August 22, 2004
The Cheap-Ass Cereal Hall of Fame
Inductee #1: RAISIN BRAN
He might look like a pancake flinging a bucket of rat turds, but he most certainly is not. He's just the HAP-HAP-HAPPIEST BRAN FLAKE EVER! Flinging a bucket of rat turds.
Cleaning out your colon has never been so zany.
Inductee #2: SILLY CIRCLES
It's Froot Loops gone silly! So very silly. Just look how silly!
Purple and pink hair??? That's silly! And look at his eyes! They're CROSSED That's text-book silly! He's even riding a unicycle! SILLY! He has a blue dog who's chasing its tail. And even HIS eyes are crossed! That's like silly squared times silly!
My goodness Silly Circles, save some silly for the other cereals!
Inductee #3: APPLE YO'S
This cereal wants to be hip-hop Apple Jacks. It uses words the kids say, like "Yo." As in "What's the dilly, yo?" Or, "What's with the cheap-ass bag of cereal, yo?!"
Look at those buildings in the background. Very "urban."
To diffuse some of this gangsta street image, the cat is also playing with a cereal "yo-yo." So moms won't be too afraid to buy it.
Looking at that cat, I can't help but think of Poochie, the pathetic hip-hop dog they once tried to add to Itchy & Scratchy on the Simpsons.
I think they even bought their sunglasses at the same store.
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