May 25, 2005

Whack Wiggle

I only posted a couple lines in the sidebar mouthing off about Jeff of The Wiggles. I didn't expect anyone to react to it.

I was wrong...

While I've been exposed to countless hours of The Wiggles, I realize many of you may somehow lead Wiggle-free lives. For you: The Wiggles is an Australian musical group/TV show for kids. They are now on the Disney Channel all of the time.

Jeff is one of them. His "bit" is to fall asleep all the time.

Here's what some readers had to say...


I totally agree. They only keep him around because he fulfills the short man quota. At least Murray can play the guitar!

Truly Yours,

Oh, I KNOW! Aren’t you just appalled at the fact that he has somehow ridden the coattails of the three talented Wiggle brothers to fame and glory? You’ve got to respect the boys for the fact that when they were coming up with gimmicks, they managed to convince Jeff to have a gimmick that required him to be almost always motionless and silent.

Also, who do think has scored with more single moms, Anthony Wiggle or Steve Burns? The question has to be asked.

Dave (father of a four-year-old who has, thankfully, moved on from the Wiggles. Also, if you haven’t crossed their path yet, be VERY AFRAID of The Doodlebops)

Sorry Steve, but whilst Jeff is obviously in need of help dealing with his narcolepsy (or alcoholism – take your pick) I have to disagree – Anthony is clearly the worst of the Wiggles. His “Anthony’s Workshop” contribution to the show is the low point of Saturday mornings in our house. An abomination that has to be seen to be believed. And “Music With Murray” isn’t a whole lot better either.

Don’t even get me started on Dorothy the bloody dinosaur.


Jeff is definitely the worst Wiggle. It's like the Sesame Street game- three of these things are not like the other, three of these things are kind of the same... Jeff could be cut out easily.


Hey Steve,

I had to laugh at "Jeff is clearly the worst Wiggle. Just let him sleep." I was saying to my wife the other day that they are probably racist because they are trying to perpetuate the idea that Asians are lazy.

People who don't have kids look at you like you are nuts when you say things like, the Doodle-bops are America's' answer to the Wiggles, just like the Monkees were America's answer to the Beetles.

Take care,

Hey Steve,

Bang-on with the Jeff thing. If you're going to pretend to play an instrument, at least pick something cool like a saxophone. An accordian? Geez, your not going to get any chicks like that...


My daughter loves him. She's 2 and after a wiggle episode, she'll run around the house yelling "Wake Up Jeff" at the top of her lungs for an hour. They should just put him down. End our misery.

The comment board is now closed.

Click here for The Sneeze Home Page!
Posted by Steven | Archive

what the fuck is a wiggle?!

Posted by: Matt at May 25, 2005 11:14 PM

The Wiggles is an Australian musical group/tv show for kids. They are on the Disney Channel all the time now. I also added this at the top of the post.

Posted by: Steve at May 25, 2005 11:17 PM

I must be out of sync with Australian Kiddie shows... But do I plan to do anything about it? I guess I'm just in a australian kiddie show slump... could the Wiggles perhaps break this slump?

Posted by: Matt at May 25, 2005 11:24 PM

The DoodleBops are WAY COOL. Colorful and Bright with crazy hip hop music. Oh, and the two guys are so incredibly Gay, I'm just waiting for the Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad Army of the Christian Right to go on full alert.

It will be glorious.

Personally, I find their show much closer to that paragon of children's shows: Pee Wee's Playhouse. Not so boring, unrealistic characters, bright crazy colors and _way_ more fashion sense than the Wiggles.

btw.. Has anyone seen BooBahs on PBS? It's the most Amazing Mushroom Hallucination show Ever! I _Love_ this show even though my five year old was instantly bored.

Posted by: elmlish at May 25, 2005 11:27 PM

There's definitely something appealing about The Wiggles. But the more I watched, there were just little recurring quirks with Jeff that started to make me a little crazy. It really doesn't matter what I think. My kids think he's cool. And at this point, I'm sure Jeff could buy and sell all of us.

Posted by: Steve at May 25, 2005 11:28 PM

Well, at least they aren't dressed in really weird alien costumes...

Posted by: Matt at May 25, 2005 11:30 PM

No episode 3 related stuff Steve? after the "Brewbacca" reference, I figured you'd be right on the Episode 3 bandwagon :P

Posted by: Matt at May 25, 2005 11:31 PM


I'm from Australia. The capital in fact, Canberra.

The trick is NOT to notice them. Then they just disappear, run overseas to infiltrate childrens television... oh. Hang on. That'd be you guys.

Well - if you're interested in what the Wiggles were doing before the hysteria, check this out:

Posted by: Ash at May 25, 2005 11:35 PM

The best kiddie show was the Weird Al Show... I loved that show... I learned so much on it... like how to brush me teeth and how to feed monkeys...

Posted by: Matt at May 25, 2005 11:40 PM

Haha BooBahs rule! They're kinda like Teletubbies but alot trippier

Posted by: Josh at May 25, 2005 11:48 PM

For an idea of how hallucinatory Boohbahs are.. I'm surprised they even allow this stuff on TV hehe

Posted by: Josh at May 25, 2005 11:50 PM

My two year old loves The Wiggles, but gets very frustrated with her most recent book. The problem? Jeff doesn't wake up at all. No amount of screaming seems to make any difference (and how she has tried) -- Jeff simply sleeps through the entire book.

However, he appears to have also slept through the photography shoot for the back cover, as they have replaced him with a purple silhouette. Could this be the beginning of the end for Jeff?

Posted by: Lionfire at May 26, 2005 12:22 AM

Oy. My neice is OBSESSED with the wiggles. She has all the wiggles merchandise, and she never stops singing that 'mashed bananas/cold spaghetti' song. Car trips are HELL with her.

Posted by: Edminster at May 26, 2005 01:00 AM

My three-year-old bebops around the house singing Wiggles tunes all the time. If I hear the hot potato/cold spaghetti/mashed buh-nah-nah song one more time, I may tape her mouth shut.

The one that squicks me out most is the Higglytown Heroes. They're these little Russian-style nesting dolls that play hide-and-seek by hiding inside each other. And the cat gave birth in a tree once - each baby came out of the baby before it. Someone's smokin' some good shit there.

