January 9, 2009

What I Did On My Christmas Vacation

An hour before we left for the airport, Raisins started complaining that his ankle hurt. My first thought was he just twisted it a little playing, but a good daddy can always tell when something isn't quite right with his kids. Which is why I said, "You're fine. Put your shoes on."

Over the next two days in NY, his ankle got swollen and red and he started running a fever. Obviously I was getting concerned because, basically, I had a lot of fun stuff planned with my friends. But being parents who kick ass, we took him to the pediatrician, where they said it looked like an infection and suggested we go straight to the ER. Luckily I was in the mood to be surrounded by sick people in an uncomfortable waiting room for 5 hours, so things were definitely looking up.

For as long as it took to finally get him seen, they made up for it by very quickly wanting to jab him with many needles. As everyone knows, 5-year-olds LOVE getting needles. Of course, we ended up with the one kid who just doesn't care for them. I'm not kidding, he really frowns on it.

And for a boy with such a limited vocabulary a few months ago, he managed to scream things that seemed perfectly designed to shatter and destroy all hearts within a 20-foot radius. Like when they were trying to impale his hand with the IV and he sadly howled, "OWWW! OOWWWW!!!!! IT'TH HURTING REALLY BAAAAADLY!!!" He could have just said "IT HURTS!!!" or "IT HURTS BAD!!!!" But there was just something about the proper use of adverbs ("really badly") squeaking out his scared little throat made it all that much more pathetic and horrible.

After hours and hours and HOURS of bloodwork and MRIs and poking and drawing on his foot with pens, it all seemed to be looking like a bone infection in his ankle. Neither the doctors, nor my son seemed to understand that this was supposed to be my vacation. But I've come to accept that people can just be selfish like that.

As for what caused it, no one can say for sure. He could have scratched himself and a bug got in and just settled in his ankle, or he could have been sick a few weeks ago then hurt his ankle and the bacteria wriggled its way in there. Who knows? Why am I no longer a virgin? Why do I keep trying papaya when it always tastes like vomit? It's just one of those mysteries.

After a few days in the hospital, the doctors decided they needed to operate on his ankle to clean things out and help the antibiotics get in there. Since my son has asthma and is also pretty much allergic to the planet Earth, the thought of him getting anesthesia for the first time was horrifying. Over and over different doctors and nurses with clipboards would routinely ask us, "Is he allergic to anything?" To which we would mindlessly rattle off, "Peanuts, tree nuts, eggs, wheat, milk and sesame." If I'm ever dozing and you startle me, there's now a good chance I'll bolt up like a sitcom character and say, "PEANUTS, TREE NUTS, EGGS, WHEAT, MILK AND SESAME!" (My friend, Stephen, likes to point out that when people are really startled awake, they pretty much just look around for a second and then go back to sleep.)

Overall my wife and I had done a pretty good job of holding it together, but one of the few times we lost it in unison was when we were talking to the anesthesiologist moments before the surgery. He could tell we were freaking out and turned back as they were wheeling my son away to say, "I have three children. I'm going to take care of him like he's my own. He's going to be okay." On cue, tears flew out of our heads like beads of sweat in a Cathy comic strip. (It also didn't help that Raisins was on the gurney screaming, "I JUST WANT TO WALK AGAIN!!! I JUST WANT TO BE NORMAL!!!") What a dick.

The surgeon told us the whole thing should only take 45 minutes to an hour max and sent us down to the main lobby to wait. The first 45 minutes passed relatively quickly. Time started to slow down during the fifteen minutes after that. Throughout the next fifteen minutes, the passage of time abruptly stopped. I could literally feel years peeling off my life as I paced around the lobby like a sad cliche. At this point I was positive the doctors were just figuring out how to break the horrible news to us about the reaction to the anesthesia, the brain damage, the coma -- then the surgeon showed up and said everything went fine and I was all happy again.

After 6 days and one more procedure to install an extra-fun IV called a "pic-line" that gets deep down into your big chest veins, we finally got to take him home. The asterisk on all this is he needs to receive IV antibiotics every 6 hours for the next 4-6 weeks. And from beginning to end, each dose takes about an hour to do. FUN.

The logistics of getting him back to California included a relaxing round of us giving him the IV meds in a mexican restaurant in the airport. Since we didn't have the IV poll with us, I got to hold the bag up in the air for half an hour while my wife attempted to sterilize any stray bits of fajita that might still be on our table. (To the patient and tolerant staff at Revolucion Restaurant in Terminal 5 at JFK, I may put you all in my will.)

We are all back home now safe and sound and as I type this, Raisins is off getting his stitches out. Huge, colossal thanks to my wife, our parents, my sister-in-law, my Aunt Fran and Uncle Mike, the fantastic doctors at Beach Pediatric in Island Park, NY, Lindsay from Child Life, and the whole pediatric staff of Winthrop University Hospital in Mineola, NY for helping us make it through this little adventure.

And I must not forget my very good friend Dan, who, moments after we raced home from the airport to frantically give the boy another dose of IV that was then two hours late -- pulled up at our house with two giant bags of amazing dinner from Arnie Morton's to give me a hug and say, "I'm not coming in. I just figured I'd give you guys one less thing to worry about after a very long day."

I can feel the tears wanting to fly out of my head all over again.

(But enough with the glum stuff. UP NEXT: Raisins 2008.)



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Posted by Steven | Archive
Comments

Glad all is well in the end. That sort of stuff is very odd to a kid, you just don't quite get what is happening.
I was hospitalized as a kid with a staph infection under very similar circumstances. The good part was getting free presents from the Eddie Meeath penny fund since it was right around Christmas. Sure I had to be stuck in a hospital bed stuck with needles over and over but I got free toys.

Posted by: Mark at January 9, 2009 9:48 AM

Steve,
So glad your son's okay. Give him a big hug from the Internet.

Posted by: Bondfool at January 9, 2009 9:51 AM

Wow. If projectile crying were ever justified, this is it. Glad he's okay. I know you're asking yourself why it couldn't have happened at a time when you could take emergency leave from work-work, instead of right in the middle of vacation. I would be, too.

Posted by: Ivy at January 9, 2009 9:51 AM

Whew! Glad you made it home, and so sorry for your trials on vaca!
As a nurse, I have to thank you for not making all the hospital staff sound like assholes, as is the case in nearly every book, movie, blog, etc etc. Lots of us ARE assholes, but plenty of us are NOT.
As the sister of an anesthesiologist, the often unsung heroes of the OR, it made me smile that that's who was able to put you (somewhat) at ease. They really are a special breed.

Speedy Recovery, Raisins!

Posted by: Coby at January 9, 2009 9:52 AM

tell raisens to get better and that we are looking forward to a song written by him about the whole ordeal.

Posted by: derrickgott007 at January 9, 2009 9:54 AM

Glad to here Raisins is doing well. And it sounds like that Dan is a keeper.

Posted by: Jerry at January 9, 2009 9:54 AM

I'm so glad that everything did work out for you. My heart fell out of my chest for him!

Posted by: Talula0658 at January 9, 2009 9:56 AM

Glad to hear your son's okay. Around our house, "Put these BACK in your FOOD!" has become the standard expression of faux outrage. Tell him The Internet says hi.

Posted by: EarBucket at January 9, 2009 9:56 AM

Holy crap, Steve!!

I'm glad things are looking up (though that whole IV thing is, I'm sure, still annoying if not scary.)

Hopefully he'll recover quickly, as kids are wont to do.

I wish you family all the best.

