As a kid I was obsessed with the Guinness Book of World Records. It was the greatest. I would order it every year at school. I'll proudly admit, I didn't care much about the amazing feats of the record-holders, so much as I just liked gawking at the pictures of freaky people.

One image burned into my memory for life was the fat twins riding motorcycles.

Here they are. Billy and Benny McCrary. All 1300 pounds of them. They also went by the stage names Billy and Benny McGuire. Surely this allowed them to avoid recognition while not performing.

When I first tried searching for the above picture, I googled the phrase "World's Fattest Twins."

Good ol' Google served up a few links, but also gently tried to help me not be such a lame weirdo. It suggested that maybe I meant to be looking up other things, and that we could just chalk this up to a typo.

Thanks, Google. I appreciate it, but at this point you're too late to help me.