September 18, 2008


It's just like the end of the beloved classic film "Turner & Hooch" when Hooch dies, but we learn he had babies. Or the crappy book "Charlotte's Web" when Charlotte dies, but we learn she had babies.

Stella the Tree Brain is gone, but she left us little Tree Brain Babies! I saw this cute little guy and a few others on the tree this morning. I snapped a quick pic with my phone.

(Oh, by the way, Turner & Hooch and Charlotte's Web SPOILER ALERT!)

Also -- Lauren just whipped up this lovely baby announcement.

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Posted by Steven | Archive

Charlotte's Web, crappy?

You've gone too far!!!!

Posted by: owl at September 18, 2008 8:45 AM

<sniff> I think i'm going to cry.

Yep. I am.

Posted by: LuciferSam at September 18, 2008 8:46 AM

it's back from the dead! maybe it will avenge itself!

Posted by: jeanine at September 18, 2008 8:48 AM

oh, yes! *begs for self-avengement*

Posted by: pienose at September 18, 2008 8:55 AM

in your face thieves!

Posted by: the EYE at September 18, 2008 8:55 AM

BANGAI OH!!!!!???????

Well, let us know how they develop.

Posted by: GUS at September 18, 2008 8:57 AM

Yaaaaay! Tree brain babies rawk!

Posted by: Alistair at September 18, 2008 9:01 AM

now thats its coming back, you need to have 24/7 security on it!!! don't let this crime happen again!

Posted by: Kellie at September 18, 2008 9:01 AM

Hooch DIES!!!????! Oh thanks for that! Now I'll never get to see that movie! You fuppin' baxter!

Posted by: monkyhead at September 18, 2008 9:02 AM

In your BRAIN, thieves!!

Posted by: Fitz at September 18, 2008 9:05 AM


Posted by: Steve at September 18, 2008 9:06 AM

Maybe a live feed so we can all make sure she is safe? Babies need to be taken care of after all.

Posted by: Little_bit at September 18, 2008 9:16 AM

Too bad there are no little baby quarters so we can do little baby size comparisons. That would be oh so cute.

Posted by: Cody at September 18, 2008 9:21 AM

maybe Stella was male and mated with a female tree brain and then the female ate Stella like how the praying mantis do it! yeah, that's it.

Posted by: Susan in NWPA at September 18, 2008 9:26 AM

The last sentence shows why you are awesome, in a convenient, bite-sized little morsel.

Posted by: LiteralDan at September 18, 2008 9:28 AM

Steve, I think you're looking at this all wrong. It's more like Gremlins II, where the female one is still alive at the end. Sure it's cute and funny. Until she kills again.
Eat it, Steve. Before it eats you.

Posted by: Gumbercules at September 18, 2008 9:36 AM

Someone cue Linus and a spotlight.

"For unto you, a child is born..."

Posted by: Ben at September 18, 2008 9:42 AM

Huzzah! This calls for celebration! Drinks are on me, everyone!

Posted by: Christina Reese at September 18, 2008 9:45 AM

So is this Stella Jr., or do we have to come up with another name?

What a beautiful little tree brain baby, the prettiest I've ever seen.

Posted by: Krista at September 18, 2008 9:48 AM

Hooray! Hope is not lost! Take that brain tree thief!

Posted by: Christina at September 18, 2008 9:52 AM

Charlotte dies? But then who protects Wilbur from becoming bacon? Delicious crispy "some pig" bacon.

Posted by: Craig at September 18, 2008 9:55 AM

How would you feel, Steve, if I came and sat by your tree in a lawnchair holding a baseball bat or something? Nothing explicit, just a quiet presence.
This has been quite the emotional rollercoaster; I can't takes much more.

Posted by: sean at September 18, 2008 9:56 AM

Well I hope you're happy mister. Now you've ruined the endings of two movies that I was clearly about to watch.

PS mmmm 'some pig' bacon mmmmm

Posted by: adam at September 18, 2008 10:10 AM

I wonder if this little tree brain will live for nothing but vengeance like Inigo Montoya. It'll go around all "My name is _______ you killed my mother/father. Prepare to die."

Posted by: lizardqueen at September 18, 2008 10:18 AM

Inigo Montoya = baby tree brain's name, OBVY.

Posted by: crackjob at September 18, 2008 10:24 AM

That's it! We should call him Inigo Montoya!

Posted by: Julia at September 18, 2008 10:27 AM

So..Since Stella is gone, and her babies are 'little guys' should we call him Stanley?

Street Car Named Desire, anyone?

Posted by: Jer at September 18, 2008 10:27 AM

"My name is Inigo Montoya... you killed my spore-bearing predecessor... prepare to die."

Tree Brain Babies = new Saturday morning cartoon series, plus major merchandising.

Posted by: BonzoGal at September 18, 2008 10:35 AM

Where's the hot and heavy discussion about the obviously needed Security for the baby brain? Webcam footage (like this nightvision webcam at instructables: would be awesome and could spawn a grassroots campaign to catch the pilferer.

Posted by: JK at September 18, 2008 10:40 AM

There IS a God!

