April 1, 2005
industrial light & sweet
This "Java the Truck" coffee-mobile bummed out my friend Steve. He says as far as Star Wars themes go, "Truck" is too far of a stretch from "Jabba the Hutt" for this name to be good. He'd much prefer it to not be on wheels and go by the name "Java the Hut."
This got us on a minor Star Wars Themed Coffee Shop/Beverage tangent. Steve came up with "Death Starbucks"-- home of the "Latte Saber."
His favorite so far was my suggestion of: "Brewbacca's," where I think you might like to unwind with a refreshing "R2-Dcaf."
I'm not a Star Wars geek - I haven't even seen any of the recent installments, but if you have any Star Wars coffee shop and/or beverages you need to share with the galaxy, the comment board is NOW CLOSED.
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Posted by Steven | Archive
Mocha Jawa, Chai-Tea Station (Tashi Station... power converters?), Princess Leia Cinnamon Rolls (a side dish, comes in pairs), Boba Fett (asian tapioca drink) ...and I'm spent.
Cafe au Lando Calrissian
Grande Moff Mocha Tarkin
I lied. One more... Salacious Crumbcake
Jar Jar of Beans (for take-home coffee beans)
Jawa "play on Java"
Steve, you will make tons of money if you actually open up this shop.
Admiral Snackbar - that kills me. (Might it be spelled Snakbar?) I also salute you for Cafe au Leia. Perfect.
"paul reiser: couplehood" sorbet..
i'm sorry, what was the assignment?
Millenium Falkona Coffee
Green Tea P O
Mocha Jawa should be the "small"...but for the extra-jumbo size, it should be *Mocha Jabba*!
I suppose the coffeeshop could be called "Chewbucks", but that's pushin' it. Oh, wait, isn't that what Starbucks does already with it's prices?
For the kiddies, how about some *Hoth Chocolate*?
Sugar Wookies (hehe cookies)
Cloud City Coffee
Emperor's Dark Side Roast
TonTon Bon Bon (like the Leia buns...)
MORE FOR THE DRINKS MENU:
* Princess Leia Organic Blend * (Organa, get it?)
* Darth Roast *
* Greedo Tea *
* Amidalaretto *
* Creme Wookieé *
* Mos Eis Cream *
* Endoritos *
and my favorite...* Salacious Crumbcake *
I think I want some Hoth Chocolate now...
Oh crap, someone beat me to Salacious Crumbcake...oh well!
For those who don't like freshly-brewed coffee, how about offering Sankanakin?
The tip jar should just say "Greedo".
in the pastry case: Obi-Wan Cannoli.... or Kannoli i suppose
I smell a lawsuit brewing...
Bean Solo (A chocolate-covered bean?)
Unfortunately, if you tried to open this coffee shop up. George Lucas would probably hire an army or storm troopers -erm uh, lawyers, to litigate you into oblivion. Thus blowing up your coffee shop with the light of a 100 suns.
If you open the shop, please make sure your menu reads like the opening credits to the first movie.
I'm still boycotting Star Wars after that stupid Jar-Jar thing I got sucked into a few years ago.
No problem. I'm prepared to defend my coffee shop with a squadron of Chai-Fighters.
(I used to do this with my friends names...I'm a dork)
Name of the place could be:
The Coffchee Station
Or Java's Palace
Or The Death Starbucks
Or Coffee Bay 94
Or A Wretched Hive of Scum and Coffee
Drinks and related:
Qui Gon Stimulant
The Great Sar-latte
um... that's all for now.
"These are not the beans you're looking for."
Uncle Owange Juice
Just to let you know, for whoever suggested them, wookiee cookies already exist. There's a whole cookbook on them and other star wars goodies.
How about Sarlaktose free milk?
You could get gatorade to sponsor since it has endor-phins.
Mos Eis Cream can come in a bowl or a clone.
Here's a few more to sip and/or chew on:
Grand Moff Muffin
I only want some Wookie Cookies if they're made out of real Wookies (with apologies to the Addams family)...
the Obi-wan canoli is superb, Dave.
A funnier spin on the whole wookie thing would
be "Wookies 'n Cream frozen dessert. Sounds kind of disgusting though,eh?
Maybe a single shot of expresso would be a Han Solo. Or not. Uhhhhg. This
has all left me feeling so geeky.
may i respectfully say that this joke has run its course? dragging and analysing a mundane joke beyond its limits has been your (and your readers') forte, and i am always very entertained by it, but this one has gone a little stale. not unlike a degobagel. count it!
What fun is a joke if we can't beat it like a dead bantha for a while?
I'd call the place Chock Full O' Hutts.
I can't believe no one's suggested a Yoda Fountain yet.
(soda...for the not-so-hip)
Owww - Owww... Must stop laughing..hurts...
WHERE CAN I GET THAT MUG?!?
Tom - thanks for using tinyurl -- i usually swap out long URLs using tinyurl because they mess up the formatting on the pemalink page.
Mon Mothma Muffins
General Crix Praline (Madine)
Coffee served in a Dug Mug
A Large Hoth Froth
I'm all out...
Aunt Brew (Beru)
Here goes my shot at locking up the coveted "Geekiest Post" award.
Wedge An-Tea Leaves
And perhaps, if this particular coffee shop serves sandwiches at lunch time, you could stop in and order a nice Bib Fortuna fish sandwich.
(and if they ever get their liquor license you could wash that down with a Qui Gon-Jin & Tonic.)
How bout that Mocha Eisley?
For the meat eaters amongst us:
tastes similar to chicken.
Hungry? Try our:
Damn you, Steve! Now this is all I can think about.
here's three new installments to the saga...
Episode IV - A Brew Hope
Episode V - The Empire Takes Black
Eposide VI - Return of the Chai
> The tip jar should just say "Greedo".
