January 23, 2005

The Sneeze Mailbag

By the powers vested in me as half a zine, I bring you The Sneeze Mailbag. Our first letter comes from Felix....

Steve,

Today I found out something that, probably you, and apparently everybody else already knows... womens shirts button from the opposite direction! Why? and more important, how have I lived 39 years and never once have heard of this before? Where have I been? I like to think of myself as very well read, up on current events, extensive knowledge of trivial things, general knowledge of many other things.....but if somehow I missed this bit of strange fashion wierdness, what else don't I know? It's scary Steve!

Felix

Mr. McFeelix,

I don't know how common or not that tidbit is, but here's what I think is probably going on.

You're a cross-dresser and this is your way of trying to throw me off the scent. I didn't fall for your clever ruse, but you really need to stop worrying. If you like wearing blouses, it's fine by us. Don't sweat it!

--Steve

Steve,

Did you arrive to a consensus about the theme song for Dave Attell's "Insomniac"? My burning curiosity needs to know. Or maybe needs an antibiotic.

Bren

Brenjamin,

No, sadly we did not reach a consensus on what the word means. (The song has a line that goes "Flos, and hos, and one-eyed pimps" and I was trying to find out exactly what they meant by Flo.) I do know it's either a waitress or a really old whore.

Coincidentally, I placed an order with both of those last night.

(If you're my wife and you're reading this, that was just a little joke, Sweetie. I would never cheat on you. You know that!)

(But if you're not my wife... seriously, I really nailed that old skank good. You would have been proud of me.)

--Steve

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