April 5, 2007

Baked Goods Metaphor Help Needed

As you probably heard, the director of "A Christmas Story" and "Porky's" passed away. I love "A Christmas Story" deeply, so this was sad news.

I had read this quote about the man:

Scott Schwartz, who played Flick in "A Christmas Story" and kept in touch with Clark, called Clark one of the "nicest, sweetest guys that you'd ever want to come in contact with."

"It's a tragic day for all of us who knew and loved Bob Clark," Schwartz said. "Bob was a fun-loving, jelly-roll kind of guy who will be sorely missed."

This is all terribly sad, but can anyone tell me what a "jelly-roll kind of guy" means? Does it mean he's a regular guy? A sweet, fat guy? Maybe I'M a jelly-roll kind of guy? I've never heard that expression before and I'm honestly curious. I'm assuming it's a good thing.

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(For the record, I'm a "bacon, boobies and robots" kind of guy. Feel free to say that when I'm gone.)

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Posted by Steven | Archive

I think it's a British term for a guy with a big red circular birthmark in the center of his abdomen who, despite this rather disturbing abnormality, is still able to retain a relatively positive outlook on life. I've also heard through my vast Hollywood connections that Burl Ives was 'Jelly-Roll' kind of guy also as well as Ed Asner and, believe it or not, that guy that played Bosley in Charlie's Angels. It's more common than you'd think.

Posted by: Kelly at April 5, 2007 10:21 AM

I think it means he was delicious and filled with sweet gooey stuff. Frankly, I suspect Schwartz might be a cannibal.

Posted by: Pete at April 5, 2007 10:22 AM

This might be too soon, but maybe Bob Clark ALWAYS had a jelly roll in his pocket for young Scott Schwarz (aka Flick).

Posted by: Jordan at April 5, 2007 10:24 AM

Scott Schwartz was also in "The Toy" so I wonder if he described Jackie Gleason and Richard Pryor the same way? Scott also did some work in adult films so he probably is an authority on creamy fillings so if he cally someone a Jelly Roll I accept it. The lesson here: Don't let Scott Schwartz deliver my eulogy.

RIP - Bob Clarke you brought me many laughs, you ol' jelly roll.

Posted by: will at April 5, 2007 10:27 AM

What we're all forgetting is that Scott Schwartz worked (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0777432/) in the porn industry, so maybe it's some kind of porn euphemism or something. (Checks UrbanDictionary.Com)...Ahh...here we are:

jelly roll
1. Female genitalia.

So, I guess maybe he meant Bob Clark was a big pussy or something.

Posted by: Rifleman at April 5, 2007 10:30 AM

It just means he was into early 20's jazz

Posted by: todd at April 5, 2007 10:31 AM

Maybe he just really REALLY liked Jelly Rolls.

Posted by: Kane at April 5, 2007 10:34 AM

PRAISE ALLAH!!!!!!1111

Posted by: Muhammed at April 5, 2007 10:42 AM

If positive, Steve you are definitely a Jelly-Roll kind of guy.

I myself would put myself on the status of "A bacon "kind of guy.

Posted by: Alex at April 5, 2007 10:48 AM


" In the African language Mandingo, jeli is a minstrel who gains popularity with women through skill with words and music. In the English creole of the Caribbean, jelly refers to the meat of the coconut when it is still at a white, viscous stage, and in a form closely resembling semen. In English, jelly and jelly roll are both items of food.

On the street, jelly roll had many associated meanings, from the respectable 'lover, or spouse', to the Harlem slang of the 1930s, 'a term for the vagina'."

So there you have it, Jimmy-Jimmy.

Posted by: j2 at April 5, 2007 10:52 AM

I, however, am not a jelly roll kind of guy. Though I do have a vagina, which I have just learned is one of the meanings of "jelly roll"... oh I'm so confused.

Posted by: CanDea at April 5, 2007 10:56 AM

I think it means he liked jelly rolls in life. If that is the case then I am, in fact, a jelly roll kind of girl.

