May 19, 2007


As if AIDS and tsunamis weren't enough, along comes this bottle of iced tea.

From the Ito En company, the label features one of their Haiku award winners:

Where's the good ol' haiku 5-7-5 syllable structure? This one is 4-5-5.

According to their website, this is the "New-Style Haiku" where you don't have to bother with the whole 5-7-5 thing or even try to make it 17 syllables. They say this is to encourage as much participation as possible. It encouraged Charles Rodning to save 3 whole syllables, apparently securing his title as the bad-boy of iced tea poetry.

Chuck, I'm sure you're a nice guy, but I reject your new-style haiku. (And since I'm a nice guy too, I still give you the award for Best Brief Sentence About a Teapot.)

My buddy, Steve, wrote an old-style haiku to express his feelings about the new-style haiku:

New Haiku is bad
Changing things can make them worse
Like Tara Reid's boobs

That's some good haikuing.

Since anyone can now change the rules of anything, I've made a few official changes of my own:

The New-Style Working Out is scratching myself.

The New-Style Jessica Alba has a crush on me.

The New-Style Paying Taxes is having a little pudding.

The New New-Style Haiku is the old haiku.

And the New-Style Really Big Penis is 4 inches. (That's so when Alba makes her move, she won't be disappointed. But it doesn't really matter, because the New-Style Disappointed is horny, naked and psyched.)

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Posted by Steven | Archive