thom, you've left me hanging twice here now. The Subway website claims some people call the BMT the "biggest, meatiest, tastiest", so I'm guessing that those people all work for the marketing department at Doctor's Associates.
the second is the mystery change in August. I've racked my brain on this one and can only figure that they're going to charge for certain condiments (cheese maybe?) or shorten the sandwiches. Both seem like a bad idea.

Posted by: simon at July 18, 2005 06:44 AM

wait! how can a quarter pounder have half a pound of meat? That's like Mcdonalds giving away free meat.

Posted by: simon at July 18, 2005 06:46 AM

Not to take away from the scintillating debate between the "U Gouge" vs. the "Hinge Cut" (I'm all for whichever approach leads to fewer severed fingers in my food), but does anyone else remember the old fashioned balogne boat? This was a delicacy my friend once told me about and it involved frying (of course) a slice of bologna until it curled up and could serve as a receptacle for mashed potatoes and gravy. Kind of like a hot beef sandwich only sickening.


Posted by: Gary at July 18, 2005 07:16 AM

Good one simon, didn't catch that myself. A quarter pounder should have 4oz! Ha.

BMT could be called either that, or Broolyn-Manhattan Transit. Even I'm not quite sure which one is modern!

Although I'm not a fan of linkage for no reason, I've written about the change in August on my own blog at http://blog.thezaz.com/thom/archives/2005/07/subway_vs_quizn.php - I don't feel like retyping it here in a little comment box on somebody else's blog.

Jamie, there is some debate about that. It is suppose to be 6 olives on a footlong, 3 on 6-inch. However, about 8 months ago I heard that headquarters has abolished that rule because it's too time consuming to count 6 olives. Individual store owners, however, still maintain the rule.

Half Zine. Half Blog. All Subway.

Posted by: Thom McGrath at July 18, 2005 07:18 AM

wow. that is a bad idea. I imagine the subway loyalists will just learn to interject before the standard complement is applied, but what a pain.

also, I think ending the sub club was a bad idea. I only eat Subway about 1x a month, but people at work that eat there several times a week seem pretty fired up.

Posted by: simon at July 18, 2005 07:24 AM

I LOVED the U-Gouge (i feel a little silly calling it that. Meat-boat is far superior). The only Subway sandwich I ever ate, and ever WILL eat is the disgusting melange of mayo and pollock called the seafood and crab. You take a putty knife and spread that stuff around. MMMM!!!!! Now, the semi-liquid, not quite solid mixture that the seafood is, you need a trough to hold it in! I don't know, nor do I care how this effects other kinds of Subway sandwiches, but when I want a seafood sandwich, gouge me out a U, and fill it with bottom feeding suction eel andwhatever else comes up in the net. Just make sure to mix it with mayo.

Posted by: peculiar hailstone at July 18, 2005 07:27 AM

I must respond to Thom's comment on how Quizno's actually copied Subway with toasting their bread.


I have been eating toasted submarines for my whole freaking life (I'm 24) from little mom and pop submarine shops. So I think it's safe to say that the corporate conglomerates copied the mom and pop stores.

And if I have misunderstood anything, please let me know so I can punch you in the face.

Posted by: amanda at July 18, 2005 07:37 AM

Actually, The Sub Club should still be active in all markets in either the old stamp method, or the new swipe card (which is far superior to stamps). Each market will hold a vote by October 1st to determine if the program should be eliminated entirely, or replaced with the the swipe method. This is formally known as The Subway Card. Either way, the stamps will be dead October 1st.

Sorry about your seafood experience, hailstone. Sounds like some store doesn't know how to make seafood! All is well, however, because it's such a terrible seller than many markets have outlawed it.

Posted by: Thom McGrath at July 18, 2005 07:37 AM

So how do you get one of those swipe cards? My subway has said nothing of this, only that the stamps have been phased out. So, based on what you said, Thom, I should be expecting my own little Subway bar code soon? How is that gonna work? One of the things I've always liked about being forced to eat Subway several times a week is at least it amounted to free food once in a while. I have to admit I was kind of disappointed that they were doing away with it. I guess all hope is not lost, after all :)

Posted by: molly at July 18, 2005 08:04 AM

They may not be participating in the test market yet. But here's how it works so far. Every whole 50˘ you spend, you get one point. So 49˘ = 0, 50˘ = 1, 99˘ = 1. Get it? You may then redeem those points towards nearly anything on the menu, without being required to purchase a drink or anything else. You can even use the points to take money off of a sandwich, and pay the difference.

Anything about it, however, may change. And remember, it may not come full swing at all. If it does, you'll *purchase* (for like 25˘ or something) a little plastic card like any other credit card that you can reuse as much as you like. If lost, it's possible to get your points back, but a pain in the ass. The swipe card *will* work at any Subway in the world.

Posted by: Thom McGrath at July 18, 2005 08:11 AM

We still get cookies in the McD's Happy Meals.

Posted by: anna at July 18, 2005 09:02 AM

Now that the mystery of the U-cut has been answered - any idea wtf is with the butchered lettuce? Shredded lettuce is probably oneof the most annoying things sandwich-wise. It gets all over the place...

Posted by: emhgee at July 18, 2005 09:07 AM

Did you really mean to say that Steve couldn't take Jared in a fight, even though Jared's a pansy? I can't figure it out. Is it a typo? Did you mean it to be as funny as it is? Or can Steve really not take a pansy in a fight?

Re the U-gouge: I HATED that thing. Couldn't hold as much stuff. Made it seem like you were eating a big loaf of bread instead of a sandwich. I only started eating at Subway occasionally after they switched to the hinge cut.

Posted by: Koolray at July 18, 2005 09:18 AM

To be perfectly honest, I misread the question. I read it as "Do you think Jared could win a fight." - Answer make more sense now?

Did it really affect my answer? No, just my wording :P

If I were to hunt to Jared, would Steve be up to it?

Posted by: Thom McGrath at July 18, 2005 09:40 AM

Whatever happened to the Quiznos Sponge-Monkeys? I think they could kick both Steve's and Jared's ass!

Posted by: Zclone at July 18, 2005 10:27 AM

They are at rathergood.com -- where they were born.

Posted by: Steve at July 18, 2005 10:32 AM

Well, after a little hands-on research ( I ate @ Subway today) I can say quite accurately that in Canada, a 6 inch turkey sub with one layer of meat (3 slices) and a 6 inch BMT with three layers of meat (2 ham, 3 salami, 3 pepperoni) are the same price - $3.99 plus tax.

This sucks.

- JB

Posted by: JB at July 18, 2005 10:34 AM

$3.99 for a six-inch? Wow. Turkey is $3.19 here, and BMT is only $3.29. I personally disagree with that little of a price difference, however.

Posted by: Thom McGrath at July 18, 2005 10:38 AM

You must be in Americaland. We pay premium up here. Turkey must be difficult to get up here in the barren wastelands of Canada.

Posted by: JB at July 18, 2005 10:51 AM

YOu know, the whole "Toasters from Coke" thing strikes me as odd, because I have never ever been to a subway that sold Coke products. Every subway I go to has Pepsi, Mountain Dew, etc.

