May 2009 Archives

Lux Live!

Over the weekend Lux (age 9) and I had a blast on Twitter. We were just talking and for some reason he told me he had the ability to "answer any question." I jumped on Twitter and announced that Lux was with me and would answer anybody's questions. Within minutes they flooded in.

As fun as it was for us, I don't think Twitter was the ideal forum because even if you follow me there, I'm sure it wasn't easy to see the original questions we were answering without lots of clicking around after the answers had been made.

So here's a quick round-up of some of my favorite Qs and As from the event.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
@MaxKind A woodchuck could chuck ten thousand.

Who is the best superhero?
@princeofcats The best superhero is SuperMe. Or maybe Iron Man.

Why does my cat's poop smell SOOOO BAD? Like, worse than any other smell I've ever smelled.
@MCheeken If the cat looks ugly or smells ugly or even meow's ugly - then it must poop ugly.

Where does gravity come from?
@princeofcats Gravity comes from the people inside the ground where they stick their little invisible fingers out and keep us on the floor.

what do women want? Maybe Lux can answer this age-old question...
@lisalisa29 Q: What do women want? A: A boyfriend! One with a nice, tender, big, round, cuddly, loveable, squeezeable... coconut!!!!

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
@DarthAlbertIII "The world may never know! But my guess is 1...2...3... CHOMP! I saw the commercial. It's got an owl and some kid."

My Kids favorite is "What was the name of the first person?"
@KI6BJV "Adam was the first male ever created. Eve was the first female. The third guy was Bob."

What's the average land speed of a caveman?
@Gimpolo "The average land speed of a caveman? Forming a riot and then running at googolplex miles per hour."

Ask lux "how many roads must a man walk down before he can call himself a man"
@bfett82 "The average age of a man is 20 so he'd have to walk for 20 years down 20 roads to officially become a man."

In a fight between Santa and Bigfoot, who would win?
@LateFines "I don't really know. Bigfoot is super powerful, but Santa Claus has the Force."

How about "How do bees make honey?"
@tiffanyrfox "Bees just squirt the honey through their butts. It's that simple."

Q: What am I thinking right now?
@GAJesus "You're thinking of having triplets, flying to the moon and meeting aliens."

What do you think of people with purple hair?
@thraeryn "I think people with purple hair are freaky. They belong on planet Mars. Then again, I know they think it's fashionable."

What's the airspeed velocity of a unladen swallow?
@TutTheMummy "I'm gonna say 10 or 20 birdmiles per hour."

What is the secret to life, the universe and everything?
@PaigeMeekison "Everybody is here to be themselves. And mostly play video games."

We'll definitely do it again sometime. Hopefully we can figure out a better user experience for everyone. (Email me any suggestions.)

I'm @thesneeze on Twitter. Here's my Twitter page: http://www.twitter.com/thesneeze.

Some of you may follow me on Twitter. If not, you can find me here. (You might as well. I have no reason to believe Twitter won't be around and popular forever. Unlike Friendster and Napster which were awesomely cool until we realized we were tricked and they weren't.)

Anyway, last week I noticed "Britain's Got Talent" singer, Susan Boyle, had been in the "Trending Topics" list on Twitter for awhile - so I tweeted a joke about her. I wrote: "I'm not saying Susan Boyle causes swine flu. I'm just saying nobody had swine flu, she sang on TV, people got swine flu."

It was a perfectly fine comedy joke. I noticed within a few hours it was "re-tweeted" (forwarded) a bunch of times on Twitter. (And I'd like to be clear that the only reason I even noticed it was retweeted like that was because I relentlessly clicked the button that showed me all the retweets to feed my pathetic ego. And it was like a 120 times. But whatever. I don't care.)

A few days later a reader sent me an email with the subject line "YOU MAY HAVE CAUSED A PROBLEM." Inside it read "And it's funnier than ever." They also included a link to this article from a British newspaper.

It seems a Junior Minister in the Britain's Labor Party is on Twitter -- and he retweeted the joke. Only it wasn't met with too many LOLs.

According to the article, "Tories were horrified" and "fellow Labour MPs were aghast. 'It's infantile, isn't it,' one says. 'Hasn't he got enough to do?'"

My initial reaction was "No! I'm the infantile one! I'm the one who doesn't have enough to do!" But then I thought, this disease really is spreading all over the place and actually killing people -- so I think I'm cool with sharing credit on it.

The Junior Minister later pulled the post off Twitter and apologized saying "Earlier I repeated a joke that was in poor taste, which I now regret. I apologise wholeheartedly for any distress or embarrassment caused."

For what it's worth bro, I forgive you.

The episode was also mentioned in this Telegraph article about Worst Tweets.

See, that was always the problem with Friendster. Way too difficult to horrify Tories.

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