Posted by: Shylah at May 26, 2005 02:49 AM


That is possibly the greatest song ever, plus Jeff looks like a Black Cap (NZ Cricket Team).

Has he gone for a ride?

Posted by: jc at May 26, 2005 03:37 AM

All I can say is, thank god the Wiggles seem to have wiped out the evil scurge that is Barney.

Posted by: chris at May 26, 2005 04:45 AM

Jeff is their scapegoat. You need a guy like him around for the dirty work.
He's their Ringo!

Posted by: Jim K at May 26, 2005 05:01 AM

Steve, just found your site... OMG how have I not seen this before??? It's web gold!!! You are beyond funny, uber-crap-your-pants-funny!!! ('kay, not the Jeff post so much, but I've been reading the archives). I bow to you, Funny Bloggod!

Posted by: Mooalex at May 26, 2005 05:48 AM

I wiggle when I get my salad tossed

Posted by: Sean at May 26, 2005 05:51 AM

My 20 month old is obsessed with the Wiggles. Not a day goes by that I don't hear one of their songs running through my head as I sleep at my desk at work.

In response to the commentor who said the "Doodlebops were the American version of the Wiggles" I'm loathe to admit that I know this, but the Doodlebops actually hail from Canada. It goes without saying that they are pure evil.

A fun Wiggle Fact: Anthony and Jeff cut their musical teeth during a stint in a respected Australian Rock band called the Cockroaches.

By far the most annoying part of any show involves the Ritalin Pirate, Captain Feathersword. Is there a deeper meaning when the wiggles "push the captain's magic buttons"?

Posted by: Brian at May 26, 2005 06:03 AM

Wiggles? We're still dealing with that goddamed Grover wannabe, Elmo.

Posted by: Pete at May 26, 2005 06:41 AM

My two ten year old nephews recently asked "how do those guys ever get to go on dates?" Ahh, how indeed young men--well days later I saw the answer--millions of dollars a year in income pulled from hardworking wallets like mine. THat lazy bastard is sleeping all the way to the bank.

Posted by: JOel at May 26, 2005 06:46 AM

jeff is the most annoying and useless wiggle in my book. my little cousin got me into watching the wiggles, and they're one of the better kids shows he watches, sadly. of course i went out and bought the wiggles cd's for in the car, those songs never leave your head after you listen to them...two words: fruit salad

Posted by: aimee at May 26, 2005 07:01 AM

When I had a son I thought I would spend most of my waking moments trying to help him live a Barney-free existence. Now I see that my aims were entirely misguided. After watching half-a-dozen episodes of the Wiggles I see who the real enemy to good television is. There is no more obnoxious show on TV than the Wiggles. They make Barney look like a good Bugs Bunny cartoon (back when cartoons were actually good).

Posted by: Matt at May 26, 2005 07:01 AM

Jeff IS annoying, but he does actually play the piano, as witnessed in several installments os Music with Murray. So he isn't completely useless. A friend of mine however noticed that occasionally Greg has back hair hanging out of his costumes... that is FAR worse in my book.

Posted by: Marlespo at May 26, 2005 07:08 AM

Like everyone else here, my daughter loves the Wiggles. Frankly, they creep me out. Especially that Greg guy. I have a feeling, 10 years from now, we're going to have seen a few poorly shaven mug shots of him in the county lockup with lurid stories about him taking everything off but his yellow f**king shirt.

Posted by: Sara Cynthia Sylvia Stout at May 26, 2005 07:09 AM

Speaking of Greg, I'm also obssessed with the frequent pit stains he sports in their dance numbers.

Posted by: Steve at May 26, 2005 07:38 AM

My two kids both love the Wiggles, while I agree that they are not... They are FAR BETTER than the Doodlebops, what is up with those things? I'll take the Wiggles and the sleeping Jeff any day!!!

Posted by: Cori at May 26, 2005 08:21 AM

All of the Wiggles suck. The Wiggles and The Teletubbies should get together and go bowling. I hate them all. But the worst has to be Barney. Barney needs to be hit over the head with a blunt object.

Posted by: Anne at May 26, 2005 08:36 AM

I have a two year-old brother and a three year-old brother who love The Wiggles. The three year-old, Jackson, loves pirates (my fault, I let him watch Pirates of the Caribbean) and insists that Captain Feathersword is a real pirate. What kind of a pirate has a feather duster as a weapon?

And don't even get me started on Doodlebops. I caught them watching it yesterday and I almost had a heart attack.

Posted by: Ria at May 26, 2005 08:39 AM

I've never seen the Wiggles, thankfully. However, it sounds like Jeff stole the sleeping bit from Grandfather Clock. Captain Kangaroo was forever having to wake him up.

Captain Kangaroo rocked!

Posted by: mur at May 26, 2005 08:45 AM

I'm relieved that I've never had to experience these Wiggles or DoodleBops. I've seen that God-forsaken Barney show once before and it was one of my most horrible television viewing experiences EVARR!

On a different note, is that hottie, Jessica, still single?
Damn I wish I lived over there in the east

Posted by: Toast at May 26, 2005 08:56 AM

What is it with 'kids show stuff' that's just plain freakish? I mean, there's something inherently twisted about a bunch of grown men living in a house together named 'the Wiggles' who dance and sing and 'other stuff''. (I seem to recall getting some not-so-nice spam e-mail similar to that concept...)

This seems to be a trend. Let's examine some history here:

1 - Cabbage Patch Dolls - These things still give me nightmares. Look into the eyes of one of these things, and you're haunted to the grave.

2 - Teletubbies - I don't know what planet these beings came from, but sweet jesus they give me the chills. And that disembodied baby's head stuck in the sun? What the hell is that about?

3 - Barney - Definitely the result of some bad shrooms. Fat purple dinosaur who tells you to love everything and everyone all the time? Sorry Barn, I don't swing that way.

That's just a sample, but I encourage others to add their repressed memories of childhood frights. Maybe there's something locked deep down I haven't chosen to remember yet. But anyway, why can't we go back to the wholesome days of He-man and Transformers for some serious butt-kickin' learn-your-damn-lesson old fashioned fun?

But I digress...

- JB

Posted by: JB at May 26, 2005 09:09 AM

Has it not occured to anyone that *all* of the wiggles are annoying fuckers? My step-son watches that show. I want to stab them all in the eye.