Posted by: Zack at July 18, 2005 11:05 AM

OH, also the subways near me only started toasting in the last 6 months to a year.

Posted by: Zack at July 18, 2005 11:07 AM

Thom, you're a riot - I wish you managed our local Subway!

Posted by: Mustapha at July 18, 2005 11:09 AM

U cut vs hinge...I like the hinge better, with the u cut, the meat would touch my hands..I don't like that..Sadly, I used to be a huge Subway fan, but I switched to Quizzno's, now I like Panera or Chipotle better than either of them

Posted by: Kathy at July 18, 2005 11:09 AM

Glad to finally know why our Subway just switched to Coke. I thought they'd just turned into fascists trying to destroy my Mt. Dew addiction. As for hinge vs. u, I griped when they changed, but I think in the long run I like the hinge cut better.

Missing the stamps already. Haven't been offered a swipe card. I eat at Subway a lot, so I'd like to get something in return. You know, besides the food.

Posted by: trinamick at July 18, 2005 11:56 AM

When i was in high school, my school had off campus lunches allowed. Meaning that when the lunch bell rang we could leave the school grounds for the hour and eat whereever. Me and my friends use to eat at Subway, ahhh i miss the u-gouge...but we use to eat outside and with left over bread would hide Alka seltzer in it and feed it to the many "sea gulls" that would land around us.....needless to say we always waited for the explosion but I don't ever recall seeing one.

Posted by: Nick at July 18, 2005 12:01 PM

zack, I thought that myself. All the subways in my area have pepsi too...

Posted by: dee at July 18, 2005 12:20 PM

...also, we still have stamps, and that makes me happy.

Posted by: dee at July 18, 2005 12:23 PM

I find Jarod's fish lips a bit discomforting. He sued Subway for not letting him eat other kinds of food in public? I suppose it would make him a bit of a hyprocrite, telling everyone that they're disgusting to even think of eating a crispy chicken sandwich with mayo on it, while he's going through the drive-thru himself. Maybe Subway should crack the whip and not let him eat any Subway sandwiches that have over 7 grams of fat.

Posted by: Laura at July 18, 2005 12:56 PM

I agree with koolray...I never did like the "meat boat" cut because it was just a bread sandwich with a light topping of bread that invariably slid down to the other end and fell off. Drake's in Port Angeles, WA is the best mom-and-pop sandwich shop and I don't understand how the Subway down the block competes. We don't need no stinkin' Jared!

Posted by: dangergrrl at July 18, 2005 01:26 PM

Actuall, I think what we learned here today is that Subways says that Jared is a tool.

Posted by: UncleJR at July 18, 2005 02:08 PM

Random--I just sneezed while reading The Sneeze.

Posted by: Stacia at July 18, 2005 02:51 PM

I still ask for the meat boat everytime I go to Subway which was about once a week until they endend the stamps program. Now, I go maybe once a month and have been visiting Quizno's much more now. Way to alienate your customer base, subway. As for the meat boat, its become quite common for the employee to have no clue what to do anymore. If/when I can no longer get the meat boat, then its splitsville for me and Subway. As for Jared, I graduated from the same high school as him a couple of years after him. I got the hell out of Indiana, but I know people who knew him at IU and everything I've heard jives with that website. I even ran into Jared at a liquer store in Indy once while I was visiting my folks. I wanted to kick him in the balls, but I resisted, ignoring him instead. The owner fawned over him though, which was amusing. Jared acted all high and mighty, like he was entitled to the attention. Loser.

Posted by: akak at July 18, 2005 03:00 PM

The only Subway sandwich I really liked was the Chicken Fajita. They had a ton of this really messy red sauce filled with chicken chunks, peppers and onions. Fill the meat boat with that and I was in heaven. I would get one every week. That was until 91 or so when they mysteriously vanished from the menu. They are reincarnate a "Chicken Fajita" wannabe every once in a while but don't be fooled it's not even close to the same thing.

Posted by: Troy at July 18, 2005 04:20 PM


Why the heck do I still have to drink crappy old Diet Pepsi then when I go to subway? I like Diet Coke way better.

Steve Will you please pass this on to Thom.


Posted by: Carrie at July 18, 2005 04:23 PM

I am Thom's fiancee and I have to admit I do like the "meat boat". I think I just like that everthing is all together in a huge hole. I don't know. It just tastes different to me. As far as Jared goes. I don't give a rats ass. Then there is the Quizno's baby. I don't really get it. Is it soppose to be cute? Aw well just a thought.

Posted by: Kelly at July 18, 2005 05:35 PM

I've had Subway sandwiches with the old U cut and the new cut. Neither tasted very good and it has nothing to do with the way the damn bread is cut. If I want a fast food sandwich, I go to Blimpies. Better bread, better cold cuts, better everything, except I don't think you can get cookies instead of chips in a combo meal. I stopped getting combo meals anyway since everyone has/had Pepsi products. Bottled & canned Pepsi sucks enough; fountain Pepsi is just cruel.

Posted by: Liz at July 18, 2005 07:06 PM

My opionion is that Blimpies's meats are WAY too dry. And soda is soda.

Posted by: Kelly at July 18, 2005 07:11 PM

The $8 pricing was for the foot long with soda and chips, with tax in DC (ok so Ididn't figure in the 10% tax). Eating a half Subway is like eating a cracker for a meal, and the full Subway isn't too much more filling either. Seriously - we're talking about a few thin slices of meat and some lettuce folks. And why can't they give anyone a few FULL slices of cheese either instead of the tiny cut up half or quarter pieces? Jeez. Would it really kill them to give out two or three full slices? So far the only ~good~ sandwiches I've had in this area have been from the newly opened "Roly Poly" in College Park MD. That place beats out both Subway and Quzinos combined - at least in regards to FLAVOR and VARIETY and most bang for the buck. Sorry, but I'm just not that into paying for free condiments on bread and not getting enough deli meat for the price. Oh yeah, and I guess it was Wendy's who said, "Where's the beef?" but I think the point was made. Subway sandwiches in general contain very little deli meat and cheese for the overall price. If you like it that way, then it works for you, but me personally, I'm a native NY'er and I know how a deli hoagie should be made, just as I know how a real pizza should be made too. ;)

Posted by: DMC at July 18, 2005 07:28 PM

Ok, if you don't think a footlong can fill you uo....wow. I can't even eat that.A deli on the other hand is like a snack. It's nothing. I havn't really had anything but the normal sandwich shop subs (Subway, Quizno's, blimpies). So I can't really compare. But I have to say I do like Subway. Even though after working there for almost 2 years, I think I might be getting a little sick of it.

Posted by: Kelly at July 18, 2005 07:32 PM

In the middle of all this quasi-Subway bashing, I'd like to point out that I'm an official fan of Subway-- (band-wagon toasting and Jared's phlegm cup aside.)

And If you didn't click on the final link in the post, you're probably wondering, what the hell is the phlegm cup thing??

