December 27, 2005

Ho Ho Ho, Hee Hee Hee!

My son kicked ass on Christmas eve. Santa showed up in person and the boy really surprised me by showing no fear.

When I heard Santa might be stopping by, I thought it wouldn't go well because the big guy also showed up at some kid's party he was at last week and at that appearance my son pretended to be asleep on a trampoline until he was gone.

But on Christmas Eve the planets aligned and in front of 24 people my son decided to chat it up with the fat man. Santa made some silly comment and said "Santa's funny." My son said, "Yeah, I'm funny too! You wanna hear a joke?"

I was instantly excited by this, but he came out with one that he had clearly learned somewhere... "What do you call a vampire whose car broke down? -- A cab!" Everyone laughed, but I was secretly disappointed because it wasn't one of his own surreal zingers.

Basically, Christmas was ruined.

But then..."You wanna hear another one?!" my son said.

"Of course!" Santa replied.

"Ummm.... ummm.... Why did the spoon... throw glass on the ceiling?"

Yes! My wife and I were quietly psyched. Not only was he talking to Santa, but he was about to unload a spontaneous insane joke in front of everyone.

(Invisi-Punchline Technology -

Q: "Why did the spoon throw glass on the ceiling?"

A: "Because the plate was a TV!"

He delivered the punchline hard and the crowd responded with about 4 seconds of confused silence. It was fantastic.

Then Santa let out a loud "HO HO HO!" and everyone else joined in laughing. And just like that, Christmas was saved.

(You can find more Jokes from the Booster Seat here.)

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Posted by Steven | Archive