September 10, 2003

Mommy, Fonzie's Talking Crazy

Fonz_Postcard As you may know from this site, when I was a kid I liked me some Happy Days. (You might remember I wrote an angry letter to President Ford when he pre-empted an episode of it.)

After I received my so-so response from the White House, I dared to write a letter to the only man more important than our nation's leader. The coolest man on the planet. The Fonz himself.

I don't have a clue what I wrote to him about. I'm sure it was dumb. A year must have gone by with no response, and I gave up hope. Then one day, out of the blue, I received an envelope from Los Angeles with a Happy Days logo on it. I nearly lost my mind.

I tore it open to find a Fonzie postcard, wth a note written to me on the back. Sweet Mother of God! I was shaking. Fonzie wrote back to me! TO ME! This could be enough to finally make me cool!

I flipped it over and started to read what the Fonz had to say. For some reason, Fonzie wanted to tell me that "Self respect is the cornerstone of joy."

Huh?

Wait a sec. Fonzie doesn't talk like this. What's going on?! I mean, it's a nice sentiment and all, but I'm eight years old Fonzie! What the F are you talking about?!

I sadly realized what I held in my hands was not a letter from The Fonz, but a crappy pre-printed postcard. Not only was it pre-printed, but it contained a cryptic message no kid could understand. I can still remember my mom trying to explain to me what the hell a cornerstone was.

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I was broken-hearted at the time, but looking back I now think this postcard is the greatest thing ever. The picture of Fonzie above is a scan of the actual post card. This picture to the right is the back of it. Read the quasi-insulting birthday wishes and you'll see why there is a 60% chance I cried. Click here or on the back of the card to see Winkler's words of wisdom full-size.

That year Christmas came early courtesy of Henry Winkler. Then he took it right back, crumpled it up, and rode over it a few times with his motorcycle.

Fonzie Searches

It is believed that the actual "Cornerstone of Self Respect" is now hidden deep below the surface of the Pacific Ocean. Here is a photo of The Fonz on the infamous day he lost it there.

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Posted by Steven | Archive
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