We should ask Flick if jelly rolls were always on hand backstage during filming.

Posted by: Criscipline at April 5, 2007 11:02 AM

Dude, you're a "don't eat that!" kind of guy.

Posted by: Keith at April 5, 2007 11:11 AM

Even if jelly-roll was a reference to lady parts and not bakery desserts, I don't think it can be construed as an insult or jab. See, its just like when Steve says he's a "boobies kind of guy", we don't assume he means he HAS boobies, we know that he LIKES boobies. So obviously when some one is a jelly-roll kinda guy, always on the lookout for fun, it means that he likes lady parts. Always ready for that next sweet whiff of the poon-berry (which, I believe, is what jelly-rolls are made of) to be recorded in the annals of man-history with the likes of Arrol Flynn and Wilt Chamberlain.

Posted by: jeadly at April 5, 2007 11:15 AM

Scott Schwartz wasn't the greatest actor, so frankly I believe this to be another blatantly horrid act. Bob Clark, God rest his soul, lead Scott into the life he now leads. A life of people incessantly identifing him as Flick or that dumb kid in "A Christmas Story" that stuck his tongue to the flag pole. I think he's got it out for good ol' Bob and now when trying to say something nice, he can't even come up with a real term of endearment.

Trying to improv is obviously not his bag. Jelly-roll kind of guy? Uh, I think not.

Posted by: Kcilf at April 5, 2007 11:20 AM

To be honest I think that he was hungry at the time and had nothing else on his mind besides a big ol' jelly-roll.. And I mean, who can blame him?

Posted by: acarroll at April 5, 2007 11:25 AM

I have eaten jelly rolls as a small lad and if I recall I enjoyed them, they were good. From this I deduce that Bob Clark was good as perceived by a child.

Or then again maybe it does have something to do with Coochie.


Posted by: moorfin at April 5, 2007 11:30 AM

jelly-roll. Jelly Roll! Jelly-roll? I think this is the kind of thing you come up with if you are asked to say something about someone and you can't really think of anything that you would want to say in front of a bunch of his freinds, fans, and family. Think,"nice guy." Bland, yeah? Now think,"kind of a dick." Needlessly offensive, not nice to say in front of his family (even if they agree with you), and likely to get your ass-hole turned into a nice choker. So, jelly-roll.

Posted by: joe at April 5, 2007 11:51 AM

My first take, before reading the comments, was that a jelly roll is a 'common' or regular kind of pastry, not a fancy French foo-foo confection.

So that would make him a regular guy that anyone would like, rather than someone aloof.

Posted by: Garrick at April 5, 2007 11:52 AM

I'd like to think it a reference to Santa Claus (whose belly shook like jelly) since he did Christmas Story but I rather think it's a sexual reference like in Jelly Roll Morton.

See: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jelly_roll_%28slang%29

It looks like he was calling him a dick.

Posted by: Jo at April 5, 2007 11:57 AM

You're not ready for this jelly.

Posted by: MiZ_Cellaneous at April 5, 2007 12:03 PM

If going by these comments.. I'm a pancake kind of guy. mmmm... Pancakes..

Posted by: Khabi at April 5, 2007 12:11 PM

I'm british and I've never heard it either, to put the rumor its to do with US to bed.

Posted by: Ali at April 5, 2007 12:14 PM

I would have to say he meant that Bob was about 10" long, white and firm on the outside and filled with gooey stuff on the inside.

I happen to be a Red Snapper kinda guy.

RIP Bob!

Posted by: Nardbagman at April 5, 2007 12:26 PM

Deck the ralls riff raws of wowry

Fa Rah Rah Rah Rah...Rah ...Rah Rah Rah Rah.

Best line in "The Christmas Story".

As for jelly roll........I think it simply means he was fat and sassy.