Posted by: Margaret at January 9, 2009 9:57 AM

Your family has been on my mind ever since I read about the stay in the hospital. I'm relieved things are going better. I hope you're not beating yourself up too much over not noticing anything was wrong earlier. Parenting is a big kick in the ass most of the time. No sense kicking your own ass, too.

Posted by: AuntMarvel at January 9, 2009 10:00 AM

I hate papaya too. Glad he's better.

Posted by: John at January 9, 2009 10:01 AM

After all the pain and tears are over, I hope that he uses this experience to find new and interesting ways to annoy all of you for years to come.

Get well, Raisins!

Posted by: Keith at January 9, 2009 10:02 AM

oh, poor things, all of you. big hugs from an internet stranger.

Posted by: bekka at January 9, 2009 10:06 AM

Holy CRAP. Steven, tears were squirting out of my head just reading this. What a horror story! Thank dog things work out okay in the end. Bless your friends.

Posted by: Jessica at January 9, 2009 10:07 AM

I'm so glad Raisins is on the mend. (((hugs))) for the entire family.

Posted by: Compwalla at January 9, 2009 10:07 AM

"On cue, tears flew out of our heads like beads of sweat in a Cathy comic strip."

Wow, you totally made me both start crying and laughing at the same exact time.

I'm so glad the little guy is all right!! Wishing a speedy recovery for Raisins.

Posted by: Metaphysical Junkie at January 9, 2009 10:10 AM

The big question is, how are you going to react the NEXT time he says his ankle hurts? Good luck with that!

Posted by: clay at January 9, 2009 10:11 AM

Glad to here the little tyke is OK.

Posted by: Seitz at January 9, 2009 10:13 AM

Ow! I just pulled a lacrimal duct! Seriously, this story made my heart hurt. Thanks a LOT, Steve! (Glad he's OK.)

Posted by: Leslie Evans at January 9, 2009 10:14 AM

I have a friend at Winthrop and yes, they are the best around. Glad to hear things are OK with raisins and I'll tell my friend about your site.

Hope the rest of the year is just as much fun

Posted by: Tim at January 9, 2009 10:14 AM

Steve, Raisins, & Family,

Get better soon! The internet loves you!

Posted by: Krista at January 9, 2009 10:20 AM

That is some scary shit, Steve. I'm very glad he's alright, if still somewhat inconvenient.

Posted by: ChiaLynn at January 9, 2009 10:23 AM

I second the request for a song from Raisins!

Posted by: BonzoGal at January 9, 2009 10:23 AM

Geez, that's rough. I've had a pic-line before (and other not-so-fun hospital adventures). Makes a person tougher I guess. Tell that kid to get better nice and fast so he can go tell all his friends about the wicked cool stuff he got to see in the hospital. :)

Posted by: lurkisblurkis at January 9, 2009 10:27 AM

Wow, what a terrifying ordeal! I'm very sorry that your family had to go through it!

Your story brought more than a couple of tears over here. We've had an unexpected surgery experience with our daughter. I know the feelings.

Best wishes for a speedy recovery for all of you!

Posted by: Ru at January 9, 2009 10:40 AM

Dear god I almost cried several times while reading this. It's like Extreme Vacation: Tears Edition. I am SO glad your family and especially your son is healthy and getting back to "normal" again.

Posted by: Anna Potatoes at January 9, 2009 10:44 AM

Did you get to the Statue of Liberty? Isn't the view from the top cool?

Posted by: Tom Gammill at January 9, 2009 10:44 AM

He owes you a New York re-do.

But seriously for all that it sucked, glad to hear your kid is on the mend.

Posted by: Kny at January 9, 2009 10:46 AM

My Goodness! Raisins has had a very rough trip to NY! I hope it doesn't scar him from ever wanting to visit NY again! I'm glad all is well!! For you and your wife too!

Posted by: Sara at January 9, 2009 10:47 AM

oh my god! your poor little guy. what an ordeal he had to go through. i hope he recovers quickly.

Posted by: kerry at January 9, 2009 10:49 AM

Jeebus.. all the best to you, Raisins and the rest of the gang at home. <3

Posted by: El Jeffe at January 9, 2009 10:50 AM

Liz is to cantaloupe as Steve is to Papaya.

Godspeed little Raisins Sneeds.

Posted by: Lizardqueen at January 9, 2009 10:53 AM

Oh, wow. I'm so glad he's okay!!

Posted by: Jessica at January 9, 2009 10:55 AM

A little breastmilk will help him (and you) feel better. Squirt him right in the eye.

Posted by: Effman at January 9, 2009 10:56 AM

Very happy to hear things went well. Bummer your vaca got interrupted... that is the worst!
As a father of two little ones, this story scares me.
Right now my only concern is getting my daughter potty-trained. Ugh!

Posted by: Jeremy at January 9, 2009 10:57 AM

Yikes. Sorry man. That sounds awful.
Did the X-rays show anything stuck in his foot?

When I was a kid, I got a similar bone infection after I stepped on Tom Gammill's neck and got a little splinter lodged in my ankle.

Posted by: Rob Cockerham at January 9, 2009 11:04 AM

I am so glad everything went well and that raisins is on the mend. Prayers for you and your family.

Posted by: Dane Bramage at January 9, 2009 11:10 AM

Raisins sounds like a real trooper. Good to hear you guys came out on top.

Posted by: pennyrobber at January 9, 2009 11:10 AM

Dear Raisins,

Too bad about all the yucky needles and junk. But when it's all over, you will have wicked cool scars to show off to everyone! Get better soon.
Love,
the internet.

Posted by: qt314159265 at January 9, 2009 11:13 AM

When I was about 6 I had a bone infection in my left hip I feel for you and your son. Its excruciating! Apperantly it can be from a smack in the head- *i didn't know that but it explains how I got mine-a few months before I fell out of a tree and smacked my noggin* But any who I have really great memories *not joking* of spending time with my dad while he injected the saline and other iv junk into my arm in the middle of the night. It was a bonding experience. Hope he feels better I used to put cold rags on my hip maybe it will help your little guy.

Posted by: carey at January 9, 2009 11:15 AM

So happy to hear your son is okay - poor little Raisins.
My 4 year old also has asthma and is also allergic to the universe (SHELLFISH, PEAS, BEANS, CHICKPEAS, MELON, AVOCADO, NUTS, TREE NUTS!) and had his tonsils out last year, I know about the anesthetic worries. Very not fun. Hope you all get some rest and an actual vacation soon.

Posted by: Erica at January 9, 2009 11:19 AM

Glad Raisins is doing OK, and that you all made it back safely and sanely.

For the record, though, papaya tastes like armpit, not vomit.

Posted by: Stacy at January 9, 2009 11:20 AM

I'm so glad to hear your boy is feeling better. Best wishes with everything. *e-hugs*

Posted by: Adler at January 9, 2009 11:21 AM

Stacy,
I believe that it is the spice Cumin that tastes like a delicious armpit. I stand by my papaya vomit description.

Posted by: Steve at January 9, 2009 11:24 AM

Ok- first off- Dan rules. 2ndly, I'm glad he's alright- for such a small wizened fruit (?)- those raisins are freaking resilient!

Posted by: repliderium.com at January 9, 2009 11:24 AM

Wow. Just..wow. As a parent, the hospital is no fun place to be with your injured/sick child. Nothing can really come close to how craptastic that feeling is.
I guess part of it has to do with the mini-sized-human packaging and all.
Sounds like you spent your holidays surrounded by some really awesome heroes. Very happy it turned out positive.

