February 10, 2004

Toppings Wanted

I recently put up an old favorite called Freaky Franks. Click here to play with it.

At some point over the next few months I'd love to make Son of Freaky Franks, but that means at least 10 new toppings. A few I've been kicking around were: Pepto Bismol, Monopoly Pieces and Fire, but nothing is set in stone.

I'd love to hear your suggestions. (One thought: gross toppings are okay, but my personal favorites are anything that's visually interesting.) The comment board is NO LONGER OPEN. Thanks!

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Posted by Steven | Archive

I would suggest any number of selections from "Steve, Don't Eat It"...especially the pickled pork rinds. Good stuff.

Posted by: Ryan at February 10, 2004 6:46 AM

Ha ha. Good call! 1991 Urkel-Os would not be a bad choice at all, either.

Posted by: Steven at February 10, 2004 6:53 AM

How about something like earplugs, batteries or broken glass?

Posted by: mark at February 10, 2004 7:02 AM

i definately vote for broken glass...

Posted by: matt at February 10, 2004 7:15 AM

Perhaps guinea pig food (those little green pellets), feathers, spackle, or blueberry filling. Or cottage cheese. World of possibility!

Posted by: Zach at February 10, 2004 7:24 AM

Urkel-O's would be cool, but if you could find a box of Nintendo Power cereal (circa 1989) that would be the best...that way you'd have a split of both sugary Mario Bros. and Link from the Legend of Zelda...of course if you found the short-lived "Nerds" cereal, (as in the candy) it would be about the same...they had the same shape and color.

Posted by: Ryan at February 10, 2004 7:40 AM

Here's a few:

Crushed ice
Silly string
Wing nuts
Plastic googly eyes

Posted by: Brad at February 10, 2004 7:48 AM

Legos, teeth, india ink, thumbtacks, army men, loose change, glitter, or caulk. Because no one wants to eat a caulk dog.

Posted by: w0nka at February 10, 2004 8:02 AM

Sand (wet)
Sand (dry)
Baked beans
Cocktail weiners (hot dogs on hot dogs!)

Posted by: Robot Johnny at February 10, 2004 8:04 AM

I like (as suggested by others):
Cocktail Wieners
Googly Eyes (cruh-eepy)
Blueberry Filling

I humbly suggest:
Sweet and Sour sauce
Birthday Candles
Creamed Corn (a corn dog?)
Pencil Shavings
Sharpie (can you draw on a hot dog?)

What a great project. You are the dreamer of dreams.

Posted by: Flatlander at February 10, 2004 8:15 AM

Two words baby:

Alka Seltzer

Posted by: GonzoJohn at February 10, 2004 8:17 AM

Oops. Only on review did I notice that w0nka already posted glitter. My apologies, Candyman.

Posted by: Flatlander at February 10, 2004 8:17 AM

Golden Crisp cereal
Sliced beets
Motor oil

Posted by: John Larroquette at February 10, 2004 8:29 AM

Christmas Lights
ninja stars
pogs (remember those)
playing cards
binder clips

Posted by: severedtoe at February 10, 2004 8:33 AM

When is there going to be a Bride of Freaky Franks? In a proper dress?

Posted by: mister clown at February 10, 2004 8:45 AM

lucky charms
styrofoam peanuts
star wars action figure (preferably Chewbacca)
cotton balls
wax lips (kiss your weiner!)
kitty litter

and keeping with the "Frankenstein" theme...
stitches in the bun would be awesome

Posted by: the Albino at February 10, 2004 8:48 AM

Pee-Wee Herman action figure (any)
Science Diet R/D Prescription dog food (wet)
Supermarket plus card (any, i.e. KrogerPlus, etc.)
gravel/river rock
AA/AAA batteries
toilet freshener tablet (blue)
spark plugs (used)
calf brains
neon/cardinal tetra's, angelfish, beta's (colorful, live or dead)
budgie cuttlefish or seed-stick
Risk(c) playing pieces
AOL/Earthlink cd (any version)

Posted by: Scott K. at February 10, 2004 8:54 AM

Add some traditional toppings; sour kraut, chilli beans, shredded cheese, etc. to complement the bizarre toppings.

