Last week I walked into our bedroom and found my wife under the covers. She was reading a book called "The Nursing Mother's Guide to Weaning."

I slipped into bed, snuggled up next to her and struck up a little sexy conversation...

Me: "The Mother's Guide to Weaning. Would I like it?"

Her: "Probably not."

Me: "Is the woman who wrote that book a well-respected weaner?"

Her: "I'm ignoring you."

Me: "Why? I'm just curious about your book."

Long beat.

Me: "I'm sorry. But tell me this, when you read that book does it make you feel a little weanie?"

Her: "Why are you such an idiot?"

And that, my friends, is how you set the stage for some sweet sweet lovin'.

(And just in case you're out of the loop, we have two kids. She's not nursing the four-year-old, you maniacs.)