August 19, 2007

Look Ma, No Han!

How do you secure your nerd-cred for eternity?

By acquiring a life-size replica of Han Solo in Carbonite, having Han's face removed, and replacing it with your own.

At least that's how you do it if you're my friend, Rob.

(In case you're not familiar with Carbonite, in The Empire Strikes Back it's the substance Han Solo was frozen in until he was rescued by Luke and Leia.)

Rob explains how this all came to be...

Hello, nerds.

Yes, that is me, finally fulfilling a mother's dream by being encased in Carbonite. It is cold, it is hot, and worst of all, it is being loaded onto Boba Fett's ship, so stop reading this and help me!

Actually, this is a full-sized replica of the famous "Han Solo" in Carbonite. It is made from fiberglass, and the short story is that a friend who is a special effects guy owned the piece, which was a direct casting off the original prop. He was moving, (aka getting married and yelled at) and asked me if I wanted it. I screamed a huge lispy "Yes!", and picked it up, but knew I wanted to do something cool with it. So I called my other nerdy special effects pals, and they offered to replace Harrison Ford's face with mine. I was so tired of hearing this offer in my daily life, but decided to finally consider it, so off it went.

KNB Effects in the valley took an algae mold of my entire head, then cut off Han Solo's, and replaced it with mine. They even added the frozen saliva that rushed out when Han got frozen.

The one thing I didn't know until later was that my friend Dana had been holding his bare ass and balls directly in front of my algae covered face while my head was encased. Talk about a missed opportunity.

Anyhoo, the full size me in Carbonite now resides in my garage, where it has successfully scared off many ladies, and one creepy dude who keeps coming by wearing some stained "Punch it, Chewy" underpants.



Here's the far less charming Han Solo version, for comparison. You can take a closer look at Rob in Carbonite, right here.

Thanks, Rob!

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