I don't really care that much about semicolons, but I'm curious to see if the comments still work.

I'm with you there Steve. Good to see you back finally :)

Personally I might have my nose be a kumquat. They're kind of adorable.

Semicolons actually are just regular colons that left themselves go a bit, in the bottom section. I think the zing out of its relationship with hyphen has seen semicolons demise over time.

It's terrible when grammar slips.

Semicolons are the type to get arrested on a friday night for indecent exposure... cover that thing up, friend.

Semicolons are for when using a regular colon is just too much.

I'm honestly not sure how to use a semicolon. I wonder if it was taught in school? Hmm
A fruit-nose? I'd go with an orange slice. I don't know why, but that's my choice.

Steve, the comments don't work. They're broken.

Hmm, what kind of fruit is the easiest to pick?

Semicolons were invented in the 1870s as a way to subtlely denote flirtation by invoking a winking set of eyes. Today's emoticons have sloppily done away with any attempt at discretion.

Because Kelly is more than likely attracted to The Sneeze in sexual manner (because c'mon; who isn't?), her usage of the semicolon is to be commended as correct in the traditional manner.

Semicolons are weak periods; generally you should use one only where you could use a period, that is, at the end of an independent clause.
Additionally, they may be used if you have a string of complicated parallel elements with commas within them. In such a case, you may use a semicolon to replace the terminal comma in each phrase in order to show what elements go together.

I'm going with; TOMATO!

My nose is totally a persimmon. I hate Persimmons. Not really, but they are kinda lame.
Much like semicolons. Just not that interesting.
I've had a good day so far, thanks for asking.

Kelly's use of the semicolon was indeed incorrect. She should have used either a comma or colon instead.

I highly recommend the grammarphobia blog, which can answer any questions you may have about grammar, punctuation, etymology, colloquialisms, idioms, and more: http://www.grammarphobia.com

Here is how the grammarphobia folk describe the proper usage of the semicolon:

(1) Use a semicolon to separate clauses when there’s no connecting 'and' or 'but' between them and each could be a sentence in itself. Example: Andy’s toupee flew off his head; it sailed into the distance.

(2) Use semicolons to separate items in a series when there’s already a comma in one or more of the items. Example: Fred’s favorite things were his robe, a yellow chenille number from Barneys; his slippers; his overstuffed chair, which had once been his father’s; murder mysteries, especially those by Sue Grafton; and single-malt Scotch.

As for whether this non-standard usage will become accepted or not, only time will tell. Just because the common folk make a mistake often doesn't necessarily mean an evolution is occurring. Unless legitimate print sources, authors, and editors are doing it, it probably wont become an accepted usage.

If it does become an accepted usage in Great Britain, it is perfectly reasonable to think that it might remain a non-standard or incorrect usage in the US. There are many examples of such regional differences in the English language. The grammarphobians can help explain these as well.

Also, check out the book "Eats, Shoots, and Leaves" for more about accepted punctuation practices, and how they differ on either side of the Atlantic.

Semi-colons are one of the most misused pieces of grammatical punctuation out there... Generally, if I am indeed correct, the two portions on each side of the semi-colon must be a complete statement in and of themselves, not relying on the other side to make a sentence. What you can do with semi-colons is link like ideas, or parent-child statements (so-to-speak), with inserted words such as "but," "since," "therefore," etc. One should have such a word to introduce the second half of a semi-colon sentence.
They are so rarely used in this way, however, that people often either DON'T use them, or OVER use them. I don't think that use was correct because the first half was a prepositional phrase which is not its own statement, but it's an intriguing usage and, hey, they actually used the dang thing.

Also, on an unrelated-but-related note, I have never thought of my nose being a fruit; however I think mine would be a pear.

My day is going pretty well! I've finished a lot of homework that's due this week so I'm feeling kind of BA. And I'm meeting a friend later to hang out so hurrah!

I think if my nose were a fruit it would be a tangerine because it has a little bump on it and so do tangerines. Also my nose is cute and so are tangerines!

Semicolons make me feel fancy too.

My high school English teacher had a rant about our complete inability to use semi-colons right. He did not, however, teach us how to use them.
And the rest of the year went much the same way.

semicolons are delish.