Posted by: WingBuilder at January 9, 2009 11:25 AM

Your friend Dan is awesome.

I'd try to watch out for that Stephen guy though. That kind of knowledge can't come from any wholesome kind of activity.

Posted by: monkyhead at January 9, 2009 11:27 AM

to add one more thing don't feel bad about not thinking it was serious at first, my dad and grandparents told me it was growing pains till I got to the point when I could hardly walk . lol my poor dad. total Kudos for being awesome parents ,seriously you guys are real troopers, and hope he feels better!!

Posted by: Carey at January 9, 2009 11:28 AM

Glad Raisins is alright. That doesn't exactly sound like a fun vacation for anyone. Next time, teach him the right time to get sick - when you can miss school. Not missing vacation days!

Posted by: Emily at January 9, 2009 11:29 AM

So glad everything is pretty much back to normal now and that your son is alright!

Posted by: Karl-Philip at January 9, 2009 11:48 AM

Omg poor vacation. I mean, poor Raisins. That must have been terrifying. Tell him people from the internet say he's gonna be just fine. :)

Posted by: katiekawaii at January 9, 2009 11:51 AM

How about a Tree Brains tribute concert for Raisins?
(throws "horns of rock" hand sign)

Glad he's alright now.

Posted by: Knee at January 9, 2009 11:55 AM

So if Raisins is the youngest son, would that make the older brother "Cabbage" ??? I wonder about these things.

At any rate, I hope both of your Sneezlings will enjoy a healthy and happy 2009.

Posted by: Kerry at January 9, 2009 12:18 PM

my vomit tastes like papaya

Posted by: meg at January 9, 2009 12:22 PM

Holy smokes.

Sorry to hear of the ordeal and glad to hear you all are nearly out of the woods. As usual, your writing was wonderful.

Thank you for sharing. Really.

Franklin, "How Many Black Players Are There in the NHL," Peanuts

Posted by: Franklin at January 9, 2009 12:27 PM

I was once startled awake in a hotel room and heard myself shouting, in a very clear voice, "THE INTERNET". So I guess maybe it does happen sometimes?


(also, hooray for your child being mostly-better)

Posted by: j2 at January 9, 2009 12:30 PM

i was once startled awake too, and heard myself saying "they are trying to eradicate all the animals on the planet". wtf. my boyfriend laughed at me. i dumped that mother fucker. animal eradication is no laughing matter.

Posted by: tu madre at January 9, 2009 12:36 PM

Steve, I'm so sorry you had to go through that, but I'm glad he's going to be okay. I can certainly commiserate as a dad - that feeling of helplessness when your kids are sick is gut-wrenching.

Posted by: Brett L. at January 9, 2009 12:48 PM

This is one of the most accurate and honest portrayals of what it's like to be a parent. A great read made even better by the fact that everything turned out well.

Speedy recovery Raisins!

Posted by: Mike at January 9, 2009 1:03 PM

Wow Steve, so glad he's going to be okay. Get well soon Raisins!

Posted by: Mrs. Internet at January 9, 2009 1:11 PM

I've had a pic-line (and the fabulous hour long administering of antibiotics several times a day), which I also got while on vacation for some strange, unknown infection on my chin. It's got to be 1000 times worse when it's your kid.

Glad to hear he's better, sorry it had to be on vacation.

Posted by: Merrie at January 9, 2009 1:11 PM

Oh Steve!
HUGS! I'm so glad to hear you are all safe and sound.

Hospital beds and IV drips are never fun. Hopefully the rest of the year is much much better!

Posted by: Amanda at January 9, 2009 1:15 PM

I didn't read any of that. But agree papaya tastes like vomit, yet continue to eat it.

Posted by: Arthur at January 9, 2009 1:20 PM

Wow! That was one hell of a vacation. Glad Raisins is on the mend. Tell him not to do that again. Kids love it when you tell them what to do.

Posted by: Liz at January 9, 2009 1:24 PM

This is how the tree brain seeks revenge for eating its ancestors. It preys on our young. Lock the doors and put the women and children to bed. They are coming to take over the world one ankle at a time. I'm not lying. I'd go after the one named Raisin too. Tastes like lemony chicken vs. tastes like raisins.

Posted by: Buurs at January 9, 2009 1:40 PM

glad the boy is better, had tears well up in my eyes as I read it, but really, my main focus stayed on the fact that yes, in fact, papaya DOES taste like vomit! I thought I was the only one!

Posted by: Amy at January 9, 2009 1:52 PM

you didnt rub dirt on it did ya? That was your fatal flaw.

Posted by: jim craig at January 9, 2009 1:52 PM

its alright...my mom slipped on the ice on our vacation and broke both wrists and her nose....good shit. Now my dad has to wipe her ass...thats love.

Posted by: Brittany O. at January 9, 2009 1:56 PM

Steve,
Glad your little one's okay!

Posted by: Rick at January 9, 2009 2:19 PM

Steve, I'm very glad that "Raisins" will be ok. And don't feel bad, kids have a habit of complaining about just any old thing- how are we to know when it's an actual REAL problem?

Posted by: Pam at January 9, 2009 2:22 PM

Wow, I wish I send a hug to you, but the best I can do is hug my computer. It's awkward and uncomfortable, but I hope the thought gets across.

Posted by: Jane at January 9, 2009 2:22 PM

Great story. Glad your little boy is OK. And I agree, papaya is disgusting.

Posted by: Jeanne at January 9, 2009 2:26 PM

Your friend is amazing!
Also, so glad your kiddo is ok!!

Posted by: Erin at January 9, 2009 2:34 PM

Ugh... a holiday vacation packed with fear and annoyance for the whole family. Sorry you all had to go through that.

My son is 3 and the worst we've had to deal with so far was an apparently nasty case of pneumonia. He had been coughing badly for almost 2 months straight. We kept going back the the pediatrician, but they said his lungs sounded clear. After the 3rd visit, she sent us to get chest x-rays. She was quite shocked at how bad they looked, and immediately ordered injected antibiotics. A week later he was fine.

Dan Schneider rocks. Makes me want to go watch some old Head of the Class episodes in his honor.

Posted by: JSug at January 9, 2009 2:48 PM

Glad to hear that all is well.

Posted by: Jamwes at January 9, 2009 2:59 PM

Im glad to hear he is ok! Sorry to hear that he got sick in the first place! :( Poor kiddo.

Posted by: Meg Steff at January 9, 2009 3:21 PM

Dude, what a story! I'm so glad it turned out well and hope for a speedy recovery for the Raisin Boy.

Posted by: Louise at January 9, 2009 3:41 PM

Oh man. That's worth a family value sized box of raisins. Poor kid. Poor family. Way to go, Dan.

I'm so sorry you guys went through, and are continuing to suffer through this.

Certainly this will result in some serious zen-like patience in the kiddo, though. Or... a crippling fear of white. Dang.

Posted by: radishly at January 9, 2009 4:48 PM

That has to be the worst Vacation ever! Give him plenty of raisins for being so brave.

Posted by: Nancy at January 9, 2009 5:20 PM

What an awesome vacation!

I actually had to have a picc line in my arm for a couple of months, and they're not as unbearably terrible as they seem at first.

Showering was always an enormous to-do though. I suggest you pick up a few big rolls of saran wrap, and I tended to wrap an ace bandage around it so as not to creep people out in public. Although for a little boy, that might be a perk...

Posted by: carrie at January 9, 2009 5:23 PM

I'm so glad your boy is getting better. Make sure to give him such a big hug for being so brave. You are so fortunate to have such caring friends and family.

