Man, that is sexy as hell!

She sounds like a Southie (meaning south of Boston). Am I right?

And no, she isn't exactly difficult to look at. Any chick who lets loose with The C Word on occasion is A-OK with me.

not only does she have the mouth a gay sailor but she can knock em back just as fast as a 250 pound drunken ape. i have to say the girl is funny but she forgot my birthday too.

cheers

Why go out with her? I already came.

Ah, if only I were single again. The way she says "cuntrag" just makes my heart aflutter.

What is this, a porn site and/or a dating service? Sheesh...

Hehe.

:O)

Yikes! Sounds like my mom.

Which port is she docking at?

Kevin- your mom says cuntrag?

ain't no way she's a shouthie girl

laugh my ass of is all i can say... and yes she is hot

So, did she get any dates out of it? Very cute
:-)

I'm not surprised that she is single if she's going to beat herself up like that over forgetting a birthday. Now, forgetting a funeral... well, then you should just give yourself a time-out.

Jason,

While I appreciate your concern for my self-image -- and my sex life -- you clearly you have no understanding of just how exceptional, dear Steven is. I would sooner tie myself to railroad tracks than forget to honor the day of his birth for the (third) year in a row.

Best,

Jessica

Addedum: My previous post was directed at "Me"

Not Jason, whoever that may be.

Apoligies,

Jessica

I'm gonna have to say that the heart felt manner in which the final "Awwwww Fuc...." was delivered, well I'm not ashamed to say it brought a little tear to my eyes. ::grin::

As far as I'm concerned, Jessica is the best (not to mention hottest!) friend that Steve could ask for!

In fact... $hit..I'd damn well like her to be my $%*&ing friend too!

Best wishes to Jessica,

-Michael

Jessica,

It sounds like you a great friend to Steve. We could all use a friend like you!

Patrick

I have dreamed of a girl that said those words. Cuntrag, Douchebag, and holy shit she is good looking to.

Lucky bastard

yeah, im cool.
i found this site thorugh http://www.rantsinyourpants.com/stupid_weekly.htm
oh yeah, i live in Australia too.

Auugh. This is the fourth or fifth time in 24 hours that I've been to this page. I must be INSANE! Where can I meet a girl like this?? North Dakota is short on 20-something women and they don't say "cunt rag" or "douche bag" up here. Mostly they say, "fuck it's cold!"

Never mind Jessica. I wanna know who's the sexy mama who says "Saved message, Thursday October second at six thirty six p.m."

Now SHE sounds sexy as hell, in that "I'm a librarian but I wear a leather thong and like to drag you around the living room in a dog collar" sort of way.

Maybe I'm just projecting.

Ah, I need to get the hell out of grad-school! Jessica sounds like one of the highly educated who's choice of vernacular suites the moment exceptionally well. It's sad really, I don't meet women like Jessica very often so Steve when you say she's single I begin to cry and dream of those days beyond this academia thing.
Thanks for the laugh!

Ciao!

That looks like the beginning of a fine and supple breast peaking out of the side of that low cut... (shudder) top.
Might I suggest that Jessica open (or at least be on) a nude site on the Internet and then post that URL here?

If not, might I beg?

Supple, yes.

Available for viewing? Not necessarily.

"Not necessarily"? That leaves me with some hope and hardens my resolve, so to speak.
I don't mind saying that I'm a rather brilliant programmer as well as amateur photographer and that with a body like yours, an imagination like mine and some under-the-counter pharmaceuticals, we could go far.

Ok, if you're too shy for the Internet what if I give my real email address and promise to keep the pictures for myself? Still no? How about we start with dinner? My wife makes a sweet baked lentil casserole.

Did I mention that both of us are into yoga and are v-e-r-y flexible?

"My wife makes a great lentil casserole" that is humor right there..uh oh gotta go, the wife says its time to log off for the night. Gotta go clear my history file and then, well, you know.

out.

Quite possibly the greatest voicemail of all time, even beats my mom's "I swore I was going to beat your ass on this day X number of years ago. Happy Birthday you little shit" by miles.