Avocado.
And I only use a semicolon to make suggestive faces.
Or maybe someone who got punched out >;(

Kurt Vonnegut was not a fan of the semicolon.

http://www.quotationspage.com/quote/39857.html

Quoting from the ICS Professional Proofreader course section on semicolons (British version): "The semi-colon is used when a comma doesn't give a long enough pause, but the two parts of the sentence are too closely linked to be separated by a full stop. However, the parts of a sentence that are linked by a semi-colon must be able to stand alone as sentences. If you could put in a full stop, then it's fine to use a semi-colon."

The clause, "On the one nautical themed cake" would be unable to stand alone as a sentence, so a semi-colon is incorrect. A colon or a comma both would have been okay.

The obvious choice is to have a semicolon nose.

Fun fact of the day:

There are 3 correct forms of the plural of octopus. Octopi, Octopods, and Octopuses.

If my nose had to be a fruit, I would want it to be a durian so it would still smell.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Durian

my nose would be a cherub tomato.

I cut my finger on the foil of my gum wrapper. Why Steve, why? Who would make gum wrapper foil so dangerous?

My day sucks...isn't there an unwritten rule that if you take a poop and plug the toilet, you can't leave the the house until you have resolved the problem. My boyfriend will be PAINfully aware of this rule later this evening.

I think I would have to make my nose a cape gooseberry because it sounds unique.

Grammar rules are just rules made up by human beings over time. Therefore, as long as people understand your meaning, and you are a human being, your rule should be just as valid as the rules made up by anyone else. The important thing is that, when writing, one can make oneself clear and understood by others. Grammar snobs are just pretentious and self-important.

I am a high school English teacher, and I thought about making a comment on the last post about the misuse of the semicolon. I decided not to comment, however, because I thought no one else would be lame enough to care about semicolons.

I was wrong. There ARE other people lame enough to care!

I would still rather talk about my nose as a fruit though. This picture takes it to a whole new level: http://www.coolopticalillusions.com/eye-tricks/watermelon-face-illusion.htm.

My link didn't work: http://www.coolopticalillusions.com/eye-tricks/watermelon-face-illusion.htm

Dear Steve,

There is but one perfect answer to your nose-fruit question...
My nose would be a Schnozberry.
Sincerely, Nikkole

I am just about over goatse, thanks for asking.

I would make my nose a pineapple because it would be a deadly weapon.

Semicolons are for making winky faces. Like such:

You're hot Steve. ;)

I can't believe someone stole your tree brains. I'm outraged!

Nikkole: love the schnozberry.
Tracie: I'm sorry.
Shanna: Thank you.

Sadly, my nose would have to be a pumpkin. Likely the kind of pumpkin that would have to be carried around a palate by a forklift to be weighted in competition.

I haven't had breakfast yet, but if you just got up and your first meal of the day is at 1:30, what is it?

I'm surprised at the debate surrounding semicolons. I didn't know that so many people would even catch that mistake, let alone comment on it, but there you go.

My day was pretty meh. Nothing really happened.

I had a fruit smoothie and pancakes for breakfast, that was very good.

I suppose that my nose would have to be a grape. Wine is obviously made from grapes and wines tend to be judged by their "nose." Hence my decision.

Today I went to Target. Look out world, I have pj pants with matching underwear!

My nose would be a kiwi. Fuzzy and cute.

I believe the semicolon is just a colon with a miniature tree brain growing on its underside.

Ever since grade six grammar with Ms. Livingston I have been very confused about the use of the semi colon. This has been enlightening.
I like to use the semi colon liberally; haphazardly even. I also like to begin sentences with "and". This makes my sister; who is a linguist; crazy. occasionally i will forgo the use of capitals as well. what ya gonna do 'bout it? Linguistic rebellion is oh, so, sweet. Come with me to the dark side!
Its (yes, I know, just go with it) 5pm and my first meal consisted of something that left a powdery orange goo on my fingers. I am now spreading it on my sisters keyboard. Because, that my friends, is love.
As for my nose, it would be a quince. Why? Because the quince, like the semicolon is largely ignored. And quince is a pretty word. And no one else picked it.

FANCY! I like that. Also for the nose-fruit for me I think strawberry. Don't know why. Hurrah!

For dinner (too late to talk about breakfast) I had homemade pineapple/jalapeno pizza. My nose would be a fig. I don't care about semicolons. I'm so glad that you are posting again, Steve. Thank you!

if my nose had to be a fruit, i would choose a starfruit-- i think it would make quite the conversation starter

I love semicolons and if my nose was a fruit it would most definitely be a cherry it upsets my stomach

I can't believe that no one chose banana in the whole fruit-nose debate.
I do like the idea of being declared fancy for correct semi-colon usage.
My day was okay. A little boring, but I did deep clean the bathroom. So that's good.

