February 10, 2004
Toppings WantedI recently put up an old favorite called Freaky Franks. Click here to play with it. At some point over the next few months I'd love to make Son of Freaky Franks, but that means at least 10 new toppings. A few I've been kicking around were: Pepto Bismol, Monopoly Pieces and Fire, but nothing is set in stone. I'd love to hear your suggestions. (One thought: gross toppings are okay, but my personal favorites are anything that's visually interesting.) The comment board is NO LONGER OPEN. Thanks! Click here for The Sneeze Home Page! Comments
I would suggest any number of selections from "Steve, Don't Eat It"...especially the pickled pork rinds. Good stuff. Posted by: Ryan at
February 10, 2004 6:46 AM
Ha ha. Good call! 1991 Urkel-Os would not be a bad choice at all, either. Posted by: Steven at
February 10, 2004 6:53 AM
How about something like earplugs, batteries or broken glass? Posted by: mark at
February 10, 2004 7:02 AM
i definately vote for broken glass... Posted by: matt at
February 10, 2004 7:15 AM
Perhaps guinea pig food (those little green pellets), feathers, spackle, or blueberry filling. Or cottage cheese. World of possibility! Posted by: Zach at
February 10, 2004 7:24 AM
Urkel-O's would be cool, but if you could find a box of Nintendo Power cereal (circa 1989) that would be the best...that way you'd have a split of both sugary Mario Bros. and Link from the Legend of Zelda...of course if you found the short-lived "Nerds" cereal, (as in the candy) it would be about the same...they had the same shape and color. Posted by: Ryan at
February 10, 2004 7:40 AM
Here's a few: BBs Posted by: Brad at
February 10, 2004 7:48 AM
Legos, teeth, india ink, thumbtacks, army men, loose change, glitter, or caulk. Because no one wants to eat a caulk dog. Posted by: w0nka at
February 10, 2004 8:02 AM
Breadcrumbs Posted by: Robot Johnny at
February 10, 2004 8:04 AM
I like (as suggested by others): I humbly suggest: What a great project. You are the dreamer of dreams. Posted by: Flatlander at
February 10, 2004 8:15 AM
Oops. Only on review did I notice that w0nka already posted glitter. My apologies, Candyman. Posted by: Flatlander at
February 10, 2004 8:17 AM
Golden Crisp cereal Posted by: John Larroquette at
February 10, 2004 8:29 AM
Christmas Lights Posted by: severedtoe at
February 10, 2004 8:33 AM
When is there going to be a Bride of Freaky Franks? In a proper dress? Posted by: mister clown at
February 10, 2004 8:45 AM
marbles and keeping with the "Frankenstein" theme... Posted by: the Albino at
February 10, 2004 8:48 AM
Pee-Wee Herman action figure (any) Posted by: Scott K. at
February 10, 2004 8:54 AM
Add some traditional toppings; sour kraut, chilli beans, shredded cheese, etc. to complement the bizarre toppings. Make a "white trash" version with a folded piece of white bread. Go for some color extremes; cottage cheese or yogurt with diced pickled beets or julliened string beans. Posted by: lumpynose at
February 10, 2004 8:59 AM
I say go for the gusto...cat litter. Cat litter with tootsie roll turds would be better, but possibly too gross. Posted by: catalicious at
February 10, 2004 9:04 AM
Why not combine it into a "Steve, Don't Eat It!" event, with reports of each and every combination? Posted by: Ben at
February 10, 2004 9:10 AM
My vote's in for Lucky Charms (The Frosted Oat Cereal With Sweet Surprises)... Fluffer-nutter might be cool And.... the Delores Pickled Pork Rinds! Posted by: Max at
February 10, 2004 9:19 AM
I have short term memory loss so I dont remember what any of you already said even tho I just read the suggestions, but I would love to build a hot dog using (among other things)Elmer's Glue, metal shavings, talcum powder, dishwasher detergent (like the green liquid cascade), and a matchbox car (it would probably havta be a Jeep due to the rough terrain of a hot dog). Posted by: Darren at
February 10, 2004 9:35 AM