Posted by: drunkennewfiemidget at May 26, 2005 09:12 AM

my 2 1/2 year old grandson loves the Wiggles, but he is banned from watching teletubbies, boobah, barney etc. we hate those. I agree Jeff is the worst Wiggle, but then again I'm in lust with Capt Feathersword. In all honesty, I'd rather watch Veggie-Tales or Bob the Builder. Now Bob the Builder is cool..of course I think Wendy has her sights set on that young man...Our TV usually has on one of the Shreks at least once a week, VeggieTale's Jonah every other day, and Bob the builder whenever my daughter isn't around, she hates it, so my grandson has to wait for me to watch BTB. My grandson also loves Higgleytown Heroes which I agree with a previous comment about them all hiding inside each other and stuff, it's kind of creepy. but he likes trying to figure out how they are going to solve the problems of everyday life in Higgleytown

Posted by: Kathy at May 26, 2005 09:18 AM

OK, yes, the Wiggles are plain awful, Jeff is the worst of them, and the Captain Feathersword should be busted down to Seaman second class (and for crying out loud, could someone please put some makeup on his hideously boil-infested face? Please? for me?)

But seeing the comment on the BooBahs, I have to point out that they remind me of uncircumcised penises. Fat, colorful, fuzzy, walking uncircumcised penises. This chills me to the bone and it should you too.

Posted by: Toneman at May 26, 2005 10:22 AM

I only watched one episode of the Wiggles. I was in my Anthropology advisor's office at college - he had brought his kid to work. The most disturbing part was when the wiggles' guys suddenly became puppet/marionette versions of themselves. Those were the creepiest damn puppets I have ever seen! I kept waiting for their puppet heads to spin around and vomit pea-soup.

Best cartoon ever: G.I. Joe

Posted by: Laura at May 26, 2005 10:31 AM

GI Joe, best cartoon ever? Good, yes. But the best ever would have to be Voltron. That lion-based-robot kicked some serious rump. It's like the harcore basis for that homo-tastic Power Rangers show, only there's no comparison. Anyone who remembers Voltron will know the truth. Those robot lions were beyond wicked, and since it was animated, they didn't look like retarded puppets prancing around.

- JB

Posted by: JB at May 26, 2005 10:47 AM

The best trio bar far has to be Sharon, Lois, and Braum. To this day you would be hard pressed to find a person my age(18) who doesnt know the words, and actions for Skinamarink.

Posted by: Steve at May 26, 2005 11:18 AM

Agree with the Wiggle busting, and those Doodlebops freaks are incredibly scary, but I gotta throw some mad props at Hi-5. The two guys are totally gay, but the three girls are wicked hot. Karla, whose favorite animals are "kitties and butterflies", Kimee, whose nickname is "Kimoots", and Jenn, aka "Toots McGinty. These chicks make me wanna hump the TV whenever my two year old isn't in the room. And I'm pretty sure they're all legal.

Posted by: andere steve at May 26, 2005 11:28 AM

My little guy is 10 weeks old, so we haven't yet had to endure Wiggles, Teletubbies, Senor Poofylumps and The Prancing Mincers, or any of that other tripe yet. I'm hoping to skip over that phase and go straight to Spiderman and Star Wars.

Posted by: Ethan at May 26, 2005 11:41 AM

i am so glad i'm not the only one hating on jeff. we have always called him "Worthless Wiggle" at our house. well, not around our daughter though. she would be crushed.

my daughter has recently discovered the doodlebops. i wish i could poke out my eyes & ears with a spork.

Posted by: shannon at May 26, 2005 11:43 AM

We all know why Jeff is on the show, don't we? Watch the credits. Notice that Jeff shares a surname with the executive producer of the show. Clearly they're closely related. I can picture that conversation.

JF: Hey, man - I hear you're making a kids show. I'm tired of flipping burgers. Can I be on it?

BF: No.

JF: Why not?

BF: Because, unlike most Asians, you are hideous. The camera doesn't love you.

JF: But I can play keyboard!

BF: But you can't act.

JF: I'm telling mom.

BF: Fine. We'll put you in. We'll have a character that's always asleep. That way, you can showcase your master thespian skills.

Posted by: Michael Simone at May 26, 2005 11:54 AM

My husband and I often comment that for the few moments per show Jeff is actually awake he is ALWAYS leering like a molester in a public service announcement. What's up with that?? Creepy. . .

Posted by: Jennifer at May 26, 2005 12:35 PM

The earlier episodes of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles rein supreme in the land of kid's television. They actually had a continuing story line! The Thunder Cats were also a love of mine during my early years. What have we become!?!

Posted by: gregory at May 26, 2005 12:35 PM

Okay -- I just went and looked up the Doodlebops since we (luckily) have not yet been exposed. Here's a snippet from the website:

"The show was produced through Cookie Jar Entertainment (formerly Cinar), the production company behind 'Arthur' and 'Caillou'"

No surprise that something as creepy as the Doodlebots comes from the creator of the two biggest wusses in children's TV.

Posted by: Jennifer (Again) at May 26, 2005 12:43 PM

H.R. Puffenstuff and Witchypoo. Oh yeah, and the Banana Splits! Wacky!

Posted by: felix at May 26, 2005 12:48 PM

Man Jeff kicks ass. I wish I could get paid for sleeping.

Posted by: Randty at May 26, 2005 01:03 PM

I can take or leave Wiggles, but Boohbahs look like what would happen if one were to snort Kool-Aid and then sneeze. Heh. I said "sneeze."

Posted by: golfwidow at May 26, 2005 01:12 PM

My kids, 3 and a half year old son,and a year and a half daughter, both love the Wiggles and I have to say that, in this day of, shall we say "obese" kids, at least they get the kids off the couch and get them to jump around and dance - there are far worse things, like that damned purple dinosaur!

Posted by: Darren at May 26, 2005 02:06 PM

As for Dave's question of Anthony Wiggle or Steve Burns: Steve so kicks Anthony's ass. Joe, no way, but Steve had a lot of mom's using him during their 'alone time'. I know, I was one of them!! =)

Posted by: Karen at May 26, 2005 03:17 PM

I was staying with some friends who have small children. Two TV's going all the time with kids shows. Needless to say I got pretty much enough of them all. I don't have much to say about the wiggles. Although, the pirate dude rocks. Who cares if carries a feather duster. He has the voice down. ARRRRGGHH Matey!

