July 2008 Archives

Peace Out, Dirt!

When I'm sticky and smelly and need to get clean, only 2 things come to mind: honey and rancid milk.

Sure they work great, but who has the time?

We all do, Paco. Thanks to Dial Yogurt Vanilla Honey Hand Wash.

Sadly Dial has no current plans for a fruit-on-the-bottom yogurt soap. (But my fingers are still crossed for Dial Shampoo with Cottage Cheese and Taffy in late 2008.)

The Lyrical Gangsta

A few weeks ago my 8-year-old mentioned he was thinking about writing a song called "Forever To Tell."

I thought that was a pretty cool title, so I encouraged him to go write it. He wandered off and came back with his green notebook.

I was a virgin until I was 19. If he keeps writing stuff like this, he's going to get laid by the time he's 10.

Forever To Tell

I had forever to tell about a dream
that I was lost in a world
from another world

I had no sense of direction
for I was lost without you
I had forever to tell about my hopes and thoughts
floating around in my head
but I was too late without you

I had forever to tell you about myself
But then I reach deep inside
and discover who I really am

Then again, I had forever to tell you about me
'Cause I know now (know now)
'Cause I know now.

(A better scan of the notebook is here.)

Atwitter at The Con

Hey guys, I'm in my car right this second driving to Comic Con in San Diego. I'm on the phone with my wife and she's typing this. Say hi, sweetie. ("Hi!")

I think I'm going to attempt to Twitter live while I'm there. You can follow it at http://twitter.com/thesneeze

I have very little experience with Twitter, so this may be a disaster. I'm gonna hang up now before I get killed.

Do you want to say goodbye, sweetie? ("Sure. Bye! I love you.") Are you talking to me or them? ("You. And them. I gotta feed the kids. Bye.")


I'm Gonna Help You Drink It All Night Long

I've been struggling to find just the right bronze statue for my garden.

It had to be about 4 feet tall. And elegant, yet rapey.

Luckily, Stephanie found this at overstock.com and saved the day.

The Fantastic Four

Can A Brady Get Some Help?

image pilfered from retrocrush

My friend, Susan, is competing in a reality show right at this very moment. You might know her a better as Cindy Brady.

In the show's current challenge, her team needs to get the most views for their YouTube video.

All you need to do is click here to check it out. It's a fun little video called "Kittens in Peril."

When that stupid Buddy Hinton made fun of Cindy's lisp, Peter punched him in the face and saved the day. Now it's your turn to lend her a hand. The deadline is Sunday morning. Let's send her a little Sneezy internet love. Thanks, guys!

Unfinished Business

Just taking a look at some of the items that were in the works before the break...

I talked to Henrik over at VanTiki today regarding the Tree Brain tiki mug and he is still extremely excited about it. So that will be going full steam ahead and I have a ton of cool sketches from him on it already. If you haven't seen his stuff, go check it out. He's great.

And I'm happy to report that everyone's favorite homeless whale, Blowjo B. Hobo, will still be very much in the works thanks to some help from my awesome internet pal -- the mighty Natalie Dee.

(I also need to add that I'm fairly overwhelmed by all the comments on the last post. It is truly appreciated it. As always, you guys are the best.)

Coming Back


I'd like to start typing words here again. Hopefully there are still some people left who'd like to read them.

I wish I had a grand plan to come back with a big entertaining bang, but I don't. So I guess the plan is to just ease into it and see what happens.

But speaking of comebacks, I need to quickly tell you that one of my favorite things in the world is the combination of anger and lack of vocabulary that my 4-year-old currently possesses.

When he gets pissed he just doesn't have the words available to properly vent that steam. So what we're treated to are some of the greatest/worst comebacks I've ever heard.

Among the best, being the following exchange:

Me: C'mon, it's time to get dressed.


Good one. I really felt the burn there.

(The comment board is now closed. Thanks, guys.)


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This page is an archive of entries from July 2008 listed from newest to oldest.

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