Steve, It’s scary how many posts were generated, just goes to show you how many people you keep entertained throughout the day! Ok just a few suggestions: Pokemon! Take your pick!! Giardiniera – That tasty oily Italian pepper topping! Cough Drops (in the wrapper) Nasal breathing strips Flags from around the world Tripe! Chicken Feet Cow Tongue Gefilte Fish And I’m done! -Michael Posted by: Michael at
February 10, 2004 9:52 AM
animal crackers Posted by: Momosan at
February 10, 2004 10:06 AM
Aspirin Posted by: Amanda at
February 10, 2004 10:39 AM
1. Crickets (available at any pet store) Posted by: Daniel at
February 10, 2004 10:42 AM
Alka Seltzer tablets Posted by: Reecie at
February 10, 2004 10:50 AM
Pubic Hair. Always visually interesting. Posted by: evilpig at
February 10, 2004 11:09 AM
some very good suggestions, maybe consider having another set of options for different bun types, the white trash bread dog could then be made, also the twinkie could double as a bun (ala UHF and the easy-cheese-twinkie-weiner-dog, or something like that) Posted by: asmostopheles at
February 10, 2004 11:55 AM
Tinsel That'll do, donkey. Posted by: Rosie at
February 10, 2004 12:01 PM
asmostopheles, http://www.hometown-treats.com/products/devil_dogs.html -Steve Posted by: Steven at
February 10, 2004 12:21 PM
Big League Chew Posted by: Patrick at
February 10, 2004 12:28 PM
How about something outrageous, like Ketchup or mustard. Or really over the top, like relish or, really weird... onions. I'm assuming you threw away all the hotdogs from freaky franks 1. I was just imagining some guy digging through your garbage, looking for stuff to steal your identity, thinking, "what kind of god damn freak would do this" Posted by: Darryl at
February 10, 2004 12:37 PM
Pez. Everybody loves Pez! Posted by: Zclone at
February 10, 2004 1:23 PM
Money Posted by: Ian at
February 10, 2004 1:27 PM
How about metal jacks (like from the children's game that you play with a ball). They would be VERY visually appealing! Posted by: Jennie at
February 10, 2004 2:23 PM
Small live mice. Posted by: Evan at
February 10, 2004 5:18 PM
My girlfriend just brought home cooked duck from some chinese restaurant, and it was all cut up with the skin still on it. worse, there was a duck foot sitting in the bottom of the styrofoam take out box it was in. The skin had bumps on it, which I had to spit out. So i recommend either duck skin or duck feet. Posted by: Matt at
February 10, 2004 5:31 PM
how about you crack open one of those Halloween glow sticks (any color- although alien green can't go wrong) and dribble it on.... i love this idea....just when you thought the ingredients of a basic hotdog couldn't be any worse.... Posted by: shelley at
February 10, 2004 7:11 PM
Evan, Small live mice?? Brilliant! Large dead mice would just be crass. ::grin:: Or how about one of the disturbing new masscots for Quiznos Subs!! ::singing:: "We love Steeeeeeve's Hoooot Doooogs...we realllllly dooooo..." -Michael Posted by: Michael at
February 10, 2004 7:48 PM
Not enough wet topping suggestions, so here are some of mine: 1.creamed spinach Posted by: Abby at
February 10, 2004 8:37 PM
Pez dispensers. Posted by: Debbie at
February 10, 2004 9:33 PM
The guy I work with who's sitting next to me just suggested baby birds (just out of the egg, featherless and eyes still shut) Posted by: Darren at
February 11, 2004 7:46 AM
Mealworms. Posted by: Robot Johnny at
February 11, 2004 7:48 AM
I was just checking out the Freaky Franks and found myself kind of wanting to eat the one with circus peanuts and whipped cream. New possible toppings: cat's eye marbles and ky jelly. I don't think I'd want to eat that one. Of the above suggestions, one of my favorites is Big League chew. Posted by: lil at
February 11, 2004 8:05 AM
* Marshmallow peeps This is giving me some great ideas for my hubster's next cookout, lmaaaao. --m Posted by: Margo at
February 11, 2004 8:18 AM