Posted by: Steve at July 18, 2005 07:49 PM

Back from work. Here's the response(s) - I actually think there was only one question from Carrie.

Your store is still transitioning. They are well on their way to meeting that March deadline... oh wait...

Don't fret though, it'll happen. One of our stores is still behind as well. It sucks for the owners because although Coke bought us a Toaster, we have to purchase the soda equipment from Pepsi (since we paid a small fee to use it while with them). The stores that make out like bandits are the ones that always used Coke - they simply get a free toaster!

And Mustapha, was there sarcasm in your post?

Posted by: Thom McGrath at July 18, 2005 08:35 PM

Here up in Canada, we have a place called Mr. Sub. We still have Subway and Quizno's but we have a third option as well when it comes to sub selection. Although, I must point out the fact that Mr. Sub seems like a run-down version of Subway and they don't use gloves when making their sandwiches. That's why their sandwiches are always full of handy goodness. I don't even want to know what is in their sub sauce.

Posted by: Teddy at July 18, 2005 09:03 PM

Is it just me, or is all this talk about "meat boats", "U-gouges", and "foot-longs" DEAD SEXY?!?

Posted by: Leslie Irish Evans at July 18, 2005 09:06 PM

hee hee. it is dead sexy. like the zombies. but with sammiches. mmmmmm.... (one long m sound) zombie sammiches. (drooling) yes. tasty.

this thread has been wayyy too entertaining

Posted by: nebbs at July 18, 2005 09:55 PM

my favorite sub was the chicken parmesan at Sobiks in florida..
and i wish to god they had panera in arizona.... DMC, go try panera, there is at least one in rockville and aspen hill

Posted by: neilt at July 18, 2005 10:05 PM

Holy crap! I just read this whole thing...all the comments and everything...I can't believe it.

Anyway, I went to Quizno's once...all my meat fell out. =D( Subway's always been good to me...though I have to frown because of the Coke thing...Pepsi is better.
...wait, I quit soda...what am I whining about?

Posted by: Skeeve at July 19, 2005 12:26 AM

the only thing i will eat at subway is the veggie sub. i can't stomach deli meats, no matter WHAT is in them.

i won't go into a quiznos, either. not after a few stores in boston had hepititus swimming around in it.

and i agree, jared even LOOKS like a a pansy. he's one ugly dude.

Posted by: honey bunny at July 19, 2005 07:00 AM

how come i'm forced to pay $1.35 when i get a 6 inch veggie sub with my card that's filled with subway points? i tell them every time that no, i don't want a drink. all i want is my goddamn veggie sub and they STILL make me pay $1.35 for a soda that i refuse to take.

kind of pointless to have a "free sub card" when you have to pay anyway. even if it IS only $1.35...

Posted by: honey bunny at July 19, 2005 07:13 AM

What bothers me about subway, is that it takes about 10 pounds of garbage to make me a damn sub. Everything is individually wrapped. The meat is wrapped in plastic and wax paper, the cheese is warpped in plastic. The server puts on a new set of plastic gloves for every damn sub they make. It is too damn wasteful. damn damn damn. Every other sub shop I go to doesn't produce that much waste to make a sub. Oh and the other thing I don't like is I can't get a cat fish and green bean sub, what kind of sub shop doesn't offer cat fish and green beans?

Posted by: endothermal at July 19, 2005 07:50 AM

cat fish and green bean sub.

are you from the backwaters of Louisiana?

I guess I shouldn't knock something before I try it.

too bad. BLECH.

Posted by: amanda at July 19, 2005 08:30 AM

Kelly... Thom...
Both workin' at the local Subway. Sparks fly.
What do you expect when the conversation revolves around foot-longs and meat boats?
Do you two ever ... ?

Posted by: koolray at July 19, 2005 08:34 AM

For all those poeple who don't like the hindge cut because everything falls out:


Posted by: Darren at July 19, 2005 09:22 AM


"jared is just a tool"

Posted by: el toro at July 19, 2005 10:06 AM

Man, the rage I feel every time I see that wide mouthed Subway spokes thing named Jared is intense. He wouldn't stand a chance against the blinding fury that would insue if I saw him in public.

Eat fresh!

Posted by: Matt at July 19, 2005 10:37 AM


If we do that, we could get TNS (Taco Neck Syndrome)! Have we learned nothing from Shaq?

Posted by: Zclone at July 19, 2005 11:00 AM

so this overweight guy picks out a somewhat healthy way to eat at a local fast food place, loses the flab, ends up making money out of it all, AND gets famous in the process,..... we should all be so lucky to be considered a tool.

i'm not a big Jared fan, but look in the mirror, you don't think we'd get sick of looking at YOUR ugly mug? or maybe you a have a whiny voice, or speech impediment that we could make fun of?, or probably a ridiculous hairstyle?

in the words of rodney king- "can't all us subway lovers just get along?"

Posted by: felix at July 19, 2005 11:21 AM

just reread my above post... sorry, too much caffiene in my system....jared is indeed a pansy.

Posted by: felix at July 19, 2005 11:39 AM


how did you know about my ridiculous haircut? I'm so ashamed.

Posted by: simon at July 19, 2005 12:03 PM

DMC there is also a Panera in Columbia, MD, much closer to you than Rockville, if you live in college Park...Don't go to the Quiznos in columbia on Columbia Gateway Drive though, it's kind of icky...

Posted by: Kathy at July 19, 2005 12:14 PM

The subway by my house used to have really cute girls working there. Now they are all ugly. Eating subway sandwiches makes you ugly.

Eating Togo's apparently makes you fat.

Eating Quiznos....not sure yet. I will have to observe a little longer.

Posted by: David at July 19, 2005 12:26 PM

The best subs I've had, mom and pop aside, are Erbert & Gerbert's. They pack more meat...

Probably more vegetables, as well. I don't know. But what I do know is this:

They COMBINE THE U-GOUGE AND HINGE CUT! Sort of. Actually, then hinge cut the bread, then scoop out some in top and bottom to make a nice meat pocket (hehe). Really, though. The best part is that they don't throw the scoopings away, they wrap them up with you sub. The scoopings are actually refered to as guts or 'gutz' if you drink Mountain Dew.

A roast beef sub with some warm slightly doughy guts wrapped up next to it is awesome.

The names and stories of the subs are also cool. They include: THE BORNK, THE BONEY BILLY, THE TULLIUS, THE GIRF, THE NARMER, and others.

website: http://www.erbertandgerberts.com

No, I don't work for them, I'm just moving to a town that has one.

Posted by: sub human at July 19, 2005 12:32 PM

Eating at Blimpie's makes you beautiful. AND lucky. Really. It has been documented. Try it and see, you'll be glad you did!

Posted by: LL Locke at July 19, 2005 04:11 PM

No. He works at all six. I only work at one. I don't see him much at work and we really don't talk about Subway. And no we didn't meet because of Subway.

I have to agree with sub human erbert and gerberts is good. I have only had it once though.

