July 3, 2004

Wouldn't You Rather Relax?

We've all played that Would You Rather game where you are forced to make perplexing choices for amusement. A classic example being: WOULD YOUR RATHER... watch a porno movie with your parents OR watch a porno movie starring your parents?

Sure it's entertaining, but those choices are difficult. I have enough stress in my life what with raising kids, the threat of terrorism, all the shame associated with having extra-large genitalia, etc...

I want everyone to have a peaceful and relaxing July 4th-- so sit back, take a deep breath, and enjoy my simpler, stress-free, "heart-healthy" version of this popular game...

WOULD YOU RATHER...

Win a billion dollars?

OR

Have your face bitten off by a shark?

(See? Easy like Sunday morning. I can feel the tension melting away. Okay, try this one...)

WOULD YOU RATHER...

Have sex with the hottest person on the planet?

OR

Legally change your name to Fatty Igotaids?

(I'd say we just gave Ol' Mr. Stress a kick in the keister! Get ready, the last one is tricky.)

WOULD YOU RATHER...

Have a long, fulfilling and productive life?

OR

Get fucked in the eye by Frankenstein a lot?

I don't know about you, but I feel like I just had a massage. Have a great 4th of July, guys! (And bring it on, Frankenstein!)



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Posted by Steven | Archive