Posted by: Andrea at January 9, 2009 6:19 PM

Steve, I think you need a hug as well... /hug

Posted by: Prentice at January 9, 2009 6:25 PM

Glum? Hardly. Moving, maybe (at least to this parent). Glad you're all okay.

Posted by: JaredParker at January 9, 2009 6:38 PM

I'm glad Raisins pulled through it alright - like the awesome Son of Steve is bound to. Hugs all around!

Posted by: deletedsoul at January 9, 2009 7:33 PM

Oh my lord. Well, this certainly makes my tonsillectomy and subsequent 3 week recovery look like a day at the beach. Little Raisins wins, in perpetuity.

Best wishes for a speedy recovery, little fella. You, too, Steve.

Posted by: san antone rose at January 9, 2009 8:31 PM

Hey! Glad your son is doing better. What a story he's got to tell!

Posted by: Kate at January 9, 2009 9:24 PM

Papaya tastes like a dirty diaper smells and still I think it will be better the next time. Yeck!

Thanks for sharing your heart stomping story and glad the little guy is alright.

Posted by: Snowowl at January 9, 2009 9:42 PM

Steve, I'm so glad he's ok. Poor little bugger.
Give him hugs for me.

I think you should cut back on the raisins next year though.

Posted by: Kristen at January 9, 2009 9:47 PM

What a rollercoaster of emotions!! I would probably be suffering from PTSD about now. :) I am glad to hear Raisin is making his way back to being "normal" again.

Posted by: Chris at January 9, 2009 10:05 PM

Oh man. After the last update I figured something bad had happened but still hadn't expected it to be something like this. What a nightmare it must of been. I kinda felt bad for laughing at the story even tho' it was probably intentionally funny. I'm glad you can laugh at it now. Here's to a complete recovery! I'll be less impatient about updates for a while. Take care.

Posted by: Evil Jim at January 9, 2009 10:47 PM

Wow. What an event. Give him another hug and count yourselves lucky. Here's what Christmas was like for some friends of mine: http://prayforthelamberths.com

Yeah. I'm thankful things ended up better for you all. Hope Raisins feels better soon.

Posted by: Jeremy Ricketts at January 9, 2009 11:09 PM

That's some scary stuff. I'm glad Raisins is ok - my kids are 7/4/1 - right around yours so I'm there with you. My 4 year old just had stitches - I was at the ER by with all 3 of them, no wife, pinning her down etc etc... so I can only imagine this magnified.... plus not knowing wtf was going on.... you travelled to the right place. NYC and Nassau County have some of the best doctors in the country.... And incidentally me and my two sisters were all born at Winthrop :-)

Posted by: Jim at January 9, 2009 11:51 PM

I hope he has a quick and complete recovery. BTW, it is amazing how funny you made such a horrible experience look :)

Posted by: ramki at January 10, 2009 1:05 AM

First, Dan rocks. Keep rockin', Dan. Do not let up on the rockin' front.

Second, as a father, I firmly believe my family will be struck by meteors if I'm not around to swat them away. I have not yet had the full ER experience as you did, but I know it's coming. You're an awesome dad, and you seem to have some pretty awesome kids.

I've found toys and sweet things help fix most injuries. Have you considered 20ccs of Star Wars, combined with a large dose of Oreos?

Posted by: Edward at January 10, 2009 1:36 AM

I'm gonna go down the middle and say papaya tastes like vomit rubbed into an aromatic armpit. And it passes right through my system - after a helping of papaya (which I do NOT know why I keep eating), no matter the quantity, the stuff out the other end will manage to smell like it. This, as you can imagine, makes the original task of eating it even more difficult for me to do in the future.

I, however, will concede with the rest of the posters and agree that I am exhilarated that Raisins is on the path to recovery. What a roller-coaster ride!

Posted by: Suzie at January 10, 2009 1:57 AM

"You're fine. Put your shoes on."

Strange. That's what my mother said to me when I fell and broke my foot at 13.

Having said that, and as hard as I'm sure it is, be grateful for long-dwelling PICC lines, and antibiotics, and being able to be in familiar surroundings while the treatment completes. Hugs to you for going through this ordeal.

Posted by: Silverstar98121 at January 10, 2009 3:39 AM

Glad to hears all is well again,

Steve you have a real talent for making a truly distressing situation funny. I hope your family appreciates it as much as we all do .

Get well soon Raisins.....

Posted by: Katrina at January 10, 2009 4:58 AM

Poor little guy! Just recently got out of hospital myself and know what its like having spent time there when I was younger too. Glad hes out of hospital, recovery really does go much faster when you're in your own house.

Lots of positive thoughts!

Posted by: Alistair at January 10, 2009 5:34 AM

Yipes! Good to hear he's going to be okay. :)

Posted by: Frida at January 10, 2009 6:36 AM

Oh my! I really feel for you on this- my six week old daughter got admitted to the hospital the weekend before I was supposed to go back to work from my maternity leave! They drew all sorts of things from her, too- including her friggin' spinal fluid!! At which point I may have been a Cathy character, also.
It's terrifying to be the parent of a sick kid! Sorry you had to go through that, and I hope he's ok and starts crackin jokes about it soon.

Posted by: Kris at January 10, 2009 6:59 AM

I'm glad he's doing well after that ordeal. Your story brought back a lot of memories from when my son was born last year and spent a month in the hospital getting 2 heart surgeries. We had a similar experience with our anesthesiologist; I think it's part of the job description that a children's anesthesiologist must be awesome. We've also found that when the surgeon tells your an hour, he means for his part, the anesthesiologist is going to spend 30 minutes first doing his job, and another 30 minutes after finishing up. For our son's second surgery, we went to the cafeteria for breakfast after they took him away, and we ran into his surgeon there also getting breakfast; I guess it's good to know that the guy about to cut open your kid is well fed and happy. (-=

Good luck with your IVs, and I wish him a speedy recovery. Pic lines are awesome, all things considered, and they come out super easy and quick.

Posted by: Nick at January 10, 2009 7:28 AM

Hey, I just saw your favorite band Cloud Cult has their song playing during an Esurance commercial. Big moves! All thanks to the Sneeze, no doubt.

Song is called Lucky Day or something to that effect.

Posted by: Quinton at January 10, 2009 7:40 AM

"You're fine. Put your shoes on."
I got that line when I put a nail clean through my foot, my response was to promptly tell her I have my shoes on, as well as a nail, and one of them is quickly filling with blood. Ahhhh children. Prescious memories!

Posted by: Enna at January 10, 2009 7:53 AM

Ohhh yeah! Selfish, selfish Raisins!
Anyway, hope he gets better soon.You know, just so he can 'be normal' and everything..:)

Posted by: BWC at January 10, 2009 9:00 AM

Aw, so glad he's doing better. I had a boyfriend once with a bone infection, but the clinic got him all cleared up *ba da bomp!*.

Posted by: JenDiggity at January 10, 2009 9:03 AM

Steve....man..... I have a boy a little older than Raisins with the same allergies, and I remember the feelings you described (ours involved pneumonia, not bone infection, but I did get the bonus of a ride in the ambulance as he was rushed to Pediatrics ICU). Makes the blood run cold (and water fly out of your head)

Hint: Get a better travel agent, that holiday kinda sucked.

Posted by: Lisa at January 10, 2009 9:08 AM

I can only imagine the roller coaster of emotions that must have taken place (and I'm sure continuing to some extent).

I'm glad to read that things have worked out and I hope your son feels better as soon as possible.