Posted by: Kelly at July 19, 2005 04:38 PM

I can't believe I spent over 15 mins reading all the comments on subway... hahahahaha

anyway, my 2 cents worth over here in singapore (yeah we have subway too). It really sucks big time. It's not only expensive, but its mostly manned by surly looking staff who always behaves as if they'd rather do anything else than prepare your bmt. havent seen the new toaster yet but everything's done in a nifty black looking MICROWAVE oven that needless to say, pretty much makes your sandwich soggy and sad looking.

general rule of thumb is; only eat subways if you dont wanna join the queues at macdonalds or burger king. health wise, i say the chicken foldover at macs beats every other bread/sandwich/burger joint here in singapore flat out.

Posted by: Jadenster at July 19, 2005 08:43 PM

My brother works at Subway, and I work near where he does, but for a lot better pay. Since I'm so close, I always go there to get discounts because I'm cheap like that.

The guy making my sub today didn't know what the U-Gouge cut was. I explained it to him, but he was just an asshole to me about it because he knew me.

The End.

Posted by: Cassie at July 19, 2005 09:56 PM

We used to have a Subway near college, bu it closed down before I went there. Poor hygene or something. Come to think of it, the cinema near me closed because it has flee's. Note to all: London is dirty.

Posted by: [ICR] at July 20, 2005 02:39 AM

You know what's even more annoying than the slicing method? How it seems like the employies have all been trained to SPRINKLE olives on your sandwitch. You get a 6" and there's like 5 olives on it. A 12" will have like 8.

And it doesn't seem as bad anymore, but it's like they used to put TONS of lettuce on there. It's like they were trying to drown it in lettuce.

Posted by: Bredward at July 20, 2005 02:43 AM

WHAT the HELL does B.M.T. stand for???? I've asked several S.W. employees - not one could tell me! Big Meat Torpedo? Bodacious Mouthfull of Tepidness? Somebody help!

Posted by: Michelle at July 20, 2005 04:19 AM

Michelle, sorry to sound a little rude, but that question has already been answered. Although I really like Big Meat Torpedo myself.

It's either Biggest, Meatiest, and Tastiest or Brooklyn-Manhattan Transit.

I'm not sure if anybody knows for sure. It began as Transit, but changed to Tastiest after Subway ditched the whole New York subway rails theme. But I have heard that it's been changed back since the name is just downright stupid. They were really trying to fit something into the same letters.

Big Meat Torpedo... that's a good one.

Posted by: Thom McGrath at July 20, 2005 05:04 AM

My favorite sandwich has always been the pizza sub. I used to get really good ones from a local mom n pop place before I went to college. A few days into college I had a craving for a pizza sub, so my room mate and I headed out to find some. The only place we could find was Subway so we gave it a try. Afterward, my fried and I decided that the Subway pizza sub sucked, and was probably the worst ever. So the next day my room mate says, "Want to go to Subway?" I said sure. So we went and got pizza subs. Which still sucked. The next day, we were back at Subway again. Even today, some 10 years later I'm still eating Subway pizza subs. (which arent on the menu. You have to wait for a cute girl to be working and flirt with her to get her to make you one) After becoming somewhat close to the manager of the regular Subway, (close in that she says Hi when I walk in) I told her about this story and she said it was because they put opium in the sauce.

Posted by: Alex at July 20, 2005 05:40 AM

Am I the only one that says hoagie?

Posted by: Alyssa at July 20, 2005 07:27 AM

no...bill cosby....and umm thats about it.

Posted by: David at July 20, 2005 10:08 AM

When I was 18, I got down to 110 lbs. eating a 12-inch Veggie Delight sub for lunch and some gin and cocaine for dinner. I should be their shill instead of Jared, dammit!

Posted by: Jonathan at July 20, 2005 10:23 AM

Damnit Steve! After reading all this sub talk I'm gonna have to get me a sub...
Does anyone want anything while I'm out? 'Cause I'm not going out twice.
Oh and sorry to hear about your rude awakening, getting a rock to the knee would suck a whole lot. At least he didn't get you in the crotch.

Posted by: Jen at July 20, 2005 11:29 AM

yeah, get me a 6 inch meatball on parmesan bread.

and a rock in the nut sack would not be good first thing in the morning.

like I would know.

Posted by: amanda at July 20, 2005 11:34 AM

i believe BMT stands for "BEATS MCDONALDS TRASH"

Posted by: Kathy at July 20, 2005 11:56 AM

ever since discovering the heaven that is Potbelly's, I have never returned to subway. Do yourself a favor and find one...

On a totally unrelated topic, I've frequented this site for quite some time but didn't realize until today that there is a link to the guster site. thanks for that, it's great stuff.

Posted by: amanda at July 20, 2005 12:22 PM

Meat Boat, U-Gouge, Meat Pocket, Footlong, Nut Sack, Big Meat Torpedo. God we all need to get laid more!

Posted by: Tony at July 20, 2005 12:29 PM


that was funny.

Posted by: amanda at July 20, 2005 01:13 PM

What I hate are the Subway commercials where Jared is saying that they "doubled the menu" by just toasting the damn subs. They didn't double the menu. What a crock. If they add artichokes to the condiment selection, will that triple the menu? That commercial really pisses me off.

Posted by: Jennypoo at July 20, 2005 01:32 PM

I gotta say a few things...

one, sure Jared phlegmed in a cup and kept it next to his bed, but there are worse bodily fluids to keep in a cup next to his bed. I'm not defending him really (him and his aides freak me out), but you can't deny my logic.

two, did anyone realize that Jared seems to be the cockiest son of a bitch in the world? I mean, I don't particularly like other fast food restaraunts (I don't particularly like Subway either), but to claim

"Here's something else you won't find at other fastfood places - Meat."

is kinda dumb, at least I think so.

three, I would just like to give a shout out to my favorite subway sandwich, may it never die:

Roasted Chicken with Cheese, no peppers extra onions and olives.

I've never had a problem getting extra olives.

Posted by: Matt at July 20, 2005 02:28 PM

Oh, I forgot one thing, although the Subway is generally better, Quiznos has much better marketting... I like the first comercial for Quiznos that I saw

"Egad! You've been cursed with the legs of a goat!"
"No! These are pants!"
"I'm getting out of here..."

"Quiznos, we're kind of like that first guy who wore pants. MMMMM... Toasty!"

Sure, Quiznos claim to being the "first" has been rebutted, I always found that comercial to be funny. That is all.

Posted by: Matt at July 20, 2005 02:31 PM

Well, according to "The Princess Bride", B.M.T. stands for Bacon, Mutton and Tomato... That's why I found Subway's new sandwitch 'interesting"...

Posted by: Bredward at July 20, 2005 04:36 PM

Hi everyone. just had to throw in my 2 bits:

First of all, IMHO the meat boat was way better ... when Subway started the hinge cut I stopped going there as much. Ditto with the subway theme (I mean geeze, the place is called "Subway" for crying out loud! are you too good for your own name?!) ... Subway was one of those places you went to in middle school (early 90's for me) that just kind of lost its appeal when they tried to get classy ... anyway hearing about them phasing out the stamps is just breaking my heart.

