November 12, 2004

The Ballad of Pissing Me Off

One of television's most beloved theme songs is from Gilligan's Island, but there's something about it that has been troubling me for years.

The end of the song goes...

The ship's aground on the shore of this
uncharted desert isle,
with Gilligan, the Skipper too,
the Millionaire, and his Wife,
the Movie Star,
the Professor and Mary Ann,
here on Gilligan's Isle.

What's wrong here? The show is not called GILLIGAN'S ISLE!

And what really annoys me is that they didn't even put in "isle" so it could be part of some clever rhyme they couldn't otherwise say. It's not rhyming with anything! Except for maybe the earlier line "This uncharted desert isle." And who the hell told them to say it there in the first place?!

It happens again during the closing credits...

So join us here each week my friend,
You're sure to get a smile.
From seven stranded Castaways,
Here on Gilligan's Isle.

Goddamn. Was this really necessary? Something's gotta rhyme with "island." How about: Thailand? Byland? My land? Scott Weiland?

Fine, don't even make it rhyme perfectly. How about this--

So join us here each week my friend
You're sure to be smilin'
From seven stranded Castaways,

Done. Was that so hard?!

You know why you never hear people sing "And that's the way they became the Brady Batch?" It's not the name of the show, bitch!

So, the next time you ponder the age-old question of "Ginger or Mary Ann?" The official answer is now: Who the fuck cares?! WHY DIDN'T THEY SAY ISLAND?!

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Posted by Steven | Archive
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