Wow! So many awesome toppings. You guys rock! Thanks!!! -Steve Posted by: Steve at
February 11, 2004 8:18 AM
Metal sewing pins with multicolored colored plastic heads, dozens of them, stuck into the hot dog like a pincushion. A clip-on bowtie Fuzzy dice Pool cue chalk A pair of those stupid looking Euro-trash tortoise shell glasses that are in style right now Posted by: Christy at
February 11, 2004 9:02 AM
used coffee grounds Posted by: annie at
February 11, 2004 9:24 AM
1. The tears of a broken heart Posted by: Jesse at
February 11, 2004 9:28 AM
Im eating some of those valentines candy hearts right now- Boy do I wish I had a hot dog and some rubber cement to go with them! MMMMMMMM!!!! Posted by: Darren at
February 11, 2004 9:42 AM
Suggested toppings: Sprinkles (Jimmies) Thanks Posted by: karen at
February 11, 2004 9:54 AM
Hi Steve. To me, nothing looks better on an old Hebrew National than a few pet rocks. Mmm mmm good. Posted by: james at
February 11, 2004 10:52 AM
9MM bullets and Ring Pops Posted by: Jer at
February 11, 2004 11:37 AM
Beach sand Posted by: pril at
February 11, 2004 12:50 PM
Here are a few suggestions: Posted by: Mia at
February 11, 2004 1:03 PM
Post-IT Notes (trademark 3M) reminding one to consume his hot dog. Posted by: Brian Evans at
February 11, 2004 1:17 PM
spray-on cheese spread Posted by: mitchell at
February 11, 2004 2:48 PM
Chopped hard-boiled eggs Posted by: Jasmin at
February 11, 2004 9:54 PM
Definitely broken glass and vaseline. Posted by: Supragenius at
February 11, 2004 11:05 PM
in the idea of Steve don't eat it, I'll only suggest actual edibles... some may repeat, I'm sorry, thats alot to remember above.... Grape Jelly Posted by: jen at
February 12, 2004 3:13 AM
Do the toppings have to go on a hot dog? How about on Jessica (Nappy Rag) instead? Mmmm. Posted by: Joe at
February 12, 2004 6:19 AM
C'mon, get a little more disgusting. You want people to love it, make them sick. A chunk of used toilet paper These are all local and free items. I expect to see atleast one of my choices on this hot-dog. If not, I will send one item from my list on a daily basis to your home address. Kidding. Posted by: Grafiks at
February 12, 2004 7:54 AM
anything from a public school lunch program (mystery meat anyone?) the insides of felt markers loose change baby teeth Posted by: gallikanokis at
February 12, 2004 12:06 PM
One tampon. Posted by: Gilbo at
February 12, 2004 1:16 PM
Any CD or cassette by Prince. Posted by: Brian at
February 12, 2004 5:33 PM
Live (small) goldfish..(they won't be live for long!) Fish food Baby Crickets (live or dead, it's all good) Bloodworms and real worms All of the above can be found in your local pet store fish/reptile area. :) Posted by: Angela at
February 12, 2004 8:50 PM
I would like to see the following toppings? 1) The frailty of the human race Posted by: Cardhouse at
February 12, 2004 9:52 PM
For the 69th Comment I would like to see these items as toppings... oh damn, everything I come up with has already been chosen. how about little fuzzy cat-toy mice? M Posted by: Mason at
February 13, 2004 12:01 AM
Has anyone mentioned: Macaroni & Cheese Golf Balls Hot Wheels, esp the new mini-Hot Wheels, you could get a lot of them on there Thumb Tacks, the shiny brass ones Paper Clips Grape Nuts Cereal Sand or gravel Milkshake preferably a McDonalds Shamrock Shake if available White Out That's enough, you've got a wide range of great suggestions, well, maybe great is a little strong... Posted by: Scott at
February 13, 2004 7:03 AM
1) Pubic Hairs Posted by: Michael at
February 13, 2004 9:54 AM
Slugs and Salt A wonderful combination Posted by: Jay at
February 13, 2004 2:40 PM
Your vomit subsequent to ingesting any of the previously mentioned combinations. Posted by: Matt at
February 17, 2004 8:18 AM
Condoms and Presedential Buttons for Democratic hopefuls. Posted by: Shane at
February 17, 2004 10:33 AM