Posted by: Strode at May 26, 2005 03:18 PM

The people who created Boohbah were obviously hi on something and I'm not talkin' life people.

Posted by: Sylvia at May 26, 2005 03:26 PM

OK, I'm 8 weeks pregnant and am living in a persistent vegetative state of fear of all this Wiggles crap. Is there any way to avoid it? Can't I get my kids to listen to They Might Be Giants and watch the Pee Wee Herman show on DVD so I don't fly into a homicidal rage every time the kid wants to be entertained? Seriously. I'm cool with the pain of vaginal birth, I'll take as many episiotimies as you can dish out, but the pain of the Wiggles and TeleTubbies and Barney and a house full of useless plastic shit is almost too much to bear!!!

Posted by: Bonnie at May 26, 2005 03:42 PM

My DAD'S BAND had to play for a 4-year-old's birthday party. This kid was the nephew of their singer or something. Anyway, the kid really liked the Wiggles, so that was basically all they played. My dad practiced for hours to this CD of the Wiggles... Oh good lord, those were the worst couple weeks of my life. Damn Wiggles. "We like swimming..." Woo.

Posted by: Amelia at May 26, 2005 03:47 PM

im 14 years old, and (sad as this sounds) i recently went to a Wiggles concert with my 3 year old cousin. I am also the proud owner of a wiggles t shirt, cd, and henry the octopus doll.
well now that i've publicly humiliated myself, i suppose i can make my point. Which is:
while at this concert, Jeff hid for a while for the "where's jeff" routine. My aunt managed to find him on her way to get more popcorn, so my cousin got to meet her idol. then he walked by and waved at us. so, although he may not be as talented as the others, he does win points for being friendly.
Personally, my favorite Wiggle is Greg, but my favorite character is Henry the Octopus.

Posted by: cattie at May 26, 2005 04:24 PM

I cannot believe all the negative comments about Jeff. I mean, c'mon, it must be hard to have to sing all the time whilst you are perpetuly tired.
The man is obviously the genius behind the group. All those late nights staying up to write some of the best lyrics this world has ever seen. Honestly, who wouldn't be tired.
I say let Jeff sleep. Another thing, if Jeff wasn't being woken up all the time maybe he wouldn't be so tired. It's the bastards that keep waking him up that are the real villians.


Posted by: Wayne at May 26, 2005 04:27 PM

Jeff was one of the originators of the Wiggles. So he *has* to be there. I've never thought a keyboard player was really that essential to a group anyway.

Posted by: Thad at May 26, 2005 04:31 PM

Jeff sucks, as do the rest of the wiggles. that godforsaken show used to wake me up really really early in the morning.

Posted by: Sarah at May 26, 2005 05:22 PM

Jeez, I'm glad I have cats instead of kids. Reading about crap like this is the best birth control there is.

Posted by: Chris at May 26, 2005 06:38 PM

Okay, Wiggles are weird multi-millionaires (there are 80 music CD references and 60 VHS/DVD titles on Amazon - do the $$ math) but they put in their time in Austrailia before hitting it BIG in the states. You can find some of their early not-so-big-budget-videos on *cheap* - just like their sets. Think about it: They've been singing "Hot Potatoe" for over a DECADE. I think that's a special HELL all in itself.

Doodlebops are FREAKS (agreeing with the earlier post of Canadian show = evil) and the new incarnation of the Barney show is sadly just as saccharine as the old version - but I think Baby Bop and BJ (don't need Freud to dive into THAT name) are EVEN WORSE than Barney himself....

Posted by: Kat at May 26, 2005 06:46 PM

Jeff could easily be replaced by Captain Feather Sword. Or maybe one of those kids in Hi-5.

Posted by: Kristen at May 26, 2005 07:44 PM

Heehee - "Funny Bloggod"

Does anyone remember The Polka-Dot Door? Or did I imagine it all?

Posted by: momsoops at May 26, 2005 08:23 PM

If you want your kids to watch something that is mildly amusing to adults then check out "Peep" on TLC in the AM. Quack is an odd duck.

Posted by: Kat (again) at May 26, 2005 09:09 PM

All I know is my year-and-a-half old niece pronounces words like "cah" and "ba-nah-na" because of those damned Wiggles, and she barely watches TV. It's a conspiracy; next thing we know, we'll be feeding our kids Vegemite instead of PB&J.

Posted by: Shan at May 26, 2005 09:46 PM

wiggle me up.

Posted by: Loki at May 26, 2005 10:30 PM

Vegemite? Lord help us, that stuff is AWFUL.

Posted by: MissEgyptology at May 26, 2005 10:41 PM

Ok, I (thank all that is holy) know very little about the Wiggles as my five year old son has progressed on to Star Wars and anything else with "fighting!".

However, to the above post about BooBah...I thought I was the only one who saw the penis thing! They look just exactly like a scrotum and a dinky little uncut penis. The fact that they bob their heads in and out and that there are EYES located there makes me want to scream in my sleep.

Posted by: Catnippe at May 26, 2005 11:34 PM

I've seen the Wiggles only once. *shudder*

Where are all the great shows for kids that we had when we were young 'uns? I remember:

Big Blue Marble, ZOOM, Electric Company, 321 Contact, and the uber-trippy H.R. Pufnstuf. And what was that show with Gary Gnu? (No gnus is good gnus!) Great Space Coaster?

The only Australian kids show I've ever enjoyed is Bananas in Pyjamas. That theme song is hard to shake. B1 and B2.

Posted by: san antone rose at May 26, 2005 11:37 PM

I can't stand children's shows these days. I grew up watching GI Joe and other 80s cartoons, yet I can't recall a single cartoon that was colorful and bubbly. The strangest was PeeWee's playhouse, but it wasn't educational as much as it was just plain asinine. Kids these days are going to grow up totally broken.

Posted by: Supragenius at May 27, 2005 01:08 AM

i dunno, he's probably my fave wiggle. my 2 year old loves the show. Jeff apparently was in some bands in Australia..pseudo new wavey-punk rock ala Radio Birdman. can't knock him for that. It's that guy in the yellow shirt. He sings out of the side his mouth if you haven't noticed, and he is really a hairy aboriginese! take is sleazy!

