We've all played that Would You Rather game where you are forced to make perplexing choices for amusement. A classic example being: WOULD YOUR RATHER... watch a porno movie with your parents OR watch a porno movie starring your parents?

Sure it's entertaining, but those choices are difficult. I have enough stress in my life what with raising kids, the threat of terrorism, all the shame associated with having extra-large genitalia, etc...

I want everyone to have a peaceful and relaxing July 4th-- so sit back, take a deep breath, and enjoy my simpler, stress-free, "heart-healthy" version of this popular game...

(See? Easy like Sunday morning. I can feel the tension melting away. Okay, try this one...)

(I'd say we just gave Ol' Mr. Stress a kick in the keister! Get ready, the last one is tricky.)

I don't know about you, but I feel like I just had a massage. Have a great 4th of July, guys! (And bring it on, Frankenstein!)