Posted by: Angela at September 18, 2008 10:53 AM

Maybe this is a pint sized clone. Get it some chocolate, it's like catnip for clones.

"He's gone mental on account of the chocolate!"

Posted by: jeleyman at September 18, 2008 10:54 AM

As one who has been quietly following the adventures of the Tree Brains for some time now, I feel that I must agree that baby tree brain must be called Inigo Montoya.

Posted by: Alex V. at September 18, 2008 11:08 AM


Posted by: Glen K. Amo at September 18, 2008 11:14 AM

You have a brain!

Posted by: Candace at September 18, 2008 11:18 AM

Or like that other beloved classic Return of the Living Dead where the army nukes all the zombies and you think they're all gone until the very end where they show the corpse below ground that is all of a sudden re-animated.

Steve, I think you should treat Stella's babies with caution....

Posted by: Pells at September 18, 2008 11:27 AM

I'm with owl you went too far with the Charlotte insult...sigh. However I think we should round up all the Tree Brains and do a children's album in order to celebrate the birth of our beloved Inigo.

Posted by: Bec at September 18, 2008 11:29 AM

Inigo Montoya gets my vote. But... wait! Does that mean Stella's killer was a six-fingered man?

Posted by: Mancho at September 18, 2008 11:40 AM

Inigo Montoya. It HAS to be Inigo Montoya.

Posted by: Flunky at September 18, 2008 11:58 AM

Oh man, you need to spin off Comments At The Sneeze as its own hilarious blog. We are all greater than the sum of our parts, though I admit I don't bring much to the table.

So, to sum up:
1) Inigo is the Tree Brain baby's name

2) If nothing else (such as the highly recommended cutting-edge video security system and tiger pit), you need to at least set a little baby monitor out there by the little guy, so you can make sure he's okay. Oh, and stick an "It's a Boy!" sign in the tree right by it.

Then maybe the sick bastard who cut up and ate his mother can think about it before s/he strikes again.

Posted by: LiteralDan at September 18, 2008 12:06 PM

awwwww. They have her eyes.

Posted by: jennielynn at September 18, 2008 12:31 PM

You do remember the beginning of Charlotte's Web 2 (or CW2) where all the babies are unceremoniously sprayed with pesticides.... and you thought the FIRST one was a tear-jerker.

Posted by: Oliver at September 18, 2008 12:38 PM

Steve, I found the thief!

Posted by: Lollipop Kid Security, Inc. at September 18, 2008 12:40 PM

That's so flippin' awesome. I am full of jealousy; you get two tree brains (well if Stella wasn't stolen), and I have none.

Posted by: Alex at September 18, 2008 12:45 PM

And even the circle of tree brain life is complete. How lovely.

Posted by: feathermaye at September 18, 2008 12:46 PM

Oh Happy Day!

Congratulations on the Stellette! Stellito? Stilletto?

Buona Fortuna, Due Cervella Stella!

Posted by: Bren at September 18, 2008 1:02 PM

The universe is right again.

Posted by: Starr at September 18, 2008 2:42 PM

Years ago I failed, in a movie review for the local nespaper, to reveal that Hooch dies at the end of "Turner & Hooch," & did my sister ever give me a ration of crap about it when she took my unsuspecting six-year-old nephew to see it & he was inconsolable. Spoilers, schmoilers.

Posted by: M.V. Moorhead at September 18, 2008 2:48 PM

What do you think about 24/7 camera surveillance. In my mind, nothing says ratings like a tree brain eater on tape.

Posted by: Jeff Milner at September 18, 2008 2:54 PM

This just made my day.

MAKE SURE you have the proper security this time.

Posted by: maria at September 18, 2008 4:09 PM

Let's not be pussies about this- Little Inigo's security requires some serious measures. I say Steve gets Adam Savage to wire up some invisible traps around the tree. The next ass-hat to touch our precious brain will be plunged into a deep pit of hot dog poop!

Posted by: BonzoGal at September 18, 2008 4:22 PM

There is justice in this world after all!

Posted by: Erin The Great at September 18, 2008 4:23 PM

Steve, I know you've been through a lot lately. So, for your own good, I'm gonna pretend you DID NOT call Charlotte's Web a "crappy book".

Posted by: The Leslie Shoe at September 18, 2008 4:42 PM

was stella married....?

Posted by: manda eskimo at September 18, 2008 4:50 PM

Can anyone say "video baby monitor"?

Posted by: Amygo at September 18, 2008 5:54 PM

Awww look at little Inigo! Cute and cuddly and all!

Posted by: Ade at September 18, 2008 7:56 PM


I can't believe someone stole the freakin' quarter.

Posted by: san antone rose at September 18, 2008 8:51 PM

Do you really believe I think Turner and Hooch is a "beloved classic"?


Posted by: Steve at September 18, 2008 10:55 PM


Posted by: Adam at September 19, 2008 3:22 AM

Yum, "some pig" bacon with little tree brain veal.

Posted by: JT at September 19, 2008 6:02 AM

Call Wells Fargo and station a 24/7 guard until this little fella is old enough to avenge the untimely death (and likely saute'ing) of Stella!