Posted by: dolemite at May 27, 2005 01:15 AM

My son is almost 6 months old and he loves the Wiggles songs. He doesn't watch the show at all (thank god). I must say, however, the the most frightening of all children's entertainment has to be the Boohbahs. I only know about them because of my job. But man are they freaky! My kid will never be allowed to watch them!

Posted by: Kara at May 27, 2005 06:18 AM

What ever happened to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? And NOT the crappy 2003 version, I mean the real, 80's deal. Kids would be much better off knowing the ways of Californian Ninja mutants who listen to a giant rat, then some coloured shirt gits.

Posted by: jesus_crowbar at May 27, 2005 07:21 AM

Please Wiggles over Boobahs, doodlebops, teletubbies, barney anyday...I've only seen Calliou once,thought it sucked and wouldn't watch it again. The funniest kids show by far is Veggie Tales. Larrys silly songs are hilarious. Just listen to "My Cheeseburger" or the SUV that's entertainment...I'm probably older than most people on here (44) but my favorite kids shows growing up were Rocky & Bullwinkle (still funny) and Bugs road runner kids liked Square One TV, that's another great show that should still be on the air..get rid of these creepy stuffed penis looking things..

Posted by: Kathy at May 27, 2005 07:27 AM

Kathy, you are right about the best kid shows. Rocky & Bullwinkle and Bugs Bunny are classics.

I have to add Fractured Fairy Tales to the list of classics. Loved that one.

P.S.....44? Nope, you are not the oldest! lol
I bet no one remembers a bunch of chickens swooning and screaming, "Oh, Frankie!"

Wiggles, Schmiggles.

Posted by: mur at May 27, 2005 07:43 AM

If you know who the wiggles are, listen to our last podcast:
and "guess the most annoying children's toy".


Posted by: Brian P at May 27, 2005 08:14 AM

Boobah is the scariest thing ever. That show makes me feel like its doing mind control hypnotism on kids. Its freaky

Posted by: Shannon at May 27, 2005 08:16 AM

Yes, there is hope. My kids are 9 and 7, and they like typical kid stuff (please save me from the Disney Channel!!). However, I got Rocky & Bullwinkle Season 1 on DVD, and the kids are HOOKED!! :) My son also enjoys the original Star Trek.

The classics never die!

VeggieTales is also very good! Larry is the man, er, cucumber!

Posted by: Eric at May 27, 2005 08:19 AM

I read what Steve wrote earlier in this chain of comment goodness and i screamed "YES!!!!!" and dissolved into a fit of's the quote..

"The best trio by far has to be Sharon, Lois, and Braum. To this day you would be hard pressed to find a person my age(18) who doesnt know the words, and actions for Skinamarink."

i'm 18 too and i LOVED THAT SHOW. i even remember the hand motions. hahaha rock on. yay random drawings of gray elephants to transition ideas. :)

oh and I loved the Teenage mutant Ninja Turtles. I was never a fan of Barney or even Sesame Street. Although i loved Mr. Rogers. And Eurekas castle. Magellan rocks my world.

Children shows now are pure crap.

Posted by: Amy at May 27, 2005 09:52 AM

Oh Damn, someone beat me to the Hi-5 comment! Anyways, those girls are hot! I always get lusty though when I see them but I know they are “of age”. How about the hot keystone cop on the wiggles? She is hot right? Well that’s what happens when you watch too much kids TV.

Posted by: imp chimp at May 27, 2005 11:43 AM

I'm a believer in the classics: Voltron, Thundercats, Reading Rainbow, Calliope, and The Bugaloos. Today's stuff is mostly crappy anime.

Loved Sesame Street, but it just wasn't the same 'hood after Mr. Hooper died. :(

Posted by: Susie Savage at May 27, 2005 12:01 PM

Thank you Susie!
I'm glad someone agrees with me...

Posted by: Jen at May 27, 2005 12:54 PM

"Steve so kicks Anthony's ass. Joe, no way, but Steve had a lot of mom's using him during their 'alone time'."

Right on Karen!!!! I love Steve. Thought I was the only one. Was so sad when he left the show. Thankfully my kids have moved on and we now get to enjoy the wonderful world of Cartoon Network. Billy and Mandy ROCK!!!

(what a sad bunch we all are....)

Posted by: Kris at May 27, 2005 01:34 PM

Andere Steve: Right on about the hot chicks on Hi-5. I am always thinking inappropriate things during that show.

Karen: Awesome. I figured Steve Burns would be the preference of most moms out there, but my wife would clearly prefer a wiggle with Anthony (also, Steve Burns has a great CD called "Songs for Dust Mites" - it's not kid stuff).

Bonnie: You cannot avoid the crappy kid's culture that is out there completely, but as far as music goes, TMBG have a great kids album called "NO!" and I also recommend Laurie Berkner's CDs. My daughter and I love both. There are some good kids shows out there, too: I really like Higglytown Heroes, Peep and the Big Wide World, Charlie & Lola, Zoboomafoo, and Zoom. And aside from the incessant repetition (something all parents must learn to deal with), the Wiggles aren't bad. We saw a concert of theirs last year, and my wife and I enjoyed it just as much as my daughter.

Posted by: Dave at May 27, 2005 05:25 PM

you wanna see weird kids shows... this one made me laugh 'til I cried.
The only bad thing was I got that plucking song stuck in my head for like a week.

Posted by: Jen at May 27, 2005 06:06 PM

The Wiggles make me want to hurt someone. badly.

like the way you could hurt someone running through the market, wildly flailing around both arms, a machete in each hand.

peace out.

Posted by: sweetney at May 27, 2005 07:16 PM

Ok- so I was thinking... we are complaining about our kid's shows...what did our parents think of our shows... come on....
The Great Space Coaster, Pinwheel, You Can't Do That On Television, New Zoo Revue (Henrietta fag hag)...Lancelot Link... I can oly imagine what my parents thought of those shows.