A semi-colon is like what my grandma has right? I mean she got it taken out... As for what fruit my nose would be, I'd have to say a banana. I mean what kind of self-respecting person wouldn't laugh at banana-nose man?

My nose would be a raspberry because I love raspberries. Did you ever find out who stole the tree brains or why?

I also would pick banana as my fruit nose, that way i would be a 69-ing machine

To be honest, I twitched a little when I first saw the use of the semicolon. I teach college grammar/composition; the urge for proper punctuation is something I cannot ignore.

My nose would be a strawberry.

I really wish I had the ability to text Adam from Mythbusters every time I dropped something on the floor. Today it was my lip ring... and I dropped it on the floor at WalMart..... I'm good.. right?

There seems to be a LOT of confusion on how semicolons are supposed to be used. Allow me to clarify.

The semicolon can best be described as a separator between two complete and distinct, but directly related, sentences. Whereas a period separates sentences entirely, a semicolon does it more softly, more briefly. Typically, one sentence will be consequential to the other, as if to complete a thought the other proposed.

For example, one might write, "Semicolons are often misunderstood; they're seldom used." Notice, you can almost feel the word "because" or the word "so" where the semicolon is. The meaning is clear. Written like that, the fact that semicolons are seldom used is undeniably either the cause or the result of the fact that they're misunderstood. The two sentences are absolutely related.

The same two sentences, if separated by a period, would have a very different feel: "Semicolons are often misunderstood. They're seldom used." Notice, the "so" or "because" no longer seems like it should be there. The implication now is that semicolons are seldom used AND semicolons are often misunderstood. One thought doesn't necessarily relate directly to the other.

In short, periods separate sentences, while semicolons bring them together a bit.

All that said, my nose would be a grape. It wouldn't be a big honkin' red grape, mind you; those are for clowns. My nose would be a green grape. Yes, a nice seedless green grape, definitely.

My nose would totally be a pineapple. If the Tree Brain were a fruit, my nose would be the Tree Brain. Unfortunately, it's a fungus, damn it!

India: You eat that shit right now.

At 25 is it recommended to get a semicolonoscopy?
Enjoy the pun you bastards.

On another note, my nose would be an avocado as I am currently slightly drunk and without guacamole. Damn you New England. Damn you.

My wife and I are thinking about baby names...Sammy Cologne. yeah, YEAH-UH!!!

Listen, I'm an adult now. That means pancakes for breakfast. Regardless of it all.

My nose would be a durian. How cool would it be able to have really smell spikes on your face?

Well...if I could have a fruit for a nose I would have a blueberry. I know it may look weird but hey...I do love blueberrys

*poo*

Kudos to Adam for probably the best semicolon usage explanation I've seen in all my (3) years of tutoring writing and grammar at my local community college.

Serena, grammar rules do not necessarily exist for being "pretentious and self-important" but rather for practicality's sake. I agree that what is most important is that the meaning of your message is properly conveyed; however, the point of having rules is so that we can all agree on a format for doing so. This is particularly important in academia where, despite the existence of rules, a student is often given conflicting instructions by two different instructors. For example, Instructor A tells a student it's okay to start a sentence with a coordinating conjunction, and then Instructor B takes points away from the same student for doing so. While rules like this might seem a but superfluous, I've seen students bring in papers that looked like five-page-long text messages and were practically unintelligible, so there has to be some common point of reference.

Anyway, now that I'm done with all the boring grammar crap: kiwano melon.

It should be a colon.

I think we should use semicolons more often; I mean, they're fancy and awesome.

My mind ran through several options for fruitnose: strawberry, for general shape; banana, for comedic effect; raisin, cause I usually think about raisins here; and watermelon, for inherent projectile properties.

My nose is a tomato, both for the clown effect and the mystery. Is my nose a vegetable? Is it a fruit? I'll never tell! Mwahahaha!

Semi colons are awfully fancy...I give props to whomever uses them correctly. (did I use whomever correctly?)...As for my nose..It would be a Kumquat. Just cause it's a funny sounding fruit.