In lieu of the guard, a webcam with a motion sensor would be excellent too!

If you aren't willing to post some protection, how about starting a Tree Brain Recipe Page?

Posted by: Mydrivec at September 19, 2008 6:59 AM

It's a Christmas miracle!

Posted by: Doug at September 19, 2008 8:29 AM

And balance is once again restored to the universe.

Posted by: thewildbunny at September 19, 2008 8:52 AM


Posted by: Jordan at September 19, 2008 8:55 AM

Ummm, trees don't have brains. Sorry to burst your bubble.

Posted by: jlazerus at September 19, 2008 9:05 AM

What will name the prodigal offspring? (and will you eat it?)

Posted by: at September 19, 2008 9:47 AM

Stella was a virgin?

Posted by: mark at September 19, 2008 10:30 AM

let's hope it mutates and seeks vengence for its mother in an absorbent/ blobby/ Akira-type form rolling through the streets of sacramento screaming in a high pitched voice from no discernible mouth...

I am hearting the babies with a big red bow, let's hope the brains take over the your tree is just one giant brain next year- it's certainly spreading!!

Posted by: nate xxx at September 19, 2008 11:10 AM


Posted by: Grant at September 19, 2008 12:56 PM

Maybe Inigo Montoya is going to eat part of Steve's brain in revenge for his mom. And then after that he's going after the hacks that stole Stella!

Or maybe this is all a conspiracy and nobody stole Stella but Steve ate her in all her lemony goodness!

Or maybe Inigo IS Stella, reincarnated.

Or maybe... *head explodes*

Posted by: thedemigod at September 19, 2008 2:56 PM

OMG the tree brain had babies and I just found out I'm going to have a baby!

>.< Too late for joining baby showers I guess.

Posted by: Dani from Facebook at September 19, 2008 3:07 PM

I was sitting here doing workstuff and saw that one my company's offices is located in Braintree, MA.
Tee hee.

Posted by: Tessa at September 19, 2008 3:27 PM

Wait...Tom Hanks played a tree brain?

Posted by: Ruben at September 19, 2008 3:56 PM

Live Brainfeed.

Posted by: The Abominable Cellist at September 19, 2008 4:20 PM

Next year you ought to hang a sign "Don't take my brain!" next to the tree. That way the perp has no excuse for thinking that he or she can just take other people's tree brains all willy-nilly. And install a security web-cam if possible so you can start a massive youtube campaign against heinous crimes such as these.

Posted by: JtG at September 19, 2008 5:31 PM


Couldn't help but blurt this out:

Booby trap little Inigo. Replace him with a bigger, much more delicious-looking fake tree brain made of play doh stuck on the tree. And then when the mysterious hat lady yanks it, radioactive dye explodes on her. Or skunk juice. You decide.

Totally pimping you out on my blog. This is the funniest shnitz I have read in a long time.

Posted by: thedemigod at September 19, 2008 5:48 PM

Oh man it's crowning!

Posted by: creasy at September 19, 2008 5:53 PM

As I named the first time, I would LOVE to name the second. Fred works, Yes, Fred wouldld be fitting.
Love all

Posted by: Daskat at September 19, 2008 11:26 PM

Omg... Did Stella sleep around?


Waitaminute.... Does that mean....Are there more than just one or how do they.... no... wait...
What does that mean??????

Well, congratulations on the new babies! Have you and your wife already decided who is going to get up when they start crying in the middle of the night?

Posted by: Jade at September 20, 2008 12:25 AM

Yeah! This is great news. I hope no one will try to steal it.

Posted by: Mrs.Sound at September 20, 2008 11:13 AM

So if Stella is a virgin... and she had a baby...

Does that mean she's the Virgin Stella, blessed mother of the one and only savior of all treebrains
known otherwise as...


Yes, Treesus shall do.

Posted by: KKraus at September 20, 2008 4:09 PM

Take note as well, KKraus, that the Miracle Treesus was born three days after Stella was taken from us. Or perhaps, risen again... ?

Posted by: Passer BY at September 20, 2008 7:37 PM

Holy Crap you're right...

Someone slap a halo on that brain, its the holy savior of tree brains


Quick, someone start a gospel according to Oak.

Posted by: KKraus at September 21, 2008 9:45 AM

Hooray for tree brain babies!!!

Maybe tree brains are like turtles, and after they lay their eggs, they never return to the site -- maybe Stella laid her eggs, and then left.

I think you need to rent a German Shepherd for security detail.

And for that matter, now that you have tree-brains so that a dog could get the scent, you should send a bloodhound after Stella! And make milk carton pictures!

Posted by: Rachel at September 21, 2008 11:32 AM

Hallelujah! Praise Treesus!

Posted by: Chris at September 21, 2008 3:07 PM

Is it just me or is the birth announcement creepily similar to a "Corn Pop"? Is that what comes from Capn' Crunch and the the bird from Coca Puffs illicit love affair?

Just wondering

Posted by: Michael at September 22, 2008 11:49 AM