Posted by: Kristen at May 27, 2005 07:34 PM

i HATE the Wiggles, but alas... my kids LOVE them. bleh. whattya do? <-- not a question i need answered

Posted by: ala at May 27, 2005 09:01 PM

as an australian, i'd like to apologise to the rest of the world for these incubi in coloured skivvies.
*hangs head in shame*

Posted by: rachel at May 28, 2005 01:51 AM

With two kids, if it's primary colored and sings, I know about it. In Jeff's defense, he's one of the two wiggles that actually had a music career before the wiggles..he and Anthony were in "The Cockroaches".
But the most important question we need to ask about Jeff is:

Posted by: GekWataru at May 28, 2005 03:40 AM

Last year my wife and I took our daughter to see the Wiggles in concert (increasing their wealth, while decreasing mine) and I've got to say that these guys definitely do a bit of work in their shows. I was trying to take note as to how they choreographed the whole thing to allow members to rotate in and out to allow breather breaks, but they still were moving for quite a bit of time.

Also, am I the only one that thinks that Jeff is also the voice of Henry the Octopus?

Posted by: Vin at May 28, 2005 07:12 AM

Jeff is the only wiggle who is still single

Posted by: jessp at May 28, 2005 11:39 AM

I survived my preschool years on 'Playbus', i hated the dancing doll and loved the Why Bird (who was a woodpecker not a parrot) and her computer. Guess who can't dance but is glued to the computer????

Posted by: Rose at May 28, 2005 02:15 PM

Anthony wiggle won an Australian "Bachleor of the Year" award a few years ago.

I guess pickings are pretty slim in a country where even Russell "Fighting Around the World" Crowe and Steve Irwin - The Crocodile Hunter are off the market.

Posted by: Heath at May 29, 2005 05:25 PM

you should check out the "Boohbah's"...

they are FUCKED up. Well then again,you FEEL like you're fucked up, or blazed, when you watch them. It doesnt air in America, only in like, England. But watch it, its trippy.

Posted by: Katherine at May 30, 2005 01:39 PM

Hi there,
I'm an Australian girl and forgive me if it has been previously mentioned in these post, but Jeffn and Anthony were famous in Australia before the Wiggles in a band called The Cockroaches.
So maybe being in the Wiggles is like early retirement for him now after all his success in the 1980s.
Maybe it's not narcolepsy. Maybe he's just having his afternoon siesta after a hard game of lawnbowls and Bingo...?

Posted by: Emma from Aus at May 31, 2005 04:48 AM

I keep getting pipped at the post on Wiggle Trivia. I work as a nurse at a Childrens Hospital and Wiggles are everywhere. In pictures, movies, in person all over the wards...

Posted by: Emma from Aus at May 31, 2005 04:54 AM

My three year old is addicted to them; they are like heroin for the under-four-set.

"...Fruit salad... yummy yummy.... Fruit salad... yummy yummy."

Almost as annoying as those Vonage phone commercials:

"Woo hoo, woo hoo hoo... woo hoo, woo hoo hoo hoo..."

Posted by: NuggetMaven at May 31, 2005 07:50 AM

ok, the comment about Lancelot Link. have to disagree. That was a great show. I even bought a bootleg copy of season 1. Where else can you see talking chimps solving the worlds crimes? Not to mention that in my 20's (during the 1980's) Lancelot was about the only thing that would make me get up on a Saturday morning, hung over and dying for sleep. I would get up though just to watch those silly chimps. I am still a fan of Mr Rogers too. He got made fun of all the time, but really he was just a nice guy that wanted to make sure kids felt good about themselves and grew up to be good human beings. what's so wrong with that? the Wiggles may be annoying but they do encourage children to eat properly and to exercise, lets see a computer game do that. Also in my previous comment I stupidly said the song was named "My cheeseburger" this has been bothering me all weekend. The correct title is "His cheeseburger" and next to The bellybutton song, it is one of the most hilarious Veggie Tale songs ever. veggie Tales reminds me a lot of Rocky & bullwinkle as it's funny on a kids level and an adults. the creators of Veggie Tales are Monty Python fans, so that should tell you the shows will be funny. Actually the Silly Songs with Larry part of each show is totally Monty Python. ok..I'll stop now..there's just so much crap out there and so little good stuff

Posted by: kathy at May 31, 2005 08:01 AM

The Boohbahs do show in America - I've seen them Ithink on PBS - I have satellite, tho, maybe it was BBC. Who knows.
Steve has definitely scored more than Anthony Wiggle. C'mon.
With the sound turned off, Captain Feathersword is kind of hot. But then again I am single mom of a three year old and don't get out much.
I do agree that the Doodlebops are muchmuch much worse than anything else out there right now though, they make me want to gouge my eyes out and plug my ears with them.

edna million

Posted by: edna million at May 31, 2005 09:59 AM

I think it's unfair to say that Jeff is 'clearly' the worst Wiggle. They are all very annoying. Comparatively, Jeff isn't all that bad. I wish they'd all fall asleep... and be silent!

Captain Feathersword on the other hand, is the most irritating a-hole on that show. What's with him and the dog?

Posted by: Zclone at May 31, 2005 10:45 AM

Jeff is the Wiggles' Ringo. They threw him a bone when they let him do his "I'm a Cow" song (sung in one note).

He's a bit like Harpo the silent Marx brother.

Although I think there's some subtle racist undertones in that Jeff is clearly not the standard caucasian Australian and he always gets the short end of the stick. Second class citizen. Unfair.

Anyone else think he's supposed to elicit a gay subtext? I mean, odd man out, purple shirt? You know how Disney is. Is he their Tinky Winky?

I've seen the Wiggles twice at Universal Amphitheater in SoCal and Jeff into the audience and shook our hands.

I actually think he's a nice guy. I heard they are the highest paid entertainers in Australia, edging out Russel Crowe and Nicole Kidman at $34 Million EACH

Posted by: Eric Hall at May 31, 2005 03:38 PM

Yeah, Capt. Feathersword is the most annoying. I like the rest of the cast though. I bought their cd's and play them in the car on long trips and actually think their music is quite good and I'm a harsh critic.

I think Officer Beeples is a bit hot. Too skinny but have you seen her as Zardo Zap? And there are a few dancers I saw on the Wiggly Party dvd that are hot. Daddy like.

Boobah had to be created by someone on an acid trip. I'm not sure I want my kids trying to make sense out of that one. Ok, what's with the grandpa, grandma, Mr. Man, Mrs. Lady and all that? C'mon.