Nikkole: Schnozberry?? Whoever heard of a Schnozberry?

What the hell?

I can't believe I'm being called out on the internet for one silly semicolon. I always thought that the semicolon was the "catch-all" of the punctuation world. Aren't you supposed to be able to put it anywhere that you know punctuation is supposed to go, but you're not quite sure what exact punctuation to use?

strawberry

When I read Ask Dr. Michael the voice in my head is John C. Reilly.

I would hardly consider RACHAEL an expert; it's obvious she has too many vowels in her name.

Is the Potato(e) a Fruit?

If I were a tree, I would be an asbestos tree.

Kelly,
I'm sorry this happened to you. You seem like such a nice, helpful girl and you did not deserve this. :(

Why, oh why would you half-ass punctuation and use a semicolon when and whole colon would have been proper?

If grammar were like digestion, Kelly's sentence construction would be like halting your recently-eaten-big-mac before it could reach sigmoid colon. If the Big Mac doesn't enter the sigmoid, it can never escape through the rectum.

Accordingly, Kelly's sentence will never succeed in escaping the grammatical bowels and has (as you have seen) caused quite an unpleasant grammatical impaction.

COLON!

Grammar geeks get on my nerves.

I had a banana; for breakfast. :)

Semi-colon, yes, incorrectly used. Should have been a comma really, but who am I to complain? :D

I would have... a passionfruit for a nose because, goddammit, it would smell great for ages!

The Brit.

This semicolon was incorrect and weird. A colon would have also not made sense in this case. Let's stick with commas where commas are due, ok people? Kelly, I'm sure you were thinking, "Hey, I'm posting a cute note to Steve for the site. I'm not thinking about my punctuation. Hell at least I didn't use the letter 2 or say 'U R'". So brava. But again, comma. Semicolons are only taught in school in case you run into someone who was pretentious enough to use one.

The recent activity on your site coupled with talk about fruit noses has given me a semicolon.

I don't know about semi-colons - but I just passed some meat through my colon.

Just thought you'd appreciate.

Banana, for the perv factor.

I avoid the use of semi-colons solely for the reason that things which have 'semi' as a prefix are usually not very cool. Maybe semi-trucks. Well.. those are more scary. But honestly, how could one seduce a lady using 'semi' phrases!?

'Time for sex, Delilah. I'm semi-aroused.'
'I had a semi-good time tonight.'
'You are soooo semi-hot!'
'I'm so sorry I'm late for dinner, I'm stuck in traffic. Don't worry, I'm semi-there!'
'I can't wait to be semi-inside of you.'
'Don't worry about the bill, babe. I've semi-got it.'

I had a Hotpocket for breakfast.
Not my best idea.

Oddly enough, semicolons were invented in the 19th century by Professor Emeritus Archibald St. Jean-Smythe of Oxford upon Avon as a means of stimulating conversation. Apparently faculty dinners were conducted in silence, and considered second only to a recitation of the poetry of Sir Henry Wordsworth regarding the level of catatonia induced in the partaker. Prof. St. Jean-Smythe introduced the truncated punctuation among various first and second year students he had the privilege of tutoring, giving various instructions on its use. The subsequent confusion caused great fervor among the faculty who would encounter the thing in student papers, and were unable to deduce it’s origin or purpose, but who had been advised on great authority by several students of high birth that the aforementioned punctuation not only existed, but would imply a certain lack of credential among the staff were they unaware of it’s meaning. Hearsay indicates several to the high-spirited conversations, typically held over dinner, even came to blows. The good professor finished his tenure in high spirits, enjoying the lively dinner atmosphere on campus as never before. Tragically, he later lost his life in a dual with one Arthur Fallingsgate, Esq. over the placement of an apostrophe on a bill of lading.

While the discussions continue to this day, one can’t help but wonder what a quiet place the teacher’s break rooms and online grammar forums* had it not been for the semicolon; the one piece of punctuation with absolutely no official rules.

*O.k. Technically an online forum makes no particular sound, unless the host has attached some sort of embedded sound-track to it. God I hate that. You open up a couple of pages and the machine sort of slows down. Then suddenly there is some cacophony blaring for the speakers and you are forced to click on every tab or window to determine which page is causing the ruckus, generally resulting in the closing of most of the previously opened pages in a desperate attempt to find the culprit. Bastards.

YEAH; STEVIE'S HOME!

