I was hanging out in Starbucks yesterday morning, being the guy with the laptop in Starbucks, and I saw a woman take out a small tupperware container of fruit and yogurt that she had brought from home. She proceeded to tear open a few packets of Equal and sprinkle them on top.

She reached into her purse, took out more packets of Equal, and dumped them on, too. And then more Equal. And then some more. I was getting brain cancer just watching her. I guess she noticed me staring because she said, "I'm sorry. I know. It's terrible. I'm addicted."

I said, "I know it's none of my business, but now that we're talking about it -- can you tell me just how many packets you put on there?"

She took more than a moment to count all the empties in her lap. When she was done, she looked up and gave me the total:

30 PACKETS!!!!!!!!!

Holy crap AND shit. She put 30 packets of Equal in this little container of fruit and yogurt. Then she said, "I know it's a lot, but the good news is I've given up sugar. I'm really proud of that." I'm proud I didn't yuke on my laptop.