September 11, 2008
A Brain is a Terrible Thing to Waste
It is a joy to watch our little brain grow and yet I'm faced with a common dilemma among those in charge of a little one -- wanting to eat it.
Obviously it would be wrong to destroy the entire tree brain. What I needed to do was perform a small, precise fungal lobotomy.
I believe it was a young Joey Ramone (or as you probably know him better, Jeffrey Ross Hyman) who penned the artful lyrics: "Guess I'm gonna have to tell 'em, that I have no cerebellum."
Eating the tree brain is nothing new. You can read more about that experience right here. (And as I've said before, DO NOT try eating any weird things you randomly find growing on trees. You'll die, and I like having readers.)
I don't think anyone will realize the back of her head is missing. It's hardly noticeable.
I also received this email from Katie:
The tree brain TOTALLY looks like Pac-Man. That's awesome. Here's a picture for reference:
Love your site.
Thanks, Katie. And it may feel insincere since you said it first, but the site loves you, too. (And nice touch replacing the pellet with the quarter.)
Sneeze peeps kick ass.
Click here for The Sneeze Home Page!
Posted by Steven | Archive
I'm a longtime Sneeze reader, but I don't kick near as much ass as Katie.
Katie, if you're reading this, is there any chance I can send you a picture and you can put me into Dig Dug? It's a long-held dream.
Whooo hooo second to comment!
Congratulations on having the pleasure of devouring the tree brain for a second time steve-o! Although if I were you, I probably would've spared no mercy and hacked the entire brain to intensely orange pieces. Perhaps you could can the remaining somehow and auction it off to us salivating sneeze readers? I would love to taste some genuine in-front-of-steve's-house tree brain someday...
OMG you di'in! LOL! Yey! *claps morbidly at the lobotomy*
But... it was looking like a lady's no-no part before you mutilated it. If you tilt your head to the right, it looks like what a friend of mine so uncouthly described as "meat curtains".
Katie and The Sneeze, would you ever consider having a 3-way with me?
I love The Sneeze too, and I think I could love you too Katie, especially if it means a 3-way involving The Sneeze. Just give me a call and let me know. Thants.
Haha, Dan. I don't know how good my photoshopping skillz are, but I'd always be willing to help fulfill the dreams of a fellow Sneeze fan.
And Suzi... I didn't see it until you said it, but now I can't get that image out of my head. XD
Brad, I'd have to ask my boyfriend on that, but I agree that any sort of three-way involving the Sneeze would be quite rad.
I must have been living in a cave...."meat curtains"?
Another thing I can thank The Sneeze peeps for teaching me!
this must be the tree brain with the most dirty-minded blueprints...is it trying to send a message with its patterns throughout its growth?
I am ruined...
I no longer see tree brain, I just see labia.
It's hard not to wonder what might be revealed if the brain were scanned:
What emotions does it possess? What strange truths does it feel coursing through its itness?
Jamie Oliver used some tree brain in one episode of his current show. Naturally he didn't call it "tree brain" because Jamie Oliver isn't nearly that cool.
Steve, you forgot to mention if it was as good as last time.
Um, so did you eat it?? Details man, details.
I wish I could bottle the feeling I get whenever my Google Reader shows me an "Sneeze" update...If I could, I would be on that stuff all the time...I would give up the acid, pot, whiskey, Scotch, Beer, and Vodka that currently help me get through the day.
It looks a little like Audrey II from Little Shop of Horrors!
Wac a wac a wac a wac a wac a wac a wac a wac a wac....etc....
Eating a portion of the brain while the specimen is still alive?! You, Steve, are the Hannibal Lector of the botany world.
It actually looks like a graboid from the film Tremors...
what do you wash that slider down with man?
Well I have heard that the fungus you see is just the 'fruit' of the real fungus lying deep beneath the surface of the tree. And of course the purpose of a fruit is to deliver seeds ..... and as this doesn't have seeds you can see and spit somewhere it makes me wonder where they go.
I wonder if they osmose into your body. Then take you over.
Oh well too late to panic now, just relax and be ready to do your master's bidding.
Hmmm...perhaps if those unseeable seeds do osmose into a person's body we could learn to control said person through telepathic signals sent by the "Mother" Tree Brain.........and now that she has been lobotomized................muah hahahha
And all this time I thought Pac-Man looked like something else. I've been living a lie.
It was very good, but not as amazingly delicious as last year. It didn't have that lemony twang this year -- but still excellent.
I've never eaten tree brain but I've heard the growing edge is better than the tougher middle part. When it gets old it's incredibly tough and woody. Maybe this one is still pretty young?
If so, shame on you for vivisecting youth!
Someday, I will move to LA in hopes of having my very own tree that annually grows brains.
If not I might have to eat my kids.
It looks like a hand+forearm is inside an alligators mouth. I say alligator because they have more rounded snouts than crocodiles. This is before the lobotomy
Steve! I sent you an email that I thought you may find interesting regarding our old pal blowjo b. hobo! Did you get that, by chance?
Love the site! Too bad the tree-brain wasn't as delicious as last year. Perhaps you should water the tree more? Fungus loves moisture!
Oooh! Great science experiment! Steve - you should see if you can influence the taste of next year's tree brain by planting garlic around the tree or watering the tree with whiskey. Too bad the brain only arrives once a year. Damn science takes too long. I want answers now!
I fully endorse the tasty experiments as defined by Snidely in the previous post.
Jamie at home has an episode entitled "Mushrooms" where he goes and cooks up a tree brain. It looks delicious!
Eat away my good man... everyone else is doing it.
Where's my lemony twang, bitch!?!
Hmm....lemony chicken tasting fungus....I would recommend a nice witbier or wheat beer to pair with that!
Maybe the tree brain becomes less tasty each year it is ruthlessly consumed?
If we extrapolate back to the year of the stolen tree brain, imagine how good that one must have been! mmmmmmmmmmmmm..........lemony chicken meat curtains from heaven......
I can't stop reading about the tree brain, even tho it makes me feel sick to look at it. I have a fear of mold and unexpected things growing where they shouldn't. This tree brain of yours qualifies as both. Yet, I'm weirdly fascinated. Despite the nightmares.
Maybe you should share the brain with the family? They might enjoy it. You could make shish kabobs with chicken, steak, shrimp, and peppers! That sounds good huh?
"yet I'm faced with a common dilemma among those in charge of a little one -- wanting to eat it."
Does it mean your youngins wanted to eat it - or you wanted to devour them? If the former, did they enjoy the taste of braaaaiinnnnsszzz?
I just voted for your excellent blog for the Bloggers Choice Awards.
Could you please return the favor at:
I'm totally salivating. I wonder if tree brain pizza would be good?...