Make a "white trash" version with a folded piece of white bread.

Go for some color extremes; cottage cheese or yogurt with diced pickled beets or julliened string beans.

Posted by: lumpynose at February 10, 2004 8:59 AM

I say go for the gusto...cat litter. Cat litter with tootsie roll turds would be better, but possibly too gross.

Posted by: catalicious at February 10, 2004 9:04 AM

Why not combine it into a "Steve, Don't Eat It!" event, with reports of each and every combination?
Obviously broken glass is out though!

Posted by: Ben at February 10, 2004 9:10 AM

My vote's in for Lucky Charms (The Frosted Oat Cereal With Sweet Surprises)...

Fluffer-nutter might be cool

And.... the Delores Pickled Pork Rinds!

Posted by: Max at February 10, 2004 9:19 AM

I have short term memory loss so I dont remember what any of you already said even tho I just read the suggestions, but I would love to build a hot dog using (among other things)Elmer's Glue, metal shavings, talcum powder, dishwasher detergent (like the green liquid cascade), and a matchbox car (it would probably havta be a Jeep due to the rough terrain of a hot dog).

Posted by: Darren at February 10, 2004 9:35 AM


It’s scary how many posts were generated, just goes to show you how many people you keep entertained throughout the day!

Ok just a few suggestions:

Pokemon! Take your pick!!

Giardiniera – That tasty oily Italian pepper topping!

Cough Drops (in the wrapper)

Nasal breathing strips

Flags from around the world


Chicken Feet

Cow Tongue

Gefilte Fish

And I’m done!


Posted by: Michael at February 10, 2004 9:52 AM

animal crackers
coffee beans
monkeys from the barrel o'

Posted by: Momosan at February 10, 2004 10:06 AM

Pop Rocks
Trail Mix
Mashed Potatoes
Sun Screen

Posted by: Amanda at February 10, 2004 10:39 AM

1. Crickets (available at any pet store)
2. Tylenol Gel Caps
3. Rabbit Droppings (I can provide, or you can use Coco Puffs)
4. Band-Aids
5. Jello squares (little colorful cubes you could make in an ice tray)
6. Ice
7. Marbles
8. Condoms
9. Hair
10. Nipples (baby bottle)
11. Pop Rocks
12. Tampons
13. Contact lenses
14. Rhinestones
15. Used Q-Tips
16. Needles or push-pins or thumbtacks
17. Shoelaces
18. Crushed Glass (or Glass Shards)
19. Prescription Pills
20. (Beer) Bottle Caps
21. Little Pocket Knives
22. Rocks
23. Dirt
24. Rat Tails
25. Vomit
26. Oysters or Clams
27. Dental Floss
28. Cassette Tape (unspooled)
29. Sharpie Pen Tops
30. Paper Clips
31. Bottles of Liquid Paper
33. Rubber Bands
34. Watch Batteries
35. Nuts N' Bolts
36. Loogies
37. Ointments (small tubes of it)
38. Postage Stamps
39. Creamed Corn or Lima Beans
40. Pencil Eraser Tips (broken off at top)
41. Vaseline
42. Vintage Soda Can Pull Tabs (the kind you used to pull off with the ring)
43. Sardines or Anchovies
44. Birthday Candles
45. Frog Organs (internal)
46. Caviar (Red or Black)
47. Fingernails
48. Dandruff
49. Jewelry
50. Noodles
51. Mucus
52. Teeth (human)
53. Christmas Tree Bulbs
54. Tooth Picks (frilly)
55. uncooked rice
56. Bullets
57. Pennies (or any coins)
58. Tic Tacs
59. Matches (sticks)
60. Crushed Cell Phone Parts (I have one you could smash)
61. Cocktail Forks
62. Buttons (from clothing)
63. Cigarette Butts
64. Golf Tees
65. Baby Corn
66. Marijuana
67. Battleship Game Pieces
68. BB's
69. Pen Springs
70. Frog Legs
71. Guppies (or just "Tropical FIsh")
72. Crackerjack Prizes
73. Thumbs (could be done easily with Photoshop) -- or Toes
74. Shredded (ripped up) Lottery Tickets
75. Movie Ticket Stubs
76. Toothbrush Heads
77. Yarn or Thread
78. Thimbles
79. Hot Wheels
80. Tweezers
81. Raisins or Grapes
82. Cough Drops
83. Watermelon Seeds
84. Pet Food (dog, cat, rabbit)
85. Honey
86. Lard
87. Dradles (they make little ones)
88. Birthday or Hanukah Candles
89. Pig Snouts
90. Chopped Liver
91. Hershey's Kisses
92. Quail Eggs (any sushi restaurant)
93. Bra Flowers (those little "flowers" between the cups of every bra)
94. Chewed Gum
95. Chicklets
96. Corks
97. Thorns (rose)
98. Fish Hooks
99. Keys
100. Razor Blades