Posted by: T-Meister at April 5, 2007 12:34 PM

The Jelly-Roll was also a dance, I think. It probably means that he broke out into spontaneous jiggling and gyration that resulted in random folks waking up hungover in a dumpster, covered in powdered sugar.

Posted by: Excant at April 5, 2007 12:39 PM

I think it means he liked common, regular female genitalia, not froo-froo female genitalia. If he liked froo-froo female genitalia, than Flick the porn star would have said he was a crumpets kind of guy. Duh!

Posted by: Enron at April 5, 2007 12:40 PM

Back in the mists of the ancient world - where great beasts lumbered across cracked, dusty plains - where the seas writhed with every form of tentacled horror - Nature produced a creature so bizarre, so lacking in self-preservation, that only tales of it exist today.

It was serpentine, but not a serpent. It possessed no physiological symmetry. It had no mode of locomotion. Indeed, were it not for its ability to scream in terror whenever threatened, it could almost be regarded some form of vegetation.

The natives called it a ch'lirul.

Its flesh was warm and tender, its blood sweet and syrupy. And every creature that encountered it found it to be the perfect form of sustenance.

It would exist today if not for a curious difficulty in its reproduction, depending on fairies for transport of its genome. As industrialization, and the necessary rationalization, encroached on the ch'lirul's territory, fairies vanished.

This has led to a curious phrase - "If you love ch'lirul, clap your hands" - intended to resurrect the fallen fae to assist the creature in its reproduction.

Centuries later, all that remains of the ch'lirul is a pale shadow, a culinary attempt to capture the sweetness and warmth of days gone by.

Weep for the ch'lirul. Weep for its passing.

Posted by: Francis at April 5, 2007 12:45 PM

in the tradition of insulting racial subgroups by likening them to food (oreo, twinkie, apple...), i can only surmise that dear departed bob was of asian heritage, but became treasonously enamoured of native american culture, hence a jelly roll. i declare this subtle epithet both excellent and cunning!

how come the only time the comment boards are open is when it's something to do with food? pickles!

Posted by: snickersnee at April 5, 2007 12:48 PM

Wasn't the jelly roll a popular dance in the 20th Century?

In which case I am a mashed potato kind of guy, and the food euphemisms roll on!! So do these awful puns!! I can't seem to stop!!

Posted by: steven at April 5, 2007 12:59 PM

I think it means he was gay. If someone were to call me a "jelly-roll kind of guy", I think I'd punch 'em.

Posted by: ovisebdan at April 5, 2007 1:05 PM

In June of '63, President Kennedy asserted to a crowd in Germany "Ich bin ein Berliner." Even though it meant "I am a jelly donut," they all went wild. So ask a German... or a Kennedy.

Posted by: Dave at April 5, 2007 1:06 PM

I think he meant that he was a multi-wrapped sweet guy.
By "wrapped" I mean condoms.
By "sweet" i mean red and gelatinous.

Sorry, Easter time makes me maniacal.

Posted by: Bree Hicks at April 5, 2007 1:29 PM

Maybe Shwartz meant to say he's a "Tootsee Roll" kind of guy, referring to the '94 song by the 69 Boyz. You know...
"Cotton candy, sweet to go, let me see that tootsee roll
To the left, to the left, to the right, to the right..."

Just a thought...

Posted by: Matt at April 5, 2007 1:43 PM

I heart female genetalia.

Posted by: bigD at April 5, 2007 1:43 PM

he has a delicious jelly flavored center?

Posted by: mac at April 5, 2007 1:47 PM

It might be a sort of continuum, with jelly roll up near the top along with chocolate eclair and Sachertorte, then coming pan dulce, brioche, croissant, beaten biscuit, Kaiser roll, and pumpernickel, and ending up in the realm of melba toast, zwieback, and hardtack.

Or it could just mean that he was attractive when sliced crosswise. You can't say that about just anybody.