Posted by: Eric Hall at May 31, 2005 03:45 PM

Ok seriously the BooBahs are some wierd shit. My sister discovered them one time and thought it was soo funny that she called me down to watch. The wiggles are okay, the episodes that i have seen tend to be a little different each time so they havent gotten too irritating yet. However by far Hi-5 is the best! I saw it once while channel surfing to see guys and girls in tights dancing to a song that sounded like someone composed it while on LSD.

Posted by: Emily at May 31, 2005 06:05 PM

I read somewhere that Jeff, Anthony, and Greg studied Early Childhood Education and meet each other in school. The Wiggles started was a school project.

Jeff is the...

wait for it....

professional musician! He's probably the one responsible for most of the songs, including the one currently stuck in my head!

Posted by: Darren at June 1, 2005 12:25 AM

Personally I hate all of them, except for Captain Feathersword, whom I think well, hot. I'd like to see what else he can do with his sword.

Posted by: Liz at June 1, 2005 06:42 AM

The DoodleBops are not America's answer to the Wiggles.

They are Canadian.

America has been content to pretty much roll over and let the Wiggles rule. We just like those accents so much.

Hence, Russel Crowe and Heath Ledger's careers.

Posted by: LAURA at June 1, 2005 11:35 AM

What about the Tweenies on Noggin?!?!?! No one has mentioned them yet. Talk about annoying.......

Posted by: Casey at June 1, 2005 12:14 PM

I guess you didn't know that Jeff and Anthony were in a band together in the 80's. I suppose you didn't know that he can play 5 instruments. Not bad for someone who is untalented!

Posted by: Carrie at June 1, 2005 01:48 PM

Doesn't matter that he can play 5 instruments. He is the most annoying person on the planet. I was cracking up when I read Steve's comments about Jeff. I've had this exact conversation with some other parent friends and we all agree. Just let him sleep!

Posted by: Steve at June 1, 2005 03:04 PM

I've seen the Wiggles all of once, and that was on the Crocodile Hunter Diaries and it was okay, if in this context, okay were to mean completely retarded in a eat my own eyeballs and vomit them out sort of way.

Steve Burns is awesome, cause lets face it...Blue's Clues KICKED ASS! LoL. I'm 25, and I love Blue's Clues....I admit it. I have to say, I think it's funny that I still prefer kids shows with morals. I LOVE SpongeBob Squarepants, Jimmy Neutron, and THE FAIRLY ODD PARENTS are the COOLEST!!!! Though, if you people from Nickleodeon are out there reading this....let's step up the production on these shows a bit...there are only so many times I can watch Timmy Turner wish that he was ALWAYS RIGHT. I swear, you can watch Nickleodeon for a week and not have to watch it again for two months.....GRRR!!! Okay, now that I'm done ranting.

I have to say that I miss the Kick Ass cartoons we had as kids: Voltron, Thundercats, TMNT, He-Man and She-ra, Transformers, and the as yet unmentioned - The Muppet Show, which my cousin and I, at the tender ages of 15 and 13 would still get up early just to watch the two old geezers make fun of the rest of the cast. Jim Henson was a God and we are all just Muppets in his little stage production we call life.

On the whole "Boobah" thing, I have to say that seeing them on TV doesn't do them justice. To get the full effects of their creepy and penis like appearance, one HAS to make a trip down to WalMart and view them in person. They are the SCARIEST damned things that I've ever laid my eyes upon. I have had nightmare about those little phallic freaks.

Last thing....My best friend's little sister was mentally hanicapped and she and I would have to baby sit her sister sometimes. The girl LOVES Barney. We were probably the only two 18 year olds who could sing "I Love You, You Love Me" from memory, and we both new that stupid Dinosaur dance...... "I'm a T-rex....Garr!!!!" Oi!

Okay...I'm spent...

Posted by: Serpentia at June 3, 2005 12:04 AM

I know this will sound fake but I swear it is not:

I read a transcript of an interview with Greg Wigggle. Apparently the Wiggles are franchising across Asia. There are Hong Kong Wiggles as well.

And the funny part is, they are made up of three Asians and one white guy! (I don't know if he is the one who falls asleep or not).

Posted by: Joe at June 3, 2005 05:15 AM

Fruit Salad, yummy yummy. . .I'm glad my kids are 6 and 4 1/2 now because their viewing requests have changed considerably, but mostly because I'm sick of "their songs" being my songs.

I'm sure you've all done it, driving in your car and you burst out singing something like "Fruit Salad, yummy, yummy".

Anyway, wake up Jeff and go take Dorothy for a walk or something

Posted by: Scott at June 4, 2005 07:31 AM

Hey--Ringo doesn't deserve such a comparison! Interestingly enough, he did get the most fan mail...

Posted by: Anna at June 4, 2005 08:03 AM

Okay, I was really surprised to not hear anything about this here on the board, but here goes......
I have twins, age 2, so right in prime-Wiggles age. We diligently watch two back-to-back episodes each morning on both Disney channels. On the first episode, it is always the older shows. On the second episode, it is the "Network Wiggles" version. So here's my question- did Anthony have a nose job, a face lift or something seriously drastic? Because he does NOT look the same.......this has been bugging me for so long. I have even spent time online searching for some info that will satisfy my curiosity. I was convinced for a long time that it was a different guy, but no, his name is still on the credits. Please- someone let me know what is going on! It drives me CRAZY everytime I see him!

Posted by: Jennie at June 5, 2005 12:44 AM

the only thing I noticed about Anthony that was different is his sideburns, and overall he just seems to be more hairy.. you got to figure though, those older shows are almost 10 years old, so they also aged a bit since then

Posted by: kathy at June 6, 2005 08:21 AM

Has everyone completly forgotten Animaniacs, Pete & Pete, and Rocko's Modern Life? That's the stuff my generation grew up on, and I think it explains a lot.

That said, I FEEL for the Rugrats generation. They never had a chance...

But why does Dora the Explorer get a free pass? This show annoys me more then any other; if Dora talks to her viewers as one would a brain-dead hampster, how does she expect them to pick up Spanish as well?

This little girl's constant audience-berrating and questioning leaves me dizzy, but maybe that's just because I deny her answers.

Your next stop is the treehourse Dora! The Mother*&@^$# TREEHOUSE! Leave me ALONE!