Posted by: Daniel at February 10, 2004 10:42 AM

Alka Seltzer tablets
Froot Loops
Marshmallow Peeps
Hot Wheels cars
canned okra
Runts candies
chocolate covered cherries
those super-teeny little gift bows
cotton balls
pickle relish
orange marmalade
Bugles snacks

Posted by: Reecie at February 10, 2004 10:50 AM

Pubic Hair. Always visually interesting.

Posted by: evilpig at February 10, 2004 11:09 AM

some very good suggestions, maybe consider having another set of options for different bun types, the white trash bread dog could then be made, also the twinkie could double as a bun (ala UHF and the easy-cheese-twinkie-weiner-dog, or something like that)

Posted by: asmostopheles at February 10, 2004 11:55 AM

Curly fries (stuck in vertically)
Whipped cream from a can with cherries and sprinkles (it's the banana split of hot dogs)
And/Or, pink wafers
Cocktail umbrellas

That'll do, donkey.

Posted by: Rosie at February 10, 2004 12:01 PM

I'm with you on the alternate buns. I had been thinking of using a Devil Dog as a bun, but I was afraid that might just be a by-product of my east coast upbringing, and not nationally known.



Posted by: Steven at February 10, 2004 12:21 PM

Big League Chew
Banana peels (as hot dog bun)
Amazon.com Gold Boxes
Gary Coleman

Posted by: Patrick at February 10, 2004 12:28 PM

How about something outrageous, like Ketchup or mustard. Or really over the top, like relish or, really weird... onions.

I'm assuming you threw away all the hotdogs from freaky franks 1. I was just imagining some guy digging through your garbage, looking for stuff to steal your identity, thinking, "what kind of god damn freak would do this"

Posted by: Darryl at February 10, 2004 12:37 PM

Pez. Everybody loves Pez!

Posted by: Zclone at February 10, 2004 1:23 PM

Foam Insulation
Scrabble tiles

Posted by: Ian at February 10, 2004 1:27 PM

How about metal jacks (like from the children's game that you play with a ball). They would be VERY visually appealing!

Posted by: Jennie at February 10, 2004 2:23 PM

Small live mice.

Posted by: Evan at February 10, 2004 5:18 PM

My girlfriend just brought home cooked duck from some chinese restaurant, and it was all cut up with the skin still on it. worse, there was a duck foot sitting in the bottom of the styrofoam take out box it was in. The skin had bumps on it, which I had to spit out.

So i recommend either duck skin or duck feet.

Posted by: Matt at February 10, 2004 5:31 PM

how about you crack open one of those Halloween glow sticks (any color- although alien green can't go wrong) and dribble it on....

i love this idea....just when you thought the ingredients of a basic hotdog couldn't be any worse....