Might I refer you to my posting on things that are funny to vomit? I think that any of these objects would make suitable toppings for your hot dog! See "Lunch Revisited" at: http://eastmeetswest.blogdrive.com/archive/cm-2_cy-2004_m-2_d-16_y-2004_o-40.html Posted by: shane at
February 17, 2004 10:43 AM
Here is my list. Although I tried to read and remember all of the prior suggestions, there may be a repeat. For this, I beg your indulgence. Liquid Paper Smart Yellow Pages San Jose and Santa Clara M-Z A hammer Plastic flatware (preferably sporks) Those mini candy canes that you hang on your Xmas tree Used book stickers Used books (preferably romance novels or pulp fiction) Three rubber balls with the words "Room 12" on them Fresh fruit (preferably whole grapefruit or melons) A small toolchest Salt, and plenty of it Lemon zest Kentucky straight bourbon whiskey Socks A stranger's vacation photos More Kentucky straight bourbon whiskey That stuff you scrape off the bottom of the pizza box A child's soiled underpants (preferably underoos or pull-ups)
Posted by: Capnhank at
February 17, 2004 2:32 PM
I can't believe NO ONE said Gummy candy, i.e. bears, worms, or whatever other wacky shapes those Gummy folk twist their multicolored sugar-rubber into. I personally vote for Gummi worms, as they are my favorite. I also suggest: -Scotch tape (with or without dispenser) I think that'll do. Man, I could TRY to do some work today. Posted by: misCHIevous at
February 18, 2004 1:43 PM
micro machines...if you have any laying around. Posted by: Jen at
February 18, 2004 6:00 PM
While strolling through the local supermarket, I happened upon a can (actually several cans) of Pastene baby clams (shells included). What a glorious topping this would be. Posted by: Zclone at
February 19, 2004 10:06 AM
How about a dirty diaper, ruined sushi, goose-liver pate or compost from a neighbor's garden? Posted by: Drewsilla at
February 21, 2004 8:56 AM
Man, there are a lot of good ideas here, and a lot of really foul ones too. Here's my contributions. Liquid: blue or green slurpee, the creamy filling from cadbury eggs, that foam that you use to fix bicycle flats, and glitter glue, which is so much cooler than plain glitter. Dry: those gummi sharks, dungeons and dragons 12 sided dice, that christmas ribbon candy that grandmas always have on their coffee tables, and cheetos. Posted by: nikekalami at
February 22, 2004 12:24 AM
items already mentioned that bear repeating: gummie bears items that I don't think have been mentioned: M&Ms (any kind) Posted by: louise at
February 23, 2004 8:05 AM
After re-reading all the posts, I realized that I listed a few things that had already been mentioned. My agologies. But I thought of some more... tums or rolaids I could go on... Posted by: louise at
February 23, 2004 1:13 PM
Breast milk you seem to have lots of that at your house Posted by: greg at
February 26, 2004 10:00 AM
well, all i can add is: Fish Body Oils (they come in gelcaps, pop one open sometime!) Raw Salmon Fecal Matter Paperclips bent out so they are straight rather than in that wierd shape spraypaint fish eyes bat guano if anyone had my ideas up already, or if I spelled anything wrong, I'm sorry. Posted by: Ryan at
February 28, 2004 1:18 PM
I am a little behind the times but here are a few new ones (I think): Posted by: Jen at
March 4, 2004 2:39 PM
i dont know if any of these are repeats or not, i just read all of the suggestions, but i cant remember them all.. if they're repeats, it's because they're great ideas! :) salted slugs that's all i can come up with right now Posted by: kitty at
March 26, 2004 1:37 AM
Freaky Franks 1 introduced me to the mouthwatering delight of buffalo wings with peanut butter - they're really yummy. I'm looking forward to Son of Freaky. Posted by: tris at
May 17, 2004 11:02 PM
I'm really in love with the idea of fire. I also suggest: Mini cassette tapes Hurry up, already! Posted by: Janet at
May 23, 2004 10:03 AM
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