I nominate "Jarbucks".
If you bring a child with you, you might need to ask for a "Bib For-junior"
Alright, so that was a stretch.
How funny is this, the guys at work are listening to the Cavs game while I'm reading this, and in the background I heard the "Star Wars" theme song playing. Talk about syncronicity.
Oh kay, so this is Star related in any case. I always wanted to open up a mall with a Star Trek theme. I think this would be awsome. You could call it The Promenade (because that was the name of the shopping/bar/restaurant area "Deep Space Nine." And all the employees would have to wear costumes and makeup. Paramount could back this whole thing. Like, the bar could be Quark's and you could get served by Ferengi. Mall security would be dressed in the brown Bajoran uniforms (one of them could have Odo's make up). There could also be Guinan's lounge for those who are in to Next Gen. There could even be actors who walked around dressed for the part as Klingons, Bajorans, Cardassians, etc, etc... And the coolest part, you could stop in at Quark's and get a Romulan Ale (which of course would have to be a "Blue Motorcycle" because Romulan Ale is illegal in Federation territory.
Okay, now that I've shown that I'm absolute and complete nerd....
I cracked up at attack of the scones!
how about a Mango Fett Smoothie.
There's an actual Java the Hut in Silver City, New Mexico (pop. around 15,000—my hometown). It's in a trailer (I think; or a trailer-like structure) on Bullard Street, next to the motorcycle shop, the window-tinting business, and the gelato parlor.
Yeah, I'm late on this, but I was reading these out loud and The Wife suggested a Geek Salad with Fett-a cheese.
han soda (not really coffee, but ya know...)
Revenge of the Sips
Slant rhymes are the shit.
If you're listening to the Cavs game on WTAM 1100 you're probably still hearing the Cuban station that's broadcasting at half a million watts in the background, too.
Not that it has anything to do with Star Wars.
Um... Millennium Falscone?
Why is it that nothing coffee-related rhymes with 'force' ?
Where are the Princess Bunheads?
I am not sure if this is related, but in a similar situation a group of friends and I theorized on possible combinations of presidential assasinators and sexual terms (I believe it was president's day, and I promise we are not sickos). let's just say sirhan sirhandjob was mentioned...
So you would be served by Death Staristas, right?
how about Tea-3PO or Steam Trooper (it could be steamed milk with flavoring) Han Soda (like italian soda's) Boba Frap (frappiccino)....wow Im a geek, but I think those are great drink names
Serpentia, your star trek fantasy has come true! at some hotel in Las Vegas -- probably owned by Paramount, of course.
As for the Star Wars Coffee Shop, drink names with which I agree are:
Desserts? I agree with and promote:
Degobagels are fantastic, as is Admiral Snakbar (It's a trap!).
Love this site!
Here's a few:
For the Mos Eis Cream, perhaps served in a
Or maybe some Padmint Ice Cream?
Wow, I've never been so nerdy.
Jar Jargeeling (yeah, another one)
Umm... there are quite a few people started to repeat ideas... please read above posts before posting. as for me...
Nerf Burger (Nerf Herder)
Tea K421 (tk421)
That's all for now... and remember:
Brew or brew not, there is no Chai.
Unfortunately I live no where NEAR Las Vegas, I was thinking a little closer to the North East...LoL....but thanks for the thought
(you know who)
P.S. Wait! Luke COFFEEwalker!
(Ya like that? Heh? No charge,)
There is a java the hutt at Skywalker Ranch in Marin. Oh yeah, it is true.
um, as for nothing coffee related going with "force"... what about "force ground coffee"?
(as in coarse ground)
Personal favorite: Luke Coffewalker.
I'd like to add:
-May The Coffee Be With You
-Tall Latte X-Wing
-Lando Calrissian Chai
-Landspeeder Cinnamon Roll
-Nerdgasm Chocolate Chip Cookie
Wait a minute.
You haven't seen the recent installments? What are you, a communist?
Wait til they're on the big screen in your area, in digital. Visually stunning, if nothing else.
http://www.itsatrap.net/ For all of you Admiral Snakbar fanatics, here's a website you might enjoy. Google is a marvelous thing. Some kid took like 5 seconds to make this.
how big a geek am I that I know that that Chewbacca mug was the FIRST licensed star wars product ever? I think it was licensed before the movie even came out.
Pretty big geek I think... worth quite a bit for a mug too.
I think these are more coffeehouse names...
Industrial Latte & Mocha
Boba Fat-free Muffins
Sarlac Snacks (it's people!!!)
Jar Jar Drinks
Lando Calimarian (stretch)
The Emperor's New Cloves (garlic dish?)
Falafel with Tattoo-hini sauce?
i would prefer a coffee francise based on my favorite science-fiction film, ZAPPED! starring Scott Baio and Willie Aames.
But much like the film and it's stars' carreers, I think this franchise would be a crashing failure.
I just found the site. It's pretty cool. You should check it out. www.javathetruck.com I still would have gone with java the hut, but it's pretty clever.
Just thought I'd add, my friends wanted to make an idea similar to this. Only it sucked a lot harder. A tahini truck, instead of an ice-cream truck, they'd put tahini in cones and sell it and everyone would know them across the country. Kinda stupid.
Now I have to clean flying nose coffee off my laptop...
I dream of someday opening a small, elegant cafe, serving pearl tea (also known as boba) and naming the place Boba Fête.
Not really. But it would be funny.
how about... Java the Truck! Its ingenious and original!
will you call you drinkmakers barista d'an?
how about a lovely max tea-bo?
what a great idea: www.javathetruck.com
And can we extend this to Star Trek?
This site is the Calvin & Hobbes of the Web. Gold.