Posted by: shelley at February 10, 2004 7:11 PM


Small live mice?? Brilliant! Large dead mice would just be crass. ::grin::

Or how about one of the disturbing new masscots for Quiznos Subs!!

::singing:: "We love Steeeeeeve's Hoooot Doooogs...we realllllly dooooo..."


Posted by: Michael at February 10, 2004 7:48 PM

Not enough wet topping suggestions, so here are some of mine:

1.creamed spinach
2.that slime (like TMNT mutagen) that you could buy in the late 80's... do they even still make that?
3.Vicks Vaporub
4.canned tuna
(And I love the blueberry pie filling idea.)

Posted by: Abby at February 10, 2004 8:37 PM

Pez dispensers.

Posted by: Debbie at February 10, 2004 9:33 PM

The guy I work with who's sitting next to me just suggested baby birds (just out of the egg, featherless and eyes still shut)

Posted by: Darren at February 11, 2004 7:46 AM


Posted by: Robot Johnny at February 11, 2004 7:48 AM

I was just checking out the Freaky Franks and found myself kind of wanting to eat the one with circus peanuts and whipped cream. New possible toppings: cat's eye marbles and ky jelly. I don't think I'd want to eat that one. Of the above suggestions, one of my favorites is Big League chew.

Posted by: lil at February 11, 2004 8:05 AM

* Marshmallow peeps
* A TV remote
* Chrome nuts and bolts
* Two fried eggs sunnyside up
* Necco wafers (has anybody under 64 years old ever BOUGHT those things? Steve, DON'T eat it!!)
* Prell (or Pert) shampoo
* Pine cones
* Jingle bells
* Sparklers (lit)

This is giving me some great ideas for my hubster's next cookout, lmaaaao. --m

Posted by: Margo at February 11, 2004 8:18 AM

Wow! So many awesome toppings. You guys rock! Thanks!!!


Posted by: Steve at February 11, 2004 8:18 AM

Metal sewing pins with multicolored colored plastic heads, dozens of them, stuck into the hot dog like a pincushion.

A clip-on bowtie

Fuzzy dice

Pool cue chalk

A pair of those stupid looking Euro-trash tortoise shell glasses that are in style right now

Posted by: Christy at February 11, 2004 9:02 AM

used coffee grounds
egg shells
orange peels
big dollops of margarine or lard
cream of mushroom soup still in a quivering can-shaped lump
fish hooks
and how about a diaper for a bun?

Posted by: annie at February 11, 2004 9:24 AM

1. The tears of a broken heart
2. roly poly fish heads
3. hamburger meat

Posted by: Jesse at February 11, 2004 9:28 AM

Im eating some of those valentines candy hearts right now- Boy do I wish I had a hot dog and some rubber cement to go with them! MMMMMMMM!!!!

Posted by: Darren at February 11, 2004 9:42 AM

Suggested toppings:

Sprinkles (Jimmies)
Pokemon (especially Pikachu)
Human teeth
Rubber bands


Posted by: karen at February 11, 2004 9:54 AM

Hi Steve. To me, nothing looks better on an old Hebrew National than a few pet rocks. Mmm mmm good.

Posted by: james at February 11, 2004 10:52 AM

9MM bullets and Ring Pops

Posted by: Jer at February 11, 2004 11:37 AM

Beach sand
bathroom sink detritus
B52 mix
Port'n'Cheddar cheese loaf spread
gasket sealer (blue, or the shiny coppery stuff)
Orange hand cleaner
Sticky eyeballs (found in gumball machines, usually)
well, anything from a gumball machine.

Posted by: pril at February 11, 2004 12:50 PM

Here are a few suggestions:
1. Peeps (in traditional yellow, of course, for contrast)
2. kittens (the cuter & fluffier the better)
3. jacks
4. hominy
5. snails
6. refried beans
7. glitter (I know it's already been suggested. Its such a good one, it bears repeating)
8. tater-tots
9. skittles
10. school paste

Posted by: Mia at February 11, 2004 1:03 PM

Post-IT Notes (trademark 3M) reminding one to consume his hot dog.

