April 11, 2005

i blame george washington carver

The people who make Jif are trying to kill me.

This is one of those little things that just eats at my brain. Here's a jar of "Simply Jif" peanut butter. It contains slightly less sugar than regular Jif. It also contains a slightly huge problem.

There's only one thing that is "simply Jif"-- a jar of JIF!

The very moment you alter the Jif recipe in the tiniest, teeniest, eensie-weensiest way, it's no longer Jif. In fact, it's simply NOT Jif!

To all readers of The Sneeze who make Jif: feel free to call your new product "SIMPLER JIF" or "SLIGHTLY-LESS-SWEET JIF" OR "PRETENDING IT'S SKIPPY JIF" but please stop calling it "SIMPLY JIF." Not just because it's silly, but because you're giving me an ulcer.

Is there a National Peanut Butter Council? I'm filing a complaint. This is lunacy!

And I need to start drinking simply decaf.

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Posted by Steven | Archive
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