February 15, 2008

Love Tip Follow-up

Bill wrote yesterday...


I just read your "Stevie's Home" post and enjoyed it and TOTALLY agree with it.

You may find it interesting to note that there is a guy who wrote an ENTIRE book on this very topic in, I think, the early 1970s. I heard about it in a psychology class in college. I bought the paperback and read it. It was over 20 years ago that I read it and, while I agreed with the premise, an entire book is a lot to write about the topic.

Basically, the "First Four Minutes" premise is two-fold. First is the obvious one, that first impressions are important. Basically, the first four minutes you meet anyone new will set the tone for your entire relationship with that person. Obviously, your feelings toward that person will evolve with time, but that initial impression will always be there.

The second part of the premise is EXACTLY what you are talking about. The first four minutes of whenever you see anyone, even a spouse, after being away from them, even for just eight hours or so, sets the tone. In other words, if you come home from work slamming doors, it sets the tone for the entire evening, and it's hard to recover from that. Likewise, if you can just put a happy face on for the first four minutes when you come in the door, it will make for a positive evening regardless of what is weighing on you.

The "So What" factor of his entire premise is that the author feels that almost every failed marriage could be saved by spouses being nice to each other for the first four minutes after being apart. Pretty much, the same premise of your posting, but you did it in a few paragraphs, and it took him an entire book.

Anyway, thought you might find that interesting.

Bill from DDT Digest

Click here for The Sneeze Home Page!
Posted by Steven | Archive