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Hello eveyb240rd2(*98jsls...!!

(Damn, it's been so long I'm even rustier at this than I thought.)

HELLO -- WHOEVER IS LEFT OF MY INTERNET FRIENDS! I hope all 3 of you are doing well. What's up?

I don't even know where we should jump in. I suppose we could talk about how Eddie the Extra-Angry Betta Fish passed away a couple of months ago. Why not? Death is always a hoot.

(If you're not familiar with Eddie and how he lovingly attacked me and my son, that's over here.)

I could tell for a week or so that Eddie didn't look good and was on his way out. I tried a few different things I read on the Internet but they didn't help. Possibly because those things were mostly cocktail recipes and reviews of cool apps I should download.

When he finally stopped moving I wasn't sure how hard my boys would take it. I put a little towel around the tank so they wouldn't walk in and see Eddie just lying there. As soon as Raisins (now 7) saw the towel, he new something was up.

"Is Eddie dead?!"

"Yeah, buddy," I said gently.

"GOOD! I HATED THAT FISH!"

It's hard to watch to watch your child go through heartbreak like that.

Next up was Lux (now 11!). He came in and saw the towel and also immediately knew it wasn't good news. "Did Eddie die?" he asked.

"I'm afraid he did."

Raisins tried to comfort his brother, "HE USED TO PUFF UP HIS GILS AND FREAK ME OUT! WHEN CAN WE GET RID OF THE TANK???"

I asked Lux if he wanted to say goodbye before we got rid of Eddie. He did. My wife took Raisins out of the room so Lux could pay his respects. He lifted the towel and saw Eddie's skinny lifeless body lying on the bottom of the tank.

He said, "Goodbye, Eddie." Then he sadly lowered the towel.

Just between us, I thought he could have said something a little more poignant like, "We only had you a year, but you swam your way into our hearts." Actually that's horrible. He did fine. I'm also happy to report that it was at this point Lux started to cry. It's not that I enjoy my children's sadness, it's just nice to know at least one of my kids might not grow up to be a heartless serial killer.

Lux did not want to be around to watch Eddie be dispatched. I can't blame him. My wife and I took the little guy into the bathroom and prepared to do the deed. "I can't believe I let myself get attached to that stupid fish," my wife said.

I admitted I was going to miss him, too. As I said a little goodbye in my head, Raisins strolled in. "OH MY GOD, ARE YOU FLUSHING HIM DOWN THE TOILET?!! THAT'S HILARIOUS!!! BWAHAHAHA!!!"

And with that I sent Eddie on his way.

It's sad that we don't appreciate things until they're gone -- like the McRib or Al Roker's head fat. Then again Eddie bit both me and my son and I was the only one who ever fed him or cleaned his tank.

I think Raisins might be right on this one.