Posted by: John Midgley at January 10, 2009 9:16 AM

I'm so glad all worked out. I know he has to do the IV thing for a while, but be glad he doesn't have an older sibling who makes up games, like "let's see how far up your thigh high cast we can stick pennys and then retrieve them." Turns out thats not good. -The older sister

Posted by: Donita at January 10, 2009 10:21 AM

Poor little Raisins!
I hope he gets better soon <3

Posted by: Ally at January 10, 2009 10:33 AM

Happy Times: I just went to my gmail and [somewhat wishfully] searched for The Sneeze in the little add-stuff/gadgets-link-search-box-thing, and lo and behold IT WAS ACTUALLY THERE. Happy, happy times.

Posted by: Ally [again] at January 10, 2009 10:40 AM

that sweet sweet boy...the drama of it all.

i'm so glad y'all are back home and safe...and on the road to recovery.

hugs and love to everyone.

Posted by: Melissa at January 10, 2009 11:20 AM

That brought back a LOT of memories of my stays in hospital as a child so I really feel for all of you and I am glad he's on the mend now.

The ironic thing about bad things happening is that you get to find out just how truly wonderful humans *can* be.

Give Raisins big hugs from England :)

Posted by: Gaina at January 10, 2009 12:22 PM

Steve,

From one pee shy bitch to another (and thanks for the urinal math tip - a genuinely valuable life skill), I'm so glad Raisins is OK.

Peace to your family.

Posted by: Kevin at January 10, 2009 1:34 PM

Glad everything is OK. :)

Posted by: Kelly at January 10, 2009 1:53 PM

Give Raisins a hug from me - I remember the Raisins sketch '06 the first time round! Many a time has he delighted friends of mine, and the Dragon Collective all send fond wishes to the little guy and his cool new scars. Maybe we of the scarred feet could join a club? I gotta great one along the top of my foot when I needed it fixed. Keep a smile buddy! And that's you too Steve.

Posted by: DragonKeeper at January 10, 2009 2:47 PM

Oh my god, the poor little guy! Hospitals are scary places (they still give me nightmares and I'm an adult, go figure). Glad everything turned out okay in the end, though.

*Free Hug For Raisins*

Posted by: Tricia at January 10, 2009 4:09 PM

Meh, you brought this on yourself by spawning offspring. :)

Good to hear he's going to be OK though.

Someone needs to teach you about how the apostrophe works though, Steve. "Neither the doctor's, nor my son seemed to understand that this was supposed to be my vacation. "

Neither the doctor is what? Or, what does the doctor possess/own? ;)

Posted by: Braden at January 10, 2009 4:48 PM

Steve, so sorry you all had to go through all this but so happy that everything is going to be okay. It's the brutal part of parenting that few ever tell you about. My sincerest wishes to Raisin for a quick recovery. Don't underestimate a child's power to recover. Here's to easier days.

Posted by: Amber Storr at January 10, 2009 6:24 PM

Damn family, letting you know how much you love them and how scary things can be. I am so glad everything worked out you all.

Posted by: ben at January 10, 2009 9:36 PM

Poor Raisins... and poor Steve!

I saw one other comment about it as I was coming down through, but I have to add my 2 pennies (hold on to them- it's some hard economic times 'round these parts!) and say I get a little giddy and think of you and your terrific promotion of Cloud Cult every time I see the Esurance commercial. It's even a fair representation of them in cartoon form! What if someone at Esurance read your blog and started listening to them and turned the whole company on to Cloud Cult and it was all because some executive there was surfing your blog instead of doing WINUS reports???

Posted by: Maryann at January 11, 2009 12:21 AM

I am glad to see that Raisins is doing much better. I was wondering what had delayed you from posting your annual Christmas story. Well, now we know!

Next time Raisins gets an ache or pain, just pour some Tussin on it. :-)

Posted by: Ragin' Cajun Jason at January 11, 2009 12:32 AM

i'm glad he's doing ok now, as a parent i understand the whole worst case scenario thinking. i never knew having kids would change me so profoundly.

Posted by: leah at January 11, 2009 12:37 AM

Glad to hear your son is ok again.

Posted by: Edge at January 11, 2009 3:38 AM

Sure am glad little Raisins is ok (more or less) now. I can only imagine how bad it was for you guys.

Posted by: Ade at January 11, 2009 6:39 AM

Hi. I'm relatively new to this site. I remember reading the "Don't Eat This" articles a while back (pork rinds really aren't that bad if you try the ones in Chinatown -- at least i think they were pork rinds) and in the last few days have read every single one in the archive. I have never undergone any serious operations other than an abortion... Because I didn't know I was pregnant the first few months and since I ate maybe 9 meals a week, actually going through with the whole pregnancy probably wasn't the best idea. And can you imagine the cost of the birth? The ambulance, the ER... and considering how I don't exactly have insurance.

Anyway I wish the best for you and your family. I havent had kids yet but I would be scared to death if anything should happen to them.

Posted by: MHZ at January 11, 2009 6:41 AM

Oh good God! I'm so glad there was a happy ending to this story because I don't have any nails left after that.

This is one of those times when you turn to your partner and say, "Tell me again why we decided having kids would be a good idea."

It's terrible to have a part of your heart walking about outside of your body getting sick and shit.

God bless you all!

Maybe next year you'll get that vacation you wanted. [Yeah, RIGHT.]
.

Posted by: Brat at January 11, 2009 7:37 AM

This is just yet more proof that all people named Dan are inherently good and noble.

Except for Dan Stalin, brother of the famous dictator. That guy was just an asshole.

Glad the kid is doing better, even if it means you guys may be ready to kill yourselves with antibiotic overdoses after a month or so.

And thanks for giving me a new thing to fear-- bone infections!?!?

Posted by: LiteralDan at January 11, 2009 8:04 AM

jings steve,
my heart goes out to you, your missus and little Raisins. as a mum of three, i know just how terrifying it can be when your baby gets ill. i'm glad he's on the mend.
hugs to you all.
xfudsterx

Posted by: fudster at January 11, 2009 8:37 AM

Next time you need to hold an IV up, just put it on top of his head until the flow slows down. It's a bit easier on the arms.

Posted by: redlegphi at January 11, 2009 9:01 AM

Maybe it got infected when he stamped his foot so hard at you giving him raisins? Not that I don't think it's the funniest idea ever. I hope he's on the mend and you're being a good dad by giving him lots of ice cream :)

Posted by: ladybecksta at January 11, 2009 2:33 PM

I bow down to your ability to both make me laugh and make me tear up in what is a horrifying experience for any parent. I'm so glad Raisins is on the road to recovery. I know I'm just some random stranger who has enjoyed your antics of eating a fungus that looks like a brain off the tree in front of your house but, seriously, I can feel your anxiety through my laptop and await the boy's reaction to a box of raisins for his Xmas present. I'm SO glad that your little one is feeling better. 'Tis a miracle of modern medicine.

Good thoughts to you!
Triica

Posted by: Tricia at January 11, 2009 2:40 PM

Oh! And Dan was/is the guy who played Ricky in Better Off Dead? Well, he has now endeared himself even more in my heart as BOD is one of my favorite movies evah! What a fabulous friend!

I want my two dollars,
Tricia

Posted by: Tricia at January 11, 2009 2:46 PM

Oh, the poor kid! And poor you guys! I am sure this experience will fuel Raisin's creative drive and we will be experiencing new and more awesome drawings, tales and jokes soon!
Feel better little guy!