Why stop at the nose? You should have the complete Archimboldo makeover, like so;

Comments work!

Only recently have I fallen in love with the use of the semi-colon; so much so that it just slips through my fingertips and onto the page.

A pineapple of course,what other fruit could it be?!?!?

If my nose were a fruit I'd want it to be a star fruit because that'd be pretty damn awesome. My day was fantastic.

If my nose was a fruit I would want it to be a persimmon because they have a delicious yet understated flavor.

Forget semicolons, the interrobang is where it's at!
http://bloodywellwrite.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/interrobang.jpg

Day was good.

Nose would be strawberry.

Comments appear to be working. I would personally like a grape as a nose...but I'd probably end up eating it.

By the way, semicolons are colons that, due to a troubled childhood, have become public flashers.

Semicolons are transvestite herm-aphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.

Totally creeped out by Beth's watermelon face link; I will never eat watermelon again.

I would be a pineapple. Everybody loves pineapple.

Women. Can't live with them; pass me the opener.
raisins!

a tomato

Today I saw some graffiti in a small town restroom that said "I LOVE PEROGIES" with an illustration of a few steaming perogies underneath. It was the first time anything in a public restroom made me hungry.

Where Kelly used a semi-colon, I tend to use dashes. I use dashes all the time- it drives some of my english teachers nuts, but no one else seems to care.

Swimmingly, home-squeezed espresso with "Cinnamon Buns" creamer, and a world-record weigh-in pumpkin.

I have nothing to add to the semi-colon debate; I just wanted to share my other information with you.

Does it have to be a fruit?
having a finger would be awesome.
then you could pick things with your nose.

The real question is why Rachael capitalized "fancy."

OMG....I never use semi-colons...yea I know I spelled it wrong..I use lots of Periods...PERIOD...Never have to use any punctuation with that. TAKE THAT MRS. MILLIRON!!!

Okay...totally a huckelberry because they are sweet and tasty and BLUE!!! Yes I had huckelberry yogurt for breakfast...why do you ask?

Oh and as a gal...banana nose...NOT a turn on...only good thing..it comes in it's own wrapper.
;-)

Because you're super gay

Meloama is right ---- "super gay" does qualify as a fruit. The kind of fruit looking for an old fashioned kind of fruit. The kind that is really polite and asks before pushing your little fruit stool in.

Im with Jason, the comments dont work! All this boring sem-colon fruit-nose crap! These are simply comments I would only expect to see on some gay man who sold out to twitters page or something of the kind. Fruit noses? How ridiculous!

If my nose had to be a fruit I'd choose a pineapple.

I'm with the "totally incorrect" crowd. Whatever's on either side of a semicolon has to work on its own as a complete sentence - and that doesn't guarantee a GOOD use of the semicolon, just that it's punctuatatively correct. A colon would be better for her sentence.

Totally wrong use of semicolon. Shoulda just been a regular colon. On the other hand, at least she knows what it is! Bonus points there! 8D

My day went pretty okay. It was very productive!

I had tater tots, biscuits and gravy, and bacon for breakfast.

If my nose was a fruit, I think I'd want it to be an orange. I like oranges.

I would be interested in seeing a list of things that you, Steve from the Sneeze, deem Fancy. I'm sure we all would benefit from such a list written by someone of your Fancy caliber.

Sincerely,
Audrey

grape.

I really like cookies.

I would keep the nose I've got but get it legally declared a fruit.

"Inscrutable chicken nose fruit" doesn't really roll off the tongue though so I'll get my marketing people on the case in the morning.

semicolons are strictly to be used to make winkie smiley faces only ;)

My nose would be a papaya. In the shape of a semi colon.
Not a colon colon. That would be gross.

In my world "Fancy or Fancies" are girls underwear. So basically you called Kelly used underwear. Good going steve. Nice way to welcome back your fans.

semi-colons are just colons with incontinence.

if my nose were a fruit, or if it could BE a fruit, I'd choose coconut, simply for the sneeze factor.

my day is going well. thanks for asking, steve.

A banana, since I'm getting older and other things don't work sometimes.

A blueberry bagel with cinnamon sugar.

Punctuation is over-rated. Grammar Police are more boring than accountants.

The day has been average, thank you for asking.

My fruit nose would be a lime.

Thanks for the yummy brains Steve.

I would have to go with; strawberry. They smell pretty good

I just sneezed and sprayed all over my screen while reading a post on the sneeze. Win?

