I just had some Fun Dip for the first time in years. That's the candy where you dip the stick in the flavored sugar.

I don't know if it was while I was licking the stick, or when I was repeatedly sticking it in and out of the pouch, but suddenly it all felt oddly sexual.

Even the name is a pretty good euphemism. "Tonight I'm gonna give my girlfriend the Fun Dip!"

Other "sexual" candies include:

My Fun Dippin' did not end well, however. I was happily going at it until the top of my stick just broke off, long before the pouch was finished. Hmm... why does that sound familiar? Oh well, I dunno!

THE QUOTABLE SNEEZE

"Oh God. I have to put the camera down. I feel dirty now."
-- My wife realizing I intended to animate the Fun Dip pictures I just asked her to take