Posted by: Brian Evans at February 11, 2004 1:17 PM

spray-on cheese spread
hair mousse
sea shells
mashed bananas
oil paint

Posted by: mitchell at February 11, 2004 2:48 PM

Chopped hard-boiled eggs
Parsley (really weird here, I know)
Rose petals (for the Valentine's Day dog, with the candy hearts mentioned above, or to contrast with the parsley)
String, or brightly-colored wool
Sunflower seeds
Computer parts
Pencil shavings (did someone already say that?)
Ice cubes

Posted by: Jasmin at February 11, 2004 9:54 PM

Definitely broken glass and vaseline.

Posted by: Supragenius at February 11, 2004 11:05 PM

in the idea of Steve don't eat it, I'll only suggest actual edibles... some may repeat, I'm sorry, thats alot to remember above....

Grape Jelly
Gorgonzola Cheese
Limberger Cheese (cartoon classic!)
Jelly beans
Peanut butter
Jellied Coconut milk
Peanut sauce
Soy sauce
mini marshmallows (colored of course!)
POUNCE cat treats
Milkbone dog biscuits
Mini choco chip cookies
The following cereals: boo berry, count chokula, fruity pebbles, sugar crisp, Captain Crunch
those clear thai noodles (really gross looking)
raw shrimp, in shell
canadian cheese curds (good but weird looking)
sea urchin sushi (possibly the most disgusting thing I've ever eaten)
red kidney beans
Lima beans
Asparagus or Brussels sprouts

Posted by: jen at February 12, 2004 3:13 AM

Do the toppings have to go on a hot dog? How about on Jessica (Nappy Rag) instead?


Posted by: Joe at February 12, 2004 6:19 AM

C'mon, get a little more disgusting. You want people to love it, make them sick.

A chunk of used toilet paper
Lobs of earwax on a Q-tip
Tissue with obvious snot on it
A big cornchip of a toe-nail
A delicate, but crunchy scab
Clumps of drain hair with unidentified swaths of guck
Bloody pubic hair
Zit, pimple and blackhead chowder
Zesty, wake up in the morning eye sauce
Salty moustach dandruff

These are all local and free items. I expect to see atleast one of my choices on this hot-dog. If not, I will send one item from my list on a daily basis to your home address. Kidding.

Posted by: Grafiks at February 12, 2004 7:54 AM

anything from a public school lunch program (mystery meat anyone?)

the insides of felt markers

loose change

baby teeth

Posted by: gallikanokis at February 12, 2004 12:06 PM

One tampon.

Posted by: Gilbo at February 12, 2004 1:16 PM

Any CD or cassette by Prince.

Posted by: Brian at February 12, 2004 5:33 PM

Live (small) goldfish..(they won't be live for long!)

Fish food

Baby Crickets (live or dead, it's all good)

Bloodworms and real worms

All of the above can be found in your local pet store fish/reptile area. :)

Posted by: Angela at February 12, 2004 8:50 PM

I would like to see the following toppings?

1) The frailty of the human race
2) Celebrities ... in Jail!
3) Paris
4) Corn Huskers Lotion (R)
5) Cubic Zirconium
6) Grace Slick
7) A small stuffed animal like a bear or Cookie Monster but not a penguin
8) One Dollar in American Liberty Currency (paper)
9) A Freaky Frank with maximum toppings (as a topping, see, so the Freaky Frank would be peppered with Freaky Franks. See the Internet Pizza Server for more details)
10) Discarded "old skool" ring soda tabs
11) The Will To Live
12) A living will
13) Theremin
14) Theraflu
15) The "coming back from impossible odds" theme repeatedly beaten into the ground in the movie _Seabiscuit_
16) Frommer's 1st Edition Guide to Sweden (1999)
18) The gun barrel is jammed against your face and you can feel it slowly slipping down your cheek aided by your own sweat. Then, the hammer goes back and an empty click echoes throughout the examination room. Your fist is already connecting with your aggressor's jawline before you realize what's happening. You escape into the parking lot. That is my answer: a topping offering should be a parking lot.
19) Is there a sale on Freaky Franks today?
20) No. This is a list of potential Freaky Frank toppings.
21) Oh. Sorry about that.
22) No problem.
23) FLT #392 SFO -> HNL 9:32AM (PST)
24) SOFTWARE! EXTRA PRICES! flubrlrjlh yazjbra
25) RJ-45 jacks
26) The "tough, plucky horse represents tough, plucky depression-era public" metaphor repeatedly beaten into the ground in the movie _Seabiscuit_
27) Peak Oil
28) Microscopic amounts of mustard, invisible to the naked eye