Dave!

What a rapscallion are YOU?! Send me those pictures of you and the missus pretzel-style, and we'll take it from there....

Best,

Jessica

Jessica,

You used rapscallion in a sentence! So not only are you pulchritudinous and unpretentious... but you've got a little freak in you too?? I believe I'm smitten! ::grin::

Ok now use the word libidinous!

I'm thinking a loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thee! or A sub and a six pack... your call!

-Michael

All I can say is, "Steven, please become my friend so I can miss your birthday, send you a vulgar apology, have it put up on the internet along with a picture of myself and have lots of people comment on how hot I am"......Please?

You know what they say -- the path to a woman-with-a-mouth-like-a-truck driver's heart is through her stomach....

When you suggest a libidinous romp, Michael, surely you mean betwixt me and the sub, no? And by sub, you don't mean "Subway" you mean a no frills, Boston-issue submarine sandwich washed down with a Sunday afternoon snuggle and the New England Patriots -- right?

I DO!

Jessica

P.S. Lizzy, only Steve's mother calls him "Steven" -- and occasionally "Stevie."

Jessica -

It's not necessarily the mouth or choice of words, but rather the confidence you so obviously exude that makes you so desirable to us guys who are sick of the same old meek little girls we made a mistake having for girlfriends.

Very funny, at least when your friends forget they apologize. lol

Jessica-
May I post a few shots of you with that submarine on my website? Since you seem shy, we'll preserve your annonymity by referring to you as "RappyNag" ... What do you say?

HILARITY!

What can I say, Boys...

To Chris: Where have you been all my life?? I'll tell you to fuck off then invite you into my bed of fine linens for a "South Park" marathon any day!

Mikey...I would gladly FTP you said compromising photos of ma'self and that dashing "sub," but I promised Stevie he could sell them to "The Star" once I'm good and famous...on second thought, I think I sniff a Rolling Stone cover.....

Nuzzle,

J

Mark!

Sorry for mis-adressing,,,now I almost feel like I OWE you the pics...

J

Oh, just when I'd given up on American women I stumble across an enigmatic, vulgar-yet-sublime example like sweet Jessica. Life is just too short and this space-time continuum has too many limitations...maybe in an alternate, Zen-dominated universe I could...never mind. Just let me dream...

Ok, so I may not know all the fancy fifty dollar words being thrown around here, but I also won't pretend that I do. The only uncommon word I like to use is "akimbo"...and I can't find a witty place to use it.

I once went to Waffle House by myself and had an informative exchange with a random trucker about life, destiny, and the consistency of perfect grits.

Jess, you're beautiful, but your mouth doesn't come close to sounding like my Waffle House trucker.

/doesn't like grits

Jess, I can't wait to see your Pats meet my Eagles in the Bowl! Good Luck; I'll 'cheers' a beer to your boys this Sunday.

PS: ThumbWrestle for myself hosting a JessSuperBowlParty if said teams progress?

Dude,

The Pats will fuck shit up tomorrow. It's a bad day to be a Hoosier.

XO
J

Ahhhh...Wooohoooo! Go. Cardiac Cats. ...oh and hey Jessica.

Heh - "The Pats will fuck shit up tomorrow". Almost.

I wish I could pretend that having the Pats in the Superbowl made up for not having the Sox in the series, but I just cannot tell a lie. Actually, I can, and pretty well, too. But I don't feel like pretending I care about the Pats one tenth of how much I care about the Sox. Pity me.

How could you not bask in the glory that was Foxboro yesterday? The snow all through the first half, the unearthly might of Ty Law, the vision that is Tom Brady (well, sort of). It was a great day for all Massachusetts-kind. I must admit, I have never been that into the sox, or baseball. I wouls love them to win a series, but more as a show of Boston pride than anything else. I far prefer the military violence and drama of the football gridiron to the doddering pace of baseball. Though, truth be told, I like anything that gives me an excuse to drink during the day..

Bottoms up!

J

She said douchebag. Jessica is awesome.