September 5, 2008

A Growing Brain

Welcome to Day 2 in the life of our little Tree Brain. (Or at least Day 2 of my tracking it. I didn't notice her right away.)

It appears she's feeling braver and wants to venture outside of her hole. She may be cute, but let's keep in mind most babies are. She is still pure, delicious evil.

Incidentally, I was asked to review a new Sony camera -- the DSLR-a300k. I am by no means a photographer, but I'll be giving it a test ride by taking all the Tree Brain pix with it. So far it's pretty great. You can see a very large version of the 2nd pic right here.

I also received this email... "Yo Steve, How about a name contest for Miss Tree Brain, I vote for Stella DASKAT."

Sure, go ahead. But I have to say, "Stella Daskat" is excellent.

And finally, on the comment board Jason says: "Maybe its just me, but isn't there a large phallus in the middle of the tree brain???

I've animated and highlighted it for your entertainment." You can find that right here.

Thanks, Jason! I think.

Click here for The Sneeze Home Page!
Posted by Steven | Archive

It looks like she's got arms developing ... those little nubs down at the sides.

Posted by: Jennifer at September 5, 2008 8:53 AM

Wow, that's a lot of growth for just a day... How big could this thing possibly get?

Could treebrain solve world hunger?

Posted by: JadeTalon at September 5, 2008 8:57 AM

I actually have some of this growing out of a railroad tie in my backyard...hmmmm.......

Posted by: Lula at September 5, 2008 8:57 AM

Go brain, go!

Although I won't be truly impressed until it develops some form of speech capability. I'm sure the Tree Brains can teach the world many things.

Posted by: Jones at September 5, 2008 8:58 AM

its crazy how fast it grows! mmm delecious brains

Posted by: raymac at September 5, 2008 9:06 AM

are you gonna eat it this year steve? a little salt and olive oil?

Posted by: carolyn at September 5, 2008 9:08 AM

Oh Carolyn,
It's not a question of if, just when.

Posted by: Steve at September 5, 2008 9:09 AM

I like you steve, I trust you steve, but how do we know this isn't your expanding foam creation? I'm just sayin'!

Posted by: Kathleen at September 5, 2008 9:14 AM

Don't 5 years of photos and eventual brain consumption get me any cred?

Posted by: Steve at September 5, 2008 9:16 AM

I think it looks like a Heffalump! There she is crawling over out of the tree with her trunk sniffing the way. Awww.

Posted by: Jo at September 5, 2008 9:30 AM

I think there should be a "Name and Recipe" contest...

How about Tree Brain Jane


-Sautee in olive oil with garlic and finely diced shallots. Pinch of salt and fresh cracked pepper. Remove from heat when cooked thru. Let cool for 15 minutes, then toss with reduced balsamic vinager, and serve over medium rare steak.

Serve with a nice Valpocello.

... I'm hungry already.

Posted by: CarlosValdosta at September 5, 2008 9:31 AM

It's almost ready to grow REAL big! Will the tree brain be taken again? We'll wait and see.

Posted by: Savage at September 5, 2008 9:36 AM

I...HATE...mushrooms. I have to say though, you've convinced me to try this. Now it's just a matter of finding one :-\ *drool*

Posted by: Chris at September 5, 2008 9:37 AM

I think you need to plan a ritualistic Tree Brain sacrificial party, so that at least some of your loyal readers can share the joys of Tree Brain consumption with you.

Posted by: David at September 5, 2008 9:37 AM

You should put a pan of sizzling butter at the bottom of the tree and convince her to jump.

Posted by: Barf at September 5, 2008 9:41 AM

Maybe its just me, but isn't there a large phallus in the middle of the tree brain???

See, right here, I've animated and highlighted it for your entertainment:

Posted by: jason at September 5, 2008 9:43 AM

it even has super realistic double.... appendages.

Posted by: jason at September 5, 2008 9:44 AM

It really does look like she has 2 little outstretched arms! She's ready for a big hug!

Posted by: Marcia at September 5, 2008 9:49 AM

I liked the large picture of the Tree Brain you took with your new camera; it looked really nice, and it got me thinking: it would look great as a desktop background. Do I sense a new line of "The Sneeze" wallpapers in the works?

Posted by: Wilson at September 5, 2008 10:03 AM

Thanks. Now what I once saw as an adorable fungus baby will forever have a penis on her head.

Still, congrats on the new arrival. Where are you registered?

Posted by: Pickle at September 5, 2008 10:24 AM

I think you need a sign in front of it:

DO NOT EAT THE TREE BRAIN! (I saw you Neighbor lady!)