Also, that semicolon was fucking delicious.

I'm British but I wouldn't use a semi colon in that manner. I have a reputation for being a grammar fiend but that post was very cute so I'll let it slide ;).

Oh, and Oxford (England) has a tree brain! I saw it with my own eyes. I even took a photo with the intention of sending it your way but it appears lost to the depths of my hard drive. Should it resurface (the brain itself is long gone- perhaps the thief is a transatlantic type?) I shall pass it on.

She clearly meant to use a comma, but overshot.

When I read over my post I think that my use of the semi colon was incorrect, I probably meant to use a comma... it was just an email i sent off before school one morning.
although, I did sort of mean the sentence "on the one nautical themed cake;"
as more of an opening statement where i would respond to it.

like as if you were writing an essay
"On the usage of a semicolon"
...explanation.

perhaps that makes my punctation choice a little more sensible....

The semicolon usage is incorrect, since they should only be used to separate independent clauses. But enough pedantry! My day was kinda crappy til I hit The Sneeze, I had Raisin Bran for breakfast, and I don't want a nose that resembles a fruit.

I would, however, love to have a nose like Toucan Sam so I could find fruit more easily.

I hope none of these posts degenerate into discussions of other body parts and what fruits people might choose. It could get ugly.

I ate a cornish hen stuffed with rice and fruit. Does that make me fancy?

I think semicolons are pretentious and obnoxious.

I am eating half a sandwich right now that is longer than my face.
I ate the OTHER have of this double facer last night, and everything was fine.
Why am I having so much trouble with this half?
Maybe I am still full from last night?

Terry wins for the best fruit comment, and drew wins for the best semi-colon comment.

Steve, I so wish you'd leave comments open more often; I feel like I have so many things to say all at once that I can't say any of them.

THAT'S how it's done, baby! Sometimes, correct grammar is like porn-- you might not be able to define it, but you know it when you see it.

I would pick anything but a Durian.

People that stomp, explode, and generally just ruin colons: Duke Nukem, Stallone, Arnold, and even Christian Bale. Jake Gyllenhaal as the Price of Persia, and Brandon Routh as Superman... they only destroy semicolons. Although Jake Gyllenhaal in Brokeback Mountain... actually let's not make a colon joke right there.

улыбнуло

Oh man, I overuse semicolons so much... I tend to write really long, rambling sentences, and use semicolons to extend them in an at least somewhat acceptable way; in fact, I just did it! I know that I started doing it last summer, but I can't for the life of me remember why.

Just had a sliced-up kiwi and cottage cheese for breakfast. Which sounds all healthy-like, but I insist on the full-fat stuff, plus now I'll likely go for that piece of chocolate cheesecake that's sitting in the fridge.

I like the semicolon. Other than that, my day is great so far. Nose-fruit-wise, I'd say starfruit.
Tonight i have a gig at the Merchant Ale House in St.Catharines, Ontario, Canada. Can you all come? I'll let the Tree Brains open the show.
any news on the brain thief?

i have a friend with ulcerative colitis and had to have portions of her colon removed. she constantly complains about having a semicolon. i overuse elipses constantly and i never capitalize. i have delusions of e.e. cummings. on the fruit front; i'm just not sure... why not a vegetable, or a cuddly gerbil. yes, that's it... ...a gerbil. i shall call him 'plum'.

on a different front; (i'm trying to use semicolons, now.) the general rule for typing is that there should be one space after a semicolon and two spaces after a colon. ...by the by...

I've probably been using the semicolon incorrectly my entire life. Who knows?

I was going to say raspberry, but I don't want my nose to look like a mass of zits.

I'll go with a tamarillo.

My day was good Steve. Thanks for asking.

How are you? And Raisins and Lux??? Any mysterious body art appearing on your children? I woke up this morning with a semi that alost reached my colon...

My nose would be grapefruit. Just cause it would be big, and round, and funny, and taste like shit...

I had cheese straws for breakfast.

I would have... a pomegranate for a nose, so I'd look like Rudolf (Christmas is coming, doncha know)!

The semicolon is still in the wrong place; it should be used to join two technically separate sentences that also work contiguously, like the particular example included in this sentence.

They are cool, but a bit fiddly.

Hey - what about this then Steve - I could get people to sponsor me to have a semicolon tattooed. I'm terrified of needles, so that's a pretty good reason to start. Plus it'd make an excellent conversation piece! Let me know.