Posted by: Sara at January 11, 2009 2:56 PM

Steve, glad to hear your little boy is on the mend. And I just want to echo the above comments about Dan. What a pal. Lots of love to Raisins from his internet fans.

Posted by: Andy at January 11, 2009 3:19 PM

When my own curtain climber was 5, she contracted RSV - a pretty horrific respiratory virus that normally isn't so bad for older kids. But, naturally, mine was the exception. She was one sick little puppy and it was hard to tell - she was so bloody stoic about it. "I'm fine, Mama" she kept saying.

The 7 days in a private hospital room with her on 6x daily, horrific positive airflow breathing treatments that she just screamed all the way thru had me regularly in tears and offering things to God that I don't even have. I just wanted her home and well. I wanted all of the drama BEHIND us.

I'm happy to say, five years later, she's well and happy and active. As yours will be soon. Kids are nothing if not resilient

It's not easy being a parent. It's so much worse when they're sick and there's nothing you can do but watch other people care for them. I'll say a special prayer for you and yours.

By the way, I had no gray hair until that week. Now it's outnumbered all the other colors on my head.

Posted by: Gwen at January 11, 2009 4:39 PM

I'm so glad to hear Raisins is on the mend! I can relate to the emotions you and Mrs. Steve went through--having to watch my son wheeled off into (minor, thankfully) surgery at one year old. There is no more helpless feeling imaginable. I let the cartoon Cathy tears fly, too.

Posted by: beer.snob.chick at January 11, 2009 6:02 PM

o_o that . sounds completely. nightmarish.

And I work in a hospital.

You guys are amazing, thank God he's ok.

Posted by: e at January 11, 2009 8:13 PM

So glad you had all the expert help and friends/family to help you all get through this wild adventure. Hope dear Raisins will be able to walk and be normal again soon... Well, as "normal" as anyone to spring from your loins could ever be.

Posted by: Atomic Bombshell at January 11, 2009 10:38 PM

We're SO glad Raisins is on the mend. Big huge hugs from the internets!

Posted by: Anna at January 11, 2009 10:57 PM

The poor little guy had a picc line inserted? I'm doing a bit of work in a hospital (it's for pharm school), and it's always a little scary to see something like that, until you realize that it's actually a lot better than other IV lines that could be inserted. Either way, I'm just glad the lil' dude's ok! It's amazing how brave kids can be sometimes. And I can't wait to hear Raisins 2008!

Posted by: Cindy at January 11, 2009 11:11 PM

Holy smokes what a nightmare! I'm so glad he's okay, and wish you luck with the IV in the coming weeks. I'm wondering who will enjoy it the least.

Posted by: steph at January 12, 2009 1:22 AM

Steve,
Long team reader. I have a 4 year old son and can only imagine the walls I would have been climbing if I had to go through what you and your wife did. I'm glad things turned out okay. Now your boy has time to watch all the power rangers he wants.

Posted by: John at January 12, 2009 5:30 AM

Long time lurker, just wanted to say how happy I am that everything seems to be turning out alright for the little guy.

You and yours will be in my prayers.

Posted by: Kris at January 12, 2009 8:20 AM

Steve, I don't know how you managed to make that post funny. What an utter nightmare. I am glad Raisins is on the mend.

Posted by: Jewel of Toronto at January 12, 2009 8:48 AM

Oh, Steve. I went throught the ole' osteomeyelitis myself a few years back. Ours was in the knee of an 18 month old who was just starting to walk. The only way that our story deviates from yours was that during the changing of the pic line bandage, the nurse actually cut the pic line and they had to send our version of Rasins (Rooster) to x-ray whereupon they strapped him down for 90 minutes to replace the line! Did I mention that I was 5 months pregnant at the time? Love the blog. Now I feel like I'm personally connected to you. Dirty cunt rag. (Never been able to use that phrase before - don't know if it's applicable now.)

Posted by: Chakka-Chelle at January 12, 2009 9:31 AM

I am ready for Raisins now!!! POST IT ALREADY!!!!

Oh, and, uh, glad everyone's ok.

Posted by: Paul at January 12, 2009 9:40 AM

I'm sorry to hear about your son.

His treatment with the pic-line and the 6 weeks of heavy antibiotics is what I had to go through when I was 12 for osteomylitis, an infection in the bone marrow.

Fortunately for my parents, after a couple of weeks, I was able to give myself the medicine...except for the dose at midnight, which I'm sure my father was always excited to do everyday. :)

I also wore a sock on my arm for the period of 6 weeks so people would stop staring at my IV-ed arm... although people then just stared at the sock...but for some reason it still made me feel better. Haha.

In any case, I'm glad your son is doing better, though. Or rather, on the road to recovery.

Posted by: Ashlee at January 12, 2009 11:38 AM

Poor Raisins, here's to a speedy recovery! What a brave little guy! *virtual hugs* He's going to have tales to tell once he's up and around again.

For Cody: I had abdominal surgery 2 years ago and all the staff were great! The anesthesiologist and I cracked jokes. It's the last thing I remember before going under.

Posted by: Lee at January 12, 2009 12:55 PM

Winthrop is awesome! I've spent many a night there with my daughter who has severe asthma. I kid with her that she misses the place- she was born there- and wants to go back so often!

Anyway- I hope your son is on the road to a quick recovery. Next time you're on Long Island, know that you have a fan you can count on if you need anything!

Posted by: Mamasoo at January 12, 2009 1:27 PM

to commenter "Knee"

Here's how ya type the "horns of rock" sign -

\m/>.<\m/

This one's for Raisins!

Posted by: qt314159265 at January 12, 2009 2:17 PM

My God Steve. I almost cried right here at my desk. I'm glad you and yours are ok. Maybe St. Patricks Day will be better. Ps. I saw an Esurance commercial and it had a Cloud Cult song featured....I thought of you and smiled.

Posted by: Rudy at January 12, 2009 2:30 PM

I have a friend who got an infection in her bone when she was a child - and she still has it - fifteen years later. The doctors can't get rid of it. It's pretty horrible stuff.

Posted by: teiso at January 12, 2009 3:14 PM

This story made me choke up (and also laugh, at intervals; well told!). I'm glad your son is okay now, and I'm sure the antibiotics will work well to completely eradicate this thing. I knew a little girl who had a similar ordeal several years ago and after a couple months, she was good as new. Hang in there.

Posted by: C at January 12, 2009 3:28 PM

I just hope he remembers this decades from now when he's picking your retirement home.

But in a attempt to be proactive in projecting the future, let's just call him an ingrate now.

Posted by: HDC at January 12, 2009 9:01 PM

Oh and teiso, yay, thanks for the positive love. Way to bring the room down.

Posted by: HDC at January 12, 2009 9:04 PM

Steve, I think we all know where you should go from here. Bide your time until Raisins is well enough and then, come February, bring him to your place of work and have him fake an illness so that you can swing a couple of weeks off to re-take your NY vacation. :p

But seriously, glad to hear the little guy is okay.

Posted by: Emma at January 13, 2009 3:07 AM

So glad he's on the mend! Thought you might appreciate this story though: my boss told me about the time his brother was hospitalized, aged about 8. It was England in the late 70s, my boss's brother was a very well-spoken little boy from a quite well-to-do family, he's lying in a hospital bed and the nurse asks him if there's anything he can't eat. He pauses for a moment then says, "Well, I don't much care for olives."
Fantastic!

Posted by: Stef at January 13, 2009 7:06 AM

Glad to hear the little guy is doing OK now!

The year can only get better from this point.