Posted by: RichM at April 5, 2007 1:51 PM

Maybe it's a bastardized reference to "The Night Before Christmas".....and he shook when he laughed like a roll full of jelly. So he's fat and jolly?

I once had a professor whose large nose was often referred to as a "jelly roll nose."

Posted by: Khuber at April 5, 2007 1:53 PM

It means he liked to roll around in a big vat of KY while eating heaping spoonfuls of mayonnaise and singing Judy Garland songs at the top of his lungs.

Or not.

I don't know, really.

Posted by: Gunther at April 5, 2007 2:24 PM

I think it means that he is so fat that his whole stomach shakes when he laughs - fat and jolly. You know, just like in the lyrics for Crazy Little Thing Called Love - "It shakes all over like a jelly roll".

Posted by: Johnny John Mondegreen at April 5, 2007 2:47 PM

it could mean that he was a bouncy kinda guy who was always willing to share a nice-sized chunk of himself. a fruity, juicy, jelly-licious chunk of himself. strange way to describe a dead guy.

Posted by: mariposa at April 5, 2007 3:30 PM

Um... in early 20th century America, among black jazz musicians, "jelly roll" was used as a euphemism for a certain, uh, female body part. I hope that's not what... okaywaitnevermind.

Posted by: smarty pants at April 5, 2007 3:56 PM

I have never heard the term jelly roll used as a euphamism for anything. We'll there is a song "[hanging/swinging?] on a night train [chewing/sucking?] on a jelly roll" that my friend used to sing, but I don't know what that means either.
In this case I assume from the context of the first sentence in the quote .."one of the nicest sweetest guys" that is a pretty obvious connection to the metaphor in question, but the quote goes on ..."that you'd ever want to come in contact with." A strange caveat. As if had Bob been any nicer and/or sweeter he might have been called 'a giant tub of molassas with dead rodents in the bottom kind of guy.'

Posted by: Pete at April 5, 2007 4:00 PM

a diabetic coma inducing kind of guy

Posted by: pete at April 5, 2007 4:07 PM

a he gets all over your hands, won't wash out and you have to re-upholster your sofa kind of guy.

But he didn't he stopped short at the perfectly edible jelly roll, so I assume that now that he is gone from this earth, I missed out on decent human being, were I a canibal.

Posted by: pete at April 5, 2007 4:14 PM

I think ole Scott was trying to make a Santa reference (big ole belly like a bowl full of jelly), but was so stoned that it came out "jelly roll type of guy".

That happened to me once.

Posted by: alter_ego at April 5, 2007 4:31 PM

And why did I use "ole" twice in that comment?

Posted by: alter_ego at April 5, 2007 4:32 PM

I believe it is a take on Martian canabalism from the book "Stranger in a Strange Land" but what do I know.

Posted by: Chris at April 5, 2007 4:40 PM

Does anyone know the Van Morrison song "And it stoned me"

"And it stoned me to my soul
Stoned me just like jelly roll, and it stoned me
And it stoned me to my soul
Stoned me just like goin' home, and it stoned me"

Maybe the guy smoked a lot of pot, or made people feel like they smoked a lot of pot.

Most likely, he was just fat and likable.

Posted by: Amariah at April 5, 2007 5:00 PM

I'm pretty sure it just means that he was a real sincere guy. Full of googey goodness :D
or Bob Schwartz was hungry when he made that comment
OR Scott Schwartz had a jelly-roll fetish and this is some inside joke :P

Posted by: Princess Alex at April 5, 2007 5:10 PM

i'm a dumbass I meant to say Bob Clark had a jelly-roll fetish sheesh

Posted by: Princess Alex at April 5, 2007 5:15 PM

now im all hungry. i think im a bacon, sausage, aliens kind of girl. yes i know sausage can be taken either way. it still stands

Posted by: tinkerbella at April 5, 2007 5:52 PM

I read that in the LA Times too. I always considered cheese danishes more fun than jelly rolls.

