Welcome back to the international playground! Here's a couple sent in from Holland and a couple of after-dinner rhymes from Sweden. (If you're new to this section, it's an on-going collection of obnoxious schoolyard rhymes collected from around the world. Enjoy!)

HOLLAND

Ik vouw dat ik een koe was
dan liep ik vrij in de wei
Dan kreeg ik mond en klauwzeer
en ik ben dan zo blij
Dan zou de dieren arts komen
Hij keek me in de bek
Dan zeggen alle andere koeien
Die vent is gek.

English translation:

I wish that I was a cow
So I could run in the pasture
Then I would catch hoof-and-mouth disease
And I would be so happy!
Then the veterinarian would come
And look me in the mouth,
And then all the other cows would say,
"That fellow must be crazy!"

Sent by: Sarita

(This rhyme was originally spelled phonetically when it was sent to me. Thanks to everyone who sent me a proper Dutch (Fries) version of it. They were all a little differnt, but I grabbed the one from the guy who seemed to know the actual rhyme. I hope it's right.)

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HOLLAND #2

Weet je wat?
steek je vinger in je gat!
Maar niet te diep
anders kom je in de sigarenfabriek

English translation:

You know what?
Stick a finger up your ass
but not too deep
or you'll end up in the cigar factory!

Sent by: Miss Josepha

(That one was the actual Dutch.)

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SWEDEN

(Finally, Jessica and Mattias from Stockholm say: "After finishing your meal, it's custom to say 'thank you' (at least when we were kids). To spice things up, you could do your moral duty AND have a big laugh at the same time...")

#1
Tack för maten, den var god
Hälften spydde, resten dog

English translation:

Thanks for dinner it was good
half of us puked and the others died

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#2

Tack för maten, det var gott
ut på muggen som ett skott

English translation:

Thanks for dinner it was good
Off to the toilet fast as a bullet

Sent by: Jessica and Mattias

Do you have a great obnoxious kid rhyme from outside the U.S.?
Send it here for the next update!

Just be sure to include:
1) The rhyme's originating country
2) The rhyme in the original language
3) The direct English translation

See all the rhymes here.