I live in Japan too and the Subways here are crazy ... not to mention expensive! We should be so lucky to have $8 subs ...

Thom: You're awesome! this thread wouldn't even be half as good without you.

Steve: You're awesome too! This site wouldn't even be here without you.

I don't think of myself as highly susceptible to advertising, but when I saw the Quiznos sponge monkey commercial I went out and bought a sub there. We were singing that song at work for weeks ... Brilliant.

I haven't heard mention of Jimmy John's, which I also enjoy very much ... (Could this possibly be a Michigan thing? I don't know) ...

sorry for the long post!

Posted by: Josh at July 20, 2005 07:57 PM

Personally I prefer Mr. Sub. (Which may be a Canadian thing.) I've always gotten better service (I have yet to find a subway where the kid behind the counter wasn't an asshole), cheeper food, better subs, etc. there.
I usually order the tuna sub (which they make with white albacore instead of whatever bargain basment "tuna paste" stuff subway uses.) and at subway they just give you a thin little layer of tuna (and I'm not kidding when I say paste...), although I'm not complaining - from what I can taste I don't think I want any more.
Mr. Sub also makes some tasty Greek bread.

Posted by: Jen at July 21, 2005 09:03 AM

Bredward, I hate to be a stickler for movie quotes - but it's actually M.L.T. miracle Max was talking about (mutton lettuce and tomato).
You'll have to forgive me, but it is my favorite movie.

Posted by: Jane at July 21, 2005 09:10 AM

I personally love when Fezzick and Inigo are rhyming together......

Fezzick, are those rocks ahead?

If there are, we'll all be dead!

classic. and if you don't love it I'll make you love it.

Posted by: amanda f. at July 21, 2005 09:47 AM

"and if you don't love it I'll make you love it."

that's awesome.

Posted by: Steve at July 21, 2005 09:59 AM

Mr Sub has Grilled Subs now... I guess they are trying to stave off the "toasted fever" by grilling their subs...

"So... I heard you guys, uhh, grill your buns now."

"Yes we do."

"...Must hurt, HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa!!"

the commercials kinda dumb, but its no worse then the other drivel that stands for sub advertising these days - BRING BACK THE GOATMAN QUIZNOS... that little baby freaks me out.

Posted by: Matt at July 21, 2005 10:54 AM

Probably my last response, because there's becoming less and less to respond to.

I don't see why everybody gets so upset about our Tuna these days. A little while ago, I could understand it - our Tuna mix was ridiculous. These days, 5.375lb Tuna + 1/2 Gallon Mayo = one batch. Each scoop is 1.25oz x 4 scoops = 5oz mix. A footlong Turkey only has 2 oz of meat. If you exclude the mayo, then you have 3oz of Tuna on a footlong. That's more meat than Turkey, yet they are the same price. So why is Tuna getting picked on so much? Because it can be spread?

Posted by: Thom McGrath at July 21, 2005 11:44 AM

Why is it that there are so many fast food chains in the U.S. named for fatasses? Blimpies, Rolly Polly, Potbellies, etc. Someone needs to open a pie store called Lardass!

Back on topic. I worked at Subway in the mid-90s and found that the U-Gouge was difficult to master. I ruined a few loaves that way. I do however prefer the U-Gouge to the Hinge. It just made it all the more unique in my mind. Anyone can do a hinge cut (and they do), but a U-Gouge, is truly a work of art. I will have to ask for one, just to see if they know what I am talking about.

Anyone else remember when the sub club cards had 24 stamp spaces on them and you could either redeem 12 for a 6" or 24 for a footlong? You didn't even have to buy a drink back then. Those were the days.

Oh and yeah, BMT is Brooklyn-Manhattan Transit, thus fitting in with the subway theme.

Posted by: Steve at July 21, 2005 11:50 AM

to me- Tuna is a conundrum.

what is a conundrum? I have no freakin clue.

It doesn't matter if you even make your own tunafish at home- it all comes out pasty. Or squishy. Or liquidy. Depending on how you like it.

People are picking on Subway's tunafish because they can. That's all. We all need something to make fun of.

Posted by: amanda f. at July 21, 2005 11:54 AM

Sorry to bash your tuna Thom. Nothing personal dude. It's just that Subway's tuna is awful.
Like I said, I'm really not compaining at the lack of tuna - what I've gotten was gross, I don't want more of it. Here's a question, are you guys using a no-name type tuna?
I'll admit I'm a food snob. I'm not a picky eatter, but I love food and I enjoy an eating experiance that doesn't leave me wishing I hadn't eaten at all. And don't get me wrong, I have nothing against no-name type foods. There are plenty of food stuff's that can be purchaced cheaply without there being any real difference from the high priced stuff, tuna just isn't one of them. (If I have to mix stuff with my tuna just to kill the taste, it's not a good thing.)
Oh and Amanda f., I've never had this tuna problem you're having. Seriously, the only time I've ever seen this happen is with the bargain tuna.
No, I'm not obsessed with Tuna, really, honest. It's just that besides the veggi sub it's the only thing I can order... I guess the seafood sub is there, but to be honest that sub just kind of scares me.

Posted by: Jen at July 21, 2005 04:44 PM

Thom, one more question... Has Subway ever considered getting some more (for lack of a better term) exotic toppings? (such as hummus, baba gannouj, tzatziki, etc.)

Posted by: Jen at July 21, 2005 04:49 PM

I just wanted to add to an earlier comment about Mr. Sub not using gloves... I prefer it. I hate all these places that make their employees put on gloves. How do I know where those gloves have been? And damned right it's wasteful... like we need more plastic to throw in the landfills.
And to all those people who get grossed out by non-glove wearing places, I just gotta say - do you HONESTLY think that all the cooks in the restuarants (where they cook behind closed doors) are all wearing plastic gloves?
I can't even say that I honestly believe that they've all carefully washed their hands with soap and water or that they aren't spitting in the food or picking food up off the floor and serving it to me.
Just be happy they're making you're food right in front of you so you can make sure there's limited spit and floor food being put in your sandwich. Besides, ingesting germs is good for you - gives your immune system a workout. Stop being such a pansy.

Posted by: Joe at July 21, 2005 05:12 PM

Good service

Posted by: Frank Johnson at July 21, 2005 09:53 PM

Oooooo, lots of information to throw in here. We'll start from Jen.

Our Tuna is made by Kraft. We use pouches, so it is not packed in oil or water. This is because people have complained that our Tuna was too "soupy" in the past, so by ensuring there is no excess water or oil, it helps keep it thicker. Now, Kraft isn't a no-name brand... but when it comes to Tuna, they aren't exactly the leader :P

We have tried more "exotic" toppings in the past. They were met with horrible results. About a year ago when Subway upgraded their Salads, we also added Chopped Romaine Lettuce, Diced Eggs, Bacon Bits, Baby Spinach, Feta Cheese, Carrots, Sliced Almonds, and Croutons. Today, only Carrots and Baby Spinach remain. Other parts of the world carry toppings for that region. For example, many Subways in the southwestern U.S. carry Avocado.