Posted by: zannebee at January 13, 2009 10:29 AM

Steve,

Keep the little guy healthy. Here's raising a glass to better health and fortune from this point on.

Posted by: Gdad at January 13, 2009 11:42 AM

I am glad that raisins is on the road to recovery and back at home.
Long time reader but first time commenter. Steve, just had to let you know that since I have been blessed to live in the country where high spped internet doesn't exsist I have found one thing positive about dial up internet...your page takes so long to load I realized that your background is one of those things like the MagicEye that goes all 3-D on ya. Just thought I would share my little finding !

Posted by: Christy at January 13, 2009 3:13 PM

Holy cow, I'm sorry to hear about all that, but I'm very glad he's doing better. Happy new year indeed.

Your pal,
Bobby "Fedex Logo Maker Knowing" Dragulescu

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Posted by: wow gold4 at January 14, 2009 8:01 AM

What is wrong with you! Papaya is the best fruit on the planet! Hope he gets well soon!

Posted by: Jamie at January 14, 2009 2:35 PM

Wow, nothing like a good drama to make everyone share their medical stories...

Santa is SO bringing this next year:
http://www.phoons.com/raisinbox.html

And on a side note...my kid is alergic to milk, corn and white potatoes....and some days I feel like there's nothing he can eat...what on earth does your kid eat? Lettuce and water? Sheesh...that sucks way worse than any bum foot. Glad he's better :)

Posted by: CountryGirly at January 14, 2009 2:40 PM

Good grief! What a fright. Glad he's on the mend.

Posted by: Katie at January 14, 2009 2:41 PM

Steve, please let Raisins know that I hope he is 100% soon. Also, please let him know I hear him scream "raisins?!?!" every time I get a text message, and I hear a loud bicycle horn from early Christmas morning every time someone calls. I thank him for those great moments, and that they have been made available by you to fill my life with joy.

Posted by: John at January 14, 2009 4:00 PM

If I was there in Sneezeland, I'd have a big hug and an "Oh, honey" for all four of you. I'm sure that was terrifying for all of you, including Cabbage. Don't ever forget my 90 year old Grami's advice:

"You just don't die as easily as you think you do."

Oh, and by the way...is Dan single? Hey, Dan, call me!

Posted by: Meg at January 14, 2009 4:41 PM

Long-time lurker here popping on to send good thoughts and vibes your way. As a parent, this is one of my biggest nightmares. As one who has had a PIC line, I am impressed by how well Raisins is doing... mine was put in when I was 22 and 11 years later I still cringe thinking about it. You are one brave family. Will keep you in my thoughts if you promise to please keep us updated. Aw, heck, I'll keep you in my thoughts anyway because that's the kind of person I am. Really. (Hugs)

Posted by: Ella'sMom at January 14, 2009 7:55 PM

Oh my god!! Unfortunately, you have an uncanny ability of making me feel you and your wive's pain through this whole thing. The tears that shoot straight out of your head? Done that.
My two are still alive and well too, but it's moments like that when you are reminded how fragile life is, and how wonderful friends and family are. So glad you are all okay in the end.
I wonder if your son knows everyone thinks his name is "raisins"?
And the older one really missed out on a quality holiday too. If he writes an angst filled song about that I think you better get him a contract. His last effort was pure genious.
Love to you and yours and thanks again for some great laughs over the last few years.
Peace y'all!!
Chick

Posted by: Debbie Chick at January 14, 2009 9:58 PM

holy crap, does everyone need to say "on the mend"? It's like how everyone says "over the moon" when they talk about having a baby! what happened to get well soon? or take care? or stay sweet and have a cool summer?

anyway raisins, i hope you are healed miraculously by some kick ass angles in fiery loin cloths and you never need a pic line again, ok?

Take note people, that’s how you well wish.

Posted by: bots at January 15, 2009 1:05 PM

Holy Toledo! Glad Raisins is doing better (and can use better grammar in the face of danger than most of us can on a normal day). Big Hug to all the Sneezies

Posted by: HennerBoBenner at January 15, 2009 3:03 PM

Poor kiddo! Poor parents!
I had the same sort of infection in my spine bones 13 years ago...Surgery and a few months of antibiotics and pic lines (oh what fun those are, but better than getting stuck all the time)...Glad they caught it before it got worse (I'm still pretty freaking annoyed that someone ripped 14 page-a-day pages off my farside calender. I still don't buy the whole "you were in a coma" bs story. What are they trying to pull on me?!?!? HA!

Wish kiddos didn't have to go through this...

Hugs from me, guy, and kid.

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Posted by: world of warcraft gold3 at January 16, 2009 6:05 AM

(By the way, family wants to know if we can send him get well raisins. If we got everyone to send raisins (raisins across america?) maybe there could be a guinness book entry? hmmmm)

Posted by: Bek at January 16, 2009 6:10 AM

So glad little Raisin is better. And I agree with whoever said that Dan is a keeper. How awesome is he?

Posted by: Lydia at January 16, 2009 9:16 AM

For god's sakes,could you pleeeeeeeeeeaaaase post the damn tune!?!?!?!?So many nice wishes and comments,and for sure,i want raisin to get better and hope that everything in sneezeland will get better,but I came here EVERYDAY(sometimes twice)since I read "UP NEXT: RAISINS 2008"and you are just not posting the damn thing!
Or just tell us,WHEN you are going to post this,I'm feeling like a raisins-junkie....

Posted by: Impatient One at January 16, 2009 9:47 AM

(sorry for the swearing)

Posted by: Impatient One at January 16, 2009 9:49 AM

Wow. That's crazy! I'm going to have to have a word with bacteria about their vacation-ruining proclivities.

Posted by: Caustic Cupcake at January 16, 2009 4:18 PM

Damn! As the proud papa of a five year old girl who almost 10 months ago went through a similar sudden visit to the ER that turned into a Type I Diabetes diagnosis, I can only say I know exactly what you and the fam went through. And no matter how much you want to trade every second of their ordeal for a week of getting your own nutsack stepped on with old-timey golf shoes, Ye Gods just won't listen to THAT prayer. Oh, but ask for an Arizona Cardinals playoff win and all of a sudden they're all cooperative and shit. Fuck Ye Gods, If y'ask me!

Give my best to Raisins. And be sure to embed in him the memory that he ruined vacation for everybody. That'll build some character on the lil' guy!

Posted by: Antonio at January 16, 2009 8:24 PM

Who said holiday trips with the family aren't fun anymore.

No really, I'm glad he's better. there's nothing scarier than having a really sick kid.

Posted by: Itsiff at January 17, 2009 6:05 PM

After having an eerily similar incident while traveling with my kids a couple of years ago, I am realllllly sympathetic. (Please note correct use of adverbs.) All four of us got rotavirus for Christmas (thanks, Santa) and little one ended up in the hospital with a really bad case. You know, Rotavirus is especially insulting because things happen even in your sleep (omg!!) or, for example, while you're trying to check your sick child into the ER. We all eventually got better, but haven't been anywhere since. Am traumatized.

Glad to hear Raisins is on the way to well, and here's hoping you (and I) never ever have anything even remotely similar happen again.

Wow, gold!!!!

Posted by: wildeflowers at January 17, 2009 7:24 PM

Glad to hear the little booger's ok.

Posted by: artie at January 19, 2009 6:57 AM

RAISINS!!!!
the musical!!!!!!!
please give this to me.

Posted by: ummm at January 19, 2009 9:55 AM

*Impatient One is happy to see that she isn't the only one who can't wait any longer*

Posted by: Impatient One at January 19, 2009 11:15 AM

That sucks. You handled it with wisdom and maturity. Kudos, good Daddy.