A.

If my nose were a fruit, I would want it to be the fruit of a cupcake tree: a cupcake. That would be B.A. (BADASS).

Semicolons basically have this rule: You must have a full sentence on both sides of the semicolon. Then, if you wanna get REAL FANCY, you make sure those two sentences are related in some way, such as the second sentence explaining or expanding upon the first. Finally, start the second sentence with a lower-case letter, and you're THE FANCIEST.

For example:

Steve's neighbor is a dick; he stole the tree brains.

Semicolons are used in a couple of ways. First, as a separation of thought, when you are providing 2 different sentences each of which could stand on it's own but are loosely associate. For example:

I went to Denny's for breakfast; egg omelets give me the runs.

Also, it can be used to separate items in a list. For example:

There are 2 kinds of people: those that can count; those that can't count; and people who think counting is an overrated talent.

Semicolons can also be used for a pause mid-sentence to provide an off topic anecdote.

The neighbors wife came over today; I've slept with her twice last week; and she asked if I had seen her husband.

Also, If my nose was a fruit, I would want to be a passion fruit.

If my nose was a fruit, it would be a kumquat - no questions asked.

My day has been interesting so far, I woke up at 8. I am currently eating Macaroni and Cheese for breakfast with orange peach mango juice mixed with plan orange juice because I ran out of the former. I am not feeling so well because I have the swine flu. However, it made me happy to be able to read some new posts on one of my favorite blogs. Sincerely, Caitlin

P.S. My nose would be a kiwi.

I just like saying "kumquat".

damn, Sponge Bob has been out for 10 years?

make my nose a banana please.

One of my favorite jokes back in the 80's: Q: What do Ronald Reagan and a typewriter have in common? A: They both have semicolons.

The former brother-in-love (Gabe) and his partner (Meg) visited China in the early 80s. Tourists from the US were still pretty rare at that point. The went into a clothing store, and Meg went into the changing room to try on some clothes. Gabe spoke no Chinese, and is an extremely hairy guy. His beard grows almost up to his eyes - it covers a great deal of his face.

As Gabe waited for Meg, a crowd of people gathered to look at him. They were staring at his beard. He assumed they'd never seen anyone so thickly bearded before. The crowd stood very close to him, staring at his face. So he pulled a dried mango pit out of his pocket, and where the pit had partially split along its edge, he inserted his nose.

The crowd had no response. They just kept staring. Meg, however, came out of the dressing room, saw Gabe, and walked in the opposite direction. Unfortunately, they were the only Americans in the area, so they were obviously together.

My answer: mango nose.

Eh, I don't really care abut semicolons either.

You know when you said, "if your nose had to be a fruit, what fruit would you choose"? You should have said, "if your nose had to be a fruit, what fruit would you pick"? So, you know, you'd be picking your nose ... yeah I know, I'm lame; but I'll bet Raisins would find it funny! Hey, I'd pick a raisin to be my nose! Yay! :D

I asked my 3 year old the nose/fruit question since she's much funnier than I am:

Me: What fruit would you want your nose to be?
Marie: An orange.
Me: Why, cause you like oranges?
Marie: No I like apples.
Me: But you want your nose to be an orange?
Marie: No, an apple. But later. I don't want to fix my nose right now.
Me: Ok.
Marie: Can I have an orange?

I have come to the conclusion that I don't give a shit about semi-colons; however, I did have an awesome bag of chips while thinking about them.

I would like a grape nose.

And thank you for bringing up semi-colons. I'm an editor for a living and believe it or not, I do my job with no formal grammatical training. I edit based on "instinct." So, I suck at semi-colon use, colon use and I don't really know what a gerund is. I can't diagram a sentence and I suck at explaining most of my edits. I just had a review where my boss and I discussed this phenomenon and guess what? She still digs me and thinks I'm doing a great job. Hmmm...

p.s. Raisin is awesome... your kids are a treat! Thanks for sharing!

If my nose had to be a fruit, I would choose a bacon wallet;

It's common knowledge that Australia was once a penal colony, yet few know that its sister country New Zealand was once a vaginal colony.

Why did she put a capital F on fancy? I'm sure that's not right, even though I have no idea when to use a semi-colon.

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Here's a humorous comic on the proper use of the semicolon:

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/semicolon

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