Joe (and everybody else) this is going to surprise you. Being a certified food-saftey operator, I know one important fact:

Gloves are for customer service only.

They serve no purpose for keeping bacteria out of food. All non-medical use gloves (like the ones Subway uses) are porous, so bacteria can easily pass through. That's why in my stores, I write people up for not washing their hands enough.

And yes, "real" cooks don't use gloves. They know what I know, and also that gloves melt near stoves.

Posted by: Thom McGrath at July 22, 2005 05:55 AM

I think my last post was misunderstood, I have yet to find the perfect "tunafish", no matter what brand it is. And it depends on who is making it, because on top of name brand/no-name brand tuna- someone is going to put too much mayo, not enough mayo, too much relish, not enough relish, etc. etc. Hence the squishy, soupy, pasty tunafish.

Tunafish is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get.

Posted by: amanda f. at July 22, 2005 07:28 AM

Gloves!?! We don't need no stinking gloves.

In RI they have something called a Hot Weiner. It's like a hot dog. When making Hot Weiners, the cook will stack them up his arm... it's hard to explain, so the following link will give you a better idea.

Everytime I eat a Hot Weiner I think to myself 'I hope the guy washed his arm today.'

As for subs, up in the NE we have D'Angelo Sandwich Shops. They were the best (aside from mom&pop operations) until they were bought out by a major corporate entity.

Posted by: Zclone at July 22, 2005 10:47 AM

note on the parmesean bread at Subway. I was there the other day when they were making it...well let me tell you they dont deserve to call that parmesean. It is the regular old italian bread, but when it is about 1/2 way thru the baking process they take the bread out and put like 5 pieces of parmasean cheese on it and then continue baking. Seriously. The amount the lady pinched between his thumb and fingers she used on 6 loaves of bread

Posted by: Carrie at July 22, 2005 11:29 AM

Speaking of "exotic" toppings, in a town that is near me, there is a subway, and they have pineapple to put on the subs! apparently enough people requested it that they started ordering it. The time I saw it, I wasn't feeling adventurous to try it, and I don't usually go to that subway, but...yeah, I thought it was weird.

...everytime i read the new posts on this topic I just want to run out and go to subway. Mmmm, honey oat bread.....

Posted by: dee at July 22, 2005 12:23 PM

Subway needs to start ordering their meat from Amazon.com. I just learned today that Beef Baloney and Spam are available there (thanks to Steve's blog.) It will probably be fresher that way:P Perhaps Jared can order some bread and meat online. He won't even have to walk his fat ass to Subway.

Posted by: Scott at July 22, 2005 12:35 PM

Carrie, your comment doesn't make sense. Parmesan Oregano bread was discontinued a while ago. You may be thinking of the Italian Herbs and Cheese bread. And we have never ever sprinkled parmesan cheese on bread. On the Herbs and Cheese, however, we sprinkle half an ounce of Monterey Jack & Cheddar on it before it goes into the oven.

And all of our breads start as either white or wheat. We simply manipulate it into the other breads.

Posted by: Thom McGrath at July 22, 2005 01:09 PM

sorry that is what I ment was the italian herbs and cheese. The subway by me is like cheap then cause it is so much less than 1/2 ounce. It is literally like a pinch worth. Very sad. I think cheese I think yum. I see that i cry. I do have to give props to my subway I asked them to carry baked doritoes and the next time i came in it was there. But the one bad thing is the lettuce has brown edges. I mentioned and they said that all the lettuce had come that way lately. Yuckky!

Posted by: carrie at July 22, 2005 01:14 PM

sorry that is what I ment was the italian herbs and cheese. The subway by me is like cheap then cause it is so much less than 1/2 ounce. It is literally like a pinch worth. Very sad. I think cheese I think yum. I see that i cry. I do have to give props to my subway I asked them to carry baked doritoes and the next time i came in it was there. But the one bad thing is the lettuce has brown edges. I mentioned and they said that all the lettuce had come that way lately. Yuckky!

Posted by: carrie at July 22, 2005 01:14 PM

Thanks for the info Thom.
Kraft sells tuna? (they obviously aren't a brand leader if I'm shocked by this info.)
I must have been asleep the day Subway tried out the "exotic" topings... sigh. (Though the Subway down the street does have pineapple, never tried it... but I can't imagine a Tuna and pineapple combo.)

Posted by: Jen at July 22, 2005 01:29 PM

Thom, I worked for a while in food service and I knew about the whole glove thing. Actually the place I worked at didn't have a glove policy which was super nice. (not only are glove totally pointless but also totally uncomfortable and sweaty after a whole shift.)
I kind of equate the gloves to that Hand sanitizer, it really just makes germaphobes feel better. (Hand sanitizer only really kills the good bacteria that your body produces... the only thing that gets your hands clean is good old soap and water and even that only works to a point. Not only that but that sanitizer is almost pure alcohol so it dries the hell out of your skin.)

Posted by: Joe at July 22, 2005 01:35 PM

Thom, I miss the commercials WITHOUT Jared or singing about Jared or anything else about Jared.And also how did you find out about Jared did he write a letter saying

Dear Subway folks,
I lost weight.By eating your sandwichs and I miss being fat. Screw You!!!

I lied about the last part but its funny, eh?

Posted by: Sylvia at July 22, 2005 06:52 PM

Actually, I believe the owner of the Subway below his apartment (not dorm!) reported it to their coordinator and it got rolling from there. The guy is nuts. He ate a footlong veggie delite for lunch, and a footlong chicken teriyaki for dinner EVERY DAY. As I said in my original e-mail to Steve, he lost weight by eating too much Subway.

And P.S. - the 7 under 6 subs are all 6-inch quantities. Footlongs don't count - sorry guys, just a little "gotcha!" to ruin the so-called "diet"

Posted by: Thom McGrath at July 22, 2005 08:49 PM

hahahaha... oh man, that just reminded me of the Krusty Comeback Special episode of the Simpsons where Krusty gets all fat drinking milkshakes thinking they're the same as diet shakes.
I'm also feeling a lot of anti-Jared sentiment, maybe we could start a petition to get rid of him.

Posted by: Jen at July 22, 2005 10:04 PM

Well I don't eat Subway tuna they kill the dolpins.....


Posted by: SHEAN666 at July 22, 2005 10:20 PM

oh shean,

you get the offical LOL on that one.

Posted by: Steve at July 22, 2005 10:22 PM

Wow, I guess I haven't watched that movie in a while...

Anyways, on the Quizno's baby: Don't they realize that the talking baby thing was overdone in the 90's? The guy who came up with those commercials should be EATEN by the guy who did the "Emerald Nut's" commercials. They're just that superior.

Posted by: Bredward at July 22, 2005 11:56 PM

Best sandwiches in Portland are at Michael's. The Italian beef sandwich is so good it will make you cry.

I do like Subway's meatball sub, though it's harder to eat with the hinge cut. The meatballs squirt out everywhere.

Quiznos made me cry by discontinuing their philly cheesesteak. Damn, that was a good sandwich.