Posted by: BillCat BlackWolf at January 19, 2009 3:58 PM

I hope Raisins is hanging in there. You are great parents.

Posted by: cuteheart at January 19, 2009 7:50 PM

I certainly am glad your son is okay. His antics you post sure give me a laugh. You should post more about him.

Posted by: Mel at January 20, 2009 12:03 PM

man, steve, i'm glad the little guy is ok. i have a 5 year old daughter, and i would have freaked the fuck out if that happened to her. ESPECIALLY on MY VACATION!!! :) glad it all turned out ok. phew!!!

Posted by: becky at January 20, 2009 2:00 PM

Man, I have been checking this site sometimes twice a day waiting for Raisins, episode III!

Posted by: joeeee at January 20, 2009 6:45 PM

Where is the "Whew"-post?Did Steve remove it?Did he come here to remove the "Whew"-post?Did he come here and did not post "Raisins2008"?Did he?Did he?Did HEEEEEE?(imagine me crazy,insanly laughing,wearing a straightjacket,with huge violet rings under my eyes,unwashed hair,on a dirty floor(dirty floor=since I'm patiently waiting for the post,starring non-stop at my monitor,I don't have the time to clean up))

Posted by: Crazy One(formerly "Impatient One") at January 20, 2009 6:51 PM

Wow, what an amazing story. I'm really sorry for that bad moment in your life and I hope that your kid is okay.

But you wrote that story in a genius way, mixing the rough, sad, truth with so much sarcasm...

You made me want to cry and laugh at the same time. I wish on a star that nothing similar ever happens to you again but keep the stories coming !!!

Posted by: Fel-X at January 21, 2009 5:28 PM

So glad your son is okay. Please keep me updated on his progress. I'm glad Long Island was good to you during your stay. Next time your down here feel free to look up a complete stranger like me. I'm from Merrick Long Island and know how stressful our E.R's our. I hope your son is better. I enjoyed your passage which was an emotional rollercoaster. Best wishes for your family. You'll be in my thoughts.
Thanks for the awesome blog.

Posted by: Jen Snorteland at January 21, 2009 9:59 PM

Sounds like your whole family went through hell. I'm glad your son came out ok in the end.

Posted by: Sash83 at January 22, 2009 12:34 AM

Glad to hear raisins has recovered from his scary hospital adventure...my oldest daught(now 5 years old) got the flu when she was about 6 weeks and there is nothing more fun than having to hold down your 6 week infant while they poke her over and over and over and over again becuase her veins are too tiny to draw blood with even the smallest of needle...and I am of the scarred feet club too having had arches reconstruted when I was 12...my prayers are with you guys..

Posted by: Desirae at January 22, 2009 7:41 AM

It's been too long! I'm worried that Raisins isn't ok!!!! :(

Posted by: Kylee at January 22, 2009 6:15 PM

I think Papaya tastes like dirty feet. Not that I've ever tasted dirty feet but I've had the displeasure of smelling them and if they taste anything like what they smell then dirty feet taste like papayas.

And I know what raisin went through. I almost died of blood poisoning when I was 5. It was rough and very confusing. Buy him lots of ice cream. That was my best part of the ordeal.

Posted by: B-Naz at January 23, 2009 11:54 AM

Sorry you didn't have the happy holiday you were expecting. What a stressful story! Isn't it great that you find you can cry tears of joy and relief just as well the other kind?

Very glad to hear he's going to be okay, and that Dan is such an awesome friend!

Posted by: Pam at January 23, 2009 3:32 PM

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Posted by: zgogasl at January 24, 2009 10:02 PM

Yay!This is comment number 200 =(...thought that today would be the day...hope everything is as okay as possible in sneezeland!

Posted by: Me at January 25, 2009 3:21 PM

O and BTW I have been going thru the archives and laughed so hard the other day my boss had to shut his office door and now looks at me like I'm a bit insane...

Posted by: Desirae at January 26, 2009 9:35 AM

So i see people mentioned cloud cult on the esurance commercial, BUT NO ONE MENTIONED THE ERIC JOINER ROBOT THE CARTOONS WERE PAINTING!!!!!! pish. you guys are lames.

Anyway, i hope your lack of posting is due to all the fun you and your boys are having now that raisins is healty and shizz. Post when you are good and ready, i'm sure this ordeal has done some reprioritizing for you.

Posted by: megs at January 26, 2009 3:37 PM

Worried about your fam and Raisins. Please update us and let us know what's up. Obviously, of course, when you have a moment. Hugs from the internet.

Posted by: WTB at January 26, 2009 5:24 PM

That must have been the most difficult thing in your life to date. My heart goes out to all of you.

Posted by: scarica at January 26, 2009 9:35 PM

Jesus Christ kids are a pain in the ass.

Glad the little guy is ok... as a mother to a 3 year old son, I could visualize your scenario with exceptional excruciating detail. Thanks for making me suicidal for 5 minutes.

;)

Posted by: Kathy at January 27, 2009 11:45 AM

Hope everything is okay with you and your family in Sneezeland!

Posted by: kristyn at January 28, 2009 5:53 PM

Steve: I don't know how you and your wife held it together. What a brave boy! I'm very glad that South Shore Nassau County was good to you. I still return to Oceanside, Long Beach and East Rockaway from time to time. Hope your next visit is pain- and problem-free. Hugs to Raisins! -Lisa R. in PA

Posted by: Lisa R. at January 29, 2009 11:46 AM

As a general rule, I'm jealous of those people who take holiday vacations. We used to when I was growing up (Michigan to Florida), but less as I got older until they stopped altogether (and my grandparents died).

But after reading your post, I'm actually kind of glad we stayed home this year and trashed our own house for the holidays instead of someone else's.

Good luck with Valentine's Day.

Posted by: David at January 30, 2009 5:06 AM

Your absence makes me wonder and hope everythings okay and that you're jusy busy having a real, tangible, non-internet life, but i'm DYING for the christmas raisin story!

Posted by: Claire at February 1, 2009 5:56 AM

STEVE... just discovered your site this week and i LOVE IT... BEST SITE ON THE WEB... it's taken me all week but i've read every post and gone to every link you recommended... very happy to hear raisins is okay.... wow... SDEI is the best, but hard to top things like O Holy Crap, The Shitoon, the absolutely brilliant Love/Methane forum (is there a scatological theme brewing here?) and strangely enough i saw that cloud cult / esurance commercial for the first time the day before i found your site and i was instantly converted..... YOU ROCK DUDE!!

Keep 'em coming...
and thanks......

Posted by: scoogieb at February 1, 2009 10:46 PM

I've been telling myself that this is going to be a great week, but then when I went to check on The Sneeze this morning I thought, "Oh man, but it's going to be difficult to begin the Great Week if there hasn't been an update on Raisins!" And lo and behold: RAISINS 2008!! It's not a specific update on his ankle, but I'll take un-ex-psyched raisin wisecracks several weeks after Christmas as a good sign. GO RAISINS! Trust me, it's going to be a Great Week. I'm pretty ex-psyched about it.

Posted by: maija at February 2, 2009 6:46 AM

Love the Raisins Tradition lol, nice slogan.. are you going to submit that to them? haha. I gave you an award.. its girly but well I am a girl and your blog is fabulous!
http://crystalsaidwhat.blogspot.com/2009/02/oh-i-got-award-i-feel-so-special.html

Posted by: Crystal at February 2, 2009 9:37 AM