Posted by: Neil at April 5, 2007 5:52 PM

I suppose I took special interest in this query because of my unusual namesake....

Ok...I did a little research on Urban Dictionary, and here's a breakdown on the possible definitions of "Jelly Roll":

- female genitalia

- rolls of fat, especially belly fat

- putting a $100 bill around a roll of $1s to make yourself look richer

- a sex act involving felatio and a bloody mouth by means of violence or menstruation

- a flaccid penis

- a breast with an implant in it

- a sex act similar to "tossing salad", only with jelly involved

- a used tampon

Gleen from these definitions what you will. None of them seem to be very complimentary, though....

Posted by: Sarah Lee at April 5, 2007 6:02 PM

On a competely unrelated note:

"Scott Schwartz ... called Clark one of the 'nicest, sweetest guys that you'd ever want to come in contact with.' "

Does that mean you wouldn't want to come into contact with some nicer than him?

What would happen if you did??

My guess is diabetes.

Posted by: Sarah Lee at April 5, 2007 6:10 PM

i'm a lemon filled dounut kind of gril!

Posted by: kitkat at April 5, 2007 6:43 PM

Well I searched "jelly-roll kind of guy" on google and got not results, so it isnt all that commonly used. if google cant find it, it doesnt exist.

Posted by: Tyler at April 5, 2007 7:03 PM

Now that he has made this scandalous comment, will Scott Schwartz be announcing his stay at Promises in the next few days?

Posted by: Karen at April 5, 2007 7:40 PM

i happen to think jelly rolls are kinda good. and that picture you put up looks extra yummy

Posted by: jen at April 5, 2007 9:46 PM

Well, one of the lines in Journey's "Homemade Love" is "I need a jelly-roll sweetie" and then it goes on and on about "Hot jelly-roll love" in the chorus, so... I really have no idea. I doubt Steve Perry's a chubby-chaser, but then again I don't know the guy.

Posted by: TE-Ryan at April 5, 2007 11:08 PM

To me it sounds like a nice way of saying a guy who has a wide girth due to one too many jelly-rolls.

Posted by: Gidget at April 5, 2007 11:58 PM

he probably meant 'jovial'. Really. But with the press in his face... man, you can't take anything back. Or, man...the dude loves donuts. If I loved a particular donut, I'd definitely describe my significant other as a "blueberry fritter". mmm, she's the best.

Posted by: JTR at April 6, 2007 12:01 AM

I think it's obvious. He must have been a racially confused oblong foodstuff who was frequently seen around bakeries.

Posted by: Alan the Great at April 6, 2007 12:09 AM

This is pretty puzzling...
But I guess that this expression is not Passover-Kosher.... Perhaps it means he's a jelly-snakes-filled-muffin?
GOD that sounds good..............

Posted by: Yanay at April 6, 2007 12:31 AM

I agree with Garrik up there. My impression was also that it just meant "regular, approachable, and friendly" - maybe similar in the way we would say "a meat and potatoes kind of guy".

So maybe it just means he was sweet, regular, face-value kinda guy. Nothing fancy. =D

Posted by: Jade at April 6, 2007 1:01 AM

It either means he was jolly or Flick thought he was tasty. I hope it is the former.

Posted by: Strode at April 6, 2007 5:07 AM

It means he had a belly similar to Santa, but a little spongier. Santa's belly is like a bowl full of jelly. Clark had one like a roll full of jelly.

So I guess he was Santa-esque, but a bit less floppy about it.

Posted by: Beerbarian at April 6, 2007 5:30 AM

I think it means he was a ...


you know. A real nice guy.

I'm a bacon wallet kind of guy.

Posted by: McStratman at April 6, 2007 5:30 AM

It means he was delicious. All the time.

Posted by: Ryan at April 6, 2007 6:53 AM

I'd say he was probably bland and slightly yellowed on the outside, with a bit of color and sweetness mixed in under the surface.

Posted by: eviltwin at April 6, 2007 6:54 AM