Posted by: Marilee at June 6, 2005 01:51 PM

how could I have forgotten Pete & Pete and Animaniacs!! Both terrific shows..thank you so much for bringing those up...

Posted by: kathy at June 6, 2005 02:00 PM

Nobody mentioned Tom and Jerry ... That's what I had when I was a kid! Tom and Jerry Ruled!

Posted by: Mike at June 7, 2005 06:03 AM

I always thought that Jeff was the "special" friend.

We drove 14 hours, once, listening to Wiggles music (the things we do to keep two-year-olds happy). The first two hours were unbearable, then we grew special notch filters for their music in our brains.

Our kid put it best one morning when she announced "You know, Boohbah is weird."

I miss Ren and Stimpy and PeeWee's Playhouse.

Posted by: Ru at June 7, 2005 10:27 PM

Love the wiggles. Love Jeff. Went to a W concert with my 3 and 2 yr old and sat in the nosebleed section. Jeff tromped all the way up to our level and shook hands with my little boy. He's aces in my book.

I think they are awesome. There must be something wrong with me. I like the doodlebops too.

Posted by: linda at June 8, 2005 12:08 AM

Ahhh, Chairy, I still miss thee. And it's really tragic to no longer be able to sing the "parts of the nervous system" song (all I can hear is Pinky chiming in with "brain stem! brain stem!") but..
The boohbahs are my new gods - you MUST check them out at but if you accidentally go to do check out the cuteness!

Posted by: hornhead at June 9, 2005 11:45 AM

Does anyone remember the magic garden with Carole and Paula, the chuckle patch and the story box? I still have nightmares thinking about that creepy story box song. The only reason I watched was to see Carole......she was smoking! I 've seen them in a recent interview and Carole still isn't too shabby.

Posted by: ACPlayer2 at June 10, 2005 12:17 AM

the wiggles have got to be the most annoying show in the world. they are making a show about daily life and trying to make it interesting. all they do is sing "motivational" songs and ride around in a big red car. i'd rather watch the doodle bops any day- at least you know whay you'll be seeing. and the pirate with that stupid dog! the pirate fights people by tickleing them with his "feather-sword" speak of the devil, they're on right now.they are making that F***ing dinosaur pass a smiley face and frowny face sign over and over.each time she passes to the frowny face, she becomes "sad. and everytime she passes to the smiley face she becomes annoying and giggly.the only reason i ever watch the show with my nephew is because the lead singer isn't that bad looking. i'm 15 and even i can see this show is pathetic and none to educational.

Posted by: ankhofbloodlust at June 10, 2005 08:45 AM

Dear ankhofbloodlust,


Now you can't say you never learned anything from watching Doodle Bops.

Posted by: hornhead at June 10, 2005 11:14 AM

When i saw the wiggles my penis wiggled off and i had to shoot it!
Honestley if i met jackass i mean jeff i would
grab him stuff him in my car drive him to
california have Michael Jackson molest him
take him to OJ Simpson have him smack him
put him in a meat grinder and shit on his asian ass!

Posted by: Anonymous at June 10, 2005 11:42 AM

I personally find the Wiggles quite creepy -- even worse than Barney.

Posted by: Tyler at June 11, 2005 10:36 PM

The Wiggles rock. If it wasn't for Jeff, Henry the Octopus would not have a voice. BTW, these guys can play, I've worked with them before, and they are great guys.
Oh and before anyone knocks Anthony, he did win Bachalor of the Year a few years back, and under his skivvy he is hiding a lot of tattoos.

Posted by: Rebecca at June 12, 2005 03:00 AM

behind russell crow and nicole kidman, the wiggles are the highest paid entertainers in australia....

Posted by: money at June 13, 2005 10:25 PM

An australian radio show did some talkback about the best music to "bonk" to, and I remember some woman suggesting the wiggles. Since we had a 2 year old at the time, we were forced to agree. Put the video in and keep the kid busy for a while.

Posted by: robert at June 15, 2005 12:53 AM

I drove 1200 miles listening to nothing but the wiggles to get closer to the 2 year old life I'm suddenly involved with. I wanted to get on her level. By the end of the trip I became obsessed. At first, THE MOM (whom I'm obviously desperately in love with) thought my wiggles comments were cute. Then she started looking at me weird. I still hear Hot Potato as I try to go to sleep. I can't get them out of my head. I smoke a ton of pot and drink wine till I spin, but they're still there! How can I get this monkey off my back? Here I am ay almost 4am posting on a fuckin wiggles site! Please help, before it's too late!

Posted by: Godzilla at June 15, 2005 03:39 AM

I was hoping that someone would respond back to this, as it is my first time "blogging." I thought this was a venue for some single parent folks...thanks all

Posted by: Lisa G at June 16, 2005 06:51 PM

One of my all time hated kids shows is Dora the Explorer. They repeat EVERYTHING at least three times on the show. How annoying! What do they think, that kids are deaf ro stupid? My two year old yells at the TV, "I already said MAP you moron!" If the two year olds of the world hate being played down to imagine how much more annoying it is for the adults who have to suffer thru the shows.

Posted by: Naomi at June 17, 2005 02:39 PM

Dude, you are out of this world. OUT- rageous.

Posted by: chef 'em out at June 17, 2005 02:45 PM

I've seen the wiggles before. They're all fucking gay man. Four grown men living together, always wearing neon colors? Singing, giggling, and dancing all the time? Fags dude. Fags.

Posted by: Ashley at June 17, 2005 03:57 PM

i recall watching them while minding my friend's son, while she was off for a night out. and i must say...

wow, what a bunch of fucktards. and i agree with Naomi. kids know when something is total shit.

Posted by: mary at June 17, 2005 09:48 PM

Steve....would you run away with me?

Posted by: Cecilia at June 21, 2005 05:17 PM

The wiggles are total tards. Tards as in retards that don't deserve the "re".

Posted by: That Bum at June 23, 2005 08:57 PM

The Wiggles AND the Doodlebops are a waste of air time.

Posted by: Himself at June 24, 2005 12:41 PM

I also agree wit Naomi. Couldn't Swiper at LEAST have an uzi or an M16?

Posted by: Himself at June 24, 2005 12:44 PM

My old favorite was Tom and Jerry.

Posted by: Himself (again) at June 24, 2005 12:53 PM
ar.$skin.$extension); ?>