Posted by: verybigjen at September 5, 2008 10:30 AM

You ate it last year if I remember correctly. I was so envious; I want a tree brain/lemon chicken of the woods growing on MY tree. Perhaps you could sell spores so your tree brain could spread all over the planet and take us over?

Isn't your tree brain named TABONGA? Or was that just one year's name?

So glad you're back and the brain is still making its annual attempt to communicate.

Posted by: mars at September 5, 2008 10:31 AM

I think now with the discovery of the phallus, you might have to rethink the gender of the brain.

Posted by: Mark Jackson at September 5, 2008 10:52 AM

I never would have seen that phallus-- it's the rare "complete package", as it were. Thanks for the helpful visual aid-- isn't the Internet wonderful?

I'm going to assume the tree brain is an asexual being, and I hope if the fungus thief comes snooping around again, she catches it in the act of self-fertilizing.

And forget the mere sign suggested above-- you need to post a mug shot there like the post office wall. That'll send the right message.

Posted by: LiteralDan at September 5, 2008 10:52 AM

I no longer measure the end of Summer and wearing white for the year with Labor Day. It's all about the Brains.

Posted by: tom at September 5, 2008 10:54 AM

I think the actual tree is "Tabonga."

Posted by: Steve at September 5, 2008 11:01 AM

I'm late getting to know "The Adventures of Tobonga and His/Her Many Brains", but I'm hooked now.

And I'm more than a little disturbed that someone would be ballsy enough to come right out and steal it! I mean, what the hell, people?!

Posted by: feathermaye at September 5, 2008 11:20 AM

I love this time of year. When you have a little brain growing up, the time just flies doesn't it?

Posted by: Alyx at September 5, 2008 11:24 AM

It's nice now but when we're old and the commecrials start in early July (Tree Brain Season is almost here! Shop early and save!) and it's been over-commercialized we'll all be bitter and complain. Let's enjoy the Season now while it's still mostly pure.


(Lead guitarist / babe getter)

Posted by: Glen K. Amo at September 5, 2008 11:55 AM

Should name it Sarah Palin since both pretty much came out of nowhere a couple of days ago.

Posted by: Schmeekly at September 5, 2008 1:14 PM

This tree brain is a developing Sour Patch Kid...check the commercial for proof!

Posted by: Shaun at September 5, 2008 1:14 PM

A transsexual tree brain? Gotta call it The Lady Chablis.

Posted by: san antone rose at September 5, 2008 2:01 PM

With the sweet resolution captured on that fancy pants new Sony - I've noticed there is a spider either attacking or living with the brainette. I sure hope they don't mate and produce some sort of delicious tree brain/spider type offspring. Although, I'm pretty sure she has not yet reached sexual maturity - course she does have a big dong.

Anyone have the ability to illustrate what that would look like?

Posted by: P Kridrain. at September 5, 2008 2:41 PM

are you going to eat the tree brain this year? just curious.

Posted by: carey at September 5, 2008 2:56 PM

The Tree Brains ft. Stella Daskat
September 11th, 2008
Live @ Steve's.

Bring your olive oil.

Posted by: Camille at September 5, 2008 3:31 PM

Now that I have seen the shroom schlong, I can't unsee it. It is all encompassing.

Posted by: Tim at September 5, 2008 3:32 PM

Oh, Steve, now would be such a perfect time to let your loyal Sneezers have another chance to get one of those sweet Tree Brains t-shirts you offered before (when I was broke). I've been practicing my theoretical jug playing and would really like to represent!
The fact that I didn't get one when I had a chance haunts me to this very day.

Happy Tree Brain Season!

Posted by: JenDiggity at September 5, 2008 3:55 PM

I hope this means Tree Brains t-shirts will make a return as well!

Posted by: Andrew at September 5, 2008 3:58 PM

Isn't the dong sighting worthy of a free tree brains t-shirt?!?!

If dong discovery doesn't qualify, what does?!

Posted by: Jason at September 5, 2008 4:43 PM

If it has a phallus, wouldn't that make it a 'he?'
Or are all tree brains hermaphodites perhaps?

Posted by: sarah at September 5, 2008 5:17 PM

Are you gonna eat her this year?! My head is exploding waiting for the answer. LOL

Posted by: thedemigod at September 5, 2008 5:43 PM


Zoom in just under the phallus!

That is either a tree brain bandit or Little Miss Tree Brain has an adam's apple and blew her load. :P Talk about great pic quality to catch a tree brain in full "bloom." ;)

Posted by: Adam at September 5, 2008 10:59 PM

How about a name from Rocky Horror Picture show?
I don't think Magenta would work since she's not red, but maybe Janet. Or perhaps RuPaul since she's obviously well endowed (at least 1/4 of her body)

Posted by: Steve-O at September 5, 2008 11:37 PM

Oh, goodness, this is so exciting!