Posted by: Sorcha at July 23, 2005 02:59 AM

I try not to eat at Subway's anymore. The last time I ate there the guy behind the counter put lettuce, pickles, and mustard on my meatball and cheese sub. Ninja style, while I was turned around. When I got home I wanted to strangle him.

Of course, by that point I was starving so I just ate it and bitched during the whole tedious process.

Quizno's philly cheesesteak . . . the first time my friend had it he had the shits for a few days. The first time I tried it I had the shits for a few days. The second, and last, time my friend had it, he had the shits for a few days. He actually called me on the phone, screamed that his asshole was on fire, and that he hated me for not stopping him from ordering it again.

I still prefer Quizno's to Subway.

Posted by: Chimichanga Batman at July 23, 2005 11:16 AM

I feel enlightened

Posted by: Sylvia at July 23, 2005 01:51 PM

I remember the first time I went to subway...It was warm out.....I walked down the street.....Got myself a sandwich....Ate it and left.....Oh how I cherish that memory!So close to my heart!I heart subway!!!Haha.

Posted by: Sylvia at July 23, 2005 02:49 PM

Awww, forget Quizno's, forget Subway. While out with the hubby, we stopped at a Charley's Steakery, and it was so much more worth the money! Steve, great site! Your not to eat page left me laughing hard enough to bring tears to my eyes!

Posted by: elleshu at July 23, 2005 09:02 PM

"Still lookin' good, his name is Jared - His name is Jared and he likes to eat the sandwiches! Still lookin' Good, eatin' those sandwiches all the time."

Posted by: Matt at July 24, 2005 12:38 PM

Quiznos always made me really really ill. So, I prefer subway.. and I liked the u cut... But i hate shredded lettuce, pickles, and olives.. I hope i'm not too late in the debate with this comment...

Posted by: Starcrost at July 24, 2005 09:48 PM

another bad comment for Subway..Generally I go to Quiznos, but I happened to be at Arundel Mills Mall, and they only have a Subway..like many, I hate that damn shredded lettuce, drops everywhere making a mess. I noticed that they had spinach, which is much healthier anyway (I was trying to eat healthy that day) and I asked if I could have that on my sub instead of lettuce..I would even pay extra, however much...they said no, it was only for salads and they weren't allowed to put it on sandwiches...that was the LAST time I ever went to Subway..I'm still pissed about it and it's been over a year..I carry a grudge for a long time I guess

Posted by: Kathy at July 25, 2005 08:26 AM

Quiznos bites. Their subs are WAY overpriced, not toasted enough, and don't have nearly the variety of toppings that Subway does. I love Subway, I've never had a bad sandwich there. BMT is my favorite. I like the spicy meat. And I've never been shorted on olives. I must be lucky. :)

It's time for Subway to find a new mascot though. I'm getting tired of seeing Jared.

Posted by: Pam at July 25, 2005 10:56 AM

jimmy john's for the win, plz.

my girlfriend and i hardly ever eat at subway anymore. whenever we want sammiches, we almost always head to jimmy john's unless we're pressed for time and subway is closer. we'll go to quizno's every now and then, but not very often because it's way more expensive than jimmy john's or subway, which are about evenly matched in price, i'd say.

plus, jimmy john's white breat > subway white bread.

Posted by: sean at July 25, 2005 11:29 PM

Wanted to post something just in case this list is used to determine who will be escorted to fortified shelters underneath the earth when a doomsday asteroid is headed straight for the planet.

Holy CRAP that's a lot o' Subway talk!
(...and that said, I'm a little suprised the obvious topic of "adult film stars' general preference, Subway or Quiznos?" hasn't come up).

Posted by: Mr. Matt at July 26, 2005 12:13 PM

I would much rather the handwashing to the gloves, seeing as how most subways have a sink out front specifically for that purpose (atleast they used to) Also - I too think the U-guage had a different taste.. maybe a better "blend" of the toppings than the hinge. Maybe it's just in my head, dunno.. anyways - speaking of dropping food on the floor, I personally worked at a hole in the wall in Canal Winchester - If you've been there it's in the MIDDLE of town and it's not Shades *wink wink* I won't name names, but I saw the OWNER of the place drop a piece of cod on the floor, rinse it off, and use it for a sandwich for a customer..... plus, the break-room/smoking room is right through the double doors in the kitchen... I've seen the OTHER owner making food with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth. So personally, I would much rather eat at subway than a hole in the wall restaurant where they cook in the back anyday :)

Posted by: Keli at July 26, 2005 07:21 PM

Another thing - only time i've set foot in a quiznos was when i found out i had gestational diabetes, and needed something with no carbs... I went next door to quiznos, only to find that the salads were like $6??? WTF? $6 for a bowl of lettuce and some meat and cheese? I think not..

Posted by: Keli at July 26, 2005 07:23 PM

I really don't care how my sandwich is cut, what really annoys me at Subway these days is that they don't put the mayo and mustard on until the end of the sandwich. on top of all the veggies! What's that all about?! Condiments go on the bread, come on!

Posted by: Jared at July 27, 2005 12:07 AM

The best submarine sandwich chain is, by far, Jersey Mikes. I like shredded lettuce. Subway tuna sucks. Adult film stars don't eat. Red states rock. I am impressed with the number of posts about sandwiches. I successfully posted without a connected thought.

Posted by: GIEIO at July 27, 2005 09:12 AM


Posted by: TheRealJared at July 27, 2005 09:47 AM

The condiments go on the veggies to keep them from falling off as much. They keep my olives on! (ps: if they tried to give me a sub with 6 olives on it, I'd be a little annoyied). plus, once they close the sub, the condiments are on both the bread AND the veggies either way, unless they put them on the bottom, UNDER the meat, which would just be weird and wrong.

Posted by: dee at July 27, 2005 01:41 PM

enjoi the link

Posted by: Slaws24 at July 28, 2005 11:10 AM

Subway is ok. They are really stingy with their meat though. Whenever I order the 6 inch turkey sub, I always pay the $1.00 extra for the extra meat. And still there's not that much meat on it! And the freakin' Tuna sandwich is worse. Have you seen the size of the scooper that they use to scoop the tuna with? Pathetic. It's a teeny, tiny, extra small size ice cream scooper; it's about as big as a quarter circumference wise. And when they scoop the tuna onto your bread, they don't even make it a heaping scoop; they make it a rounded scoop, so as not to give you any more tuna than what the scooper will allow. It's almost comical it's so pathetic....
Togo's is by far the better sandwich shop. Togo's gives you two decent size scoops of tuna for the tuna sandwich(with an average size scooper), and Togo's gives you a nice size helping of turkey for the turkey sandwich. A 6 inch sandwich from Togo's is almost as filling as a 12 inch from Subway.
Togo's is number 1 on my list. Quizno's is too bleepin' expensive.

Posted by: Anthony at July 28, 2005 10:51 PM

I am in Australia and have never seen the "U-Gouge" here. Anyway, I have a bigger problem than meat boat vs side slice. I only ever get a six inch sub, and I hate how I do not get to choose which half of the bread I am going to get. I am right handed, so for me it is easier to eat the right side of the bread, otherwise the filling falls out.