Posted by: Cardhouse at February 12, 2004 9:52 PM

For the 69th Comment I would like to see these items as toppings...

oh damn, everything I come up with has already been chosen.

how about little fuzzy cat-toy mice?


Posted by: Mason at February 13, 2004 12:01 AM

Has anyone mentioned:

Macaroni & Cheese

Golf Balls

Hot Wheels, esp the new mini-Hot Wheels, you could get a lot of them on there

Thumb Tacks, the shiny brass ones

Paper Clips

Grape Nuts Cereal

Sand or gravel

Milkshake preferably a McDonalds Shamrock Shake if available

White Out

That's enough, you've got a wide range of great suggestions, well, maybe great is a little strong...

Posted by: Scott at February 13, 2004 7:03 AM

1) Pubic Hairs
2) Gold Chains
3) Crosses
4) Baby squid
5) White Out
6) Mud
7) Pink lace
8) Snow
9) Garter Snake
10) Mice
11) Post-It Notes
12) Blood
13) Lemon wedges
14) Original He-Man action figures
15) GI Joe figures
16) Marbles
17) Fingernail clippings
18) Toilet Paper (clean or used, your pick)
19) Feathers
20) Baby crabs

Posted by: Michael at February 13, 2004 9:54 AM

Slugs and Salt

A wonderful combination

Posted by: Jay at February 13, 2004 2:40 PM

Your vomit subsequent to ingesting any of the previously mentioned combinations.
I think that's how they invented Frank-n-Stuff!

Posted by: Matt at February 17, 2004 8:18 AM

Condoms and Presedential Buttons for Democratic hopefuls.

Posted by: Shane at February 17, 2004 10:33 AM

Might I refer you to my posting on things that are funny to vomit? I think that any of these objects would make suitable toppings for your hot dog!

See "Lunch Revisited" at:


Posted by: shane at February 17, 2004 10:43 AM

Here is my list. Although I tried to read and remember all of the prior suggestions, there may be a repeat. For this, I beg your indulgence.

Liquid Paper

Smart Yellow Pages San Jose and Santa Clara M-Z

A hammer

Plastic flatware (preferably sporks)

Those mini candy canes that you hang on your Xmas tree

Used book stickers

Used books (preferably romance novels or pulp fiction)

Three rubber balls with the words "Room 12" on them

Fresh fruit (preferably whole grapefruit or melons)

A small toolchest

Salt, and plenty of it

Lemon zest

Kentucky straight bourbon whiskey


A stranger's vacation photos

More Kentucky straight bourbon whiskey

That stuff you scrape off the bottom of the pizza box

A child's soiled underpants (preferably underoos or pull-ups)

OK, I'm out of ideas. That's probably a good thing. Cheers!

Posted by: Capnhank at February 17, 2004 2:32 PM

I can't believe NO ONE said Gummy candy, i.e. bears, worms, or whatever other wacky shapes those Gummy folk twist their multicolored sugar-rubber into. I personally vote for Gummi worms, as they are my favorite. I also suggest:

-Scotch tape (with or without dispenser)
-Sharpie markers (medium point, preferably)
-bubbles (eat the weiner before the bubbles pop!)
-KY Warming Liquid ("That'll work!")
-gas cap from a 1989 Toyota (any model)
-balloons (inflated or flat, helium or not -- your pick)
-subway pass (as in the train, not a punch card for the sandwich "shoppe")
-pencil shavings
-yellow snow

I think that'll do. Man, I could TRY to do some work today.

