August 7, 2006

Long-Distance Love Affair

My kids have really gotten into The Incredibles lately. So I feel they're the ones responsible for me thinking about giving it to Elastigirl.

I don't really think she's that hot, but I can't help but be intrigued by any woman who can unzip my pants with her nipples.

Before she and I got down to serious business, I'd like to think she'd indulge my request to fashion a lengthy Slip-'N-Slide out of her Elasti-Boobies. Thanks to me, sliding across a vast expanse of tit may finally be accepted as a legitimate form of foreplay. (Fingers-crossed!)

She and I would then commence the sex act with me in a completely different room-- thanks in-part to her fantastical stretchy hoo-hah.

Later, I might find myself drifting off to sleep nestled in the warm shelter of what can only be described as an ass-hammock. (I fully expect her bottom to be at least as comfy as a pillow-top mattress. Possibly memory-foam.)

Safe sex is important, even in the world of pretend human/animated superhero relations. Elastigirl and I are both married and have kids, so the last thing we need is her getting pregnant. Luckily, I'd have the only woman on the side capable of making her own condoms.

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Posted by Steven | Archive