April 5, 2006

God O'Clock

My friend, Conrad, and I got to talking about weird clocks and he has a classic.

This is the "God Bless My Family" clock. It features two little kids praying. Their prayers can be heard at bedtime or as an alarm in the morning to start your day. Or, it seems, whenever the clock randomly decides to start talking in the middle of the night, which has been my own disturbing experience with it.

The highlight of the clock is the boy's prayer. His take on the word "evil" in the phrase "but deliver us from evil" sounds like it's out of a horror movie. (I won't even get into the fact that he says "and BLEED us not into temptation" instead of "lead us.")

Here's his entire prayer...

Here's the isolated section at the end. Picture me being woken up in the middle of the night to this kid creeping my ass out.

I would take the batteries out, but you know it'll just keep talking anyway.

The good news is, I do believe this clock may possess some kind of mystical powers to make wishes come true. I haven't tried it first hand, but if the boy is praying for his little friend to not be wearing any underwear, it totally works.

*small plastic hooeys have been pixelated to protect the innocent.

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Posted by Steven | Archive