Posted by: misCHIevous at February 18, 2004 1:43 PM

micro machines...if you have any laying around.
King Cake babies, preferably the gold ones.
put a CD in the microwave and break it into shards.
salt and a snail or two
cockrings....that's all I can think of right now.

Posted by: Jen at February 18, 2004 6:00 PM

While strolling through the local supermarket, I happened upon a can (actually several cans) of Pastene baby clams (shells included). What a glorious topping this would be.

Posted by: Zclone at February 19, 2004 10:06 AM

How about a dirty diaper, ruined sushi, goose-liver pate or compost from a neighbor's garden?

Posted by: Drewsilla at February 21, 2004 8:56 AM

Man, there are a lot of good ideas here, and a lot of really foul ones too. Here's my contributions.

Liquid: blue or green slurpee, the creamy filling from cadbury eggs, that foam that you use to fix bicycle flats, and glitter glue, which is so much cooler than plain glitter.

Dry: those gummi sharks, dungeons and dragons 12 sided dice, that christmas ribbon candy that grandmas always have on their coffee tables, and cheetos.

Posted by: nikekalami at February 22, 2004 12:24 AM

items already mentioned that bear repeating:

gummie bears
cigarette butts

items that I don't think have been mentioned:

M&Ms (any kind)
Hershey kisses (still in wrapper)
any candy, really, would be cool, like an entire Snickers bar or Milky Way
paper clips
thumb tacks
ketchup or mustard packets (or any similarly packaged condiment)

Posted by: louise at February 23, 2004 8:05 AM

After re-reading all the posts, I realized that I listed a few things that had already been mentioned. My agologies.

But I thought of some more...

tums or rolaids
couscous/rice/any kind of pasta
a pocket comb
a tube of chapstick/lipgloss
Flintstones vitamins
cheese curls
lifesavers candy
a wristwatch
clam chowder

I could go on...

Posted by: louise at February 23, 2004 1:13 PM

Breast milk you seem to have lots of that at your house

Posted by: greg at February 26, 2004 10:00 AM

well, all i can add is:

Fish Body Oils (they come in gelcaps, pop one open sometime!)

Raw Salmon

Fecal Matter

Paperclips bent out so they are straight rather than in that wierd shape


fish eyes

bat guano

if anyone had my ideas up already, or if I spelled anything wrong, I'm sorry.

Posted by: Ryan at February 28, 2004 1:18 PM

I am a little behind the times but here are a few new ones (I think):
Water chestnuts
Star anise
Fire crackers
Fake blood
Spray snow

Posted by: Jen at March 4, 2004 2:39 PM

i dont know if any of these are repeats or not, i just read all of the suggestions, but i cant remember them all.. if they're repeats, it's because they're great ideas! :)

salted slugs
candy corn
a used tampon
nipple clamps (attached to either end of the frank)
seedless watermelon or kiwi strawberry flavoured lube
spearmint leaves
the blood of a 13 year old virgin
or.. alternatively, calve's blood
pickled quail eggs
bull testicles
cow snout
whale penis
shark's fin
twizzlers (the pull-n-peel kind, pulled apart and tied around the frank)

that's all i can come up with right now

Posted by: kitty at March 26, 2004 1:37 AM

Freaky Franks 1 introduced me to the mouthwatering delight of buffalo wings with peanut butter - they're really yummy. I'm looking forward to Son of Freaky.

Posted by: tris at May 17, 2004 11:02 PM

I'm really in love with the idea of fire.

I also suggest:

Mini cassette tapes
Neet hair remover
toenail clippings
gefilte fish
chewing tobacco
souse (headcheese)

Hurry up, already!

Posted by: Janet at May 23, 2004 10:03 AM