I received a text from my wife that said, "Someone took the tree brains. He's cutting them off as we speak!"

My only logical response was, "Take pix!!!!"

She wrote back: "I had already taken pics BEFORE I texted you, silly. Check your email."

Seriously, is anyone really in the mood for her sass at a time like this?

Here are the pix she took.

Look at him! Brazenly walking around in his relaxed jeans, holding my brains right out there in plain sight!!

This is precisely why we can't have nice things.

I was obviously tempted to send my wife out there to stop him, but I was afraid something might happen to her. (And then I'd be way more responsible for the kids.)

More news as it develops.

If you don't know what the Tree Brain is, you're coming so late to this I'm not even sure where to begin. (Try here.)