Posted by: falimako at July 29, 2005 04:58 AM

Tuna has more meat than Turkey, as I have already explained.

And it sounds like no Subway knows how to make a sandwich. Meats, then cheese go on the top half of the bread, in that order. Then veggies on the bottom half. Any dressings except Oil, Vinegar, and Sweet Onion go on top of the cheese. Those three go on the veggies.

My opinion? It doesn't friggin' matter. If the dressing is on the meat or the veggies, it's all going to touch the other anyway! And everything is going in your mouth anyway.

Posted by: Thom McGrath at July 29, 2005 07:20 AM

The tuna would have more meat than turkey if they put more tuna on the bread. Subway must be on tuna rations or something. They scoop it, then they spread it around like paste with that mini spatula.
One thing I have noticed also: Alot of Subway shops don't seem to be as clean as either Togo's or Quizno's. It's not uncommon to find flies swarming around inside some Subways; that's unheard of at Quizno's or Togo's. And what's with all the Middle Eastern Subway owners? First 7-Eleven and now this?

Posted by: Anthony at July 29, 2005 10:45 PM

Now, I have to admit, I scanned through a few of the last comments, so forgive me if my views have been expressed already.

As far as the amount of meats on Subway subs, I eat there because it doesn't* have 2lbs of meat in a sandwich. I'm not some namby-pamby health nut, but the sheer volume of carcass in most American fast-food makes me tired and keeps me from being able to take a dump (neither being sensations I'm fond of).

As far as sanitary procedures, I've been a cook for more than 10 years and I've been certified in food safety procedures. Bottom line -- very VERY few people in any foodservice situation follow all the myriad guidelines to prevent cross-contamination and maintain food safety. I've worked everything from fast-food, greasy spoons and mid-range restaurants to ridiculously expensive nouvelle cuisine and everywhere let something slip, whether it be wearing gloves when handling anything ready-to-eat or taking the temperature of all items pretty much constantly.

As a rule, sandwiches are fairly safe. Most deli meat is so chock-full of preservatives and salt that it'd have to be a pretty determined microbe that'd thrive in that environment. I pretty much stay away from steam-table meat (you know those Chinese booths in the mall? Food-poisoning central), salad bars and any serve-yourself place. It will make me sound pretty misanthropic (I am*, most cooks are, who cares) but most customers are dirty and ignorant when it comes to "how not to make the next person that eats out of that buffet pan sick."

As far as regional differences in Subways, I was heartbroken when I moved from California to Minnesota and went in for my favorite sammich -- 6-inch veggies and cheese on wheat with extra guacamole. No guacamole. "Guacamole on a sub?" was the response. It's damn good. They thought it was creepy. This coming from a state where they eat rotten fish soaked in poison (lutefisk).

Hey....I think I just got a good idea for a "Steve, don't eat that."

I totally double-dog dare you to eat lutefisk, Steve.

Posted by: Regina at July 30, 2005 01:29 PM

Long time reader first time writer here & I just wanted to say that I really do miss that meat boat... I was actually discussing it with some friends the other day & they agreed with me that the meat boat was superior. I say that Steve & Thom head a movement to bring back the meat boat!

Another thing that just struck me with all this talk about Jared... Wasn't there another spokesperson for subway there for a little while? I can't remember his name, but I do remember that he was a fireman & his name started with a C... I'm probably just imagining it all...

Posted by: Mr. Whipple at July 31, 2005 06:42 PM

Clay Henry. Nobody in the world should be named Clay.

Absolutely no dispute with Regina's post. I do everything possible to make sure that I, and my employees, follow as much of the rules as possible, but it pretty much cannot be done. Health inspectors tend to love Subways though...

Anthony, there is more Tuna on a sandwich than Turkey. I'm not talking to about mix, I'm talking regular honest-to-goodness Tuna meat. I'm not including Mayo. If you include the Mayo, then there is nearly twice the amount of product on a Tuna than on a Turkey. I already did all the math out, there's more Tuna. And we ration everything because we businesses need to make a profit.

Posted by: Thom McGrath at July 31, 2005 07:14 PM

he best subs I've had, mom and pop aside, are Erbert & Gerbert's. They pack more meat...

Probably more vegetables, as well. I don't know. But what I do know is this:

They COMBINE THE U-GOUGE AND HINGE CUT! Sort of. Actually, then hinge cut the bread, then scoop out some in top and bottom to make a nice meat pocket (hehe). Really, though. The best part is that they don't throw the scoopings away, they wrap them up with you sub. The scoopings are actually refered to as guts or 'gutz' if you drink Mountain Dew.

A roast beef sub with some warm slightly doughy guts wrapped up next to it is awesome.

The names and stories of the subs are also cool. They include: THE BORNK, THE BONEY BILLY, THE TULLIUS, THE GIRF, THE NARMER, and others.

website: http://www.erbertandgerberts.com

No, I don't work for them, I'm just moving to a town that has one.


Yeah man, I have an Erbert and Gerbert's here. One of my ex-gf's worked there, and used to hook us up!

Posted by: kidneyboy at August 2, 2005 12:18 AM

Yeah, all businesses are in the business to make money. But damn. Subway could put an extra scoop of tuna on their sandwiches and leave off half the lettuce to balance things out! hehe...Or leave off the cheese and put extra tuna. Until then, I go to Togo's where the bread is better and more filling, and where they put more ingredients on the sandwich. Put a Subway and a Togo's in the same strip mall, and it would amaze me if the Subway stayed in business. Damn, I should be a Togo's spokeperson.

Posted by: Anthony at August 3, 2005 01:24 PM

Wow! what a debate! I personally will eat at a Subway long before I ever darken the door of a Quizno's again.
( too expensive ) But I cried when Jalapeno peppers became "unavailable" at my local Subway. Now I have to make do with their ugly cousin, the lowly banana pepper. Thom, I have a wierd idea:
combine the following: "U-Gouge", "Meat-Boat", "Submarine", and you get the "MEAT U-BOAT"! It could fire little Meat Torpedoes, and even have a small conning tower with a shnorkel! Sure to be a hit in Pennsylvania and Milwaukee! heh heh...

Posted by: BaconBreath at August 5, 2005 02:16 PM

I always preferred U-Gouge not because I had problems with topping loss, but because of the way you eat a sub.

Subs are too fat to fit in your mouth all at once (unlike, say, a hot dog). So you take a bite of the left side, then a bit of the right side, and work your way down that way.

The problem is, with a side cut, the left hand bit is all meat, and the right hand bite is all toppings. With the old U-Gouge, every bite was guaranteed to have a bit of both.

Posted by: BurgerBoy at August 17, 2005 10:08 AM

I like subway better,i just do.But im pretty sure thier copying quiznos and not admitting it.

p.s.Jared is an ugly loser that makes me barf every time I see him on TV(its a good thing im a devoted subway fan)

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Posted by: mary at September 1, 2005 09:10 AM

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Thanks bro.
Steve Rico for President

Posted by: STEVE RICO at September 13, 2005 04:59 PM
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