November 27, 2006

Things I Would Say If I Couldn't Find My Piccolo

"Has anyone seen my piccolo?"

"Looks like a tiny flute...?"

"Small... silver... not at all effeminate... No?"

"Dammit! Where the hell is my piccolo?!!"

"All right, where was I the last time I was playing my piccolo? Think, think..."

"Seriously. If you're done giggling, can you help me find my piccolo?"

"PICCOLO, WHERE ARE YOUUUU??! No, not you Piccolo the Dog! You go outside and play. I'm busy!"

"How's a guy supposed to make shrill, high-pitched whistle sounds without his damn piccolo?!!!"

"C'mon Steve, think, if you were a wee woodwind instrument, where would you be?!"

"YES!!! MY PICCOLO!!! Thank God! Oh. That's just my piccolo-shaped cheese-grater. Shit!"

"Son of a bitch!!!"

"Note to self: Team up with LoJack to create a Piccolo Recovery System. Possible name: "Picco-Lojack". What am I doing?!! I'm wasting precious time!!!"

"This is a nightmare."

"Mother, does this look like a piccolo to you?! THIS IS A FIFE!!! Now keep looking!"

I don't really have a piccolo.

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Posted by Steven | Archive