Steve, I'd buy a T-shirt this time around, too. I was an idiot last time and didn't get in on it and now I can't advertise the most awesome theoretical band ever.

Posted by: Terra at September 5, 2008 11:48 PM

I love the third pic! It's like she's climbing out of the tree-hole. Hallo, World!

Posted by: SaDiablo at September 6, 2008 5:19 AM

I had huge tree brains for years in my side yard there are huge holes where they were. Like the kinds a small child can walk into...tree brains are taking over the world. I too am infatuated with the shroom schlong..waiting to de how it develops

Posted by: Kassie at September 6, 2008 5:30 AM

It's name should be Amanda, with the old Waylon Jennings song playing in the background...while you eat her.

I also want my own tiki mug...but they are so damn expensive.

And I want a tree brain t-shirt. And a pony.

Thanks Santa.


Posted by: Kang at September 6, 2008 5:37 AM

Aren't you supposed to eat the brains young? If you wait too long they'll be all tough and bitter just like grandma! Hurry up and eat it Steve!

Posted by: Henry at September 6, 2008 6:14 AM

steve, just a word of advice:

Posted by: iamtheTBbandit at September 6, 2008 7:19 AM

Oh my, Summer sure flies by, doesn't it!
That middle image you have is quite sharp, I'd give that camera a good review thus far.
That phallus is a little unnerving... Though if the fungus *IS* male (and has any analogous qualities to humans, oh my!) then I guess that says something about brains and hormones.... Oops!

Posted by: Draithy at September 6, 2008 7:46 AM

There's not phallus. It's obvious female, and she's obviously reaching out to you with tiny little arms.

Posted by: Sally Villarreal at September 6, 2008 10:40 AM

I found this page by accident and now I am totally addicted to it...I have emailed all my friends too...I love STEVE DON"T EAT IT...OMG Steve I love you! and all this mention of tree brain t-shirts...I want one !

Posted by: Dawn at September 6, 2008 11:55 AM

I like the picture that highlights the phallus. It's disturbing, but I like the graphics... Nice touch.

Posted by: Dana at September 6, 2008 3:06 PM

I LOVE Tree Brain's the most wonderful time of the year! And....a reintroduction of the Tree Brain T-shirt would be a lovely way to start off the season. Perhaps even a contest for a new generation of T-shirt design......

Posted by: Rob at September 6, 2008 3:12 PM

Hi Steve!!!!
I am going to post a quick story of me finding this blog :D
I was just browsing, and came upon Steve Don't Eat it, wow MONTHS ago, possibly a year. I read all the Don't Eat It's with Relish (LOL) and then all the archives, and was saddened to see the site lay dormant. But I had it in my favorites, and checked it every day. My heart leaped for JOY, PURE JOY when I saw you post back.
And now the tree brain has appeared once again.
I am simply overwhelmed :)

Posted by: Kenzie at September 7, 2008 9:16 AM

Dude you were spot on!!! I think we've all been trying to say what mknbxjdppg stated so eloquently.

Posted by: Rob at September 7, 2008 8:25 PM

"large phallus"

That's large?

Posted by: anonymous at September 8, 2008 7:56 AM

I wish I had not been a cheapo and had bought a tree brains shirt when I had the chance.
Pleeeeeeeeeze bring them back Steve. I promise I won't get scroogy with it next time.
p.s. I love tree brains in place of chicken in stir fries, but no, I am not the fungus thief!

Posted by: Rosetta at September 8, 2008 8:52 AM

Hmmm, do you think it gets smarter every year?

Have you ever tried talking to it? Maybe... who knows?

Posted by: ovisebdan at September 8, 2008 12:35 PM


Posted by: The Ultimate Cloud Cult Fan at September 8, 2008 8:02 PM

meow meow meow tree brains meow reminding me of henrietta pussycat meow.

Posted by: Jim A at September 9, 2008 11:45 AM

hey Steve!

Happy brain growing! I'm thinking maybe this year you could enjoy it with some fava beans and a nice chianti. Also, maybe the Mrs. will be brave enough to try your delcious experiment in nature!!

We love you treebrain!!!!

Posted by: joebecca at September 9, 2008 3:31 PM

I vote Dolores for a name. I mean, it's only a matter of time before she catches on and pickes that thing too. I can see it now "Dolores Brand Picked Tree Brains".

Posted by: Dana at September 9, 2008 9:42 PM

O.o Bot much?

Posted by: Brittany at September 10, 2008 11:47 AM

wow the gif really helps. i almost missed it.

Posted by: niketa at September 10, 2008 6:04 PM

So when will you be eating it this year?

Posted by: Rykan at September 11, 2008 5:07 AM